Class of April 2014 Part 14
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all, I'm a bit late this morning so will check in properly later.
Thanks Present, for the multi vit tip, I'll definitely give them a go.
Should've got up earlier, but will be thinking of you all while driving to work.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Thanks Present, for the multi vit tip, I'll definitely give them a go.
Should've got up earlier, but will be thinking of you all while driving to work.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Hi Fools.
Relationships are always give and take, whether it be family, spouses, friends, or acquaintances. Throughout these relationships we see a pattern forged in stone, you can never consistently get more from any relationship than you invest in it. Never invest in something with the expectation of receiving a return on that investment, for you will set yourself up for failure and disappointment.
Instead, invest as much as you can in the relationship trying to give more than you receive on a consistent basis and the results will amaze you. A true relationship is a partnership and the focus should be on the other's welfare, not your own. For if it is a true partnership and both focus on each other, than the result will be happiness in abundance.
There will always be times when one must do more than the other, carry the other for a period, endure hardship and pain, but in the end the happiness will shine through like the sun piercing a cloudy day!
Have a great day!!
Relationships are always give and take, whether it be family, spouses, friends, or acquaintances. Throughout these relationships we see a pattern forged in stone, you can never consistently get more from any relationship than you invest in it. Never invest in something with the expectation of receiving a return on that investment, for you will set yourself up for failure and disappointment.
Instead, invest as much as you can in the relationship trying to give more than you receive on a consistent basis and the results will amaze you. A true relationship is a partnership and the focus should be on the other's welfare, not your own. For if it is a true partnership and both focus on each other, than the result will be happiness in abundance.
There will always be times when one must do more than the other, carry the other for a period, endure hardship and pain, but in the end the happiness will shine through like the sun piercing a cloudy day!
Have a great day!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
That's lovely, UP, I need to learn to be more giving, and more forgiving, that's for sure. Sometimes it feels so difficult, but I can at least practice during those times it feels easier.
Wouldn't the world be an amazing place if we all gave more than we expected in return?
Like Gandhi said "be the change you wish to see in the world".
Love it.
Wouldn't the world be an amazing place if we all gave more than we expected in return?
Like Gandhi said "be the change you wish to see in the world".
Love it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi ST,
Sometimes we all have to stretch ourselves to see past the current bad stuff and refocus our minds on some goodness.
Here's my list of good stuff:
Porridge,
Early mornings when no one else is up,
No hangover,
Listening to infectious laughter,
Having a friend call me,
Seeing my brother,
Forgiving my sister for a very small thing,
Generosity from someone I've only just met,
BBC iPlayer (radio and tv)
The ability to learn new things,
Audio books,
The fact I can accept I have no musical aptitude at all, but still sing my heart out when ever possible, just to let God know he made a mistake!
I could go on, but you get the idea, there's nothing mind blowing, but added together all these small things help to get me out of bed in the morning.
I hope that helps a bit, I know it's not easy when you're in a dark place. Hope you find some lightness today.
Hugs from me.
Sometimes we all have to stretch ourselves to see past the current bad stuff and refocus our minds on some goodness.
Here's my list of good stuff:
Porridge,
Early mornings when no one else is up,
No hangover,
Listening to infectious laughter,
Having a friend call me,
Seeing my brother,
Forgiving my sister for a very small thing,
Generosity from someone I've only just met,
BBC iPlayer (radio and tv)
The ability to learn new things,
Audio books,
The fact I can accept I have no musical aptitude at all, but still sing my heart out when ever possible, just to let God know he made a mistake!
I could go on, but you get the idea, there's nothing mind blowing, but added together all these small things help to get me out of bed in the morning.
I hope that helps a bit, I know it's not easy when you're in a dark place. Hope you find some lightness today.
Hugs from me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
The sun is out here in HK ST, plenty of light, but it's too hot!
The only thing that works for me when I'm getting depressed or anxious is getting outside and doing something physical, or something good on the TV, like a game of footy!
I think you should voice your thoughts and troubles here with the gang. The Fools have a lot of experience in everything that life throws up.... Much better than a counselor because you know the Fools can relate...
In for the fool's bargain Freein......
stay tuned.....
The only thing that works for me when I'm getting depressed or anxious is getting outside and doing something physical, or something good on the TV, like a game of footy!
I think you should voice your thoughts and troubles here with the gang. The Fools have a lot of experience in everything that life throws up.... Much better than a counselor because you know the Fools can relate...
In for the fool's bargain Freein......
stay tuned.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Free,
Thanks for reminding me of how magical it is for me to focus on the positive side of things. Esp. when I wake up with these aches and pains, ..and start focusing on the negative,..
The things I have to be really grateful for always seem to be the simple things too. Even abstract concepts like fooling myself into having faith things are truly improving, ...when they don't seem like they are, .... at least for this impatient soul.
Obo, .... I totally agree with physicality chasing off the blues !
Sometimes something as simple as a short bike ride, or 15 minutes with some light dumb bells can give me enough of an attitude adjustment to improve things moving forward, .... a little chance to snap back in the *present*
This paint job is going slower than I'd expected. It's a good thing I'm not punching a clock, because I'd fire my own self if I was paying somebody for what got done yesterday !?!
Working with 3 hours sleep never helps, but today should be easier, ....with 7 or 8 hours last night.
Keep the faith y'all badass fools
Thanks for reminding me of how magical it is for me to focus on the positive side of things. Esp. when I wake up with these aches and pains, ..and start focusing on the negative,..
The things I have to be really grateful for always seem to be the simple things too. Even abstract concepts like fooling myself into having faith things are truly improving, ...when they don't seem like they are, .... at least for this impatient soul.
Obo, .... I totally agree with physicality chasing off the blues !
Sometimes something as simple as a short bike ride, or 15 minutes with some light dumb bells can give me enough of an attitude adjustment to improve things moving forward, .... a little chance to snap back in the *present*
This paint job is going slower than I'd expected. It's a good thing I'm not punching a clock, because I'd fire my own self if I was paying somebody for what got done yesterday !?!
Working with 3 hours sleep never helps, but today should be easier, ....with 7 or 8 hours last night.
Keep the faith y'all badass fools
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Hi Fools! I was going to post something different but I will save it for another day.
I know it's religious but the message rings true for everyone.
Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (KJV) -Philippians 4:8
Ever heard of the saying "You are what you eat?" Well, the same is true with your thoughts; you become what you think. Fixing our thoughts on the positive allows our outlook to be positive, even if we are surrounded by negativity. Paul is trying to show us that we can rise above behaviors we detest. It all starts with thoughts, which lead to actions, and eventually become habits.
Have a great day!!
I know it's religious but the message rings true for everyone.
Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. (KJV) -Philippians 4:8
Ever heard of the saying "You are what you eat?" Well, the same is true with your thoughts; you become what you think. Fixing our thoughts on the positive allows our outlook to be positive, even if we are surrounded by negativity. Paul is trying to show us that we can rise above behaviors we detest. It all starts with thoughts, which lead to actions, and eventually become habits.
Have a great day!!
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Just checking in before we hit the road headed to the lake.....getting a later start than I wanted too, but that should have been expected. I hate being treated like an idiot by a teenager
. He took an IQ test last night & scored in the "superior intelligence category " & now I am spending the week-end with him. OMG...I'm an idiot
Have a great week-end all!
. He took an IQ test last night & scored in the "superior intelligence category " & now I am spending the week-end with him. OMG...I'm an idiotHave a great week-end all!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Remember Mariah, that's your gene pool... You are no idiot. Have a fabulous trip.
Present, thanks for the vitamin recommendation, I've noticed that particular one at the grocery store, and will pick it up the next time I'm there.
That's a good quote, Up, and sound advice. Even though it's biblical, I don't really think it's religious.
Lucrezia, a decent therapist should be able to keep her ego out of your treatment. Yours doesn't seem to be able to do this. I think you would benefit from someone new, ideally someone willing to work with you on all of your issues. They don't exist independently from each other, and I think it makes more sense to work with someone who will see the connections between them, and address them from that perspective.
Solitary, I agree with Obosob, this is a great place for you to vent.
Freein, as usual, you offer excellent advice. I agree that refocusing on what's positive in your life really helps to keep the negative at bay and in perspective.
Topspin, I wish you'd get more sleep on a regular basis, but I'd still hire you.
Things are good here. Apparently all I needed to do to get my energy back was to whine to all of you, because it's back now, and I feel really good. My house is about 4/5 primed, and it should only be a day to a day and a half more work before we can start with the actual paint. My friend and I work really well together, and I'm having a lot of fun with her. Even just with primer on it, my house looks a whole lot better than it did, and it feels so good to be making visible progress. I think I'll paint at least some of my interior this winter, now that I'm feeling motivated and inspired.
Remember our Fools bargain, everyone, and have a wonderful weekend!
Present, thanks for the vitamin recommendation, I've noticed that particular one at the grocery store, and will pick it up the next time I'm there.
That's a good quote, Up, and sound advice. Even though it's biblical, I don't really think it's religious.
Lucrezia, a decent therapist should be able to keep her ego out of your treatment. Yours doesn't seem to be able to do this. I think you would benefit from someone new, ideally someone willing to work with you on all of your issues. They don't exist independently from each other, and I think it makes more sense to work with someone who will see the connections between them, and address them from that perspective.
Solitary, I agree with Obosob, this is a great place for you to vent.
Freein, as usual, you offer excellent advice. I agree that refocusing on what's positive in your life really helps to keep the negative at bay and in perspective.
Topspin, I wish you'd get more sleep on a regular basis, but I'd still hire you.
Things are good here. Apparently all I needed to do to get my energy back was to whine to all of you, because it's back now, and I feel really good. My house is about 4/5 primed, and it should only be a day to a day and a half more work before we can start with the actual paint. My friend and I work really well together, and I'm having a lot of fun with her. Even just with primer on it, my house looks a whole lot better than it did, and it feels so good to be making visible progress. I think I'll paint at least some of my interior this winter, now that I'm feeling motivated and inspired.
Remember our Fools bargain, everyone, and have a wonderful weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Have fun out there Mariah !
Adna, ...probably should've stuck it out painting all day like you. Sounds like y'all are tearing it up out there ! swee...eeet !!!
I got an early start painting the four windows that didn't get done yesterday and planned a long ride about midday, and had a flat at 15 miles ,....as far away from home as possible. The spare tube worked fine along with a CO2 cartridge device I'd never tried before. Thought for sure I'd busted the new tube with too much pressure, because those cartridges have enough air for two flats, (
have only read this ? )
I think the loud pop was just the tire finally seating itself properly. ....whew.
...thank goodness. Would've been a long walk home,
Back home, ..more pc problems. Don't know exactly why I let that get to me so bad, or why it's even a surprise anymore.
Starting to feel better now, ....
How's everyone doing this weekend ?
Adna, ...probably should've stuck it out painting all day like you. Sounds like y'all are tearing it up out there ! swee...eeet !!!
I got an early start painting the four windows that didn't get done yesterday and planned a long ride about midday, and had a flat at 15 miles ,....as far away from home as possible. The spare tube worked fine along with a CO2 cartridge device I'd never tried before. Thought for sure I'd busted the new tube with too much pressure, because those cartridges have enough air for two flats, (
have only read this ? )
I think the loud pop was just the tire finally seating itself properly.
....whew....thank goodness. Would've been a long walk home,
Back home, ..more pc problems. Don't know exactly why I let that get to me so bad, or why it's even a surprise anymore.
Starting to feel better now, ....
How's everyone doing this weekend ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Morning Fools....
Saturday, 11.07am
Had huge envy last night walking through the village and listening to all the noises coming out of the bars and restaurants.
Wife went out with some friends, but I've hurt my back (sitting down on the couch after swimming), so I stayed home.
Its going to be a life long thing with me I think. That voice, the justifications etc.....
17 weeks yesterday for me and the Friday night voice still loud and clear. It has a physical feeling too, like getting excited. I wonder if that's the rebel in me..... The feeling of crossing off days isn't quite as thrilling....!
Then again no hangover, feeling mentally pretty good. Anxiety comes and goes, in short doses. I can breathe through them much better and have more mental control over them it seems.
Adna, Applekat, Sol, Up, Freein, Dee, Mariah, ST, Kelly, Present, Luc, Top, Izzy, Chick, Rocks, Pan, Areyoukittenme................ and the rest of the fools (mia)...... I'm thinking of you all!!!!
stay tuned......
Saturday, 11.07am
Had huge envy last night walking through the village and listening to all the noises coming out of the bars and restaurants.
Wife went out with some friends, but I've hurt my back (sitting down on the couch after swimming), so I stayed home.
Its going to be a life long thing with me I think. That voice, the justifications etc.....
17 weeks yesterday for me and the Friday night voice still loud and clear. It has a physical feeling too, like getting excited. I wonder if that's the rebel in me..... The feeling of crossing off days isn't quite as thrilling....!
Then again no hangover, feeling mentally pretty good. Anxiety comes and goes, in short doses. I can breathe through them much better and have more mental control over them it seems.
Adna, Applekat, Sol, Up, Freein, Dee, Mariah, ST, Kelly, Present, Luc, Top, Izzy, Chick, Rocks, Pan, Areyoukittenme................ and the rest of the fools (mia)...... I'm thinking of you all!!!!
stay tuned......
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi all,
I had a fleeting gremlin moment yesterday. Met up with some cousins on the beach. We had a great day, but towards the end someone offered round some cider. I'm not a fan of cider, but it did awaken the wine gremlin in me. Strangely, I wasn't perturbed with the fact that it was offered round, It was when someone singled me out and said "there's no point asking you because you don't drink anymore" which seemed to awaken the sleeping alcoholic. I think it was probably an ego thing. However, that fleeting thought could easily have led to a stop off to the shop on the way home. If I had, I would be cursing myself this morning, instead I can see its a beautiful day and I've won another battle. I just thought it was interesting that when someone dictated what I could and couldn't do, the gremlin started to rebel strongly. It's something to be aware of.
I need to make an appointment to take our little foster cat to the vets today, he's still over-grooming and losing a lot of hair. I think it might be anxiety, not sure if anything can be done about it. I've bought a Feliway diffuser which is meant to help, but hasn't seemed to make much difference, although it's only been a couple of days.
Yep, the Fools Bargain has begun again. So stay focused and enjoy a healthy, happy weekend!
I had a fleeting gremlin moment yesterday. Met up with some cousins on the beach. We had a great day, but towards the end someone offered round some cider. I'm not a fan of cider, but it did awaken the wine gremlin in me. Strangely, I wasn't perturbed with the fact that it was offered round, It was when someone singled me out and said "there's no point asking you because you don't drink anymore" which seemed to awaken the sleeping alcoholic. I think it was probably an ego thing. However, that fleeting thought could easily have led to a stop off to the shop on the way home. If I had, I would be cursing myself this morning, instead I can see its a beautiful day and I've won another battle. I just thought it was interesting that when someone dictated what I could and couldn't do, the gremlin started to rebel strongly. It's something to be aware of.
I need to make an appointment to take our little foster cat to the vets today, he's still over-grooming and losing a lot of hair. I think it might be anxiety, not sure if anything can be done about it. I've bought a Feliway diffuser which is meant to help, but hasn't seemed to make much difference, although it's only been a couple of days.
Yep, the Fools Bargain has begun again. So stay focused and enjoy a healthy, happy weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
I'm doing much better today, I had an amazing therapy session yesterday, eye opening to say the least, an I finally know I'm not wrong for feeling weird about being in a booze fuled, codependant relationship
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Freein:"I just thought it was interesting that when someone dictated what I could and couldn't do, the gremlin started to rebel strongly. It's something to be aware of."
Absolutely. I think that's why a lot of us have a hard time telling people our decision not to drink.
I have also been struggling with anxiety (including hypochondria) and depression so I will follow suit and make a little list of the good things..
-we finally found a house to rent in the town we've wanted to live in after searching for over a year!
-my daughter's kindergarten teacher seems wonderful and says she LOVES having volunteer helpers in the classroom
-the middle school is relatively small and won't be overwhelming for my son
-everyone I've met in the town seems welcoming, unlike the town I currently live in (still only know two people by name after over a year!)
-I have been practicing piano nearly every day and have almost perfected Moonlight Sonata by heart, and I've made a lot of progress on Tchaicovsky's piano concerto #1 and Journey's "don't stop believin"
-I haven't drank since July 6
-although I've been experiencing some anxiety, it's not nearly as bad it was in the days following a night of getting drunk
-my dad is in good health, and despite the loss of my mother, he did not sink into a deep dark depression like I feared. He still smiles and laughs and has happiness in this life. Through her sickness and passing, he developed a stronger dependence and faith in God which gives him comfort.
Another good thing: I have lost 6.6lbs of the weight I've gained. No, that is not a lot. But it puts my BMI at 24.8, which is just below 25 AKA overweight. Still, it took me over 5 weeks
and I still have nearly 15 more to go just to get back to my "comfortable weight" and 25 to reach my "ideal". I'm still heavier than I was when I used to drink a lot, but I wonder if maybe that's because I'd get dehydrated. It just sucks because I really planned on losing at least 15 lbs last year and instead I gained weight. So now I have to work just to get back to where I started. Very discouraging. I'm getting impatient. At least I'm making progress and the scale is going down instead of up. The 2 lbs I gained last weekend from eating to avoid drinking came off rather easily. Hopefully it's true what they say and it's best to lose weight slowly and steadily. I know I'll have more time to devote to exercise when the kids start school too. I'm just so sick of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Most of my cute clothes are too tight for me now. I refuse to buy larger sizes. I do not carry extra weight well, unlike some women/men.
OK I started off trying to be positive and then started tearing myself down. What's up with that?! When will I learn that harsh criticism is NOT an effective method of motivation?
Anyway I still have a little over a week before school starts and I hope it goes sloooooow. Hope everyone has a good day!
Absolutely. I think that's why a lot of us have a hard time telling people our decision not to drink.
I have also been struggling with anxiety (including hypochondria) and depression so I will follow suit and make a little list of the good things..
-we finally found a house to rent in the town we've wanted to live in after searching for over a year!
-my daughter's kindergarten teacher seems wonderful and says she LOVES having volunteer helpers in the classroom
-the middle school is relatively small and won't be overwhelming for my son
-everyone I've met in the town seems welcoming, unlike the town I currently live in (still only know two people by name after over a year!)
-I have been practicing piano nearly every day and have almost perfected Moonlight Sonata by heart, and I've made a lot of progress on Tchaicovsky's piano concerto #1 and Journey's "don't stop believin"
-I haven't drank since July 6
-although I've been experiencing some anxiety, it's not nearly as bad it was in the days following a night of getting drunk
-my dad is in good health, and despite the loss of my mother, he did not sink into a deep dark depression like I feared. He still smiles and laughs and has happiness in this life. Through her sickness and passing, he developed a stronger dependence and faith in God which gives him comfort.
Another good thing: I have lost 6.6lbs of the weight I've gained. No, that is not a lot. But it puts my BMI at 24.8, which is just below 25 AKA overweight. Still, it took me over 5 weeks
and I still have nearly 15 more to go just to get back to my "comfortable weight" and 25 to reach my "ideal". I'm still heavier than I was when I used to drink a lot, but I wonder if maybe that's because I'd get dehydrated. It just sucks because I really planned on losing at least 15 lbs last year and instead I gained weight. So now I have to work just to get back to where I started. Very discouraging. I'm getting impatient. At least I'm making progress and the scale is going down instead of up. The 2 lbs I gained last weekend from eating to avoid drinking came off rather easily. Hopefully it's true what they say and it's best to lose weight slowly and steadily. I know I'll have more time to devote to exercise when the kids start school too. I'm just so sick of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Most of my cute clothes are too tight for me now. I refuse to buy larger sizes. I do not carry extra weight well, unlike some women/men. OK I started off trying to be positive and then started tearing myself down. What's up with that?! When will I learn that harsh criticism is NOT an effective method of motivation?
Anyway I still have a little over a week before school starts and I hope it goes sloooooow. Hope everyone has a good day!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Yea I finally found one, I'm pretty sure I ranted about having trouble finding someone a while back. It's more of a team honestly not just one person, but the women I see is so down to earth and really knows what she's doing, she specializes in recovery and codependant relationships, she was booked solid but she said I'm a perfect fit for her specialties. She's very mom like in my eyes, comforting and she's not uptight or rigid, nothing is wrong in the sense of how I'm feeling, she stayed later then she should have cause someone cancelled and that's almost unheard of. I'm feeling much better today honestly. I can focus much better on my medications, you def remember how all over the place I was when I logged on here the first time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
