alexvt

Thanks again guys, I will figure it out.

I just wanted say goodnight.

All good here, just exhausted. I hope everyone is doing well

DAY 6

alexvt

Lyddie i was going to congratulate you on 9 months but I think I may be off? When is your sobriety date again?

alexvt

I was just reading old posts and it is 9 months tomorrow Lyddie!!

So Congratulations and have an amazing day!

You have and continue to be a good friend and an inspiration to me

lyddie

Thanks Beth. You are actually a day early. It will be 9 months on the 2nd if I count on the the calendar day of the month but if I count by the number of days then I passed Day 270 two days ago. Lol!

It feels really good to get to 9 months of sobriety. The best thing is that it feels like I have left all the cr*p behind and that I am moving forward to something better - not sure what the better is but that's where I am going.

alexvt

I hope you have Lyddie, I wish only good things for you

I Feel a little more stable today. Maybe my nervous system is calming down.

I have lots to do today. You guys have a good day

Oh and I got good news on Dog! All his blood work was GREAT!!! YAY!

1 week for me

DAY 7

HFA

Lyddie,
Congrats on the 9 Months!!!!

It has been great to have you along the way. Glad your still around.

lyddie

Thanks HFA - I am really glad that you are still around too.

alexvt

Hi guys, I hope you are all having a good friday. Today I took the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood, then for a ride around the mountain, and let them get out on a trail for a little walk. They were in dog heaven! It was good for me to get out while the nanny took DD to the park today.

I am really starting to realize the damage I caused to myself because of my 2-3 wk binge. My self esteem and confidence took a huge blow. All of that sober time I spent trying to rebuild myself, and what little I did manage to have got completely decimated in a fairly short time. I am having to start from the bottom all over again and it's so tough. So I hope nobody thinks I just got right back on the horse no harm done. What a F-g stupid thing I did to myself, for what? NADA! I hope to come away from this so much stronger. I have had no thoughts of alcohol past the 3rd day, but I am just struggling now to undo the harm It did to me. NEVER AGAIN! I mean it this time. I am going to try to get to a meeting tomorrow.

Just thought I'd share. Have a good night all.

Congrats again Lyddie! Excellent achievement!

DAY 7

Dee74

Congratulations on 9months Lyddie

D

ANEWAUGUST

Beth...

I was where you are so many times on this journey to sober living.

I needed the face to face support I found in the rooms of AA. For me, living so far away from where I was born and raised, it has allowed me to make connections with people that I realized I missed. I left my closest friends and family, and although I love my life here, I had a void.

Finding that connection again has helped me so much in my sobriety. AA has saved my life.

Hoping everyone has a great Saturday...

alexvt

Anewaugust,

That is exactly what it is, a void and feeling isolated.

I have been in LA w/ my now X fiance, (we still live in same house for financial reasons) for 3 years now. I got pregnant within 3 months of me leaving everything and everyone (except animals.) I have never had a chance to really form any bonds here.
I plan on moving back to ATL very soon, hopefully by the end of summer. The whole thing is a mess.
I have always been independent and taken care of myself, but I worked as a bartender for 19years which is my only skill. Obviously, that isn't going to be an option when I get back to Atl. I am totally reliant on my X, which doesn't help my self esteem.

I have decided to move my trip to Atl back till the end of May. My grandma, my daughters Great grandma is coming into town and it may be the last time we see her. She doesn't get out much. I am going to have to start learning to be around my friends sober eventually anyways. I might as well start with a small trip.

Thanks for understanding AW and replying. I really am going to give AA a chance. I have heard how it helps people feel connected, especially those with little or no support like myself.

I hope you all have a good day. I am sill trying to wake up. DD got up at 5:30 am, and I went to bed around 12am. Ugh!

DAY 8

ANEWAUGUST

I am one who believes that whatever has happened in my life, is all that should be, the good and the bad.

I truly love my life here, especially now. But, once I had children, especially my daughter I really didn't acknowledge how alone I felt at times. I missed the physical connection with my family and sharing my childrens lives with them.

My drinking did escalate during this time...and in hindsight., I should have done more to acknowledge those feelings and develop some tools to deal with those feelings. Instead, I just tried to drown them and wish them away.

Logically, I knew what they were and why I was feeling them...but, that didn't help my heart.

Dee74

Thanks Anew - I really agree that face to face support may just be what you need Beth.
I think putting off the trip until the end of May is a great idea

D

alexvt

Sorry to be checking in so late. Today was non-stop! All good here, I feel a little less miserable. I am going to try to have a more positive outlook. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I didn't make it to meeting today, but it's coming.

Thanks again AW and Dee and well all of you

DAY 8

alexvt

Good Morning everyone, enjoy your Sunday or Monday

It's cleaning day for me!


DAY 9

lyddie

It's my do what I want when I want to day. But actually I am really hoping that the spirit will move me to get some major housecleaning done.

alexvt

Hey,

Just got finished up with everything, and I am trying to relax. I have had no thoughts of alcohol today or really any day since day 3. I am slowly but surely regaining my old sober self. Thank God!

Lyddie I hope you enjoyed your day, and I like the "do what ever I want day."

Good Night all

Again, thank you all for helping me get through the past 9 days.

DAY 9

lyddie

Beth - glad that you are getting back to your NEW sober self!

alexvt

Good Morning all,

I had a drinking dream last night. This time I was drinking little bottles of Grand Mariner, and champagne. I remember in my dream thinking how did that happen. Oh well glad it was just a dream.

I woke up in a great mood so I hope to ride the happy wave today. DD and I are going to Gymboree later and maybe the park.

Have a great day

DAY 10

alexvt

Gymboree, the park, grocery store, and the backyard to play with DD new ball. Can you say Whew!

It was beautiful day and we lived it to the fullest

Have a good night guys!

DAY 10