Originally Posted by NikTes

I came very, very close to slipping up a couple of days ago. The closest yet. Still processing how I got through the moment. Mostly, I think it was (as Dee puts it) a God shot. The scenario: an hour long intermission between two public events. I couldn't leave because I needed to talk to some people who were there -- and in writing/book world, this is when much of the 'action' or networking happens, and socializing gives me BIG anxiety. Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first. And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said. I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer. Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it. We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time. So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.