least

I needed to read that today! THanks for posting it.

Lisa, your nephew is cute as a button and your daughter is gorgeous.

The last few weeks newmommy-kid and defiant kid have both been really nice to me. Polite and sweet. Not pushing my buttons or getting mad or asking for ridiculous things. I don't know what this is, but I'm grateful for it. Maybe they're respecting my boundaries, maybe they're just being extra nice to go with the Christmas spirit. Doesn't matter why, I'm just glad to be getting along better with them both.

The last couple weeks have been kinda rough but things are smoothing out a bit. Do'nt feel as depressed or anxious as I had been feeling. Today has been good so far. Did some errands for newmommy-kid and then watched grandson for a bit while newmommy did something for herself. He's getting so cute these days. Sits up on his own and even walks holding on to the furniture. Smiles and claps his hands and is saying "hi" in his own way, imitating all the "hi"s he gets from visitors. Cute as anything and smiles a lot.

(((Amy))) and (((Mariposa))) and (((hugs))) for everyone!

grateful2b

(((((Amy)))) I am sad to hear about your XABF....and this must be very difficult, but I think once the emotions settle a little, you will find that there was a healing purpose for passing through that part of your life......


((Lisa)) thank you for sharing a picture of your beautiful daughter and nephew...precious...
I have been thinking about you, so I am glad you checked in...I have missed your shares....be good to you.. we will keep your seat warm

Least, you made my day..I am soo glad to hear how well things are going in your life!..hugs

Tena, SG, and everyone else..Hugs!

Impurrfect

(((Least))) - so glad that dk and newmommy are behaving, and little one sounds adorable!!!

((Grateful)) the reading, today was perfect. I'm going through all kinds of emotions. Been crying in between doing my stores, alternating with periods of gratefulness...my own little roller coaster. Got home, frustrated about bills piling up. I told dad I was angry at stepmom, worried about Brit having enough pairs of jeans, while he and I were worried about surviving! Dumb thing to do, as he started in on her as soon as she walked in the door.

However, they were able to talk it out. Before that, though, he got mad at her and I was able to point out that HE was interrupting HER, the very thing he always gets mad at HER about. He had started to storm out the door, but came back in and we talked.

I keep having to remind him that Brit DOESN'T have any concept of saving money, paying bills, etc. and neither did I, at 16. She DID spend her money on presents for us, before she ever went shopping for herself, even though I told her she didn't have to get me anything, and she works every hour she can.

It's a process and we continue to work.

I've got to write a letter to my "boy" in prison. My ex practically raised him - he was with C's mom for 7 years. C lost his brother in a car wreck, when I was locked up, now this. He kept hoping, like me, that my ex would get his act together. He's another one who has been very supportive of me, has never asked for anything, just keeps telling me "you keep doing good, girl...I'm so proud of you!!!"

Thank God for waterproof mascara

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Anna

Lisa,

Your daughter is so pretty and your little nephew is beyond cute!

Least,

I am glad that you are feeling better and moving forward again. And, there's nothing like baby smiles to make you feel good about life!

Amy,

You inspire me with your ability to deal with everything that's going on in your life. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back.


Son, daughter & baby Jade (2 months old) arrive on Sunday to spend ten days with us. I am beyond excited!
Hugs to everyone!

grateful2b

Anna You read my mind...I was going to ask you for updates on your grandbabies...
Ten days...How wonderful!...I am so excited for you

Impurrfect

(((Anna))) - oooh, I'm so excited for you!!!

I tried to cook dad dinner, again, tonight. He got a call and headed out the door to NC. Some day, I will actually get the casserole COOKED

I got my letter written, and for some reason, am feeling a bit better. I guess it's like "talking" to someone who knew the ex, even though it's not actually talking. I've gotten a tremendous amount of support, both from my friends here and even dad, stepmom and Brit. It's not the same, though, as "talking" to someone you can share memories with.

I'm actually a bit proud of myself. I have xanax prescribed - 1mg three times a day. I NEVER take that many. I've only taken one to sleep last night. That is SOOOO different from the "old me" who would have taken a handful to numb out. Even when I think I WANT to be numb, these days, the recovery side of me is stronger and says "no you don't".

I am very grateful.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Mariposa18

Hey Guys~ Just stopping by to let you know I'll be out of town from tomorrow until Saturday. So don't think I disappeared on you!

I've been told that the family friend who is in the hospital is now responsive and that there is a good chance she will recover. I pray this is the case because her Sons are devastated. Apparently she left a suicide note in which she said horrible things about her oldest. I don't know what was written, but I pray she pulls through and is able to repair the relationship with her Sons. If, God forbid, she passes away I don't even want to imagine the devastation that will be left behind, specially because of the letter.

My Daughter ( who is 5) was diagnosed with Asthma today, not full blown or severe, but she is now on a daily inhaler along with her nebulizer treatments. The Pediatrician said Cats, Dogs and Smoke are her worst enemies. Well, we don't smoke but we do have a dog and a cat that we've had since before she was even born. It's never been a problem and I'm almost positive what triggered this was going to my Inlaws and her walking into a smoke filled room (FIL smokes) She had been getting better and hadn't even as much as coughed in 2 days before that. So for now I'm keeping the Cat in the back porch, cutting my Dog's hair short, buying a hepa filter vacuum and filters for the rooms. Also as soon as possible I'll be buying leather couches, as not to have pet hair clinging to them. However all that takes money that we don't have at the moment, but we'll figure it out. Again, I know the trigger was the freaking smoke but I need to make the house as dust/hair free as possible. The thought that I may even have to give up my Dog or Cat crushes me, but Hubby says that won't be necessary and there is no way we will give them up. That will hurt us and the Children so much, I can't even tell you. We'll do everything possible to avoid that .But if the choice has to be made...I don't even want to think it. I just want my Baby to be okay. What gives me hope is that my Son had a very similar thing happen when he was exactly this age and he outgrew it, so here's praying this is the case as well.

On a vanity note, I'm gaining weight and my complexion is a complete and utter mess with all this stress. I know I shouldn't complain, but I feel so emotionally exhausted and the appearance issues don't help. Hubby says I'm being too hard on myself, but I wouldn't expect him to say any different. I could have warts growing on my nose and he'd tell me I'm beautiful. The he tells me there is an 80% chance of rain (meaning it's GOING to rain) on Friday which is the day we are supposed to go to the amusement park. Seriously...I"m so over it...

I know I'm complaining and whining, I"m sorry. I just needed to get this out. I feel like I need a good cry...

Impurrfect

(((Mariposa))) - if she hasn't had trouble with the dog and cat, I wouldn't worry too much, especially if your son went through something similar. I was really allergic to cats when I was younger, but have 3 of them now. I still get sneezy/stuffed up when one of them is laying on my chest and in my face, but I just take an OTC allergy med, because I have allergies, anyway. No way I'm getting rid of my furbabies!

I'm with you on the gaining weight. I won't even LOOK at a scale, much less STEP on one....sigh.

I hope you have a good weekend, and the rain decides to go elsewhere

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Gypsy Feet

Thanks grateful, that means the world to me. ((((Amy)))) (((((Suz))))

Anna, Grateful and Least, I am so happy for the good family times you all are having, I have been really enjoying my family as well. I am continually amazed at the Power of the Light, and looking back, I can see the dark has its power as well. I'm doing some pretty messy recovery work now, lots of icky stuff I had hidden in the secret parts of me. While I am going through this hard junk, the universe has seen fit to surround me with people who love me, and I feel Gods grace.

I am hoping that all of this coincides with the year anniversary the night that changed it all, and the usual mayhem of the holidays (quite different mayhem sober and accepting I must say), and that the new year finds my life a bit less eventful.

In the mean time, I peak in every day, my heart is with you all. I have another packed weekend ahead, plus work is crazy busy. I am looking forward to Sunday, as I think I have the house to myself and I will be finishing all of the hand made gifts going out this year, so it will be santa's workshop here=)

I am making a toad house (or village, depending on time and supplies) for my sister, decorating sleds for my mom and nephew and making candy for lots of people Id like to give a little holiday cheer to.

I love you all!!

least

Mariposa, I'm with Amy on this one. My daughter was diagnosed when she was small with allergies, especially to cats. We had a lot of cats at that time and she opted for allergy shots cause she didn't want to give up the cats. She got shots for two years then was no longer allergic and didn't need the shots cause she wasn't having problems anymore.

Do what you can to keep the house dust and hair free. I couldn't give up my dogs or cats either. I'd rather take allergy meds and blow my nose a lot! I just can't give up my animals. I hope your child outgrows it. (((hugs)))

grateful2b

You are reading from The Language Of Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990 The Hazelden Foundation


Taking Care Of Yourself Emotionally


December 16


What does it mean to care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I am feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.

I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.

I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I have made a decision that it is okay to feel.

Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one.

I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too.

I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe.

I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.

I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feelings, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself.


Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.

grateful2b

These last two readings are wonderful and timely...
I spent most of my younger life hiding in my intellect, afraid to really feel too much, leaving me empty, lonely and lopsided.

Now older, wiser, I am no longer afraid to embrace my emotional self and it has strengthened me.

As I have PTSD and BP2, it is even more important that I try to maintain balance in my life.

I love the ride of living my feelings, and my intellect, together they make the ride sweet and I feel alive.

There are times that I can get pulled off too much to one side or the other, trying to process something new or old, but that is all part of the process of life...

****

Suz, I am terribly allergic to dust, cigarette smoke and chemicals,and use an inhaler, but if I am allergic to my cats(probably am), I too, would reach for allergy meds....love my girls...

I sympathize with your concern regarding the animals, and I hope your daughter allergies settle....I pray that they do...

Your plan is a good one, very comprehensive...and I think you are right about the smoke being the trigger...

The weight and complexion issues are more so at this time of year, eh..I am glad your Husband is so supportive, Suz

Lisa, you sound SO good; so spiritually grounded, in spite of the ickiness, yay you! ....I would love to be there with you, working on crafts and having a cuppa...megahugs

Amy I am happy for you that you have finished your letter, a wonderfully healing exercise, eh....I am glad you have a little bit of support med-wise...

Impurrfect

My oil light came on in my car yesterday....sigh. I need an oil change, so have the stuff and am headed to my mechanic buddy to see if he can change it. If not, the oil IS low and I will just put more in until he can change it. He is like a ray of sunshine...you'd never know that his A daughter has been MIA for 5 years and he is raising his grandson (her son) who has cerebral palsy. I stop by, often, just to see him and give him a hug

Dad gave me a partial payment on the money for our trip to MO and I can get one of my credit cards back under the limit, and pay on the other card. They are burning my phone up (I haven't answered) and sending me e-mails all day. It will be nice to not hear from them!!

I'm headed out and hoping to have a tear-free day. I know I'm not done with the grief, but I am ready to get past the waterworks....we'll see. If the tears come, they come.

Here's another "Ralph" I thought was really good and wanted to share. Along with today's reading, I get something from them both.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Align your habits
+++++++++++++++++++

You are making decisions all the time and those decisions
directly affect the way your life unfolds. Your level of
success and fulfillment depends on how often and how well
those decisions line up with your dreams.

Certainly when you're contemplating the big, noticeable
decisions, you make sure they align with your values and
purposes. But what about all the little momentary decisions
you're constantly making?

Those seemingly small decisions have great power because
there are so many more of them. And they're decisions you
can often make without even thinking about them.

Those unthinking decisions are known as habits. A habit is a
decision you make once that is carried out again and again.

Though each action done by habit may be small, the
cumulative effect on your life can be enormous. The way to
move your life in the direction you choose, is to make sure
that all your many habits are working with you rather than
against you.

Take the time and make the effort to align your habits with
your goals and dreams. Improving those little habits can
truly be the biggest decision you make.

Ralph Marston

grateful2b

ooh, a good Ralph, thanks,
((((((Amy)))))
I hope things are beginning to soften...
I heard your hip is sore...ouch the nerve bundle in one of your cheeks may be inflamed....ice?
Hope you feel better

SerenityGirl

Thanks Grateful and Amy for the readings...hugs...

Anna

SG,

I am glad that your daughter is getting the treatment she needs for her asthma, but clearly it's difficult for the family. I hope she will stay healthy. I agree with you, that getting rid of the pets 'might' help her asthma, but it would do so much damage to the family, so hopefully you guys can work it out.

Gypsy,

I'm glad things are going well for you.

Amy, Least, we do have a group of animal lovers on this thread, don't we!


Very Cool! On my way into my apartment after work today, there were lots of people lined up on the sidewalk, even though it was cold and dark at 6PM. I looked up the street, and the Olympic Flame was making its way down the road, right in front of my building. I am a most un-sporty person, but that was very cool!

Impurrfect

((Anna)) how cool! We still have a statue of the olympic flame from when the olympics were held here.

Yes, ((Grateful))..I was pulling my left shoe off with my right toe and my hip went "pop"...I could hear and feel it. Called my dr., but can't get in and need to talk to the nurse to get any meds, and it was 4:15, so will try tomorrow. Trying the ice, but wow, it hurts. I would actually go to an ER or urgent care if it weren't so darned expensive, even with insurance. My hip is stable, I'm able to walk, but I got a good reminder of how many muscles are involved in keeping a hip stable.

Brit is in a fowl mood...she's having breakthrough bleeding and cramps. This has been going on for months, and she wants to go to the ER for pain meds. I told her this is NOT an emergency (she's on medicaid so we don't have to pay) and she needs to keep track of when this happens, like my stepmom told her, and she needs to see her dr. We are talking about a tiny amount of bleeding..you'd think she was hemorrhaging.

I finally got to cook dad his dinner and he is inhaling it. I did good....it DOES taste just like moms He got mad because stepmom won't eat it...she doesn't like tuna. I told him people like what they like...get over it!

Guess the good moods are wearing off, but I'm not letting them influence MY mood.

We have a chance of snow moving in....like when I get off work tomorrow or Sat. night. I may be trying to hunt down a bulldozer to get home (the southern version of a snow-scraper)

Just got a call...I'm delivering a package BACK to Macon in the morning. I will NOT be looking up anyone...just down there and back. I've got to pick it up at 7, so will be getting to bed early.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Anna

Amy,

The hip problem sounds painful. I hope you can get the care that you need.

Have a safe trip!

Impurrfect

Just to let you know I made the trip okay. It's raining like crazy and windy/cold, but the chance of snow is a very remote one, now. Dad is heading to NC, where there is more of a chance, but I'll say a prayer and let him go

I actually got paid, already, and made more than I thought I would. I also got a notice from the IRS on one of the jobs I'd applied for - the position where I'd previously gotten a notice that I was NOT being referred, as I wasn't "as qualified"...well, they said I meet requirements and would be sending me info by e-mail for the next step in the application...wow!

I woke up at 3, dad and stepmom were up and traipsing around the house, for some reason. Never could go back to sleep, so I'm going down for a nap before work. I called my dr's office, again..the secretary is going to talk to the Dr. (my favorite nurse is off)..walking is not very easy, today.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Mariposa18

We're back...mother nature didn't cooperate and my Daughter is too sick to be out in that weather. We'll try again in a few weeks =(

Oh and to top it off I was insulted by a complete stranger at Starbucks...about my weight. Seriously...