Codependency And Beyond - Part 10
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
brrrrrr, temps are in the single digits today with the wind chill factor. Getting my stuff together to head to my mechanic then do some stores...not really THRILLED about it, but duty calls
Elvis is acting more of himself, though is still not up to par. At least I feel okay with leaving him at home. He fought me the last time I gave him water, so I told him "just drink it and we won't have to DO this!!" Good to see some spunkiness and "whining" back in him!
I'm leaving you with another good "Ralph" for the day, going to head my day off thinking of my "difficulties" as simply challenges. Got a good night's sleep, and that ALWAYS helps!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Difficult and beautiful
+++++++++++++++++++
Life can be very beautiful and life can be very difficult.
Learn to appreciate the beauty so much that the difficulties
cannot bring you down.
The way to deal with life's difficulties is not to avoid
them. The way to successfully deal with those difficulties
is to overwhelm them.
Be more persistent than your most persistent problems. Use
your creativity, your flexibility, your ingenuity and your
passion to make your way forward no matter what.
Treasure the beauty in even the smallest, most seemingly
insignificant things. Connect with the abundance that is
woven through every fiber of life.
See each moment as an opportunity to make a small
difference. Those small steps you make forward will soon add
up to create big results.
Life can at times be difficult, but so what? The immense
beauty and possibilities for joy are worth far more than all
the troubles combined.
Ralph Marston
Elvis is acting more of himself, though is still not up to par. At least I feel okay with leaving him at home. He fought me the last time I gave him water, so I told him "just drink it and we won't have to DO this!!" Good to see some spunkiness and "whining" back in him!
I'm leaving you with another good "Ralph" for the day, going to head my day off thinking of my "difficulties" as simply challenges. Got a good night's sleep, and that ALWAYS helps!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Difficult and beautiful
+++++++++++++++++++
Life can be very beautiful and life can be very difficult.
Learn to appreciate the beauty so much that the difficulties
cannot bring you down.
The way to deal with life's difficulties is not to avoid
them. The way to successfully deal with those difficulties
is to overwhelm them.
Be more persistent than your most persistent problems. Use
your creativity, your flexibility, your ingenuity and your
passion to make your way forward no matter what.
Treasure the beauty in even the smallest, most seemingly
insignificant things. Connect with the abundance that is
woven through every fiber of life.
See each moment as an opportunity to make a small
difference. Those small steps you make forward will soon add
up to create big results.
Life can at times be difficult, but so what? The immense
beauty and possibilities for joy are worth far more than all
the troubles combined.
Ralph Marston
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
((((Amy)))Yes, indeed... be careful in this cold, freezing weather. We are used to it up here...but we've been getting temps of -20 F...and even that is a bit too much. Our cars are not starting and it's bitter just going from the car to home.
I like the Ralph reading above...but it's a new concept for me. When there are BIG issues in my life I have a hard time seeing the beautiful. I think it goes back to my mom again...her beating it into me that some people are just destined to have crappy lives. With those kind of "glasses" on ...it has always been hard for me to find the positives...but I think I'm starting to.
Never in a million years did I think I'd be able to find even a modicum of peace when my son was in such turmoil.
In the past, I would have an anxiety attack if one of the kids was getting a B in a class....now my son is an out of control partier who has embarked on a much less prestigious path than the one that it seemed he was on....and I'm not dead.
No lie...I did have visions of ending it all when I even thought of him not getting into the academy ...now not only is he not there...but he doesn't much care about anything..and for the most part...I'm ok. I still struggle...but I'm ok. Go figure.
Thanks all...stay warm
Love,
Annie
I like the Ralph reading above...but it's a new concept for me. When there are BIG issues in my life I have a hard time seeing the beautiful. I think it goes back to my mom again...her beating it into me that some people are just destined to have crappy lives. With those kind of "glasses" on ...it has always been hard for me to find the positives...but I think I'm starting to.
Never in a million years did I think I'd be able to find even a modicum of peace when my son was in such turmoil.
In the past, I would have an anxiety attack if one of the kids was getting a B in a class....now my son is an out of control partier who has embarked on a much less prestigious path than the one that it seemed he was on....and I'm not dead.
No lie...I did have visions of ending it all when I even thought of him not getting into the academy ...now not only is he not there...but he doesn't much care about anything..and for the most part...I'm ok. I still struggle...but I'm ok. Go figure.Thanks all...stay warm
Love,
Annie
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Hi Everyone,
If you have time today, could you send me positive thoughts please!
My normally chronic insomnia is completely off the wall. For all of December, there was stress at work and so much going on at home, that I lost any sleep pattern that I had. So, my fibro is acting up due to loss of rest and I seem to be stuck to improve things in any way. I have tried melatonin and numerous other otc things. My dr keeps telling me that the amitriptyline at bedtime should help, but it doesn't do much.
Hugs to everyone, and Amy I'm thrilled that Elvis is feeling better.
If you have time today, could you send me positive thoughts please!
My normally chronic insomnia is completely off the wall. For all of December, there was stress at work and so much going on at home, that I lost any sleep pattern that I had. So, my fibro is acting up due to loss of rest and I seem to be stuck to improve things in any way. I have tried melatonin and numerous other otc things. My dr keeps telling me that the amitriptyline at bedtime should help, but it doesn't do much.
Hugs to everyone, and Amy I'm thrilled that Elvis is feeling better.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
You are reading from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990
Accepting Help
January 5
Some of us have felt so alienated that we have forgotten we're not alone. We've come to believe that we have to do it ourselves. Some of us have been abandoned. Some have gone without love. Some of us have struggled, had hard lessons to learn.
God's there, always ready to help. There is an ample supply of people to care about us too. We will, if we want it, receive love and support, comfort and nurturing. If we take the risk to ask for it, help is there. We can draw on the strength of our recovery group and allow ourselves to be helped and supported by our Higher Power. Friends will come, good friends.
We aren't alone. And we don't have to do it ourselves. We're not doing it ourselves. There is no shortage of love. Not anymore.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to do it alone and my belief that I am alone. Help me tap into Your Divine Power and Presence, and your resources for love, and support, and friendship. Open my eyes and heart so I can see the love, help, and support that's there for me. Help me know I am loved.
Accepting Help
January 5
Some of us have felt so alienated that we have forgotten we're not alone. We've come to believe that we have to do it ourselves. Some of us have been abandoned. Some have gone without love. Some of us have struggled, had hard lessons to learn.
God's there, always ready to help. There is an ample supply of people to care about us too. We will, if we want it, receive love and support, comfort and nurturing. If we take the risk to ask for it, help is there. We can draw on the strength of our recovery group and allow ourselves to be helped and supported by our Higher Power. Friends will come, good friends.
We aren't alone. And we don't have to do it ourselves. We're not doing it ourselves. There is no shortage of love. Not anymore.
Today, God, help me let go of my need to do it alone and my belief that I am alone. Help me tap into Your Divine Power and Presence, and your resources for love, and support, and friendship. Open my eyes and heart so I can see the love, help, and support that's there for me. Help me know I am loved.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by BigDreams1 
(((Grateful))) What a beautiful testimony your journey is. No matter how dark my days get...yours (and others here) help me not to give in to the pit but to realize a better day is coming. I respect and care about you deeply.
Anna, ouch...fibro acting up on top of no sleep...I empathize...my fibro is messed up too,
One of the ways to reset your body clock is to get up rediculously early, no coffee or stimulants of any kind...have no light in the room in which you are sleeping, no tv,..only soft, relaxing music...I prefer nature sounds and waves...and Sleepytime tea by Celestial Seasonings just before I lay my head down...when we are jammed up like this, the sleep meds aren't as effective...meditation just before you prepare to sleep will quiet your mind..
Your mind/body is probably over stimulated even though it may not feel it is...
you may have to do this routine for a couple of days but it is a wonderful way to get back into your normal sleeping pattern..
I hope you are sleeping like a baby soon
Amy, I have a sick kitty, too...I was seriously worried about her but she is starting to come around...she has a nasty bladder infection, and I have been giving her diluted Swedish Bitters which is working wonders
my prayers for Elvis...I pray he will be his old self soon
Amy, I love this Ralph.....another favorite!
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Anna, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with sleep again, it is maddening isn't it?
Grateful has a good plan...and you are in my thoughts!
My current sleep med isn't working either. I see the Dr tomorrow. I love that sleepytime tea, Grateful, I find it so very relaxing! I also have used the sleepytime extra. For awhile, the meditation was doing it for me..cleared my mind and I fell asleep very peacefully. I do stay away from all caffeine except for chocolate. Not ready to give that up!
I suppose I have grown careless.
It is tiring to be ever vigilant.
David has been so shamed by his mother over ever asking for anything, that I have been working on getting him to tell me what he wants, to ask me to get him things, etc. When he does, I smile and thank him and tell him I want him to feel comfortable with it, as I ask him for things and he is always accomadating.
So, the MIL is using the aunt in town as her messenger. She told David yesterday that MIL called and said it was all a misunderstanding. Hogwash. It's not misunderstanding, I understand all the manipulations and lies for what they are. Toxic, when you add it up and see the pattern of long standing.
Grateful has a good plan...and you are in my thoughts!
My current sleep med isn't working either. I see the Dr tomorrow. I love that sleepytime tea, Grateful, I find it so very relaxing! I also have used the sleepytime extra. For awhile, the meditation was doing it for me..cleared my mind and I fell asleep very peacefully. I do stay away from all caffeine except for chocolate. Not ready to give that up!
I suppose I have grown careless.
It is tiring to be ever vigilant.
David has been so shamed by his mother over ever asking for anything, that I have been working on getting him to tell me what he wants, to ask me to get him things, etc. When he does, I smile and thank him and tell him I want him to feel comfortable with it, as I ask him for things and he is always accomadating.
So, the MIL is using the aunt in town as her messenger. She told David yesterday that MIL called and said it was all a misunderstanding. Hogwash. It's not misunderstanding, I understand all the manipulations and lies for what they are. Toxic, when you add it up and see the pattern of long standing.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Thanks everyone for your good wishes!
Grateful, that sounds like a good plan. I'm working tomorrow, but maybe after that I will be able to do that. And, I need to go out and get some of the Sleepytime tea.
How ever did you find that swedish bitters help a cat's bladder infection?
Grateful, that sounds like a good plan. I'm working tomorrow, but maybe after that I will be able to do that. And, I need to go out and get some of the Sleepytime tea.
How ever did you find that swedish bitters help a cat's bladder infection?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Anna)) I do hope you can get some sleep and fibro relief soon. I can't function worth a darn on little or no sleep. The meds they have me on DO knock me out, but once I am awakened, I can't go back to sleep. I've always slept with a fan on in my room...for the air AND the "white noise". Well, it died the other night, and having trouble finding another one this time of the year. I am sending prayers your way.
((Tena)) prayers for YOU to get some sleep, too. I'm glad you aren't falling for the MIL's "stuff"
((Annie)) - it's been a joy to watch you grow so much in recovery!! It amazes me to find out how we really CAN deal with things we thought we never could!
Elvis WAS doing better, but is hot and lethargic again. I just gave him some more water in a syringe
Dad gave me an advance on my stores check, which is good for NOW, but will hurt at the end of the month. However, it means that I can take Elvis to the vet first thing in the morning. He really IS acting like a baby...I remember treating them in the ER...they would do better during the day, spike a fever at night.
Dad jumped all over me, today, about having too much oil in my car. He was right, but didn't have to yell. I reacted, got all frustrated and came home as he had demanded. As I knew, he couldn't do anything about it. I took my car to Walmart and had the oil changed, so it is fine. I'd gone to my mechanic but HE is sick, had been in the hospital on Sun. He's having some testing done but may need an MRI of the brain, which is unsettling...he's a very dear friend to us all.
So, feeling totally frustrated, I took a nap! Woke up, and started back on my school work. Need to get back into that, and decided today was as good a day as any. I finally had to stop when Elvis and Mots both decided to "help" and I couldn't get to my notebook pad, but am close to being done.
Oh, and I lost 6 more stores today...sigh. I'm still a bit frustrated, but told ((Grateful)) that I will just keep putting that "one foot in front of the other" and trusting in God. Tomorrow, I will get Elvis seen about then go do stores. Thu., will prepare for the snow/ice storm.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
((Tena)) prayers for YOU to get some sleep, too. I'm glad you aren't falling for the MIL's "stuff"
((Annie)) - it's been a joy to watch you grow so much in recovery!! It amazes me to find out how we really CAN deal with things we thought we never could!
Elvis WAS doing better, but is hot and lethargic again. I just gave him some more water in a syringe
Dad gave me an advance on my stores check, which is good for NOW, but will hurt at the end of the month. However, it means that I can take Elvis to the vet first thing in the morning. He really IS acting like a baby...I remember treating them in the ER...they would do better during the day, spike a fever at night.Dad jumped all over me, today, about having too much oil in my car. He was right, but didn't have to yell. I reacted, got all frustrated and came home as he had demanded. As I knew, he couldn't do anything about it. I took my car to Walmart and had the oil changed, so it is fine. I'd gone to my mechanic but HE is sick, had been in the hospital on Sun. He's having some testing done but may need an MRI of the brain, which is unsettling...he's a very dear friend to us all.
So, feeling totally frustrated, I took a nap! Woke up, and started back on my school work. Need to get back into that, and decided today was as good a day as any. I finally had to stop when Elvis and Mots both decided to "help" and I couldn't get to my notebook pad, but am close to being done.
Oh, and I lost 6 more stores today...sigh. I'm still a bit frustrated, but told ((Grateful)) that I will just keep putting that "one foot in front of the other" and trusting in God. Tomorrow, I will get Elvis seen about then go do stores. Thu., will prepare for the snow/ice storm.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
I have been vetting my horses, dogs and cats for years..and the Swedish Bitters, consisting of 21 or 23 healing herbs, can't remember... is a powerful healing tonic for just about anything for humans as well as animals..It must not cross the blood barrier though, so can't be used on cuts or abrasions...really good for internal infections in the digestive or urinary tract...excellent for any kind of inflammation ....and ear infections too...
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Brit just came home, dad asked her about why she hasn't gone into school, and she went into a rage...came after me and I put my hands on her shoulders to get her out of my face...she came after me. She now hates MY guts and it has gotten really, really bad.
This night has just gotten worse and worse. First I thougth Elvis was going to die, but he's okay. Then dad told me how much it hurts him that I have that "PTS...whatever" and he was almost in tears.
I'm listening to Brit talk about "him and his daughter"...talking about dad and me....do you know how bad that hurts, as much as I love that girl? It's like everything I've done, how hard I've worked at a relationship with her is just gone.
This has been the worst day in a long, long time.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
This night has just gotten worse and worse. First I thougth Elvis was going to die, but he's okay. Then dad told me how much it hurts him that I have that "PTS...whatever" and he was almost in tears.
I'm listening to Brit talk about "him and his daughter"...talking about dad and me....do you know how bad that hurts, as much as I love that girl? It's like everything I've done, how hard I've worked at a relationship with her is just gone.
This has been the worst day in a long, long time.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
(((Amy)))...I don't think the relationship you had with Brit is gone....i think that where she is right now does not allow her to be present and coming from her heart with you...From all you have shared, she loves you...looks up to you...
You mentioned at one point that she has been drinking...that was some time ago, and she has been gone for some time; not around...you don't know what she has been doing and with who and she certainly sounds like she has undergone a personality change...something isn't right...I am willing to bet the alcohol consumption has increased considerably and/or she is using something else.
I am so sorry, been there, and it is so very hurtful..try and remember that what you are seeing and hearing is not necessarily the niece you know and love...big hugs and prayers for you and your family..
You mentioned at one point that she has been drinking...that was some time ago, and she has been gone for some time; not around...you don't know what she has been doing and with who and she certainly sounds like she has undergone a personality change...something isn't right...I am willing to bet the alcohol consumption has increased considerably and/or she is using something else.
I am so sorry, been there, and it is so very hurtful..try and remember that what you are seeing and hearing is not necessarily the niece you know and love...big hugs and prayers for you and your family..
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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(((Grateful)))
First of all, thank you for being here for me by e-mail...you and Anvil have helped me, tremendously tonight.
Brit wasn't drinking...she blew her breath in my face. She does have unresolved anger, but won't consider counseling (she never did really open up when she went). Dad also has agreed he needs counseling but that's as far as it has gotten.
Right now, everyone is quiet. I'm just going to detach from Brit for a while. I know this will blow over, but she said some very hurtful things to me, and she is going to learn that there are consequences when she does that. She has accused me of "putting my hands on her" and at some point I will tell her that if ANYONE comes at me and invades my personal space, screaming at me, I WILL push them away, which is what I did.
I'm okay for now. Will wrestle with "the octopus with claws" - Elvis, to get more water down him, take my night time meds, then try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day, and I'm determined it will be a better one.
I will take responsibilty for raising MY voice tonight, as it was the only way to be heard, but I will also allow everyone else the responsiblity of their actions...including Brit. I DO believe we will be close again, but she really did hurt me tonight and that, on top of Elvis being sick, was just a bit too much.
In hindsight, I should have just stayed in my room and let them do/say whatever, but I was being attacked when I wasn't even there. Buttons got pushed and I reacted. Guess I'm still a codie, huh?
I am most grateful that I never thought of using...didn't even cross my mind. I'm also grateful to ((Grateful)) and ((Anvil)) who talked me through all this, and helped me back to sanity. SR, and my friends, here, has been a life saver, once again
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
First of all, thank you for being here for me by e-mail...you and Anvil have helped me, tremendously tonight.
Brit wasn't drinking...she blew her breath in my face. She does have unresolved anger, but won't consider counseling (she never did really open up when she went). Dad also has agreed he needs counseling but that's as far as it has gotten.
Right now, everyone is quiet. I'm just going to detach from Brit for a while. I know this will blow over, but she said some very hurtful things to me, and she is going to learn that there are consequences when she does that. She has accused me of "putting my hands on her" and at some point I will tell her that if ANYONE comes at me and invades my personal space, screaming at me, I WILL push them away, which is what I did.
I'm okay for now. Will wrestle with "the octopus with claws" - Elvis, to get more water down him, take my night time meds, then try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day, and I'm determined it will be a better one.
I will take responsibilty for raising MY voice tonight, as it was the only way to be heard, but I will also allow everyone else the responsiblity of their actions...including Brit. I DO believe we will be close again, but she really did hurt me tonight and that, on top of Elvis being sick, was just a bit too much.
In hindsight, I should have just stayed in my room and let them do/say whatever, but I was being attacked when I wasn't even there. Buttons got pushed and I reacted. Guess I'm still a codie, huh?
I am most grateful that I never thought of using...didn't even cross my mind. I'm also grateful to ((Grateful)) and ((Anvil)) who talked me through all this, and helped me back to sanity. SR, and my friends, here, has been a life saver, once again
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
The BEST news is Elvis is eating his treats!! This means I don't have to wrestle him to get water down his throat, as he will drink water after eating. I've gone from convinced he was going to die, back to thinking he just has an infection.
Passed Brit in the kitched and didn't say a word. I'm the only one in the family who has ever made her face consequences and she's never liked getting the cold shoulder from me. I've already forgiven her, but will still keep my distance from her, until I'm ready to reingage in our relationship. She's never been able to stand getting the cold shoulder from me, but she needs to learn she can't just treat people any kind of way.
What a night...thought Elvis might die, verbally attacked by a child who I love as a daughter, and saw my family in it's most dysfunctional state. Two hours later, I'm looking forward to having a good day tomorrow.
Darned if this recovery stuff doesn't work!
hugs and prayers!
Amy
Passed Brit in the kitched and didn't say a word. I'm the only one in the family who has ever made her face consequences and she's never liked getting the cold shoulder from me. I've already forgiven her, but will still keep my distance from her, until I'm ready to reingage in our relationship. She's never been able to stand getting the cold shoulder from me, but she needs to learn she can't just treat people any kind of way.
What a night...thought Elvis might die, verbally attacked by a child who I love as a daughter, and saw my family in it's most dysfunctional state. Two hours later, I'm looking forward to having a good day tomorrow.
Darned if this recovery stuff doesn't work!
hugs and prayers!
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
wow, ((((amy)))). Kids can bring us to the absolute heights and depths in our emotions.
Yesterday was THE cut off for "the baby" staying on my auto insurance. She had set everything up 2 weeks ago, and needed only to go pay for her own, but I hadn't heard from her. So hating to do it without hearing from her, I made the plan to go in tomorrow after my dr appointment and take her off my policy. My dr called out sick, so I ended up going to work and never made it by the office. 5pm I got a call from my insurance, she had just rear ended someone on her way in to pay for the new policy. She is fine. I spoke with her, and then emailed her, and told her to pick someone to thank, be it a guardian angel, god, the goddess or the universe.
uhg. growing pains were so aptly named.
Yesterday was THE cut off for "the baby" staying on my auto insurance. She had set everything up 2 weeks ago, and needed only to go pay for her own, but I hadn't heard from her. So hating to do it without hearing from her, I made the plan to go in tomorrow after my dr appointment and take her off my policy. My dr called out sick, so I ended up going to work and never made it by the office. 5pm I got a call from my insurance, she had just rear ended someone on her way in to pay for the new policy. She is fine. I spoke with her, and then emailed her, and told her to pick someone to thank, be it a guardian angel, god, the goddess or the universe.
uhg. growing pains were so aptly named.
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Location: Atlanta
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(((Lisa))) - wow, did SHE have an angel looking over her!! I'm glad no one was hurt!
I'm about to throw on some warm clothes and take Elvis to the vet...we have an appt at 10:20 and they are 3 miles away. He whined at me when I got out of bed, earlier, so that's a good sign, but I know he still needs to be seen.
Brit DID go to work, though stomped around the house and didn't speak to anyone but stepmom. She's making it VERY easy to detach and go NC. I still love her, dearly, but I really don't like her right now, and that's okay.
Got to go...good thing Elvis is a good patient...he's never minded going to the vet...knows I'm taking him somewhere to "feel better".
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm about to throw on some warm clothes and take Elvis to the vet...we have an appt at 10:20 and they are 3 miles away. He whined at me when I got out of bed, earlier, so that's a good sign, but I know he still needs to be seen.
Brit DID go to work, though stomped around the house and didn't speak to anyone but stepmom. She's making it VERY easy to detach and go NC. I still love her, dearly, but I really don't like her right now, and that's okay.
Got to go...good thing Elvis is a good patient...he's never minded going to the vet...knows I'm taking him somewhere to "feel better".
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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