Hi guys,
Gonna cut to the chase. I've wanted a drink since this afternoon. I even started being angry at myself for ever making this decision. I finally had a talk between the part of me that took charge and quit and the part thats throwing the tantrum. Sober part said: "Look I don't like this anymore then you do. But someone had to be the grown up. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you, maybe more. Someday you'll thank me for this."
The part of me that wants to drink, responded by : Screaming and saying: " I hate you. You can't tell me what to do. I didnt ask to be sober!! Who do you think you ARE! Get out of my life! You've ruined everything. I will never be able to have crazy fun ever again! And it's all your fault! Is that what you wanted?"
And Sober voice couldn't think of a thing to say, except:" We'll talk about this tomorrow when we've both calmed down."
This was not going well. I don't know what to say this bratty teen voice. The only thing that comes to.me is: "I'm sorry. Life is unfair. Sometimes it just sucks. We'll get through it together. It won't always feel this way. I have to do what's best for you. We'll do something fun together soon, I promise."
She'd just say: "Yeah, right, that's what you always say" and then she'd slam her door.
It's true, i don't know how to have fun without a drink. And she knows it.
Maybe I should ask HER how to have fun...
Thanks for letting me talk this out, guys. I really was stuck in the I want a drink and I don't know why spot. By writing that out I think i can say I want to have fun, and I don't know how.
Cheers and love to all. Bravo.