Class of February 2012 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 35
Hey everybody, just checking in to say hey. Not much has changed around here except the weather. It is over 80 degrees today in STL!! That is crazy!
Same old stuff, work work work to keep myself busy and not drinking. I have to say I'm getting tired of work work work and no fun. It almost got me on Saturday after I finished painting one of my bathrooms, I really felt like I deserved a reward. Painting the bathroom is so hard! So many doors and windows to paint around. Good thing my daughter was home with one of her friends or I might have given in. But I didn't and I am proud for that.
Day 44
Same old stuff, work work work to keep myself busy and not drinking. I have to say I'm getting tired of work work work and no fun. It almost got me on Saturday after I finished painting one of my bathrooms, I really felt like I deserved a reward. Painting the bathroom is so hard! So many doors and windows to paint around. Good thing my daughter was home with one of her friends or I might have given in. But I didn't and I am proud for that.
Day 44
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Olympia: hang in there. Hope you feel better.
Kitty and Kam: Way to walk the walk, Ladies.
Dee: That was short! I thought you were off for a week! Guess that means no postcard, huh? Lol. Seriously, Hope the time off refreshed you.
I dont have much to say. Talked to.my Dad today. He is finally getting into feeling and talking about his grief. It was so hard grieving without him. I am happy to be present for him, and I know he will move through this, but it dredges my grief back up of course. I want to drink from reflex. But.i.know it will.just.make me more sad and fuzzy, and whats the point really? Drinking won't move.me through grief; it will.just keep.me stuck.in it. And drinking won't bring her back... And my Dad has not had a drink since.mid December for health reasons, so that helps. I am glad I have nothing to hide anymore. All of.me can be present. For the good and the bad. Therein lies the rub.
Kitty and Kam: Way to walk the walk, Ladies.
Dee: That was short! I thought you were off for a week! Guess that means no postcard, huh? Lol. Seriously, Hope the time off refreshed you.
I dont have much to say. Talked to.my Dad today. He is finally getting into feeling and talking about his grief. It was so hard grieving without him. I am happy to be present for him, and I know he will move through this, but it dredges my grief back up of course. I want to drink from reflex. But.i.know it will.just.make me more sad and fuzzy, and whats the point really? Drinking won't move.me through grief; it will.just keep.me stuck.in it. And drinking won't bring her back... And my Dad has not had a drink since.mid December for health reasons, so that helps. I am glad I have nothing to hide anymore. All of.me can be present. For the good and the bad. Therein lies the rub.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 134
Well, day 3. I had what I thought was going to be a job in the bag, actually working as a CNA, but it's home health and it would be an hour+ each way for less then 6 hours a week. I'd spend more in gas (it was 2 hrs, 3x a day) so...yeah. I was way way out there applying and went right past where a girl I know a)tends bar and b)the store next to it has my favorite wine. I was all pissed and irked and upset, and I literally drove into the parking lot (seeing if her car was there) was about to text her, and I just drove off. It did help to think I'd be able to post that here, instead of you know...avoiding you all. I did an hour of intense cardio again (uggh every time I go over 4 miles I get blisters. boo) and just, it is what it is. My dad brought in a dvd he had, and it's boardwalk empire...which is a show I love, but pretty sure that's not the wisest thing to watch right now, ha.
Then again, everything I watch people drink. Plenty. I just went through the 3rd season of damages and there's loads of it. Doesn't really get to me too much usually--hey at least there's not whiskey here (my poison of choice)?! Lol.
Johnny- That really does hit it on the head, the biggest loss for me was that. I need to respect myself enough to make the right choices, and that's a huge motivator. I can take almost anything into a "reason" to think about getting a drink still, but having something like that and working through it is awesome.
EQ- That's really tough stuff, my heart goes out to you both. That is SO true about drinking = being stuck. I am reeling in ways I haven't in a long time from the deaths of two people I loved the most that I lost, and it's been quite some time, it's working up to a decade that my best friend od'ed actually. That and being unable to deal/work through trauma issues I have. That's important to work to remind oneself of, that it prolongs the hurt.
HelloKitty- WOW, 44 days!! I know that me becoming a recluse at the end of my drinking probably helps, b/c I don't miss the socializing I always used to consider that go hand in hand with my drinking. Maybe think of a place you'd like to go, something you've wanted that with the money you're saving yourself you can have that as a gift to yourself? I am planning to dye my hair a different shade at 30 days, it's little (well I'd love to go all out but I surely don't have those funds!) and something I can be "ok here you go".
kam- Stoked you were able to turn it around, I know I'll start getting stress headaches and literally (how ridic is that when considering it's just going to equal a headache later on, ha) be...well a glass of wine would help (b/c as I'm sure you understand anxiety can so physically manifest). Stay strong, 4 weeks is so so exciting!
faustina- Thanks for posting that. I think I'm literally going to make a list of the negatives that come from the consequences just to have that right.here. in my room.
BF- Yeah, my favorite jobs always have involved animals. Kick some major a** and keep on kicking it on the rest!!
olympia- I started the last summer getting pretty ill (not at all saying that's the case here, definitely hoping not) and I/doctors eventually said that my body was starting to react to not constantly being bombarded w/alcohol and the things that being drunk all the time hid finally could be treated. Even just in someone not w/my issues at play, it would make sense for your body to start working a bit ot to get itself on the healthier plane.
Then again, everything I watch people drink. Plenty. I just went through the 3rd season of damages and there's loads of it. Doesn't really get to me too much usually--hey at least there's not whiskey here (my poison of choice)?! Lol.
Johnny- That really does hit it on the head, the biggest loss for me was that. I need to respect myself enough to make the right choices, and that's a huge motivator. I can take almost anything into a "reason" to think about getting a drink still, but having something like that and working through it is awesome.
EQ- That's really tough stuff, my heart goes out to you both. That is SO true about drinking = being stuck. I am reeling in ways I haven't in a long time from the deaths of two people I loved the most that I lost, and it's been quite some time, it's working up to a decade that my best friend od'ed actually. That and being unable to deal/work through trauma issues I have. That's important to work to remind oneself of, that it prolongs the hurt.
HelloKitty- WOW, 44 days!! I know that me becoming a recluse at the end of my drinking probably helps, b/c I don't miss the socializing I always used to consider that go hand in hand with my drinking. Maybe think of a place you'd like to go, something you've wanted that with the money you're saving yourself you can have that as a gift to yourself? I am planning to dye my hair a different shade at 30 days, it's little (well I'd love to go all out but I surely don't have those funds!) and something I can be "ok here you go".
kam- Stoked you were able to turn it around, I know I'll start getting stress headaches and literally (how ridic is that when considering it's just going to equal a headache later on, ha) be...well a glass of wine would help (b/c as I'm sure you understand anxiety can so physically manifest). Stay strong, 4 weeks is so so exciting!
faustina- Thanks for posting that. I think I'm literally going to make a list of the negatives that come from the consequences just to have that right.here. in my room.
BF- Yeah, my favorite jobs always have involved animals. Kick some major a** and keep on kicking it on the rest!!
olympia- I started the last summer getting pretty ill (not at all saying that's the case here, definitely hoping not) and I/doctors eventually said that my body was starting to react to not constantly being bombarded w/alcohol and the things that being drunk all the time hid finally could be treated. Even just in someone not w/my issues at play, it would make sense for your body to start working a bit ot to get itself on the healthier plane.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
LP: Great job keeping on track! And great job consistently checking in with SR. Whenever you feel like avoiding a day of checkin in, force yourself for now, cuz this early avoidance could be a precursor to veering off the path, y'know? Be proud of yourself, you are staying aware and working on getting a running start.
Dee: That is kind of you. No surprise, as you are a kind person. But be sure to go enjoy your vacation. The training wheels you gave us will last the week.
This thread spins straw into gold each day. You guys amaze and inspire me. Thank you.
Dee: That is kind of you. No surprise, as you are a kind person. But be sure to go enjoy your vacation. The training wheels you gave us will last the week.
This thread spins straw into gold each day. You guys amaze and inspire me. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Well my final was super hard but I think I did ok.
JD good choice paying bills instead of buying booze!
LP good choice driving off! If I was sitting in that parking lot I prob would have been very tempted to drink.
Still battling being sick so I think I'll go to bed early.
JD good choice paying bills instead of buying booze!
LP good choice driving off! If I was sitting in that parking lot I prob would have been very tempted to drink.
Still battling being sick so I think I'll go to bed early.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 137
Having run out of fingers and toes on which to count, I'm now not sure what day I am on.
So if my last drink was on 11 February and Day 1 of not drinking was 12 February, I think that works out that today must be Day
but I could be wrong.
So if my last drink was on 11 February and Day 1 of not drinking was 12 February, I think that works out that today must be Day
but I could be wrong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto
Posts: 443
Good job on 30 days, my friend.
I've always considered the first 24hr period inwhich I didn't put alcohol into my system day 1.
LP-sorry to hear the job didn't pan out. Should you stumble, there is absolutly no reason to become MIA, I'm pretty sure were all human* and understand. In my case, avoidance just leads to more. And more and more. I'm glad you didn't get the wine. Chin up, good things are right around the corner.
*Re "all human" I think Dee might be AI. There, I said it! I can't be the only one who's noticed the 'perfect advice' and timely manner in which he gives it!?! LOL As for the Vacation, ha!, more likely new software being installed.
I think I should go back to bed.
I've always considered the first 24hr period inwhich I didn't put alcohol into my system day 1.
LP-sorry to hear the job didn't pan out. Should you stumble, there is absolutly no reason to become MIA, I'm pretty sure were all human* and understand. In my case, avoidance just leads to more. And more and more. I'm glad you didn't get the wine. Chin up, good things are right around the corner.
*Re "all human" I think Dee might be AI. There, I said it! I can't be the only one who's noticed the 'perfect advice' and timely manner in which he gives it!?! LOL As for the Vacation, ha!, more likely new software being installed.
I think I should go back to bed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
johnnyD: You are a hoot!
Regarding AI: I am beginning to think SR turns us all into one Universal Mind....
Are we part of a big hive conciousness?
Because how else to explain the fact that I, the always sardonic, pessimistic, introverted loner, with the mindset of a grouchy old man... I, who swears to preferring my dog, art, a book, anything, over being with people... I, who never, EVER, asks for help.... Now come on here day and night, delighting in the progress of others, hungrily scarfing down their advice and encouragement like a street urchin, and pour my innermost thoughts out for anyone to see! How to explain?
That is either Hive Mind, or, Sobriety, or both, and I don't care which. Support is my new elixir.
Complexiti: Thirty days is such a huge accomplishment! An ovation for you!! How do you feel?
Regarding AI: I am beginning to think SR turns us all into one Universal Mind....
Are we part of a big hive conciousness?
Because how else to explain the fact that I, the always sardonic, pessimistic, introverted loner, with the mindset of a grouchy old man... I, who swears to preferring my dog, art, a book, anything, over being with people... I, who never, EVER, asks for help.... Now come on here day and night, delighting in the progress of others, hungrily scarfing down their advice and encouragement like a street urchin, and pour my innermost thoughts out for anyone to see! How to explain?
That is either Hive Mind, or, Sobriety, or both, and I don't care which. Support is my new elixir.
Complexiti: Thirty days is such a huge accomplishment! An ovation for you!! How do you feel?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wyandotte, MI
Posts: 71
EQ- I agree with your statement about becoming one universal mind on SR, I too am a loner and I find it easy to post here on SR, and read all the advice because it makes so much sense to me. My friends advice is to pace myself when I drink, that will never happen and has never happened.
Olympia- Welcome to SR, I hope it brings to you the same magic it has brought to me.
LP- Congrats on day 3, you are doing a great job, things will get better, keep posting and there are other forums of SR that might help. Stories of Recovery, is just one. I am cheering for you.
JD- Sometimes saying no is really really Tough.
Complex- Congrats on day 30!!! Woooo Hoooo
HelloKitty- Congrats on day 44!!!! Woooo Hooo
BF- I am wishing you great success with your education, final exam time is so stressful.
Olympia- Welcome to SR, I hope it brings to you the same magic it has brought to me.
LP- Congrats on day 3, you are doing a great job, things will get better, keep posting and there are other forums of SR that might help. Stories of Recovery, is just one. I am cheering for you.
JD- Sometimes saying no is really really Tough.
Complex- Congrats on day 30!!! Woooo Hoooo
HelloKitty- Congrats on day 44!!!! Woooo Hooo
BF- I am wishing you great success with your education, final exam time is so stressful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: near Burlington, vt
Posts: 102
Hey, everyone.
I definitely have been slammed by something nasty- very feverish and achy last night. logicalparadox- Interesting, what your doctor says. And it definitely makes sense- although, in my case, I've been feeling extremely bratty about getting sick just when I'm starting to take better care of myself. It's just not fair! In a way, though, the sickness helps solidify a "This too will pass" mindset- I'm pretty sure this sickness will pass, unpleasant as it is.
Hope everyone is doing well!
I definitely have been slammed by something nasty- very feverish and achy last night. logicalparadox- Interesting, what your doctor says. And it definitely makes sense- although, in my case, I've been feeling extremely bratty about getting sick just when I'm starting to take better care of myself. It's just not fair! In a way, though, the sickness helps solidify a "This too will pass" mindset- I'm pretty sure this sickness will pass, unpleasant as it is.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 236
Evening everyone! Day 28 done and dusted!
JD and EQ - you two are so funny. Loving the AI and Hive Mind theories!
Olympia - Sorry you're feeling sick. Vit C all the way!
LP - sorry about the job but good going not stopping for booze. My mum always says 'What's for you won't go by you' - something else fabulous will turn up for you!
You guys keep me going every day - would not be at 4 weeks sober without Feb Class.
On a side note I feel like I'm living Marley and Me! Doggie I'm looking after seems to be having abandonment issues from her owners going away and she's been acting up. Went out for a while today and came back to find she's peed on the carpet and chewed the doormat! Now she won't let me out of her sight. Think I may have to sleep in this chair as she's lying on my foot and won't let me move!
JD and EQ - you two are so funny. Loving the AI and Hive Mind theories!
Olympia - Sorry you're feeling sick. Vit C all the way!
LP - sorry about the job but good going not stopping for booze. My mum always says 'What's for you won't go by you' - something else fabulous will turn up for you!
You guys keep me going every day - would not be at 4 weeks sober without Feb Class.
On a side note I feel like I'm living Marley and Me! Doggie I'm looking after seems to be having abandonment issues from her owners going away and she's been acting up. Went out for a while today and came back to find she's peed on the carpet and chewed the doormat! Now she won't let me out of her sight. Think I may have to sleep in this chair as she's lying on my foot and won't let me move!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Hi guys,
Gonna cut to the chase. I've wanted a drink since this afternoon. I even started being angry at myself for ever making this decision. I finally had a talk between the part of me that took charge and quit and the part thats throwing the tantrum. Sober part said: "Look I don't like this anymore then you do. But someone had to be the grown up. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, maybe more. Someday you'll thank me for this."
The part of me that wants to drink, responded by : Screaming and saying: " I hate you. You can't tell me what to do. I didnt ask to be sober!! Who do you think you ARE! Get out of my life! You've ruined everything. I will never be able to have crazy fun ever again! And it's all your fault! Is that what you wanted?"
And Sober voice couldn't think of a thing to say, except:" We'll talk about this tomorrow when we've both calmed down."
This was not going well. I don't know what to say this bratty teen voice. The only thing that comes to.me is: "I'm sorry. Life is unfair. Sometimes it just sucks. We'll get through it together. It won't always feel this way. I have to do what's best for you. We'll do something fun together soon, I promise."
She'd just say: "Yeah, right, that's what you always say" and then she'd slam her door.
It's true, i don't know how to have fun without a drink. And she knows it.
Maybe I should ask HER how to have fun...
Thanks for letting me talk this out, guys. I really was stuck in the I want a drink and I don't know why spot. By writing that out I think i can say I want to have fun, and I don't know how.
Cheers and love to all. Bravo.
Gonna cut to the chase. I've wanted a drink since this afternoon. I even started being angry at myself for ever making this decision. I finally had a talk between the part of me that took charge and quit and the part thats throwing the tantrum. Sober part said: "Look I don't like this anymore then you do. But someone had to be the grown up. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, maybe more. Someday you'll thank me for this."
The part of me that wants to drink, responded by : Screaming and saying: " I hate you. You can't tell me what to do. I didnt ask to be sober!! Who do you think you ARE! Get out of my life! You've ruined everything. I will never be able to have crazy fun ever again! And it's all your fault! Is that what you wanted?"
And Sober voice couldn't think of a thing to say, except:" We'll talk about this tomorrow when we've both calmed down."
This was not going well. I don't know what to say this bratty teen voice. The only thing that comes to.me is: "I'm sorry. Life is unfair. Sometimes it just sucks. We'll get through it together. It won't always feel this way. I have to do what's best for you. We'll do something fun together soon, I promise."
She'd just say: "Yeah, right, that's what you always say" and then she'd slam her door.
It's true, i don't know how to have fun without a drink. And she knows it.
Maybe I should ask HER how to have fun...
Thanks for letting me talk this out, guys. I really was stuck in the I want a drink and I don't know why spot. By writing that out I think i can say I want to have fun, and I don't know how.
Cheers and love to all. Bravo.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 134
Had a more hopeful job interview today, that is willing to train those w/out experience. Issue is that she had just hired a couple people, but *hopefully* someone will decide they don't want to stay and I can get my foot in that door. I'll keep on trying, and keep in contact with her.
I am SO sore, and I have the worst blister so I did a spinning class w/clogs. Ha. I hope I can workout as well tomorrow b/c that is so important, esp at the beginning of my not drinking.
EQ- I'm sorry you're in such a rough spot, it can be such hell when the in your face DESIRE is so strong. I wish I had better advice, but all I can do is I try to focus on the immediate strongest things I loathe about the most, the disappointment, the phone calls/action I am likely to make intoxicated, having to feel SICK, and the fact that really NOTHING is better by drinking. I can think when "out" I depended on it sooooo heavily b/c of my anxiety, but if there is anything I really feel I need it to "complete" the activity, what good is that for me really. What fun am I having, and why did I believe so strongly I was.
I mean, I still wanted to today, get a shot before the interview. SMART. Being anywhere other then where I'm used to, I get this--but you're not HERE often--it'll just be a bit/today/etc. I think it's just the first go to thought. The calming the frayed nerves immediate, the numbing the edges. It's constant and it's draining.
I have to seemingly relearn SO much, I never quite picked up that nifty concept of coping, and for a long time I am not sure who it was I was playing.
Hugs and all that good stuff.
kam- Totally doing my happy dance for you and the 28! Heck yeah (and I like that phrase, I don't think I've come across it)
olympia- Oh no, I definitely was REALLY irked, ha. Then I got slammed w/the serious stuff but yeah...i've experienced things like that before. When I was really bad off w/ my eating disorder, I'd deal w/some refeeding issues--which is a big eff you when you finally are trying to increase intake/keep everything down. Bodies that have been under stress for some time and having an overload of toxins have some, um..."spring cleaning"?! Heh. I hope you feel better, keep your liquids up and rest as much as possible.
fuaustina- Hey you. I suppose for a long time I even considered myself more of an extrovert then I was. I think it was a role that appealed to me--but that's a whole long sordid story of all my personal issues w/wanting, and needing and avoiding attention all at once. I don't feel it's ok to accept I'll be a hermit forever, but it's a process of figuring out what I want/need. This is a great place and I am able to be much more open and aware and learn so much from SR.
Johnny- I choked on my drink (tea that is!) when I read that, hehe.
(also this reminds me of the endless entertainment cleverbot gives me. and this AI vs. AI. Two chatbots talking to each other - YouTube)
BoozeFree- Bet you rocked it
Complexiti- More then a job just well done!
<3
~LP, abuser of exclamation marks, among many others, extraordinaire
I am SO sore, and I have the worst blister so I did a spinning class w/clogs. Ha. I hope I can workout as well tomorrow b/c that is so important, esp at the beginning of my not drinking.
EQ- I'm sorry you're in such a rough spot, it can be such hell when the in your face DESIRE is so strong. I wish I had better advice, but all I can do is I try to focus on the immediate strongest things I loathe about the most, the disappointment, the phone calls/action I am likely to make intoxicated, having to feel SICK, and the fact that really NOTHING is better by drinking. I can think when "out" I depended on it sooooo heavily b/c of my anxiety, but if there is anything I really feel I need it to "complete" the activity, what good is that for me really. What fun am I having, and why did I believe so strongly I was.
I mean, I still wanted to today, get a shot before the interview. SMART. Being anywhere other then where I'm used to, I get this--but you're not HERE often--it'll just be a bit/today/etc. I think it's just the first go to thought. The calming the frayed nerves immediate, the numbing the edges. It's constant and it's draining.
I have to seemingly relearn SO much, I never quite picked up that nifty concept of coping, and for a long time I am not sure who it was I was playing.
Hugs and all that good stuff.
kam- Totally doing my happy dance for you and the 28! Heck yeah (and I like that phrase, I don't think I've come across it)
olympia- Oh no, I definitely was REALLY irked, ha. Then I got slammed w/the serious stuff but yeah...i've experienced things like that before. When I was really bad off w/ my eating disorder, I'd deal w/some refeeding issues--which is a big eff you when you finally are trying to increase intake/keep everything down. Bodies that have been under stress for some time and having an overload of toxins have some, um..."spring cleaning"?! Heh. I hope you feel better, keep your liquids up and rest as much as possible.
fuaustina- Hey you. I suppose for a long time I even considered myself more of an extrovert then I was. I think it was a role that appealed to me--but that's a whole long sordid story of all my personal issues w/wanting, and needing and avoiding attention all at once. I don't feel it's ok to accept I'll be a hermit forever, but it's a process of figuring out what I want/need. This is a great place and I am able to be much more open and aware and learn so much from SR.
Johnny- I choked on my drink (tea that is!) when I read that, hehe.
(also this reminds me of the endless entertainment cleverbot gives me. and this AI vs. AI. Two chatbots talking to each other - YouTube)
BoozeFree- Bet you rocked it
Complexiti- More then a job just well done!
<3
~LP, abuser of exclamation marks, among many others, extraordinaire
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Complexiti congrats on the 30! Super awesome!
EQ I know those voices too well. In the past I always have ended up giving in just to shut the thoughts up which always led to the next morning being super bummed that after all my hard work I thru it away over a night of drinking. You chose to get sober for a reason and maybe reminding your self of that will help you get thru the craving.
Had my other final tonight, officially done with school till like August. After being in school for a year straight having tests weekly it will be weird not to have to study or do homework. On the way home thoughts popped in my head saying I should reward myself with some beer which is ofcorse what I would normally do, but instead I'm home watching tv and going to sleep early.
EQ I know those voices too well. In the past I always have ended up giving in just to shut the thoughts up which always led to the next morning being super bummed that after all my hard work I thru it away over a night of drinking. You chose to get sober for a reason and maybe reminding your self of that will help you get thru the craving.
Had my other final tonight, officially done with school till like August. After being in school for a year straight having tests weekly it will be weird not to have to study or do homework. On the way home thoughts popped in my head saying I should reward myself with some beer which is ofcorse what I would normally do, but instead I'm home watching tv and going to sleep early.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 40
Sounds like like you guys are like me (struggling to make the right choices and feeling better when we do). Yesterday was 5 weeks sober and I had to check iCal just to make sure! Since I've been going to AA this time sober, I spend MUCH more time reading, attending meetings and trying to be productive than counting my sober days. Actually, it seems I think less about drinking even though I'm actively not drinking. It feels good.
BF comes home from rehab Sunday and I'm finding myself (very) anxious about it : ( Of course, I'm super excited to have him home as I've missed him so much and while these 4 weeks of solo reflective time have been a little lonely it was exactly what I needed to start my recovery for myself and by myself. I just hope we can be sober and happy together and not rely on each other too much in our own recovery journeys.
Way to go everyone, your posts make me smile! You guys are doing so well. Have a GREAT day!
BF comes home from rehab Sunday and I'm finding myself (very) anxious about it : ( Of course, I'm super excited to have him home as I've missed him so much and while these 4 weeks of solo reflective time have been a little lonely it was exactly what I needed to start my recovery for myself and by myself. I just hope we can be sober and happy together and not rely on each other too much in our own recovery journeys.
Way to go everyone, your posts make me smile! You guys are doing so well. Have a GREAT day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
I realize now, since I have stopped drinking, I can see that I am very unfulfilled and down right unhappy about many aspects of my life.
Sobriety has made this very clear.
But I have to not confuse that with blaming sobriety for being unhappy with my life. Sobriety is not the cause of my unhappiness... it is the cause that allows me to see my unhappiness.
I hate my unhappiness. I do not hate sobriety. Does that make sense? Please tell me that makes sense. Cause this is a tough spot I am in recently.
Sobriety has made this very clear.
But I have to not confuse that with blaming sobriety for being unhappy with my life. Sobriety is not the cause of my unhappiness... it is the cause that allows me to see my unhappiness.
I hate my unhappiness. I do not hate sobriety. Does that make sense? Please tell me that makes sense. Cause this is a tough spot I am in recently.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: near Burlington, vt
Posts: 102
Eternal- It does sound like you're lacking in fun right now. I think fun is essential, and not drinking shouldn't be about just not doing something, but about finding new ways to connect with others and get pleasure out of life. Any chance you could splurge on some fun today- either something you've always liked (sober), or something new you've always wanted to try?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
O: Thank you! : )
That is helpful. I work 4 ten hour days, so sometimes planning ahead gets lost... and then everyone already has made their plans by the time i ask!
But let me mull over this. Good feedback. Maybe join the Y tonite or something. I will mull....
That is helpful. I work 4 ten hour days, so sometimes planning ahead gets lost... and then everyone already has made their plans by the time i ask!
But let me mull over this. Good feedback. Maybe join the Y tonite or something. I will mull....
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