June 2010 Sobriety Group Pt 5
 

continues from here : :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...pt-4-a-21.html

D

Thanks for the new thread, Dee. I guess it is a sign of success - our June group is now officially up to a part 5 thread.

I am doing No Sweets - no candy, no cake, no ice cream etc. This is in preparation to going on an actual diet. I think if I can curb the sugar cravings before I diet, I have a better chance of being successful. And today I did it again - no sweets!

TJ - I rarely ate dessert and never had a sugar craving before last October so this is new with sobriety for me.

Beth, the places just south of me really were battered so I feel very grateful. What I don't feel grateful about (but understand) is that just after my last post about 30 hours ago all the electricity in Cairns was cut. Mine came on an hour or so ago (it's taken me this long to work out what is happening with our threads) but half the population (50,000) still are without power. So last night was hot, dark and quiet but all is well that ends well. So now that I have power and have worked out where to post I'll try and keep up my momentum. Thanks again everyone for all the supportive messages.

Shoei.

Shoei - We are just glad that you are back with us and sober. I think I would have to struggle with the temptation of alcohol to lessen the fear during a cyclone.

Yeah, Shoei. Nice to hear from you and that all is relatively well. I saw some pictures of the damage and destruction left by the storm -- very scary indeed! Sounds like you were one of the lucky ones.

Well, I'm good today. Trying not to worry about the things that trouble me (finances) and hope that there will be a solution somehow. I know that drinking does nothing to solve any of these things that trouble me. It just masks the problems so that I don't have to deal with them temporarily, then leaves a wake of destruction that I have to climb out of in order to get back to dealing with things. Not good.

I started reading another book on alcohol last night. I think it's good to have 2-3 going at once. I really feel that reading and learning is a key part of my recovery, and I though I have started it in the past I tend to slack off on it when things get busy and POOF! goes my recovery plan. So I had a few free minutes last night and started (re-reading) the book called the Uncommon Drunk. All of these books are good for me and put a different perspective on the alcohol problem.

Last night my daughter and I did go to the gym together. We both went feeling really crappy and tired and not sure if we should even go. When we got there, we both did the treadmill (side by side). Then we went in the hot tub together. All this while we chat with other each about things and about nothing or whatever. After we got dressed and left, we both realized that our bad moods were gone, our bodies felt "alive" and invigorated, and that we weren't tired after all. The benefits of exercise are simply amazing and hard to put a price tag on that. If you think of all the money you spend on doctors and therapy in order to feel good, the price of a gym membership seems like a bargain in comparison.

I am on schedule to do: 3 one and 1/2 hour yoga classes per week, 2 gym workouts (with my daughter) per week, and one outdoor run/bike ride per week. That leaves one day off. That will probably be the day I go to my SMART meeting. It all sounds good to me. And I write in my journal every day and keep on READING. That's my plan.

I'm a little chatty today... sorry about that :) Have a nice Friday everyone!

Tj - I think it's great the you and your daughter go to the gym together. My hunch is that the companionship you share also is a big part of making those crappy feelings go away.

I agree with you Lyddie. She is at the age (12) where she is starting to get moody and slam doors and lock herself in her room. This special time with her at the gym is really good for our relationship and I find that she relaxes and chats with me more and really "opens up" on these trips to the gym.

The price of this gym membership is high, but the price of a psychologist for her each month would be much higher. If I can do something to keep her healthy and talking to me regularly, I think it's money well spent.

I'm in the process of looking at everything I spend money on and critically evaluating everything...

Thanks Shoei for keeping us updated. You are an important part of this group so it is really nice when you post. Stay strong my friend.

Sounds like a real good plan TJ. I think even if your daughter asks nonchalant about going to the gym with you, I bet it means the world to her. It will probably
be one her best memories with you later in her life. So I think its a great thing for the both of you.

Lyddie I think sugar really does effect our moods in a negative way so maybe once you rid your body of it you will be a little happier:) It's a great thing you're doing for yourself keep it up.

HFA, I hope your week ended up better than it started.

Dee, I am sure the cyclone has affected you in many ways. I am sorry for that, and any friends and family you may have that are feeling the effect of the storm.
Keep being your awesome self.

Me? I am having some serious depression. No thoughts of drinking, just very down and sad. I will work through it.

Have a great weekend, have some fun for me.

DAY 88

Glad you're ok Shoei.

A lot of folks get down around the 90 days mark Beth - I can post my PAWs link if you haven't seen it a million times yet LOL

Hope you feel better soon :)

hi Laura and Lyddie :wave:

have a good weekend everyone! :)

D

Thanks everyone. Actually Lyddie there was an article in the paper yesterday reporting on the high number of young people who were holed up in their houses drinking during the cyclone and were communicating with each other on Facebook, Twitter etc.

I wasn't tempted actually. I am getting on much better with the guy I share the apartment with and we just sat on the deck, chatted and watched the show until it became too much. We were always good friends but I did almost move out and get an apartment in the same complex on my own. But as I have walked this path I have come to realise that perhaps I shouldn't be quite so anal about a glass or pan not being washed up after dinner and the apartment not looking perfect all the time. Also to move would cost about 50% more since I would be on my own.

I have tried (and succeeded I think) in letting go a bit, not trying to control everything and things are much better now. Funnily enough he has been offered a new job overseas as well. He is keeping his share of the apartment but will rarely be here so in the end everything has worked out rather well. No one has been offended and we are still great friends. Well I'm off to the gym now. Hope you all have a great weekend where ever you are.

Shoei.

Happy Saturday everyone. I feel good today, don't know why but I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

Lyddie, glad you're feeling so great!

Beth, I hope you have a better day today!

Shoei - I can relate to that whole feeling of wanting to control every situation. I am a "neat freak", have been like that all my life, and have had several roommates throughout my life that were much sloppier than I was. Now I have three children who are quite messy, as you can imagine, particularly my daughter, who is pretty much a slob. It's good you're relaxing about it more and I'm trying to do that as well :) Having said that, neatness or organization is a part of my being and it's not going away. Yesterday I spent several hours re-organizing my bathroom (throwing away all sorts of expired medicines, little travel toiletries, old bars of soap, etc. ) and my bathroom now looks beautiful and I know where everything is! I am definitely not letting go of my desire to be organized because it gives me too much pleasure!

When I was in college, Shoei, there was a big hurricane headed directly to my campus. It started out as a big Cat 4 storm, but by the time it got to where we were it had hit land a few times and was downgraded to a Cat 1. Still, it was predicted to be bad so they had us tape the windows of our dorm, get to secure buildings, etc. and they even canceled classes, something they almost never did. We were all around 21 years old, pretty clueless and young and thought this was a PERFECT excuse to throw a party. We all stayed up late into the night, partying and then slept the day away the next day when the hurricane hit. When you are young, you think nothing bad can ever happen to you and we were no exception. And somehow when you are in college you feel immune to the dangers of the real world. Interesting to look back on that now.

So I'm still sober and hanging in there. Trying to ward of temptations to go out with friends this weekend. That's the hardest part for me, really.

I'm also still off of Facebook and very happy about this. It was a huge time waster for me. I'm also thinking about what a strange and warped social phenomenon it is. I had 238 "friends" on there who were not really my friends. Yeah, some of them were. But most were not. Just various acquaintances from my life, many of whom should have been left well in the past. And the whole concept of "defriending"someone is so juevenile and middle-school like. Yet adults do it to each other. As a 46 year old I'm putting my foot down and saying no more of this crap. It was fun for a while until it wasn't fun anymore... sounds like something else I know....

Have a great day everyone.

DAY 89

Good morning all,

Not much new today, just a relaxing Sunday morning with the papers. TJ, I agree with you, I actually enjoy being tidy and organised, it gives me a sense of personal order and calm. As I said I have just let go a bit and this seems to be enough so that I don't get pi$$ed off but the place is still tidy. As for facebook, well my feelings are known on that subject, I'm sure that it will all end in tears.................I just wrote a long post and it has all disappeared for some reason, bugger! Hope you all have a great day.

Shoei.

Shoei, I'm sorry your long post got deleted. I do enjoy reading them! I agree with the your description of "personal order and calm." I get a lot of pleasure after I clean up a messy area, find order where there was previously chaos, etc. I'm actually good at organizing, too -- I find it easy and intuitive to do, but my problem is lack of time to do it. My Mom is helping me take on one area of my house at a time and it's really wonderful to have a helper. So far we have cleaned up my laundry room, my closet with Christmas/Halloween decorations, and now my bathroom. Next I need to tackle my clothes and closet. One step at a time....I try to give myself a break because having kids is not easy and it's very easy for things to get disorganized when you are tending to all their needs.

On a more serious note, today my parents and I visited the US Holocaust Museum/Memorial. What an incredibly moving, sad and unforgettable experience. We knew it wasn't going to be uplifting and it most definitely wasn't, but I learned a lot even though I thought I had seen it all before. The museum is incredibly well put together, very beautiful, and has so much to read and see that you could spend all day there and still not see everything. We spent about 3 hours there then my Mom was starting to fade (she gets hungry frequently) so we wrapped up as best we could and left. We went to a French cafe for dinner, which was delicious --- I had a salad with grilled chicken, French bread and delicious coffee. Yum. I have to say that today turned out well, in spite of the rainy cold weather, and I enjoyed spending most of the day with my parents.

I'm home now (had to turn down a invitation from a girlfriend to go out... really didn't want to anyways...) and very grateful for my home and my life as it is. In spite of all the problems. Nothing like putting things in perspective after a museum trip like that.

I think I'm going to curl up with my dog and watch a comedy to chill out a bit tonight after such an intense day. Have good night, all.

Laura - Your day sounds like it was very nice. I am jealous.

I have been cleaning and then I sit down and read a bit, watch a little TV, then get up and clean some more. The next month is going to be very stressful for me with a major upgrade so I am trying to serenitize my home space before it starts.

Beth - Tomorrow is Day 90! What are you going to do to treat yourself?

Lyddie, I can relate to your feelings of wanting to get things in order before your next big work project. I'm in a similar situation myself right now. Things are slow at work, so I'm trying to take advantage of the down time to get my house/files/finances, etc. in order. I'm anticipating having to increase my work hours in the very near future. This is the calm before the storm, so to speak!

I can't stop thinking about the things I saw at the Holocaust museum. Those poor people. My au pair went to the museum a while ago and she told me that it took her 2-3 days to feel back to normal after going.

Well, I'm going to try to relax and watch a movie now.

TJ - My sister had the same reaction as you after she went to the Holocaust museum.

Hey Lyddie I forgot to congratulate YOU on 7 months! That totally rocks! I am really proud of you:)

I really have no plans to treat myself. I am just grateful I made it. 90 days is huge for me. I am grateful for all I have been given back of my life. Honestly another sober day will be my treat. I see beyond alcohol now, but it isn't paved in gold and glitter just glimpses here and there. That is good enough for me. I am going to keep on keepin on! To infinity and beyond! Ha I just dorked myself out!

Anyway I vacuumed my whole house today, steam mopped the tile floors,sinks and toilets, did 3 loads of laundry, cooked a huge dinner, went to drugstore and the park, did the dishes twice in one kitchen and once in mine! Oh and also picked up all DD toys, and gave her a bath. Can you say exhaustion?

TJ I am glad you are getting help with organizing. It would def be hard to maintain with 3 kids. I don't know how you manage. A comedy sounds good I may have to do the same.

Shoei, sucks you lost your post. But at least your still sober. LOL! I am glad things are going good for you with your room mate. I remember that was one of your first post complaints. I think Dee and I were the only ones still posting everyday back then. I was thankful for the company:)

How have you been HFA? Long time and nada! I hope your doing good friend. Let a sista know!

Well Thank you all in advanced for my 90 day. Thank you for listening to my insecurities, and helping me pick myself up and out of the whole when I fell. You guys make me happy.

Dee, You are my rock! Thank you for your caring, consistent replies. I needed every one of them. You're my saving grace.

So enough of me, have a happy Sunday!:grouphug:

DAY 89

Congrats on the 7 months, Lyddie and the 90 days, Beth. Forgive me for not keeping up with the milestones/numbers.... I'm doing all I can to do get to 30 :)

I'm off to yoga this morning and then the dreaded weekly grocery shopping. I guess a lot of people will be partying today with the Superbowl. That is not a problem for me. For some reason, I never associated drinking with watching sports. Funny how we are all different that way. Besides, I truly lost interest in the whole thing as soon as the Patriots lost. I may turn it on for fun... but that's about it.

I had a really strange dream last night that I was back in college. It felt so real and my actual college friends were in the dream. It was odd because it was the start of a semester and we were all trying to figure out what to do for the weekend. I decided to go swimming in this pool (WTF?) and then I saw all my good friends drinking at a outdoor bar. I was trying to decide whether to join them. The next thing I know I have this small baby that I'm carrying around and have to take care of. WEIRD!!!!!

Okay, I'm off.