Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 2
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Ladybug sorry the Vicky Comment is a lady from bravos real housewives Orange County ... Embarrassed to admit....
Sad soul I'm do sorry for you aside from the drinking part my husband is the same. I do everything I don't think I've missed a single night bathing feeding putting them to bed and being the first one up in 7 years( my oldest is 7). I am responsible for all housework. I think that's why I drank do much honestly it's sad.
For my situation I think I created this. I always did everything even when offered help I'd say no eventually a persons going to get use to and only know how to have you take care if them.
I practicing baby steps on not being a door mat. Now that I'm sober I don't want yo be recentful. Because I do love my hubby so much!
Do you think your husbands drinking is problematic? Will he open up to you about it? You could be such good support to each other.
Sad soul I'm do sorry for you aside from the drinking part my husband is the same. I do everything I don't think I've missed a single night bathing feeding putting them to bed and being the first one up in 7 years( my oldest is 7). I am responsible for all housework. I think that's why I drank do much honestly it's sad.
For my situation I think I created this. I always did everything even when offered help I'd say no eventually a persons going to get use to and only know how to have you take care if them.
I practicing baby steps on not being a door mat. Now that I'm sober I don't want yo be recentful. Because I do love my hubby so much!
Do you think your husbands drinking is problematic? Will he open up to you about it? You could be such good support to each other.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Originally Posted by InperfectlyMe 
Ladybug sorry the Vicky Comment is a lady from bravos real housewives Orange County ... Embarrassed to admit..
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Sadsoul, I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time with hubby. You are amazing to stay sober!! I can't seem to do it and I have an amazing supportive husband who doesn't drink or do drugs at all.
I'm not really sure what to say but I can give you hugs and kisses xoxoxo. Do you go to AA? Keep posting here, we can be your support. I know I need it.
I'm not really sure what to say but I can give you hugs and kisses xoxoxo. Do you go to AA? Keep posting here, we can be your support. I know I need it.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hey, you know I second that we should all live in the same town. Strong coffee, good food, olives and cheese and grilled stuff. And fancy fizzy water! And laughs and hugs and dancing to music, play groups with the kids, and at home manicures and pedicures and facials.
Yes, that would be fun indeed!
Yes, that would be fun indeed!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hi All,
So I'm back - I cannot control my drinking and had a horrific night on Tuesday - yesterday my hubby threatened to leave unless I get this sorted and more than anything I do want to stop it now.
So I made the decision to go to the drs and start the process and I wish I hadn't - the dr was awful - we filled out a tick-box form which has referred me to a drug and alachol team in the nhs - apparently they will write to me to sort out a date? I also said I thought I had post natal depression - apparently alcahol abuse goes hand in hand with depression so i need to fix that before they will look at pnd! My baby is 11 weeks old and I am currently on maternity leave with him and my 3yr old and it's really hard. We don't have any family around so it's just me n the kids till HHS hubbs gets in
Anyways - I am so sick of effing up and so sick of this awful feeling of self loathing. I am so emotional today
but day 2 here we go
I hope everyone's doing well
Xx
So I'm back - I cannot control my drinking and had a horrific night on Tuesday - yesterday my hubby threatened to leave unless I get this sorted and more than anything I do want to stop it now.
So I made the decision to go to the drs and start the process and I wish I hadn't - the dr was awful - we filled out a tick-box form which has referred me to a drug and alachol team in the nhs - apparently they will write to me to sort out a date? I also said I thought I had post natal depression - apparently alcahol abuse goes hand in hand with depression so i need to fix that before they will look at pnd! My baby is 11 weeks old and I am currently on maternity leave with him and my 3yr old and it's really hard. We don't have any family around so it's just me n the kids till HHS hubbs gets in
Anyways - I am so sick of effing up and so sick of this awful feeling of self loathing. I am so emotional today
but day 2 here we goI hope everyone's doing well
Xx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Good luck Sarah. I feel your pain. I'm sick of screwing up too. I also know what it's like to not have family around. Keep posting and talking. We can do it! I agree drinking and drugging can really send you into depression or make it worse, it has for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Hey Sara your message mad me so sad. I PROMISE you this......it will get better.
Firstly in post pardon depression it struck me like a freight train when my youngest was 10 weeks old. I remember driving with my daughters and the baby was crying my 3 year old was crying and I was crying the loudest!!!! I couldn't breath wanted to die kept saying how is this my life I can't do it.
I pulled over got out sat in th ground and called my veteran mommy sister. She told me to breath... And said I promise you this is not forever!!!!!!
I promise you too this won't be forever. But it is real.
On the alcohol you can quit and we will be there fir you whenever you need it. It isn't an easy road but the feelings of not hating yourself are worth it you are worth it!
Firstly in post pardon depression it struck me like a freight train when my youngest was 10 weeks old. I remember driving with my daughters and the baby was crying my 3 year old was crying and I was crying the loudest!!!! I couldn't breath wanted to die kept saying how is this my life I can't do it.
I pulled over got out sat in th ground and called my veteran mommy sister. She told me to breath... And said I promise you this is not forever!!!!!!
I promise you too this won't be forever. But it is real.
On the alcohol you can quit and we will be there fir you whenever you need it. It isn't an easy road but the feelings of not hating yourself are worth it you are worth it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 144
morning all.
MLC you are going to kick this thing, we all know you can do it!
Justsarah, ooohhhh! that makes me so mad too! Yes you may be depressed because of the alcohol but PPD is real. But I guess when I look at it a step away from the emotion (my anger at the health system) I would say the first step in getting over it probably is sobriety. Maybe when you meet the addiction folks you will have a better experience. Perhaps if you bring up your PPD concerns they can give you antidepressants. I can't see why they couldn't treat the depression and addiction side by side. If alcohol is how you deal with depression it is just dumb to tell you that they will work on your depression after you stop drinking. GGRRRRR. I got so angry on your behalf that I went downstairs and hit my husbands punching bag a few times.
have great days everyone.
MLC you are going to kick this thing, we all know you can do it!
Justsarah, ooohhhh! that makes me so mad too! Yes you may be depressed because of the alcohol but PPD is real. But I guess when I look at it a step away from the emotion (my anger at the health system) I would say the first step in getting over it probably is sobriety. Maybe when you meet the addiction folks you will have a better experience. Perhaps if you bring up your PPD concerns they can give you antidepressants. I can't see why they couldn't treat the depression and addiction side by side. If alcohol is how you deal with depression it is just dumb to tell you that they will work on your depression after you stop drinking. GGRRRRR. I got so angry on your behalf that I went downstairs and hit my husbands punching bag a few times.
have great days everyone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Good Morning!
Everyone - thanks for all the nice comments last night - they helped! I had an ok evening - got the kids to bed and watched TV and chilled with a good cup of coffee and my knitting. Just kept to myself and tried to relax. Got a good night's sleep and now I'm ready to have a good day.
I've been thinking that some of my husband's moods/behaviors could be from me quitting drinking - it has been a big change for me and him, too. He has lost his drinking buddy so his evenings are all 'out-of-whack', too.
But, I'm trying not to spend too much time in my head thinking about all this - that makes me crazy and feeds my AV.
This weekend I will try to get my groove back in the kitchen. Thankfully I've been able to stay on-top of the housework, laundry, yardwork etc... It has turned out that cooking/dinner time had turned into a huge trigger time for me (I had no idea....) - especially during the week after a long day at work when my husband is hanging out in the kitchen drinking. Ugh!
But, I'm getting stronger and can vary my schedule on the weekends so maybe I can improve in that area. I have a hard time planning a menu for a week at a time because my work schedule + kids schedule is too unpredictable. However, I'm going to try to plan a couple of meals that I can make ahead or do in the crock pot. Maybe that will help
MLC - Hang in there!!!! You're strong and can so do this! I don't do AA but SR is a wonderful support for me - gets me through the hard spots.
Sara - Welcome! I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. I hope the doctors can sort it all out quickly. Keep posting here! We understand.
Hope everyone has a wonderful, sober day!
Everyone - thanks for all the nice comments last night - they helped! I had an ok evening - got the kids to bed and watched TV and chilled with a good cup of coffee and my knitting. Just kept to myself and tried to relax. Got a good night's sleep and now I'm ready to have a good day.
I've been thinking that some of my husband's moods/behaviors could be from me quitting drinking - it has been a big change for me and him, too. He has lost his drinking buddy so his evenings are all 'out-of-whack', too.
But, I'm trying not to spend too much time in my head thinking about all this - that makes me crazy and feeds my AV.
This weekend I will try to get my groove back in the kitchen. Thankfully I've been able to stay on-top of the housework, laundry, yardwork etc... It has turned out that cooking/dinner time had turned into a huge trigger time for me (I had no idea....) - especially during the week after a long day at work when my husband is hanging out in the kitchen drinking. Ugh!
But, I'm getting stronger and can vary my schedule on the weekends so maybe I can improve in that area. I have a hard time planning a menu for a week at a time because my work schedule + kids schedule is too unpredictable. However, I'm going to try to plan a couple of meals that I can make ahead or do in the crock pot. Maybe that will help
MLC - Hang in there!!!! You're strong and can so do this! I don't do AA but SR is a wonderful support for me - gets me through the hard spots.
Sara - Welcome! I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. I hope the doctors can sort it all out quickly. Keep posting here! We understand.
Hope everyone has a wonderful, sober day!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
Hi all, thank you so much for the support - I am so angry at the health system too - I hate dr's as its always like this - but it has already shown me that I have to sort this out for myself - so firstly I will stop with the drinking and keep coming here and posting.
As for pnd - I have no clue... I guess it's one day at a time for everything at the moment
MLC - I wish you all the best - we can do this (right?!)
Xx
As for pnd - I have no clue... I guess it's one day at a time for everything at the moment
MLC - I wish you all the best - we can do this (right?!)
Xx
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good morning!
Hi, Sarah! I needed antidepressants for my depression. PPD can be very serious.
I remember crying in the middle of the floor with my babies. We all cried together. I cried
into the phone with my mom on the line. Some days are just like that. It's okay to cry.
Your hormones and emotions are all over the place!
MLC, Good evening! Still here for you!
Sadsoul, I agree, your husband is going through your change too. He's probably a little
out of whack. He'll adjust. You keep getting stronger, that's the best part! Make ahead
meals are a great idea. Cook on the weekend and store in fridge, ready to go. Does your
husband grill? You can make ahead side dishes and just heat them up while he grills.
I have to admit, we've eaten a lot of take out in the past couple of months, too. I'm just
getting back to cooking lately.
Have a good one everybody! Today is my day 90!!!!!!!!! It's been worth all the tears,
pain, and sleepless nights!
Hi, Sarah! I needed antidepressants for my depression. PPD can be very serious.
I remember crying in the middle of the floor with my babies. We all cried together. I cried
into the phone with my mom on the line. Some days are just like that. It's okay to cry.
Your hormones and emotions are all over the place!
MLC, Good evening! Still here for you!
Sadsoul, I agree, your husband is going through your change too. He's probably a little
out of whack. He'll adjust. You keep getting stronger, that's the best part! Make ahead
meals are a great idea. Cook on the weekend and store in fridge, ready to go. Does your
husband grill? You can make ahead side dishes and just heat them up while he grills.
I have to admit, we've eaten a lot of take out in the past couple of months, too. I'm just
getting back to cooking lately.
Have a good one everybody! Today is my day 90!!!!!!!!! It's been worth all the tears,
pain, and sleepless nights!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Rosemary Chicken - one of our favorites: Put clean tiny new or fingerling potatoes and baby carrots in bottom of crock. Rub olive oil all over a whole chicken. Put on top of veg. Sprinkle with rosemary, salt and pepper. No water. Cover and cook all day. You can add any veg you like. This also works well with pork tenderloin.
greenturtle
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 208
Sarah - Welcome! Wishing you luck on getting better! PPD is horrible - I went through it too although mine wasn't too bad compared to others.
SadSoul - This may sound selfish but when I quit drinking the last time I finally told my husband that he cannot drink around me whatsoever - at least in the beginning. Luckily, he isn't a big drinker anyway - he can take it or leave it - but for some reason when I try to get sober he has drinks when we go out to dinner, parties, etc. Maybe it's selfish of me but he knows I have problems with alcohol and if he loves me then he should be supportive and make me feel comfortable in my sobriety. I don't know if your husband would be willing to do this however? Eventually, I think I will be comfortable being around drinkers or him having a drink in front of me but early on in trying to get sober I just think it's a very bad idea. Good luck - I am rooting for you and everyone else here
SadSoul - This may sound selfish but when I quit drinking the last time I finally told my husband that he cannot drink around me whatsoever - at least in the beginning. Luckily, he isn't a big drinker anyway - he can take it or leave it - but for some reason when I try to get sober he has drinks when we go out to dinner, parties, etc. Maybe it's selfish of me but he knows I have problems with alcohol and if he loves me then he should be supportive and make me feel comfortable in my sobriety. I don't know if your husband would be willing to do this however? Eventually, I think I will be comfortable being around drinkers or him having a drink in front of me but early on in trying to get sober I just think it's a very bad idea. Good luck - I am rooting for you and everyone else here
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Congrats on 90 days, joygirl! That is a huge milestone! I keep reading that it takes a good 90 days to start feeling "normal" again? You'll have to let us know what kind of improvements you notice. I agree with Inperfectlyme, do something special for yourself today
Welcome back, JustSarah, sorry you are struggling. Keep coming here - we will help you with the drinking part. Alcohol only makes EVERYTHING worse. It is such a short-term "fix", if that? SR and this thread of Moms/Mums has gotten me to 39 days. You can do it!
It is a stormy, rainy (as in pouring) day here. Have so much I wanted to do, outside of the house, but don't feel like dragging my daughter around in this weather. Oh well, plenty to do here, if I could just get motivated. I was just thinking how much I used to love these types of days (excuse to drink ..and cleaning got done), but then I remembered how much of a waste the following day would be all hungover and miserable. Just have to keep playing the tape forward, right?
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Welcome back, JustSarah, sorry you are struggling. Keep coming here - we will help you with the drinking part. Alcohol only makes EVERYTHING worse. It is such a short-term "fix", if that? SR and this thread of Moms/Mums has gotten me to 39 days. You can do it!
It is a stormy, rainy (as in pouring) day here. Have so much I wanted to do, outside of the house, but don't feel like dragging my daughter around in this weather. Oh well, plenty to do here, if I could just get motivated. I was just thinking how much I used to love these types of days (excuse to drink ..and cleaning got done), but then I remembered how much of a waste the following day would be all hungover and miserable. Just have to keep playing the tape forward, right?
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
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