Codependency and Beyond - Part 25
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Lily)) - Hope you are feeling better, good for you on self care!
((Rita)) - Oh, I do love the senior center
I'm working a dinner, tomorrow night. The local fire dept. is going to have their annual dinner there, so I said "me and a room full of firemen? Oh, I will be there!!"
I sent my followup letter on the job, today, then ran into one of the volunteers who also works for this company at the center. She said the background check takes "forever" but she had mentioned me to the owner, yesterday, and he has several people he wants me to work with, so sounds good! Amazing how I heard this news right after I had let go of the outcome
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
((Rita)) - Oh, I do love the senior center
I'm working a dinner, tomorrow night. The local fire dept. is going to have their annual dinner there, so I said "me and a room full of firemen? Oh, I will be there!!"I sent my followup letter on the job, today, then ran into one of the volunteers who also works for this company at the center. She said the background check takes "forever" but she had mentioned me to the owner, yesterday, and he has several people he wants me to work with, so sounds good! Amazing how I heard this news right after I had let go of the outcome
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Evening all,
I thought I had better check in before you sent out the codie patrol after me.
Not a whole lot going on with me other than having some really major car troubles. Every time it rains the floor on my drivers side in the front and back are getting these huge puddles. A friend checked it out today for a few hours and couldn't find the problem. A few different times he was like, oh here is the problem only to say oops that's not it.
And of course it is pouring down rain right now and well in this area it is the rainy season. I am just afraid of mold setting in. I have been praying about it and I don't want to say God is not working cause he did put a friend in my life right out of the blue so that is a miracle in itself because taking it to a garage would cost more money than I have. He is going to get together with me again on Sunday. I just spent about an hour on the Internet researching possible reasons on why I have a flood inside my car.
Wow Amy it sure is taking a long time for that background to come back I heard it can take about 10 days how long has it been?
Okay well its about 12:37am time for me to hit the hay. Night everyone.
I thought I had better check in before you sent out the codie patrol after me.
Not a whole lot going on with me other than having some really major car troubles. Every time it rains the floor on my drivers side in the front and back are getting these huge puddles. A friend checked it out today for a few hours and couldn't find the problem. A few different times he was like, oh here is the problem only to say oops that's not it.
And of course it is pouring down rain right now and well in this area it is the rainy season. I am just afraid of mold setting in. I have been praying about it and I don't want to say God is not working cause he did put a friend in my life right out of the blue so that is a miracle in itself because taking it to a garage would cost more money than I have. He is going to get together with me again on Sunday. I just spent about an hour on the Internet researching possible reasons on why I have a flood inside my car.Wow Amy it sure is taking a long time for that background to come back I heard it can take about 10 days how long has it been?
Okay well its about 12:37am time for me to hit the hay. Night everyone.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Saturday, November 17, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Grief and Action
Trust in God and do something.
—Mary Lyon
It's important to let ourselves grieve as a passage between yesterday and tomorrow. But we do not have to be controlled unduly by our grief, or our pain.
There are times when we have grieved, surrendered to the heaviness, tiredness, and weariness of a circumstance long enough. It becomes time to break out. It comes time to take action.
We will know when it's time to break the routine of grieving. There will be signs within and around us. We will become tired of the heaviness. An idea will occur; an opportunity will present itself. We may think: No. Too much effort... Do it anyway. Try something. Reach out. Stretch. Do something unusual, something different, and something special.
A new activity may help trigger the transformation process. Stay up two hours later than usual! Make an appointment to do something for yourself that is different from what you usually do. Visit someone you haven't seen in years. Do something to encourage and help the new energy coming your way.
We may not feel like breaking out of grief. It may feel safer, easier, to remain in our cocoon. Begin pushing out anyway.
Test the walls of your cocoon. Push. Push a little harder. It may be time to emerge.
Today, I will trust God and the process, but I will also take action to help myself feel better.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Grief and Action
Trust in God and do something.
—Mary Lyon
It's important to let ourselves grieve as a passage between yesterday and tomorrow. But we do not have to be controlled unduly by our grief, or our pain.
There are times when we have grieved, surrendered to the heaviness, tiredness, and weariness of a circumstance long enough. It becomes time to break out. It comes time to take action.
We will know when it's time to break the routine of grieving. There will be signs within and around us. We will become tired of the heaviness. An idea will occur; an opportunity will present itself. We may think: No. Too much effort... Do it anyway. Try something. Reach out. Stretch. Do something unusual, something different, and something special.
A new activity may help trigger the transformation process. Stay up two hours later than usual! Make an appointment to do something for yourself that is different from what you usually do. Visit someone you haven't seen in years. Do something to encourage and help the new energy coming your way.
We may not feel like breaking out of grief. It may feel safer, easier, to remain in our cocoon. Begin pushing out anyway.
Test the walls of your cocoon. Push. Push a little harder. It may be time to emerge.
Today, I will trust God and the process, but I will also take action to help myself feel better.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
I have been grieving lately. This morning I understand what it is and I accept the feelings. I still need time to sit with the feelings. To work through them. But, I know I will eventually break through and be my usual happy self again. I am working my program right now.
Just for today, I will have a program. I may not work it perfectly, but I will have it.
Just for today, I will have a program. I may not work it perfectly, but I will have it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Newby)) - Sorry to hear about your car problems, especially with all the RAIN you guys get! Maybe see if the rubber seals around the window are good? I mention that because the one in my trunk needs replacing and it rains in my trunk
We don't get nearly the rain you do, though.
((Lily)) - Good for you on recognizing what you're feeling and taking care of yourself as you walk through the feelings.
Sm finally came home, last night, didn't speak to me for HOURS? She did finally come in and try to get the dog to come out, but Tinker wanted no part of it...kept looking at me, like "you're not gonna LEAVE, are you?!?!"
Sm came in, later, as I was still awake and offered me some phenergan which would help me sleep. I declined. As much as I'd love to just take something and sleep, I will probably have a drug screen coming up and I don't want anything in my system that I don't have an Rx for.
She was zonked out (went to get her medicine as soon as she got home) and it annoyed me. It's like the elephant in the room thing - she does what she does, dad is in denial and I want to shake both of them. I must admit, I do get jealous, at times, that she can just zone out. However, my recovery holds strong and I know I don't want to go back to that in my life.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
We don't get nearly the rain you do, though.((Lily)) - Good for you on recognizing what you're feeling and taking care of yourself as you walk through the feelings.
Sm finally came home, last night, didn't speak to me for HOURS? She did finally come in and try to get the dog to come out, but Tinker wanted no part of it...kept looking at me, like "you're not gonna LEAVE, are you?!?!"
Sm came in, later, as I was still awake and offered me some phenergan which would help me sleep. I declined. As much as I'd love to just take something and sleep, I will probably have a drug screen coming up and I don't want anything in my system that I don't have an Rx for.
She was zonked out (went to get her medicine as soon as she got home) and it annoyed me. It's like the elephant in the room thing - she does what she does, dad is in denial and I want to shake both of them. I must admit, I do get jealous, at times, that she can just zone out. However, my recovery holds strong and I know I don't want to go back to that in my life.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
It happens in three's
Evening everyone,
Look at the time I am actually posting at a normal time before 8pm wow.
Mike my friend called and we are going to get together after church tomorrow and have round 2 with the car.
Today I was so excited cause I was going to FedEx to pick up my Nook Tablet I bought on e bay. Well I get there and I opened it, and it was the wrong one. I ordered and paid for a Nook Tablet 16GB and they sent me a 8GB, I was so bummed. Anyway I emailed the seller and told him the problem and I also said I didn't think it was fair for me to eat the cost of shipping it back for a mistake they clearly made. Well this was several hours ago and I haven't heard a thing. I am hoping it is just because it is the weekend? There was also a # on the box and I called it way in Fla and of course they are only open M-F
I had a feeling e bay may not be such a great choice, but I went ahead anyway
So you know how they say things happen in three's, well the wrong nook, my car, and I have my bladder infection back for the 3rd time in just a few months
The thing is these are really upgraded problems compared to the ones I used to have in my old using days, but that doesn't mean I still don't get a little annoyed by it.
Amy I was thinking about your comment about how sometimes you get a little jealous over sm, and her getting to take stuff to zone out. I know that feeling all to well. I used to go to the night clubs cause I love to dance, but I would get around all these people who looked like they were having a grand old time having cocktails, and I was so envious of them. The thing is though it may have just appeared that way from the outside, but who knows what is going on internally? Maybe some of them were living in a nightmare only they knew about? Anyway I just thought about that, so I thought I would share it. How is the precious baby doing?
Defoflove thanks for doing the postings it is the highlight of my day when I come on here and read them.
Hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Look at the time I am actually posting at a normal time before 8pm wow.
Mike my friend called and we are going to get together after church tomorrow and have round 2 with the car.
Today I was so excited cause I was going to FedEx to pick up my Nook Tablet I bought on e bay. Well I get there and I opened it, and it was the wrong one. I ordered and paid for a Nook Tablet 16GB and they sent me a 8GB, I was so bummed. Anyway I emailed the seller and told him the problem and I also said I didn't think it was fair for me to eat the cost of shipping it back for a mistake they clearly made. Well this was several hours ago and I haven't heard a thing. I am hoping it is just because it is the weekend? There was also a # on the box and I called it way in Fla and of course they are only open M-F
I had a feeling e bay may not be such a great choice, but I went ahead anyway
So you know how they say things happen in three's, well the wrong nook, my car, and I have my bladder infection back for the 3rd time in just a few months
The thing is these are really upgraded problems compared to the ones I used to have in my old using days, but that doesn't mean I still don't get a little annoyed by it.
Amy I was thinking about your comment about how sometimes you get a little jealous over sm, and her getting to take stuff to zone out. I know that feeling all to well. I used to go to the night clubs cause I love to dance, but I would get around all these people who looked like they were having a grand old time having cocktails, and I was so envious of them. The thing is though it may have just appeared that way from the outside, but who knows what is going on internally? Maybe some of them were living in a nightmare only they knew about? Anyway I just thought about that, so I thought I would share it. How is the precious baby doing?
Defoflove thanks for doing the postings it is the highlight of my day when I come on here and read them.
Hope everyone has a peaceful night.
Last edited by newby1961; 11-17-2012 at 07:43 PM. Reason: Punctuation
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Newby)) - Hope you get the car and the Nook straightened out. I have to admit, I've only bought 2 things from e-bay but both times, I got what I ordered and didn't have a problem.
You are right about what is really going on in people's lives. I KNOW sm is pretty miserable, she just has that mindset...will worry if she has nothing to worry about.
Haven't seen the baby this week. Sm was there most of the week. Though I've been down there with her, before, I like it better when it's just me and the bratkins. Sm behaves when she's down there, but came home and was zonked in no time.
Dad took her and the bratkins out to dinner, I worked a dinner at the sr. center with the firemen. I had a great time, ate AND got a plate to bring home and also brought 2 pieces of cake for dad/sm. I asked her if they had a good time and she seemed quite irritable but said "yeah" so I'm not even going to ask.
At least, last night, I didn't have to hide her cigarettes! Just woke her up (LOUDLY) to tell her that her salad bowl in her lap was about to hit the floor and I thought she needed to go to bed!
BTW, I am DONE with school in one month from tomorrow!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
You are right about what is really going on in people's lives. I KNOW sm is pretty miserable, she just has that mindset...will worry if she has nothing to worry about.
Haven't seen the baby this week. Sm was there most of the week. Though I've been down there with her, before, I like it better when it's just me and the bratkins. Sm behaves when she's down there, but came home and was zonked in no time.
Dad took her and the bratkins out to dinner, I worked a dinner at the sr. center with the firemen. I had a great time, ate AND got a plate to bring home and also brought 2 pieces of cake for dad/sm. I asked her if they had a good time and she seemed quite irritable but said "yeah" so I'm not even going to ask.
At least, last night, I didn't have to hide her cigarettes! Just woke her up (LOUDLY) to tell her that her salad bowl in her lap was about to hit the floor and I thought she needed to go to bed!
BTW, I am DONE with school in one month from tomorrow!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Sunday, November 18, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Allowing Ourselves to be Nurtured
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Allowing Ourselves to be Nurtured
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Newby 
I hope the nook and car troubles are resolved soon. What a pain in the butt!
Amy I'll say a prayer for SM. Her behavior frightens me. She just seems very unsafe with the dozing off all the time. Still got my hope up for that job. I think it's still a strong possibility that you got it.
Very lovely reading this Sunday. I will reach out to my friends. I need them. I am hoping to get someone to go to the movies with me on Wednesday. I think that will be nice. I am feeling more like myself.
I figured out why I was falling apart. I have been really stressing out and not taking care of myself because I put ALL of my time and energy into school and work. Any time I do that, I fall apart. I need to go back to the basics.
I feel like I have not really worked that 3rd step. I really need to turn my will and life over to the care of a higher power. Especially when it comes to school and when it comes to my love life. I need to trust that my HP will guide me and take care of me.
Since I need help turning it over...I turned to my brothers and ppl I know with a strong spirituality who really did turn their lives and will over to God. I prayed on the phone with my brother and a mentor who really loves me. I have also made the decision to go to Bible Study with my brother on Tuesday. And I'm changing my schedule at work so I can go to church.
I am not the biggest fan of Christianity but I believe that is my ego and self will at work. God is God and I will do whatever I can to get closer to Him. So if that means church and bible study, I'll do it. If its a Buddhist temple, I will do it. If its a mosque, I will go it. Whatever it takes to fully let go and let God, I am in.
Love,
Lily
I hope the nook and car troubles are resolved soon. What a pain in the butt! Amy
I'll say a prayer for SM. Her behavior frightens me. She just seems very unsafe with the dozing off all the time. Still got my hope up for that job. I think it's still a strong possibility that you got it. Very lovely reading this Sunday. I will reach out to my friends. I need them. I am hoping to get someone to go to the movies with me on Wednesday. I think that will be nice. I am feeling more like myself.
I figured out why I was falling apart. I have been really stressing out and not taking care of myself because I put ALL of my time and energy into school and work. Any time I do that, I fall apart. I need to go back to the basics.
I feel like I have not really worked that 3rd step. I really need to turn my will and life over to the care of a higher power. Especially when it comes to school and when it comes to my love life. I need to trust that my HP will guide me and take care of me.
Since I need help turning it over...I turned to my brothers and ppl I know with a strong spirituality who really did turn their lives and will over to God. I prayed on the phone with my brother and a mentor who really loves me. I have also made the decision to go to Bible Study with my brother on Tuesday. And I'm changing my schedule at work so I can go to church.
I am not the biggest fan of Christianity but I believe that is my ego and self will at work. God is God and I will do whatever I can to get closer to Him. So if that means church and bible study, I'll do it. If its a Buddhist temple, I will do it. If its a mosque, I will go it. Whatever it takes to fully let go and let God, I am in.
Love,
Lily
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Monday, November 19, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Our Feelings
Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!
In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.
We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.
We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.
We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we're in a love relationship.
We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.
Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper - an old sadness or frustration.
Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.
We don't have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don't have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.
It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.
Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Our Feelings
Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!
In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.
We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.
We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.
We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we're in a love relationship.
We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.
Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper - an old sadness or frustration.
Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.
We don't have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don't have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.
It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.
Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Good Morning all ~
I had a fabulous weekend ~ it is beautiful weather here in Louisiana ~ cool mornings & nights - with Sunny low 70's temps days ~
Been doing some cooking - preparing for Thanksgiving & family reunion on Mr. Pink's side for the wkend after thanksgiving ~
Amy - congrats that you have done so well with school & LUNCH with FIREMEN - wahooo - don't ya know all our Pennies Crew would be envious!! ha ha ha
Please remember progress not perfection in dealing with SM - try to give her the respect, love and dignity to walk her own path - just as you would any other person - I know it's difficult when it's family - I always have to remind myself - how would I speak to someone in a meeting struggling with the disease? - that's how I need to treat my family -
Lily - your growth in your recovery is shinning thru - your ability to name your feelings is such a blessing. Your HP is revealing to you what you need and you are seeking answers ~ I pray whatever path it leads - that journey brings you comfort and spiritual healing!
Newby ~ car troubles - ugh - not fun at all!! I pray that whatever the issue be - it is easily repaired!!! Also hope you are able to get the order straightened out - I am truly impressed - I'm not sure I would be able to know an 8 from a 16 ???? bwah ha ha ha - not that much of a techie????
ok - going to start working my Thanksgiving week post in the Friends & family forum - gotta share my e, s, & h about my journey - this is always a special week for me - this is the week that changed my life ~
Feel like it's part of my recovery to share it ~
but it takes me a while to word it - if you get a chance stop by the F & F forum & read it
PINK HUGS,
Rita
I had a fabulous weekend ~ it is beautiful weather here in Louisiana ~ cool mornings & nights - with Sunny low 70's temps days ~
Been doing some cooking - preparing for Thanksgiving & family reunion on Mr. Pink's side for the wkend after thanksgiving ~
Amy - congrats that you have done so well with school & LUNCH with FIREMEN - wahooo - don't ya know all our Pennies Crew would be envious!! ha ha ha
Please remember progress not perfection in dealing with SM - try to give her the respect, love and dignity to walk her own path - just as you would any other person - I know it's difficult when it's family - I always have to remind myself - how would I speak to someone in a meeting struggling with the disease? - that's how I need to treat my family -
Lily - your growth in your recovery is shinning thru - your ability to name your feelings is such a blessing. Your HP is revealing to you what you need and you are seeking answers ~ I pray whatever path it leads - that journey brings you comfort and spiritual healing!
Newby ~ car troubles - ugh - not fun at all!! I pray that whatever the issue be - it is easily repaired!!! Also hope you are able to get the order straightened out - I am truly impressed - I'm not sure I would be able to know an 8 from a 16 ???? bwah ha ha ha - not that much of a techie????
ok - going to start working my Thanksgiving week post in the Friends & family forum - gotta share my e, s, & h about my journey - this is always a special week for me - this is the week that changed my life ~
Feel like it's part of my recovery to share it ~
but it takes me a while to word it - if you get a chance stop by the F & F forum & read it
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
MrsPink, thank you so much for your encouraging words. It means a lot to me. I hope you have a lovely week prepaying for and enjoying the holiday and family reunion.
Monday's reading made me feel a bit lighter. My feelings are raw and open and I am seriously facing the reality of my abandonment and neglect issues. The pain is deep. I need to feel it without judging and take it easy on myself. I know with my HP and recovery program, I am going to be just fine.
Monday's reading made me feel a bit lighter. My feelings are raw and open and I am seriously facing the reality of my abandonment and neglect issues. The pain is deep. I need to feel it without judging and take it easy on myself. I know with my HP and recovery program, I am going to be just fine.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Evening everyone,
Amy wow graduation in another month that is so very cool. I wish I lived closer I would love to see you graduate so I will be there in spirit.
Ms Pink the holidays sound wonderful around your house. My Dad and sister, brother and his wife will be getting together and going out to a fancy restaurant. Me since I will be in WA I will probably do the recovery thing for the day and then if I have any money left over after fixing my car I will hit black Friday.
Lily it is such a painful process to walk through those feelings especially the abandonment ones, but it is so worth it when you get to the other side. So hang in there and be good to yourself because you are so worth it.
Hope everyone else is doing well and making it through the holidays relatively stress free?
Time to do my postings before I hit the hay. Night all.
Amy wow graduation in another month that is so very cool. I wish I lived closer I would love to see you graduate so I will be there in spirit.
Ms Pink the holidays sound wonderful around your house. My Dad and sister, brother and his wife will be getting together and going out to a fancy restaurant. Me since I will be in WA I will probably do the recovery thing for the day and then if I have any money left over after fixing my car I will hit black Friday.
Lily it is such a painful process to walk through those feelings especially the abandonment ones, but it is so worth it when you get to the other side. So hang in there and be good to yourself because you are so worth it.
Hope everyone else is doing well and making it through the holidays relatively stress free?
Time to do my postings before I hit the hay. Night all.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Wants and Needs
So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can't have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.
Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and needs.
The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.
Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!
Listen. Trust. Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need. Write it down. Affirm it mentally. Pray about it. Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.
The results may be better than you think.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, and then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Wants and Needs
So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can't have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.
Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and needs.
The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.
Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!
Listen. Trust. Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need. Write it down. Affirm it mentally. Pray about it. Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.
The results may be better than you think.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, and then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
Thank you Newby! It gets better every day.
Beautiful and appropriate reading this morning! I have definitely been in martyr mode lately. Telling myself I'll never get married or have children. Thinking that I'll struggle forever. My sponsor told me last night to take the time to really think about what I want out of life. To write it down and dare to dream about it and want it.
Beautiful and appropriate reading this morning! I have definitely been in martyr mode lately. Telling myself I'll never get married or have children. Thinking that I'll struggle forever. My sponsor told me last night to take the time to really think about what I want out of life. To write it down and dare to dream about it and want it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Today is RAD's 25th birthday! I'll start baking her cake after I post. Good thing I'm now allowed to use my arm, but I can't lift more than 2lbs and lift it higher than my shoulder. So, since I'm so short, I'll use a step stool to ice it LOL
She's been a big help to me. She's driven the 40 round trip miles to come get me, and take me shopping when I've asked. I spooked her at first, though. No one in my family is used to me being so dependent.
I have a codie recovery issue to share --
I have a single friend who is atheist. I've always wanted to invite her for Thanksgiving but something held me back. She's whined on facebook and twitter before, about having nowhere to go. I almost caved this year but then I reread her twitter postings, where she bashes religion overall and especially a belief in a supreme being.
We hold hands and pray at dinner. I wouldn't care if she didn't join us in prayer, but I won't have someone at my table, knowing full well they are silently mocking us.
She's been a big help to me. She's driven the 40 round trip miles to come get me, and take me shopping when I've asked. I spooked her at first, though. No one in my family is used to me being so dependent.
I have a codie recovery issue to share --
I have a single friend who is atheist. I've always wanted to invite her for Thanksgiving but something held me back. She's whined on facebook and twitter before, about having nowhere to go. I almost caved this year but then I reread her twitter postings, where she bashes religion overall and especially a belief in a supreme being.
We hold hands and pray at dinner. I wouldn't care if she didn't join us in prayer, but I won't have someone at my table, knowing full well they are silently mocking us.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Chino)) - Happy Birthday to ((RAD))! I'm sure your family WAS a bit thrown off at you being dependent I wouldn't invite someone to dinner, either, if they were going to mock my beliefs.
Well, it's official that I did NOT get that job. It wasn't the background check, it was the credit check. I'd told them it was not going to be good, especially since I have no income to pay the bills.
I'm frustrated, beyond belief, even though I prayed to be able to handle the decision..whatever it was. I'm just going to have a pity party then get over it. The other companies I applied for, in the same line of work, also do a credit check so I just feel screwed
Doesn't help that dad is also frustrated, as he's had no calls for work and this means I still can't contribute around here.
This, too, shall pass. I know it, but I think I'll still have a good cry
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I wouldn't invite someone to dinner, either, if they were going to mock my beliefs.Well, it's official that I did NOT get that job. It wasn't the background check, it was the credit check. I'd told them it was not going to be good, especially since I have no income to pay the bills.
I'm frustrated, beyond belief, even though I prayed to be able to handle the decision..whatever it was. I'm just going to have a pity party then get over it. The other companies I applied for, in the same line of work, also do a credit check so I just feel screwed
Doesn't help that dad is also frustrated, as he's had no calls for work and this means I still can't contribute around here.
This, too, shall pass. I know it, but I think I'll still have a good cry
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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