Class of April 2014 Part 9
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Happy Memorial Day Fools.
It doesn't matter how far you have traveled down the wrong path. You can always change. You can turn around and make your way to the right path.
All you can do is try to make amends to those you have wronged. As long as you do this honestly and truthfully you will have peace in your heart. They may not forgive you, may even hate you for what you have done to them. Hatred is like a cancer, it eats away at your heart and mind. It spreads and consumes you till you hate yourself and the world. I pray for those I have wronged, that they find peace and forgiveness in their hearts.
I believe that God has a plan for all of us. At this point in time I am right where he needs me to be.
Have a great and sober day.
It doesn't matter how far you have traveled down the wrong path. You can always change. You can turn around and make your way to the right path.
All you can do is try to make amends to those you have wronged. As long as you do this honestly and truthfully you will have peace in your heart. They may not forgive you, may even hate you for what you have done to them. Hatred is like a cancer, it eats away at your heart and mind. It spreads and consumes you till you hate yourself and the world. I pray for those I have wronged, that they find peace and forgiveness in their hearts.
I believe that God has a plan for all of us. At this point in time I am right where he needs me to be.
Have a great and sober day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hiya,
Just a quick pit stop. Morning UP, and Kat.
Have just finished "counselling for toads", if was interesting and gave an easy to understand example of transactional analysis, and touched on the life stories we all identify with. Which was quite interesting, however my one gripe was at the end when toad and his pals have a meal - they have alcohol. I'm astonished, that just reading that awoke my gremlin voice. I ended up pouring myself some berry juice and water, which is usually saved for my meal prep drink.
I'm amazed how easily and unexpectedly the voice came back. I thought I was safe from that fiend. Just shows, I need to still be vigilant.
Hope everyone's having a good day.
UP, I totally agree, that we can offer heartfelt apologise, but ultimately can't change another's view. This is hard, but, like you, I feel we are all changing, and change is difficult and not always welcome. However without it none of us would ever become our "best selves". So I guess the only way is forward, however difficult it may seem.
Thank you for the reminder.
Just a quick pit stop. Morning UP, and Kat.
Have just finished "counselling for toads", if was interesting and gave an easy to understand example of transactional analysis, and touched on the life stories we all identify with. Which was quite interesting, however my one gripe was at the end when toad and his pals have a meal - they have alcohol. I'm astonished, that just reading that awoke my gremlin voice. I ended up pouring myself some berry juice and water, which is usually saved for my meal prep drink.
I'm amazed how easily and unexpectedly the voice came back. I thought I was safe from that fiend. Just shows, I need to still be vigilant.
Hope everyone's having a good day.
UP, I totally agree, that we can offer heartfelt apologise, but ultimately can't change another's view. This is hard, but, like you, I feel we are all changing, and change is difficult and not always welcome. However without it none of us would ever become our "best selves". So I guess the only way is forward, however difficult it may seem.
Thank you for the reminder.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Went to the Memorial Day parade today. It was so short and not many people came out this year, I hope it is because they are away. It is a sad day when people forget about those the lived and died to protect freedom and justice. All gave some..... and some gave all...... Sorry about the rant.
Anyway in the beginning they were handing out small American flags. After the parade I was getting ready to leave two women walked by with some kids. I overheard one saying that she wished she got there earlier to get the flags for the kids. These kids were maybe 5, so I gave her my flag and someone else gave them theirs. I don't know if I inspired the other person or not but the look on that little girls face was thanks enough. Funny part was I was thinking about not going but thought how selfish of me not to honor our vets, and I got rewarded for going.
Anyway in the beginning they were handing out small American flags. After the parade I was getting ready to leave two women walked by with some kids. I overheard one saying that she wished she got there earlier to get the flags for the kids. These kids were maybe 5, so I gave her my flag and someone else gave them theirs. I don't know if I inspired the other person or not but the look on that little girls face was thanks enough. Funny part was I was thinking about not going but thought how selfish of me not to honor our vets, and I got rewarded for going.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 801
Good morning!
Sorry I haven't been thanking everyone's posts! I started using an app and it's hard to see that part.
But, I read them all- it's been such a crucial part of my recovery. Thank you.
Freein- sorry to hear about the book! What a disappointment. I love how you didn't give in but learned from it instead. Last nite I was thinking of excuses to run to the store... For something I didn't really need... If you know what I mean. I didn't go. But I woke up thankful and amazed that we can be so happy in our sobriety and then that sneaky AV can be coming thru the back door at the same time. Makes me mad, really.
I like what you said a while back about looking ahead and planning for potential downfalls. I'm doing that today.
Btw- my b&b like I said is just small scale and for friends and family! Not starting a business or anything. I'm not that ambitious
.
Stormi-I would love your input. pm on the way-thank you!
Rock- I hope this doesn't discourage you but I was cranky for weeks. But I will say, the peace that I'm starting to experience now is soooo worth it. Please hang in there w us! And if you "fall", remember that you're not alone! We're here to help each other thru the hard parts and celebrate the good.
Kitten- hope you get some rest today! Yay ice cream!
Up- what a great story for Memorial Day. You continue to be an inspiration with how you take a difficult situation and bring something good out if it. I hope you're able to feel happy about the person you're choosing to be. I know you bring a lot of happiness here.
Sorry I haven't been thanking everyone's posts! I started using an app and it's hard to see that part.
But, I read them all- it's been such a crucial part of my recovery. Thank you.
Freein- sorry to hear about the book! What a disappointment. I love how you didn't give in but learned from it instead. Last nite I was thinking of excuses to run to the store... For something I didn't really need... If you know what I mean. I didn't go. But I woke up thankful and amazed that we can be so happy in our sobriety and then that sneaky AV can be coming thru the back door at the same time. Makes me mad, really.
I like what you said a while back about looking ahead and planning for potential downfalls. I'm doing that today.
Btw- my b&b like I said is just small scale and for friends and family! Not starting a business or anything. I'm not that ambitious
.Stormi-I would love your input. pm on the way-thank you!
Rock- I hope this doesn't discourage you but I was cranky for weeks. But I will say, the peace that I'm starting to experience now is soooo worth it. Please hang in there w us! And if you "fall", remember that you're not alone! We're here to help each other thru the hard parts and celebrate the good.
Kitten- hope you get some rest today! Yay ice cream!
Up- what a great story for Memorial Day. You continue to be an inspiration with how you take a difficult situation and bring something good out if it. I hope you're able to feel happy about the person you're choosing to be. I know you bring a lot of happiness here
.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by izzy8 
Good morning!
Sorry I haven't been thanking everyone's posts! I started using an app and it's hard to see that part.
Sorry I haven't been thanking everyone's posts! I started using an app and it's hard to see that part.
Originally Posted by izzy8
But, I read them all- it's been such a crucial part of my recovery. Thank you.
Freein- sorry to hear about the book! What a disappointment. I love how you didn't give in but learned from it instead. Last nite I was thinking of excuses to run to the store... For something I didn't really need... If you know what I mean. I didn't go. But I woke up thankful and amazed that we can be so happy in our sobriety and then that sneaky AV can be coming thru the back door at the same time. Makes me mad, really.
I like what you said a while back about looking ahead and planning for potential downfalls. I'm doing that today.
Btw- my b&b like I said is just small scale and for friends and family! Not starting a business or anything. I'm not that ambitious.
Stormi-I would love your input. pm on the way-thank you!
Rock- I hope this doesn't discourage you but I was cranky for weeks. But I will say, the peace that I'm starting to experience now is soooo worth it. Please hang in there w us! And if you "fall", remember that you're not alone! We're here to help each other thru the hard parts and celebrate the good.
Freein- sorry to hear about the book! What a disappointment. I love how you didn't give in but learned from it instead. Last nite I was thinking of excuses to run to the store... For something I didn't really need... If you know what I mean. I didn't go. But I woke up thankful and amazed that we can be so happy in our sobriety and then that sneaky AV can be coming thru the back door at the same time. Makes me mad, really.
I like what you said a while back about looking ahead and planning for potential downfalls. I'm doing that today.
Btw- my b&b like I said is just small scale and for friends and family! Not starting a business or anything. I'm not that ambitious
.Stormi-I would love your input. pm on the way-thank you!
Rock- I hope this doesn't discourage you but I was cranky for weeks. But I will say, the peace that I'm starting to experience now is soooo worth it. Please hang in there w us! And if you "fall", remember that you're not alone! We're here to help each other thru the hard parts and celebrate the good.
Originally Posted by izzy8
Kitten- hope you get some rest today! Yay ice cream!
Up- what a great story for Memorial Day. You continue to be an inspiration with how you take a difficult situation and bring something good out if it. I hope you're able to feel happy about the person you're choosing to be. I know you bring a lot of happiness here.
Up- what a great story for Memorial Day. You continue to be an inspiration with how you take a difficult situation and bring something good out if it. I hope you're able to feel happy about the person you're choosing to be. I know you bring a lot of happiness here
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Good morning,
I hope you are all feeling good today.
Thinking about what Up wrote about about amends and forgiveness has me wondering why it always hardest to forgive ourselves.
I've never been one to hold a grudge. I can forgive almost anything in someone else, but find it so hard to forgive those same kinds of things in myself. What's that about?
I just got back from the grocery store where I ran into an old boyfriend from about 20 years ago. He treated me poorly back then, and I've been over it for nearly 20 years. I'm always glad to see him when we run into each other, but he almost always starts to squirm, I know it's because he feels guilty in my presence, I always try to ease his mind on some level, but it really comes down to his inability to forgive himself for how he behaved back then. I've even told him all is forgiven on my end, but he just can't give that to himself.
Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like we give everyone else permission to be the flawed and limited people we all are, but refuse to give ourselves the same kind of breaks.
My goal for today is to forgive myself for my own shortcomings. I hope some of you can do the same thing. Being human is hard enough, we don't need to crucify ourselves for our flaws and frailties. Let's try to celebrate our progress instead.
I love you guys.
I hope you are all feeling good today.
Thinking about what Up wrote about about amends and forgiveness has me wondering why it always hardest to forgive ourselves.
I've never been one to hold a grudge. I can forgive almost anything in someone else, but find it so hard to forgive those same kinds of things in myself. What's that about?
I just got back from the grocery store where I ran into an old boyfriend from about 20 years ago. He treated me poorly back then, and I've been over it for nearly 20 years. I'm always glad to see him when we run into each other, but he almost always starts to squirm, I know it's because he feels guilty in my presence, I always try to ease his mind on some level, but it really comes down to his inability to forgive himself for how he behaved back then. I've even told him all is forgiven on my end, but he just can't give that to himself.
Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like we give everyone else permission to be the flawed and limited people we all are, but refuse to give ourselves the same kind of breaks.
My goal for today is to forgive myself for my own shortcomings. I hope some of you can do the same thing. Being human is hard enough, we don't need to crucify ourselves for our flaws and frailties. Let's try to celebrate our progress instead.
I love you guys.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by Adnamaeel
Good morning, I hope you are all feeling good today. Thinking about what Up wrote about about amends and forgiveness has me wondering why it always hardest to forgive ourselves. I've never been one to hold a grudge. I can forgive almost anything in someone else, but find it so hard to forgive those same kinds of things in myself. What's that about? I just got back from the grocery store where I ran into an old boyfriend from about 20 years ago. He treated me poorly back then, and I've been over it for nearly 20 years. I'm always glad to see him when we run into each other, but he almost always starts to squirm, I know it's because he feels guilty in my presence, I always try to ease his mind on some level, but it really comes down to his inability to forgive himself for how he behaved back then. I've even told him all is forgiven on my end, but he just can't give that to himself. Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like we give everyone else permission to be the flawed and limited people we all are, but refuse to give ourselves the same kind of breaks. My goal for today is to forgive myself for my own shortcomings. I hope some of you can do the same thing. Being human is hard enough, we don't need to crucify ourselves for our flaws and frailties. Let's try to celebrate our progress instead. I love you guys.
I'm good all trying to make it thru this weekend, living by the beach it's a bad bad weekend for drinking...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Adna, thank you for your post, you're so right, forgiving ourselves is difficult. Yet if we were able to do this what amazing freedom we would have. We'd be free to really start again, to shake off old baggage, and see the world itself as forgiving.
I'm with you, this week I'm going to start living "as if" I have forgiven myself for all my past failings and shortcomings. Hopefully it will become my default experience - learn from mistakes, forgive mistakes, and move on.
I think it was Thomas Eddison who said that each of his many mistakes was another thing he could discard in order to eventually find the answer to his light bulb problem. The more mistakes he made the closer he got to his goal. (The quote is much more classy and succinct than that, but hey, I forgive myself for my poor memory).
Hope everyone's having a good day.
I'm with you, this week I'm going to start living "as if" I have forgiven myself for all my past failings and shortcomings. Hopefully it will become my default experience - learn from mistakes, forgive mistakes, and move on.
I think it was Thomas Eddison who said that each of his many mistakes was another thing he could discard in order to eventually find the answer to his light bulb problem. The more mistakes he made the closer he got to his goal. (The quote is much more classy and succinct than that, but hey, I forgive myself for my poor memory).
Hope everyone's having a good day.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Adna and free, if you can do it you won't believe the weight lifted. I don't know how I got there but I was able to forgive myself and realize I am not perfect. I wish I could figure out how I came to that epiphany, I would share with everyone that would listen.
I wish all of you the best on that journey. Perhaps that is the problem, each of us must find our own route to that end.
I wish all of you the best on that journey. Perhaps that is the problem, each of us must find our own route to that end.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
I think we first have to accept that it's Ok to be imperfect. Then perhaps be able to celebrate the fact that we are imperfect, seeing ourselves as perfectly imperfect, just like everyone else.
Hmm, I think I need to do some work on this.
Hmm, I think I need to do some work on this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Originally Posted by freein14
I think we first have to accept that it's Ok to be imperfect. Then perhaps be able to celebrate the fact that we are imperfect, seeing ourselves as perfectly imperfect, just like everyone else. Hmm, I think I need to do some work on this.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Since I can't be with the one I REALLY want to be with. How about we have a virtual BBQ?
Ignore the hotdog that fell into the grill. I promise not to pass it off to anyone.
Ignore the hotdog that fell into the grill. I promise not to pass it off to anyone.
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