Originally Posted by Easyrider

18th day of sobriety. Have eaten healthily today and feel much better for it. Have just done my first session of meditation and feel a deep sense of calm. I recommend it. I've decided to move my quit smoking date a week ahead to coincide with no smoking day, anyone joining me? Looking forward to the extra money and health benefits of course! Watched a full game of football without beer when I would usually knock back at least 6 cans. In summary feeling very positive about the present and the future. Thank you all for your support. Stay sober.

Originally Posted by SistahSober

Classmates...I am 10 days sober and today my anxiety kicked in like it was day 1 of sobriety. I can't seem to keep myself calm. I just keep thinking it is too late and I am going to live like this forever because I drank and tapped into these anxious thoughts and there is no way out. I don't want to drink I just want to feel normal and have normal thoughts without circling back to my life is ending. I'm scared that I've gone crazy. I wish I could find some real inner peace. I want to scream, cry, and run but that's not logical. I hope this gets better. I feel like life is a dream or more like a nightmare at this point! I've tried breathing techniques but when my mind is that clear anxious thoughts seem to pop up a lot easier.

Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee

Thankyou bunny,

I like the US rule i really need to get to know myself without alcohol. I was reading the sober life AA book last night and it said that lots of sober alcoholics started doing activities they never would have dreamed of before. I think i may go to a museum or something, my counselor thinks i should go alone if i have no one who wants to go with me. May feel a little weird going on my own but to start to have a relationship with myself is probably just what i need.
That's a good perception on anxiety, i really like that. It is just fear isn't it. that's probably why i can't concentrate and be in the moment. but fear isn't real. hmmmm valerian tea time haha

Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee

what do you mean 'You knew there was a reason you never got declawed?'

Originally Posted by PreciousKitty

So I could take my claws to the liking of your old school friend Newlife.

Love you

Originally Posted by SistahSober

Thank you to everyone for the kind words. I'm glad to be home from work to try and relax. Anxiety is such a uncomfortable situation that peeks questions about life and reality in me that scare me so much. I have no choice but to remain sober so I can get "me" back. Thanks again. I can do this and sober recovery is a huge help with my process.

Originally Posted by PreciousKitty

Hi Everyone,

I have read through most of todays posts but will prob not have a chance to post a response until tomorrow. Date night. To be honest I would rather be here with you all, but I know I have to balance my life and get away from the computer for a bit.

At least I am not sleeping like crazy anymore! YAY

NEWLIFE - Those old gossiping friends!

That's it! Out come the KITTYCLAWS! I knew there was a reason I never got declawed. Would you like to join me VenusCat?

People can be so mean. Yep, I agree with Dee, just block em!

Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee

I'm just wondering why you quoted the comment to estone Kitty? confused

Originally Posted by Odelle

I have to own up to membership in the self-made doormat club. For 25 years, I did the same thing as you both have described, and in return got the same expectations rather than appreciation from my family. I too am going through a total burnout stage. I have been doing just the bare necessities for a few years now and it is time to shake things up.

PK, I feel your frustration! However, I wonder if you are somewhat in the midst of PAWS. Part of alcohol withdrawal is the emotional rollercoaster ride. Maybe it would help to step back, take a deep breath, and look at how fortunate you are to have a healthy, happy family. On the rare occasions when I would come home for work and dinner was already prepared, I felt like the luckiest person on earth and I was so appreciative!!! Maybe your family is trying to help out a bit, and like with everything new, sometimes change doesn’t happen as fast as we would like. For now, let them fix you dinner and enjoy it! Sending you a big cyber hug.

Originally Posted by JCMalta

Just to report that I'm still here, 18 days sober but today was a very negative day for me. My eczema is at its best again and this morning I slipped and fractured a figer from my right foot, Sometimes I wonder if God is sending me back to drink

Originally Posted by melissa6381

Precious, I have a sort of unique view on life. I believe that we come into this life to learn lessons that evolve our souls. Reading this I felt like this whole situation has been set up by destiny to help you achieve some life lesson whatever that may be. I just have an intuitive sense that you are on the verge of a huge break through moment.

Dee told me the other day to learn to sit in other people's discomfort and now I am recycling that advice back to you. DO NOT feel guilty about wanting to spend your Grandma days in a house by yourself. You've worked hard and now deserve some time to reflect and relax. Some people have their childhoods robbed by their parents but you are having your grandma-hood robbed by your children. Not fair.

"Simply speak your truth, with gentleness and love."

Originally Posted by melissa6381

Bad scenario at work today. We had a menu tasting where the staff tries the new menu items- including two new tequilas and three new wines. My boss was pressuring me for my thoughts in front of the group so I took a tiny sip of one, so tiny I'm not considering it a slip bit it triggered me BIG time. I passed the other alcohol out to my friends around me who know what's up.

I'm alright. I'm off work now and not going to drink but I was not ok. Weak in the knees and just holding the wine glass made me itch for more.

I don't feel comfortable telling my boss about my problems and feel like I successfully adverted the situation because i am sober and will stay that way but wanted to come ad tell you guys about it. Will check back in later.

Originally Posted by NewLifeForMeeee

Checking in on day 10. Starting to realize how damaged and dysfunctional i am, and in a state of anxiety. My counsellor keeps mentioning the anti depressants to me, but i don't want them, i want to be drug free completely.
I am that dysfunctional that i set off to go to a meeting other week & i got to the bus stop to get the bus to another town & realised i didn't actually know where i was going exactly, didn't have the address with me. I still stood for the bus waiting though, i was lucky to see a guy that i recognised from the meetings and he knew where to go.
It gets me down that i don't used my head enough, it's quite hurtful. Why is my head always somewhere else i wonder. and where is it exactly..

Originally Posted by Goose1

Great points Bunny44. Got to give children those responsibilites around the house and hold them to it. This not only helps build internal family relationships but builds lifeskills for later on. Praise them when they do good! Also, we men need to step up take charge. Like leading by example with the chores and support. Makes me want to go home and do a load of wash tonight. Flowers for the Ladies. Lets get it done.

Originally Posted by bunny44

Kitty and Sweeney, my love to you for standing up and doing all you do. Keeping a house is the hardest job on the planet! Maybe you can allow yourself to take a vacation from that for a bit? What would the kids do after a few days of you not taking care of the housekeeping for them? What after a week? I know it would be horrible for you to pass through those rooms and not clean when you see them, but would your restraint help them see their own mess?

My children are still young and I hope the cleanup time we do twice a week (homework done, tv off, time for all to pitch in for a bit) will stick, but I kinda doubt it. If I didn't prod, they wouldn't pick up anything. But my eldest is now at a point when I'm cleaning I can tell him to sort and put in a load of wash and he will. It took some time, but they do learn

What helps them clean is having friends over. I point out the state of the house and that they would be ashamed and embarrassed to have others see it. If they want friends over to play. they have to keep it nice. And I still do a lot, but it gets them on the road to cleaning- Even the 6 year old will put fresh liners in the trash bins.

Basically, you need to accept 1-you deserve a break, 2-you can hold off cleaning everything all the time. Just do what you want. If the house falls apart for a while, it won't be the end of the world. You have to keep you together.

I mean think of where we'd all be if someone washed that petri dish before the penicillin had a chance?

Originally Posted by PreciousKitty

Ok, so this is embarrasing, but I feel the need to out it out there.

So the other day after reading, and writing some posts here I started to feel like no one was really responding to me and I began to feel out of place. Done that a few times in life. s

I really wasn't saying a lot and I was obviously more focused on me than you. Done that one way too many times in life too

It feels so good to be a part of something, to have support, and to feel that i can actually help another as well. Thanks everyone!

I don't know exactly what my point is. I think I am just rambling. Maybe just another reminder that our feelings/thoughts come and go.

To think I could have given in to my brief self pity party and left SR. OMG! I love it here. You are all so inspiring, kind and generous.