Class of March 2013 Part 15
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,288
Originally Posted by 360shoes 
Try to be, strive to be, sometimes. There were and are days when people have to show that to me.
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S
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,175
Hope so too SJD
LP I'll let you off the apology this once! We do change when we lose both parents, we are suddenly the oldest generation, you did not betray your mum in talking to your aunt about your memory, but you did let go of something that had caused you distress for a long time, and I hope in time that will give you a feeling of release. Baby steps in your recovery LP, take things easy hon.
Shoes, I know what you are going through, and you are strong to continue supporting your parents, it is your brothers loss that he doesn't spend these days with them, and as a Buddhist you will believe in and understand karma.
Joygirl, I too had plenty of temptation this weekend, still have a first class free drink journey back up the road to navigate, I can hear that AV saying ' wow you did it! A visit to your folks sober..... Lets celebrate!' Of course forewarned is definitely forearmed!!
LP I'll let you off the apology this once! We do change when we lose both parents, we are suddenly the oldest generation, you did not betray your mum in talking to your aunt about your memory, but you did let go of something that had caused you distress for a long time, and I hope in time that will give you a feeling of release. Baby steps in your recovery LP, take things easy hon.
Shoes, I know what you are going through, and you are strong to continue supporting your parents, it is your brothers loss that he doesn't spend these days with them, and as a Buddhist you will believe in and understand karma.
Joygirl, I too had plenty of temptation this weekend, still have a first class free drink journey back up the road to navigate, I can hear that AV saying ' wow you did it! A visit to your folks sober..... Lets celebrate!' Of course forewarned is definitely forearmed!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Toots, some days I don't know if I'm paying for bad karma or creating new.
The facility and I made the decision to move dad to a different room. He has now been in his own room for a week. They asked both of us to not see mom for about two weeks when we moved him. This has been good and bad. For everyone. He is much more calm and is now with people who don't have Alzheimer's. He loves his own space. He can watch TV, work on his puzzles, take a nap, yak with people, and his favorite, pick his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner from 2 choices everyday. Whenever he wants. He couldn't do that before. He misses mom terribly but he seems to be pretty accepting of it. Whenever I say anything about this must be hard for him he always says it is what it is or well, that's the disease. He doesn't emotionally rely on me as much now. If I miss a phone call, he's ok with when I can get him called back. He has made friends with a lady who is in the same situation and they talk a lot. I'm glad he found his version of SR.
I'm scared to death of who I will meet when I can see mom. 2 weeks in Alzheimer's world can be night and day. They doubled her antipsychotic medication. The only drugs that gave her relief from the emotional suffering. Rotten disease. Anti anxiety and sleeping aid drugs don't work well on this disease so zombie state is about it. I'm the one who made the decision to stop treating her disease. Easy in theory. I think when I see her it will feel very different. I know I did right by her though.
I used to pray for the day she didn't know she was slipping away. Now I wish I could have her back even if it is for a minute or two. Not fair to her though so I will be okay.
With the two rooms, we are now out of money and today I will be finishing up filing for Medicaid. It's official. The state will care for them now. The financial burden lifted will help me tremendously.
As far as my brother, I have no bad feelings. I still text him and call and leave messages keeping him posted regardless. I always say I hope he is doing okay. I choose love and its too hard for him. He can choose what works for him.
None of this is because I am a saint or anymore kind or compassionate than anyone else. I will give some credit to not drinking though. Buddha only knows what would have happened to me if I hadn't quit. It probably would have killed me and I probably would have left a legacy of family pain and destruction behind me.
So...you all get some credit for help making a not so pleasant experience a rewarding one. Just want you all to know that you helping me helped all my family.
People do change the world one person at a time.
xoxo
The facility and I made the decision to move dad to a different room. He has now been in his own room for a week. They asked both of us to not see mom for about two weeks when we moved him. This has been good and bad. For everyone. He is much more calm and is now with people who don't have Alzheimer's. He loves his own space. He can watch TV, work on his puzzles, take a nap, yak with people, and his favorite, pick his own breakfast, lunch, and dinner from 2 choices everyday. Whenever he wants. He couldn't do that before. He misses mom terribly but he seems to be pretty accepting of it. Whenever I say anything about this must be hard for him he always says it is what it is or well, that's the disease. He doesn't emotionally rely on me as much now. If I miss a phone call, he's ok with when I can get him called back. He has made friends with a lady who is in the same situation and they talk a lot. I'm glad he found his version of SR.
I'm scared to death of who I will meet when I can see mom. 2 weeks in Alzheimer's world can be night and day. They doubled her antipsychotic medication. The only drugs that gave her relief from the emotional suffering. Rotten disease. Anti anxiety and sleeping aid drugs don't work well on this disease so zombie state is about it. I'm the one who made the decision to stop treating her disease. Easy in theory. I think when I see her it will feel very different. I know I did right by her though.
I used to pray for the day she didn't know she was slipping away. Now I wish I could have her back even if it is for a minute or two. Not fair to her though so I will be okay.
With the two rooms, we are now out of money and today I will be finishing up filing for Medicaid. It's official. The state will care for them now. The financial burden lifted will help me tremendously.
As far as my brother, I have no bad feelings. I still text him and call and leave messages keeping him posted regardless. I always say I hope he is doing okay. I choose love and its too hard for him. He can choose what works for him.
None of this is because I am a saint or anymore kind or compassionate than anyone else. I will give some credit to not drinking though. Buddha only knows what would have happened to me if I hadn't quit. It probably would have killed me and I probably would have left a legacy of family pain and destruction behind me.
So...you all get some credit for help making a not so pleasant experience a rewarding one. Just want you all to know that you helping me helped all my family.
People do change the world one person at a time.
xoxo
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good afternoon Marchers!
Toots, you are such a bright spot in my day. It's a good feeling to push the AV out onto the cold, dank street. But we never know when it will come knocking again, trying to schmooze its way back in, flirting and whispering sweet nothings in our ears, making ridiculous promises it never intends to keep. Who was it? Someone here compared it (AV) to an old lover we can't stand anymore, yet occasionally tempts us.
Shoes, I'm glad you are getting a bit of a break in the finance sector of caring for Mom and Dad. You've earned it.
SJD, I do hope your freaky dreams subside soon. Sweet dreams will be there soon!
Sassy, You always have a kind word and leave me feeling like I did indeed just receive a warm hug. Thank you for that!
Life, Here's some sunshine from the south! May it warm your heart and fill your soul with serenity, if only for a few moments. Let me know when you need more.
I am feeling so warm and gooey today! All full of sappy goodness. I have to warn you all, this is kinda my norm. A few weeks ago, I thought I'd hit my old stride, and then yesterday arrives and I get more of myself back. Even MIL commented that I seemed like the old me. I think it's what's left as the bitterness and darkness continues to leave me. It's slow, but its sure.
And as Shoes said above, you all have been helping me, changing the world one person at a time. Thank you.
Big hugs!
Toots, you are such a bright spot in my day. It's a good feeling to push the AV out onto the cold, dank street. But we never know when it will come knocking again, trying to schmooze its way back in, flirting and whispering sweet nothings in our ears, making ridiculous promises it never intends to keep. Who was it? Someone here compared it (AV) to an old lover we can't stand anymore, yet occasionally tempts us.
Shoes, I'm glad you are getting a bit of a break in the finance sector of caring for Mom and Dad. You've earned it.
SJD, I do hope your freaky dreams subside soon. Sweet dreams will be there soon!
Sassy, You always have a kind word and leave me feeling like I did indeed just receive a warm hug. Thank you for that!
Life, Here's some sunshine from the south! May it warm your heart and fill your soul with serenity, if only for a few moments. Let me know when you need more.
I am feeling so warm and gooey today! All full of sappy goodness. I have to warn you all, this is kinda my norm. A few weeks ago, I thought I'd hit my old stride, and then yesterday arrives and I get more of myself back. Even MIL commented that I seemed like the old me. I think it's what's left as the bitterness and darkness continues to leave me. It's slow, but its sure.
And as Shoes said above, you all have been helping me, changing the world one person at a time. Thank you.
Big hugs!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 891
Hi all, I've just joined the July class. Feel like a naughty school kid who is continually held back and made to repeat a term. This is my last 1st day. I can't do it, face it or even communicate to you guys that i'm back on day 1 anymore. THIS IS IT. You are all doing so so well. It's my birthday in 2 day's time- a proper yankee doodle dandy after all. I plan this birthday to be the first sober one (as an adult) with many many more to come.
I'm not leaving you guys, I get too many cyber hugs but i've joined the new class to once again go through the same motions at the same time. YOu are all doing so so well. You are an inspiration. J xxx
I'm not leaving you guys, I get too many cyber hugs but i've joined the new class to once again go through the same motions at the same time. YOu are all doing so so well. You are an inspiration. J xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning Marchers.
Life sweetie, July class is a go-er! Julians, I'm sure, are related to Marchers, just remember to keep coming here ok?
Peeps I'm feeling a real physical change in my health and energy levels. For the first six weeks I was flat out exhausted needing to go to bed very early every night, then it evened out a bit but I still needed a lot of sleep. Now I can do seven hours and feel good at both ends of the day. Is anyone else experiencing more deep rooted improvements in health? Dee, can you remember back to four months?
Have a good Tuesday! Or Monday if you are dragging the chain ...
Life sweetie, July class is a go-er! Julians, I'm sure, are related to Marchers, just remember to keep coming here ok?
Peeps I'm feeling a real physical change in my health and energy levels. For the first six weeks I was flat out exhausted needing to go to bed very early every night, then it evened out a bit but I still needed a lot of sleep. Now I can do seven hours and feel good at both ends of the day. Is anyone else experiencing more deep rooted improvements in health? Dee, can you remember back to four months?
Have a good Tuesday! Or Monday if you are dragging the chain ...
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Life, You are not naughty! I've been a teacher and I know naughty. You are like a seashell, taken out into a storm at sea, then rolled back onto the beach, just at a different spot. Plant yourself in July, but reach over here sometimes, too! 
Marcher,
Absolutely, I feel real improvements. Remember how I use to fret over not being able to walk into the kitchen for a glass of water? Well rested has replaced morning anxiety and dread. It seemed to take forever for me to get here.
I am so glad to hear you are feeling improvements too! How is the recovery quilt coming along?
Marcher,
Absolutely, I feel real improvements. Remember how I use to fret over not being able to walk into the kitchen for a glass of water? Well rested has replaced morning anxiety and dread. It seemed to take forever for me to get here.
I am so glad to hear you are feeling improvements too! How is the recovery quilt coming along?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,288
LifeT, you can post on multiple threads. I do. Sometimes I get different perspectives from each and that's healthy. You can do this; try to not get too discouraged. It took me around 10 months of trying to make it to 30 days and then blew it and a month later finally made it. I think it's better to focus on where you want to be rather than where you've been. It wasn't until after I quit beating myself up about slips that I finally made it. You can, too!
Marcher -- feeling more rested is definitely likely. When we don't get REM sleep when drinking, not only do we have a dream sleep deficit, but we aren't getting the kinds of sleep our bodies expect. A second possibility is sleep apnea. I have that to begin with and use a cpap machine. When we drink, sleep apnea can be worse or can show up unannounced. Now that I'm not drinking, my machine tells me I'm getting better therapy.
Hugs,
Sass
Marcher -- feeling more rested is definitely likely. When we don't get REM sleep when drinking, not only do we have a dream sleep deficit, but we aren't getting the kinds of sleep our bodies expect. A second possibility is sleep apnea. I have that to begin with and use a cpap machine. When we drink, sleep apnea can be worse or can show up unannounced. Now that I'm not drinking, my machine tells me I'm getting better therapy.
Hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Marcher, the same thing went on with me. Before I stopped drinking I couldn't sleep at night when I wasn't drunk. After about 10 days I started sleeping much better, and now, I sleep well most every night. Also, before there was no way I was getting up before 10:00 am without a fight, now, I usually wake up by 7:15 and am ready to start my day.
JP, Welcome to the March Group!
Life, lets get back on track, you CAN do it!
Joy, Good to hear you are doing well.
Shoes, it takes a lot of inner strength to go through what you are dealing with, and I as well as all of us are proud of you!!!
Stay Strong
Ken
JP, Welcome to the March Group!
Life, lets get back on track, you CAN do it!
Joy, Good to hear you are doing well.
Shoes, it takes a lot of inner strength to go through what you are dealing with, and I as well as all of us are proud of you!!!
Stay Strong
Ken
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Jplingo!!!
Welcome to the Marchers! We are a fun and great group of people from all over the planet. We are talkers and have a great sense of humor. I have blabbed out all my dirty little secrets, my heartaches, my ups and downs and have gotten nothing but support. The only rule we imposed upon ourselves is you never have to apologize for sharing whatever you need to share whenever you need to share.
You need anything just hoot! We will be there.
Did you want to tell us about you and how you are doing at 4 months give or take?
Welcome to the Marchers! We are a fun and great group of people from all over the planet. We are talkers and have a great sense of humor. I have blabbed out all my dirty little secrets, my heartaches, my ups and downs and have gotten nothing but support. The only rule we imposed upon ourselves is you never have to apologize for sharing whatever you need to share whenever you need to share.
You need anything just hoot! We will be there.
Did you want to tell us about you and how you are doing at 4 months give or take?
Welcome jplingo, it's god to have you join the Marchers, drop in and chat any time.Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
Originally Posted by jplingo
Hello ...
Ive only just joined up to this site and thanks to another member ive been pointed to this area to look at
Ive been sober since early march time, the longest amount of time sober in several years.
Ive only just joined up to this site and thanks to another member ive been pointed to this area to look at
Ive been sober since early march time, the longest amount of time sober in several years.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by lifetplant
You are all doing so so well.
I think that most of us do seem to be doing quite well, but it's so often a "there but for the grace of God" thing. And some of us have less stress and/or more support than others. So please, none of this comparing yourself negatively to the rest of us stuff! You're still one of us!!
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