Class of October 2010 Sobriety Group Part 3
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Sorry you're stll being tormented by thoughts Hils. Have you given any thought to what else you could do for your recovery right now?
and...the monthly threads definitely have an ebb and flow - this one seems to have been more active longer than most actually
For some SR becomes a permanent thing - for others it's not...
I like to think at least some of the folks no longer here are still doing ok- they're just not posting as much.
As Carol says, people come, people go - we wish them all well on their journey
D
and...the monthly threads definitely have an ebb and flow - this one seems to have been more active longer than most actually
For some SR becomes a permanent thing - for others it's not...
I like to think at least some of the folks no longer here are still doing ok- they're just not posting as much.
As Carol says, people come, people go - we wish them all well on their journey
D
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Thanks for the kind thoughts everyone. Court went as expected. Losing my license starting Sunday, I'll have to do some jail time, 18 month repeat offender program...kinda the standard sentence for a 2nd offense DUI. It won't be finalized til Monday when I go back but at least I know what I'm dealing with. None of it was a surprise and I'm glad I wasn't kidding myself into thinking that 168 recorded AA meetings was going to swing the judge into saying 'time served' because that didn't happen.
Moo Moos, Hills, I've never been able to have some champagne. Well maybe there was the rare time here or there, predominantly in my life though, once alcohol is in my system I want more and more and more. And people of value and importance in my life are utterly stripped of any importance or special meaning once alcohol has me in it's teeth. I never want to drink around my loved ones again for fear of losing them.
That's why I personally can't have some of anything, because I don't know what will happen next....
I'm not sure what the cause of your low is now, but I'm sure it'll turn around if you give it time and do your best to keep looking for the small but beautiful good things that life has brought to you, especially in your sobriety.
Dee, Akasha, Carribean, TDC, Isa - hope all the rest of you are doing well too!
Moo- I like how you ended your post, getting positive tomorrow. Keep your eyes open, I think every sober 'tomorrow' has the chance to bring us miracles if we are open to experiencing them!
Moo Moos, Hills, I've never been able to have some champagne. Well maybe there was the rare time here or there, predominantly in my life though, once alcohol is in my system I want more and more and more. And people of value and importance in my life are utterly stripped of any importance or special meaning once alcohol has me in it's teeth. I never want to drink around my loved ones again for fear of losing them.
That's why I personally can't have some of anything, because I don't know what will happen next....
I'm not sure what the cause of your low is now, but I'm sure it'll turn around if you give it time and do your best to keep looking for the small but beautiful good things that life has brought to you, especially in your sobriety.
Dee, Akasha, Carribean, TDC, Isa - hope all the rest of you are doing well too!
Moo- I like how you ended your post, getting positive tomorrow.
Keep your eyes open, I think every sober 'tomorrow' has the chance to bring us miracles if we are open to experiencing them!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Thank you Dee.
Coming to the close of another day in sobriety. So far in sobriety I feel like each day that passes I've been fortunate enough to learn something, give something back or improve in some area if I'm able to step back and see what that thing or area was for the day. And so each day has been a slow process of bringing some small thing of 'goodness' into my life, which taken individually may not seem like much..but when I pause and step back and allow myself to take in the 'big' picture I see a whole bunch of little good things sorta growing upwards like a tower in front of me. I don't want to knock that tower of goodness over and I think the only way that can happen is if I go back into my addictions..mainly alcohol, but that's also been a serious gateway substance for me in my past.
Yeah, that's how I feel today. Grateful for my invisible tower of goodness that is a direct result of staying sober and working on being a better person - God knows it was long overdue, changing my ways.
Thanks to everyone here at SR, in our class especially, for the continued support on this journey.
I hope everyone is doing good tonight and Moo Moos I hope you feel better when you wake up tomorrow!
Coming to the close of another day in sobriety. So far in sobriety I feel like each day that passes I've been fortunate enough to learn something, give something back or improve in some area if I'm able to step back and see what that thing or area was for the day. And so each day has been a slow process of bringing some small thing of 'goodness' into my life, which taken individually may not seem like much..but when I pause and step back and allow myself to take in the 'big' picture I see a whole bunch of little good things sorta growing upwards like a tower in front of me. I don't want to knock that tower of goodness over and I think the only way that can happen is if I go back into my addictions..mainly alcohol, but that's also been a serious gateway substance for me in my past.
Yeah, that's how I feel today. Grateful for my invisible tower of goodness that is a direct result of staying sober and working on being a better person - God knows it was long overdue, changing my ways.
Thanks to everyone here at SR, in our class especially, for the continued support on this journey.
I hope everyone is doing good tonight and Moo Moos I hope you feel better when you wake up tomorrow!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Posts: 757
Well good morning class.
Pulled a 'sleeper on the couch' last night! Which is fine, I've done that a few times (3?) since getting sober. It's always enjoyable to wake up on the couch at 2am, realize I'm on the couch, and say whatever I can stay put or move into the bedroom....no pounding headaches, sickening nausea, shakes, sweats, etc. to deal with...Icing on the cake, but still worth recognizing.
Heading to work a little bit late, hope everyone has a great day! I look forward to some posts to read this evening *wink* *wink*
Pulled a 'sleeper on the couch' last night! Which is fine, I've done that a few times (3?) since getting sober. It's always enjoyable to wake up on the couch at 2am, realize I'm on the couch, and say whatever I can stay put or move into the bedroom....no pounding headaches, sickening nausea, shakes, sweats, etc. to deal with...Icing on the cake, but still worth recognizing.
Heading to work a little bit late, hope everyone has a great day! I look forward to some posts to read this evening *wink* *wink*
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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Good Evening everyone, just reading Swan and the outcome of the court case. You are very brave. Thank God I have never been involved with the law and it all sounds very scary to me. I admire your spirit and your ownership of the offence and the punishment. Stay positive.
Well my day has gone much better than previous ones and I do feel better than yesterday. I was working this morning and then I collected my daughter from preschool and popped over to my sister in laws for the afternoon which was fantastic and better than any tonic the doctor could have given me. She is like my unofficial sponsor in life. I told her exactly how I felt etc etc. Our kids played happily together then we all got our hats and coats on and headed for a long walk which was great. Fresh air and chatting...nothing better for the soul....well maybe a bike Tom!!
I came home and achieved a serious of mundane tasks that I couldn’t be bothered with all week. So hopefully my positivity will return. I actually do not think it was as much about the alcohol, more the feeling of Groundhog Day and the need of something exciting!!! Mental note - when bored..get off bum and change it!!! I am out with work tomorrow evening and nothing has changed...I will not consume alcohol and I will have fun!!
R4R in my darkness yesterday I forgot to congratulate you on your 4 months which is a great achievement, so well done and I hope you are feeling better today. Like Swan said it is important to keep posting even if it is to moan like me yesterday. ps Thanks Swan for being there.
Dee thanks too for the advice. Can I ask you a question? Is it enough just to stay sober to stay in recovery? I know why I drank and really do not want to analysise it anymore. I just want to stay sober..is this enough? Anyway night night..hope you all have a great sober weekend
Well my day has gone much better than previous ones and I do feel better than yesterday. I was working this morning and then I collected my daughter from preschool and popped over to my sister in laws for the afternoon which was fantastic and better than any tonic the doctor could have given me. She is like my unofficial sponsor in life. I told her exactly how I felt etc etc. Our kids played happily together then we all got our hats and coats on and headed for a long walk which was great. Fresh air and chatting...nothing better for the soul....well maybe a bike Tom!!
I came home and achieved a serious of mundane tasks that I couldn’t be bothered with all week. So hopefully my positivity will return. I actually do not think it was as much about the alcohol, more the feeling of Groundhog Day and the need of something exciting!!! Mental note - when bored..get off bum and change it!!! I am out with work tomorrow evening and nothing has changed...I will not consume alcohol and I will have fun!!
R4R in my darkness yesterday I forgot to congratulate you on your 4 months which is a great achievement, so well done and I hope you are feeling better today. Like Swan said it is important to keep posting even if it is to moan like me yesterday. ps Thanks Swan for being there.
Dee thanks too for the advice. Can I ask you a question? Is it enough just to stay sober to stay in recovery? I know why I drank and really do not want to analysise it anymore. I just want to stay sober..is this enough? Anyway night night..hope you all have a great sober weekend
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Hi Hils
Judging on some posts, it seems to be enough for some, but answering for me - just being sober was not enough for me, no.
I believe I had to analyse why I drank - and face some pretty deep painful stuff. It was necessary for me to 'deal with my demons' and put them to rest...if I hadn't have done that, I'd have just been the same Dee, same problems - only now with no solution cos I wasn't drinking.
I figured the outcome there would be obvious.
If you think you've analysed it enough, Moo then fair play to you...but - if I can throw you a toughie - why do you think you're still struggling a little? (no need to answer me if you don't want to )
D
Judging on some posts, it seems to be enough for some, but answering for me - just being sober was not enough for me, no.
I believe I had to analyse why I drank - and face some pretty deep painful stuff. It was necessary for me to 'deal with my demons' and put them to rest...if I hadn't have done that, I'd have just been the same Dee, same problems - only now with no solution cos I wasn't drinking.
I figured the outcome there would be obvious.
If you think you've analysed it enough, Moo then fair play to you...but - if I can throw you a toughie - why do you think you're still struggling a little? (no need to answer me if you don't want to
)D
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Swan, So glad you are facing this with a positive attitude. You are brave. Hope to hear from you Monday evening.
Moos, I believe Dee is right. Here we are still struggling with life and no way to hide that pain. I know I have a lot of issues to face before I can be free.
Moos, I believe Dee is right. Here we are still struggling with life and no way to hide that pain. I know I have a lot of issues to face before I can be free.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Good evening everyone.
Moo I'm happy to hear you're having a better day today.
I appreciate you asking that question, I think it's a very important topic. Probably a very personal one too. Personal in the sense of each of us coming to our own conclusions, hopefully you're ok with each of us sharing our perspective on the issue as it relates to us. It's probably safe to assume from my posts how I feel about recovery and sobriety.
But if I was to rephrase it or answer the question again I'd imagine it would be that not drinking provides me with sobriety.
Moving from where I was, and where I am to what I want to be and can hopefully become is what I consider recovery. Putting the two together, and maybe this is just rewording Akasha's and Dee's responses, putting the two together seems to result in having contented sobriety. On some days it's blissful sobriety. I feel like for me without adding the recovery into the equation I'd just be sober. Same me, just no alcohol involved. And from my past experiences just not drinking alone won't last for long, I'll eventually become discontent or have to face some difficult real life matter and without doing any work on myself - why I drank, what my issues are, how I can change, what to change, what kind of person do I want to be and become - if I avoid all those I will return to the bottle. I know I will. It was pretty painful early on and sometimes still is but for me, by working through my issues I've been having a shift in my outlook on people, myself & life and that shift keeps making me more and more grateful for my sobriety.
Dee's choice of words 'deal with my daemons' and Akasha's words 'before I can be free' were and are 100% applicable to me.
I think TDC mentioned that he too would get around 100ish days and go back to the bottle - when he checks in I'd like to hear his thoughts on this (TDC if you don't mind sharing your experience with the class, I for one am curious) but maybe what I said above might line up with his past experiences. Meaning just staying sober, I've put 30 days up to 90 days and once almost 6 months together without a drop of liquor. Not a drop of work went into 'me' either, hence somewhere between day X and day Y I always went back. This time around I'm actually happy and each day I work on my recovery while staying sober, as Akasha said, I become a little bit freer.
Funny I googled 'freer' to make sure the spelling was correct cuz it looks funny and this popped up:
Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes
I'd say I'm becoming less and less under the control of the old me, the me that drinks to avoid feeling and dealing with life. Again- this is just me. As Dee said you'll have to decide this based on how you feel inside.
Great topic for discussion! Especially here in our class in a recovery forum!
Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm off to my Tuesday night meeting.
Moo I'm happy to hear you're having a better day today.
I appreciate you asking that question, I think it's a very important topic. Probably a very personal one too. Personal in the sense of each of us coming to our own conclusions, hopefully you're ok with each of us sharing our perspective on the issue as it relates to us. It's probably safe to assume from my posts how I feel about recovery and sobriety.
But if I was to rephrase it or answer the question again I'd imagine it would be that not drinking provides me with sobriety.
Moving from where I was, and where I am to what I want to be and can hopefully become is what I consider recovery. Putting the two together, and maybe this is just rewording Akasha's and Dee's responses, putting the two together seems to result in having contented sobriety. On some days it's blissful sobriety. I feel like for me without adding the recovery into the equation I'd just be sober. Same me, just no alcohol involved. And from my past experiences just not drinking alone won't last for long, I'll eventually become discontent or have to face some difficult real life matter and without doing any work on myself - why I drank, what my issues are, how I can change, what to change, what kind of person do I want to be and become - if I avoid all those I will return to the bottle. I know I will. It was pretty painful early on and sometimes still is but for me, by working through my issues I've been having a shift in my outlook on people, myself & life and that shift keeps making me more and more grateful for my sobriety.
Dee's choice of words 'deal with my daemons' and Akasha's words 'before I can be free' were and are 100% applicable to me.
I think TDC mentioned that he too would get around 100ish days and go back to the bottle - when he checks in I'd like to hear his thoughts on this (TDC if you don't mind sharing your experience with the class, I for one am curious) but maybe what I said above might line up with his past experiences. Meaning just staying sober, I've put 30 days up to 90 days and once almost 6 months together without a drop of liquor. Not a drop of work went into 'me' either, hence somewhere between day X and day Y I always went back. This time around I'm actually happy and each day I work on my recovery while staying sober, as Akasha said, I become a little bit freer.
Funny I googled 'freer' to make sure the spelling was correct cuz it looks funny and this popped up:
Not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or be done as one wishes
I'd say I'm becoming less and less under the control of the old me, the me that drinks to avoid feeling and dealing with life. Again- this is just me. As Dee said you'll have to decide this based on how you feel inside.
Great topic for discussion! Especially here in our class in a recovery forum!
Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm off to my Tuesday night meeting.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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4 months today
Thanks to everyone on SR I am 120 days sober today.
So tired so I'll keep this short: I don't miss alcohol, I wish I had never had the first sip of beer when I was 14, and by the grace of God I didn't wreck my life.
But starting 120 days ago, the amount of "life" in my life has at least tripled.
Thanks everyone. All your stories are inspirations and sometimes, just big ol' red warning signs which scare me into thinking, "Holy s*** that coulda been me."
No that I don't have some doozies, I do. Some other time
So tired so I'll keep this short: I don't miss alcohol, I wish I had never had the first sip of beer when I was 14, and by the grace of God I didn't wreck my life.
But starting 120 days ago, the amount of "life" in my life has at least tripled.
Thanks everyone. All your stories are inspirations and sometimes, just big ol' red warning signs which scare me into thinking, "Holy s*** that coulda been me."
No that I don't have some doozies, I do. Some other time
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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Posts: 757
Happy Sober Friday class.
Egypt is celebrating this morning, and so should we. For different reasons of course, but I say let's have a Class of October sober Friday party today!
There, I threw some 'bling' in for good measure! Peace!
Egypt is celebrating this morning, and so should we. For different reasons of course, but I say let's have a Class of October sober Friday party today!
There, I threw some 'bling' in for good measure!
Peace!
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
See, I'm off for a couple (few) days and I missed the 'Friday Party' HaHa
I'm maintaining at the moment. Been too busy this week with work and other stuff that I haven't had time to feel anything, so it's kind of been a welcome relief.
For me - I seemed to fall after a few months back into the same drinking pattern after stopping. Just like the urges I've had as of late - last weekend being the worst so far.... it's because I'm actually feeling stuff and trying to deal with it. More specifically, it's in getting intensely angry. Getting that mad and knowing how exactly to let it go in a constructive manner has caused me time and again to go back to drinking or even smoking (quit for 1 year and 9 mos and went back because I was angry). Now it's been almost 4 years... This time, I've done neither and the feelings of anger are more borderlining on rage - which brings an overwhelming urge to 'check out'. So, maybe when those urges come and if they are coming at a steady pace, we should ask ourselves what needs to be brought out and dealt with (or healed up) in our lives - so we can move on.
Ok, that's my take on the whole thing.
Grateful - really happy for your 4 months!!! Great Job!
Have a wonderful night everyone.
HaHaI'm maintaining at the moment. Been too busy this week with work and other stuff that I haven't had time to feel anything, so it's kind of been a welcome relief.
For me - I seemed to fall after a few months back into the same drinking pattern after stopping. Just like the urges I've had as of late - last weekend being the worst so far.... it's because I'm actually feeling stuff and trying to deal with it. More specifically, it's in getting intensely angry. Getting that mad and knowing how exactly to let it go in a constructive manner has caused me time and again to go back to drinking or even smoking (quit for 1 year and 9 mos and went back because I was angry). Now it's been almost 4 years... This time, I've done neither and the feelings of anger are more borderlining on rage - which brings an overwhelming urge to 'check out'. So, maybe when those urges come and if they are coming at a steady pace, we should ask ourselves what needs to be brought out and dealt with (or healed up) in our lives - so we can move on.
Ok, that's my take on the whole thing.
Grateful - really happy for your 4 months!!! Great Job!
Have a wonderful night everyone.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: A Much Happier Place!
Posts: 91
hi folks, busy sober weekend...hope you are all well. Swan sorry I missed your Friday night party I was actually there but reading on my phone which for some reason would not let me acknowledge or let me sign in to let you know I was there...Back to the old laptop tonight...usual place tucked up in bed.
Gratefull1010 BIG BIG congrats on the big 120...such a brilliant achievement..
Had a nice weekend, still had those nagging thoughts but just plodded on..I will post more to explain tomorrow. Good night everyone
Gratefull1010 BIG BIG congrats on the big 120...such a brilliant achievement..
Had a nice weekend, still had those nagging thoughts but just plodded on..I will post more to explain tomorrow. Good night everyone
Last edited by Moo Moos; 02-13-2011 at 02:45 PM. Reason: typing to quick.....lol lol
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So, maybe when those urges come and if they are coming at a steady pace, we should ask ourselves what needs to be brought out and dealt with (or healed up) in our lives - so we can move on.
I agree with you - any emotion that sends me over the edge like that I really have to watch - even now...
D
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Hi fellow Octoberlings. Just got back into town a few hours ago. I had a great weekend in Dallas with my wife and son (without my computer) but my work floodgates opened up a couple of weeks and I was working right up to the time it was time to go to the airport.
I will try to read and catch up soon, but I don't like to be too far away without poking in every few days so you guys won't think I fell of the wagon.
See you soon.
I will try to read and catch up soon, but I don't like to be too far away without poking in every few days so you guys won't think I fell of the wagon.
See you soon.
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