One Year and Over Club Part 5
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
What sort of tablet and what does it cure?
Please let this post or I may just give up.............. I tried so many times again last night to post.......and NADA!!!!
Now I have nothign of worth to add..........
Please let this post or I may just give up.............. I tried so many times again last night to post.......and NADA!!!!
Now I have nothign of worth to add..........
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Had a 'spiritual' experience Saturday night. Before heading out to a meeting (which is held at a hospital) my handicapped mother called & said she & dad were going to drive down on Monday to visit her best friend from high school at the hospital where I was going that night. So after the meeting, I told my friend to wait for me as I was going to try & visit my Moms friend. I talked my way into visit, & she had 2 cousins there but she herself was pretty much knocked out (stage 4 lung cancer)--but her arms & legs were very spastic. Cousins said she had a rough day--hard time breathing. So I asked if I could just pray for her for a few minutes and did so. My mom's friend died hours after my visit & I was glad I got to 'pay my respects' as my mother will not come down now. It also was a wake up call for me to quit smoking...not a heavy smoker (pack a week)--but now that I am sober, this is the next step for me. This was a game changing experience for me...
In my Own Little World
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
What a day....
I get a "random" friend request from a guy my mom knows from an old job. She says accept him he still has recruiting contacts. This morning he messages me and says "Wow, you're beautiful like your mom. I see you live in (City). I work in (another city...like 2 miles away). Where is (my place of employment)?" Me: "Umm..err.. (City name)...?" Him: "Oh my god! Just up the street. Let's have lunch together, please. I have can take lunch from 11:30 to 1:30. I really would love to meet you." Me: "Umm...Ok. Question, though. Do you always stalk facebook friends looking for potential blind dates? Sorry, but I'm really direct." Him: "HOLY COW. No. LOL. You are direct."
Then, I just started kind of talking to ANOTHER guy up in Vermont this weekend as well that we've known each other since...August now? Like he finally expressed a little interest this past weekend...really good guy, etc.
Then, I still have this "*****" that I don't want to go out on a date with bothering the living crap out of me for a date....
Oh...why is it that ALWAYS you never have anything for months and months....then like 5 people show up at the same time? Always.
At least this time....unlike previous times.....I'm sober and can decide level headedly about things, down the line if anything gets to that point. Well minus that thing called human emotion, which is whacky enough in and of itself.
YAY FOR FEELING EMOTIONS!!!!!
I hope everyone has a great day and had a wonderful weekend.
Manz dear....
If all else fails, throw the PC against the wall and start over.
Bryan...that is extremely powerful. It's amazing the things that happen and when they happen to us. At least she's at peace now and no longer in the amazing pain I am sure she was in. I am very sorry for your family and hers. They will be in my thoughts.
I have been trying to go back through emails I had from my friend Mike to glean beautiful veins of gold and other precious elements that he sent me....it still hurts so much and I do miss him terribly. I know that one day, I will be able to and I will receive comfort from his words but for now, it just reminds me at how valuable he was and how much of a hole is left without him there. With no one to voice all of these thoughts and concerns and fears and ideas that swarm around in my head, I can tell I am going back into old patterns of stuffing things away. To combat that, I purchased a journal to hopefully scribble things down and get them out of me instead of internalizing them as I've done the last 20 some odd years.
You know, Bryan, when I quit smoking is about the time my drinking really escalated. I really traded one addiction for another. Just a random thought that occurred to me.
I wish you luck in quitting. Fortunately at a pack a week, it won't be as hard, but as all of us know...
Good luck
.
Have a great day everyone!
I get a "random" friend request from a guy my mom knows from an old job. She says accept him he still has recruiting contacts. This morning he messages me and says "Wow, you're beautiful like your mom. I see you live in (City). I work in (another city...like 2 miles away). Where is (my place of employment)?" Me: "Umm..err.. (City name)...?" Him: "Oh my god! Just up the street. Let's have lunch together, please. I have can take lunch from 11:30 to 1:30. I really would love to meet you." Me: "Umm...Ok. Question, though. Do you always stalk facebook friends looking for potential blind dates? Sorry, but I'm really direct." Him: "HOLY COW. No. LOL. You are direct."
Then, I just started kind of talking to ANOTHER guy up in Vermont this weekend as well that we've known each other since...August now? Like he finally expressed a little interest this past weekend...really good guy, etc.
Then, I still have this "*****" that I don't want to go out on a date with bothering the living crap out of me for a date....
Oh...why is it that ALWAYS you never have anything for months and months....then like 5 people show up at the same time? Always.
At least this time....unlike previous times.....I'm sober and can decide level headedly about things, down the line if anything gets to that point. Well minus that thing called human emotion, which is whacky enough in and of itself.
YAY FOR FEELING EMOTIONS!!!!!
I hope everyone has a great day and had a wonderful weekend.
Manz dear....
If all else fails, throw the PC against the wall and start over.
Bryan...that is extremely powerful. It's amazing the things that happen and when they happen to us. At least she's at peace now and no longer in the amazing pain I am sure she was in. I am very sorry for your family and hers. They will be in my thoughts.
I have been trying to go back through emails I had from my friend Mike to glean beautiful veins of gold and other precious elements that he sent me....it still hurts so much and I do miss him terribly. I know that one day, I will be able to and I will receive comfort from his words but for now, it just reminds me at how valuable he was and how much of a hole is left without him there. With no one to voice all of these thoughts and concerns and fears and ideas that swarm around in my head, I can tell I am going back into old patterns of stuffing things away. To combat that, I purchased a journal to hopefully scribble things down and get them out of me instead of internalizing them as I've done the last 20 some odd years.
You know, Bryan, when I quit smoking is about the time my drinking really escalated. I really traded one addiction for another. Just a random thought that occurred to me.
I wish you luck in quitting. Fortunately at a pack a week, it won't be as hard, but as all of us know...
Good luck
. Have a great day everyone!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Bryan,
It takes something more than another saying so to quit. I would say your feeling of immortality was dashed by reality that night. I smoked 3 packs a day as a chain smoker for most of my life. When I went into the VA hospital for a weeks detox medically supervised, I figured why waste a perfectly good detox on only one of my three DOCs. So I quit smoking and alcohol and started the nicotine patches in detox. So it has been 19 months or a bit more for both alcohol and smoking out of my system. I am doing fine without my two crutches and intend to continue my addiction to caffeine orally in a coffee suspension. None of that low test stuff for me! I am so glad I did!
LB I am so glad I don't have to do that thing called dating! Good luck with your guys. I lucked out and snagged my love of my life and we have stuck it out for these many years. Marriage, like sobriety, is not for the faint of heart!
Monday brings my new week with all of its possibilities. I hope we all make good use of the hours. I'll do my best here.
It takes something more than another saying so to quit. I would say your feeling of immortality was dashed by reality that night. I smoked 3 packs a day as a chain smoker for most of my life. When I went into the VA hospital for a weeks detox medically supervised, I figured why waste a perfectly good detox on only one of my three DOCs. So I quit smoking and alcohol and started the nicotine patches in detox. So it has been 19 months or a bit more for both alcohol and smoking out of my system. I am doing fine without my two crutches and intend to continue my addiction to caffeine orally in a coffee suspension. None of that low test stuff for me! I am so glad I did!
LB I am so glad I don't have to do that thing called dating! Good luck with your guys. I lucked out and snagged my love of my life and we have stuck it out for these many years. Marriage, like sobriety, is not for the faint of heart!
Monday brings my new week with all of its possibilities. I hope we all make good use of the hours. I'll do my best here.
In my Own Little World
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
Itchy, I finished my divorce a year ago this month. We were separated for nearly 2 years before the divorce was final. Looking back on it, our marriage deteriorated rapidly because we were both alcoholics madly enabling each other. The fighting, the hatred towards each other, the avoiding of fixing anything, avoiding of each other...I know now that nearly all of it was because of the progression of our diseases. The first year we were separated my drinking spiraled rapidly out of control. I knew I had to get it together or it would destroy me. It already destroyed my marriage and I was finally being honest with myself. That was the first step.
Talking to him he would always say "I'm finally getting my drinking under control. Only a couple a night a couple nights a week."
I would go over to pick something up (a DVD, article of clothing, whatever) or visit the animals and there would be empty vodka bottles, empty beer cans, empty cases, empty beer bottles, everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. It was utter filth. I'd look around and not say anything, of course a look is enough even though I tried my hardest not to have "that look". Always it was "ya, I had one of the guys over last night. We got a little carried away sorry." I'd always say, "Wow, one night. Impressive." Him: "Ya, I thought so too!" And he'd be so proud.
This would happen every time I went over.
I knew nothing had changed, but that his drinking had progressed beyond what it was.
I found out that his mother had quit talking to him because his drinking was so bad and it reminded her of his father.
We were talking of reconciliation and I knew that for my sobriety, my sanity, myself, I couldn't go back to that environment. It would destroy me.
So, even though he was all I had known since age 16 when we started dating, and I had moved in with him the day after I graduated high school (literally the day after I walked), I drew the line.
It's been one hell of a year for exploration of the self. I will tell you that.
Dating....I freaking...hate...it. I despise it. You don't know if you're getting what they're presenting. 99% of the time you're not. It's scary. I finally love myself enough though that...I think.
It's just....remembering...how...to...date.
Ok, I better actually do some work. Two posts in one day....I'm betting I'll end up doing a third somewhere on the forums. Lol.
Talking to him he would always say "I'm finally getting my drinking under control. Only a couple a night a couple nights a week."
I would go over to pick something up (a DVD, article of clothing, whatever) or visit the animals and there would be empty vodka bottles, empty beer cans, empty cases, empty beer bottles, everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. It was utter filth. I'd look around and not say anything, of course a look is enough even though I tried my hardest not to have "that look". Always it was "ya, I had one of the guys over last night. We got a little carried away sorry." I'd always say, "Wow, one night. Impressive." Him: "Ya, I thought so too!" And he'd be so proud.
This would happen every time I went over.
I knew nothing had changed, but that his drinking had progressed beyond what it was.
I found out that his mother had quit talking to him because his drinking was so bad and it reminded her of his father.
We were talking of reconciliation and I knew that for my sobriety, my sanity, myself, I couldn't go back to that environment. It would destroy me.
So, even though he was all I had known since age 16 when we started dating, and I had moved in with him the day after I graduated high school (literally the day after I walked), I drew the line.
It's been one hell of a year for exploration of the self. I will tell you that.
Dating....I freaking...hate...it. I despise it. You don't know if you're getting what they're presenting. 99% of the time you're not. It's scary. I finally love myself enough though that...I think.
It's just....remembering...how...to...date.
Ok, I better actually do some work. Two posts in one day....I'm betting I'll end up doing a third somewhere on the forums. Lol.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I just had some insanely good peach yogurt. Why did I ever waste my time drinking when I could have been enjoying insanely good yogurt?
LB, that's sure the truth. And the self is the biggest, wildest frontier of them all. Have fun on the dates. I think it's good to find yourself on unfamiliar ground. It means you're moving forward.
It's been one hell of a year for exploration of the self.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
Oh crumbs Lotus...dating????? Geez it really is a foreign and frightening thing huh. I can relate!!!! Good luck there sister. :-)
Life is busy as always, I had my appraisal/review at work today. YUK! My team leader who is so bloody inconsistent in the way he acts towards people, under the area for future improvments or goals for me said "Maintain you professionalism when at work, and keep you emotion in check". Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I remained professional and said "Yes I agree with that"....but inside I was saying........
"Yes sure you d!@#head, I will keep my emotions in check because right now if I didnt I would tell you to !@#& #$% and #$%^& yourself!"
Life is busy as always, I had my appraisal/review at work today. YUK! My team leader who is so bloody inconsistent in the way he acts towards people, under the area for future improvments or goals for me said "Maintain you professionalism when at work, and keep you emotion in check". Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I remained professional and said "Yes I agree with that"....but inside I was saying........
"Yes sure you d!@#head, I will keep my emotions in check because right now if I didnt I would tell you to !@#& #$% and #$%^& yourself!"
Journey of Recovery
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 621
Bryan, my condolences to you and your family on the loss of your friend. I went through something very similar 5 years ago when my father-in-law was dying of cancer of the lungs. I knew I did not want to go that way and quit smoking. He passed 3 months later. I continued to drink for 2 years after that. How I did that without smoking I do not know. That is wonderful that you could pray for her. Good luck on quitting smoking. You can do it!
Good luck on dating LB if you choose to do it.
LOL @ Manz!!!!
Good luck on dating LB if you choose to do it.
LOL @ Manz!!!!
In my Own Little World
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 368
LOL Manz. Sounds like your boss and mine need to get together.
I had a coworker that was fired a couple of years back.
She used to say our boss had bipolar disorder because his moods...ugh.
Of course I was an insensitive nit who didn't give a crap about anyone or think about anyone else and was completely self absorbed and thought it was kind of funny....but was still like, "hmm...isn't that a bit mean towards people who truly do have a disease because he is way worse than them."
As for the dating....and exploring yourself and everything else....
It's why I jumped all over the quote and printed it out in big huge letters on my wall
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
I forget now if it was someone here who put that quote by e.e. cummings up or someone on my bfb board....but man is it so true where some of us are right now.
My book club last night!
OH MY GOD!
It's called the "Cincinnati Dark and Storm Night Club" (I don't care about Cincinnati - go ahead and try and find me - there's 3.5 million other people here lol). It was a blast! As per usual, I didn't talk much. I also didn't talk much because while the book was great and the depth was "ok" and the story line was rich and all....to me...it read more like a novella. I am more of a fan of George Martin, Anne Rice, heck even Tolkein. This book had ~70,000 words (per the author who was there last night). If I really wanted to I could have sat and read it in an evening. Also...since I have my memory problems, if there's not like 4 pages devoted to ONE thing beating it to death...I kind of don't remember it a week later. So while I remember the general story and some more poignant moments in the book and some of the specifics....there were parts I was like umm...I don't remember this but I devoured the book (like I do all books).
Besides all that, though, the dynamic of the club was great. Only 8 people or so, 2 other young people, 3 middle aged, 3 older people so a good mix. Great dialogue. Great location. I am very much looking forward to the next one!!!
Bonus: It was our very first "inaugural" meeting right? As we were leaving, a HUGE thunderstorm had just rushed through the area, so these low moving clouds were coming through and there was big lightning/thunder off in the distance with some decent wind gusts. It was like OH MY GOD ITS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT HOW PERFECT.
Have a good day all.
I had a coworker that was fired a couple of years back.
She used to say our boss had bipolar disorder because his moods...ugh.
Of course I was an insensitive nit who didn't give a crap about anyone or think about anyone else and was completely self absorbed and thought it was kind of funny....but was still like, "hmm...isn't that a bit mean towards people who truly do have a disease because he is way worse than them."
As for the dating....and exploring yourself and everything else....
It's why I jumped all over the quote and printed it out in big huge letters on my wall
"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."
I forget now if it was someone here who put that quote by e.e. cummings up or someone on my bfb board....but man is it so true where some of us are right now.
My book club last night!
OH MY GOD!
It's called the "Cincinnati Dark and Storm Night Club" (I don't care about Cincinnati - go ahead and try and find me - there's 3.5 million other people here lol). It was a blast! As per usual, I didn't talk much. I also didn't talk much because while the book was great and the depth was "ok" and the story line was rich and all....to me...it read more like a novella. I am more of a fan of George Martin, Anne Rice, heck even Tolkein. This book had ~70,000 words (per the author who was there last night). If I really wanted to I could have sat and read it in an evening. Also...since I have my memory problems, if there's not like 4 pages devoted to ONE thing beating it to death...I kind of don't remember it a week later. So while I remember the general story and some more poignant moments in the book and some of the specifics....there were parts I was like umm...I don't remember this but I devoured the book (like I do all books).
Besides all that, though, the dynamic of the club was great. Only 8 people or so, 2 other young people, 3 middle aged, 3 older people so a good mix. Great dialogue. Great location. I am very much looking forward to the next one!!!
Bonus: It was our very first "inaugural" meeting right? As we were leaving, a HUGE thunderstorm had just rushed through the area, so these low moving clouds were coming through and there was big lightning/thunder off in the distance with some decent wind gusts. It was like OH MY GOD ITS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT HOW PERFECT.
Have a good day all
.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,798
We had some bad tstorms last night too in NE Ohio. Had to give Jack his 'composure' treats so he wouldn't freak out. He's deathly afraid of storms.
Tomorrow Jack and I are celebrating his second year with me! Two years ago my rescue friend called to ask me if I'd foster this little hw positive guy while he got his hw treatment. Of course we know where that leads...
We bonded right away and have been best friends for two lovely years now. He's a perfect gentleman - never does anything wrong.
It was at my rescue friend's house for his second/third treatment that she told me her bf was paying Jack's adoption fee so that I could keep him. I am grateful beyond words for his kindness and I thank him every time I look at Jack's sweet face.
Best of all, he's never known me drinking as I was six months sober when he came to me.
Tomorrow Jack and I are celebrating his second year with me! Two years ago my rescue friend called to ask me if I'd foster this little hw positive guy while he got his hw treatment. Of course we know where that leads...
We bonded right away and have been best friends for two lovely years now. He's a perfect gentleman - never does anything wrong.It was at my rescue friend's house for his second/third treatment that she told me her bf was paying Jack's adoption fee so that I could keep him.
I am grateful beyond words for his kindness and I thank him every time I look at Jack's sweet face.Best of all, he's never known me drinking as I was six months sober when he came to me.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Least,
You never fail to bring a mist and a smile to the eyes of a tough old retired military man. Maggie and Skylar have gotten me through some tough times, and I them. Yesterday we were doing one of our long walks on out paths here just before I cut the grass for several hours. When Skylar and Maggie ran around the back of the burn pile and started whining. There was a humongous Snapping turtle there in out yard that was trying to get to our oxidation pond. He had a head the size of a coke bottle and had about a 15 inch long shell that was almost as wide. I warned Maggie off and she backed away and Skylar was sniffing too close and I got him away just after it started to square off with him to bite. Here is a video that shows on the same size, and this was a small one like the one in the video:
Man vs. Snapping Turtle - YouTube
Skylar got his nose too close, but I called him off just in time and we did a quick walk and they looked at it on the way back from 20 feet away but went inside with me. I went back out and took some pics and it hissed and snapped at me as in the video. I put my foot on him or her and I could not believe how aggressive it was. I have handled them before but this one was so agitated that I decided not to pick it up not out of fear but because I didn't want to stress the animal too much. It was difficult to get behind it because it was really fast and kept trying to face me heads on.
Anyway it was a close call but Sky and Maggie both backed up when I gave the "out" command and avoided a nasty nose bite that would have been very nasty.
Those storms passed us by and did not rain as they went over us down here. Although they looked like they would early in the day.
You never fail to bring a mist and a smile to the eyes of a tough old retired military man. Maggie and Skylar have gotten me through some tough times, and I them. Yesterday we were doing one of our long walks on out paths here just before I cut the grass for several hours. When Skylar and Maggie ran around the back of the burn pile and started whining. There was a humongous Snapping turtle there in out yard that was trying to get to our oxidation pond. He had a head the size of a coke bottle and had about a 15 inch long shell that was almost as wide. I warned Maggie off and she backed away and Skylar was sniffing too close and I got him away just after it started to square off with him to bite. Here is a video that shows on the same size, and this was a small one like the one in the video:
Man vs. Snapping Turtle - YouTube
Skylar got his nose too close, but I called him off just in time and we did a quick walk and they looked at it on the way back from 20 feet away but went inside with me. I went back out and took some pics and it hissed and snapped at me as in the video. I put my foot on him or her and I could not believe how aggressive it was. I have handled them before but this one was so agitated that I decided not to pick it up not out of fear but because I didn't want to stress the animal too much. It was difficult to get behind it because it was really fast and kept trying to face me heads on.
Anyway it was a close call but Sky and Maggie both backed up when I gave the "out" command and avoided a nasty nose bite that would have been very nasty.
Those storms passed us by and did not rain as they went over us down here. Although they looked like they would early in the day.
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