Impurrfect

((Lisa)) - thanks for the info. That puppy that we were going to keep, but the owner took back, was pit/chow. We would have worked it out, but I would have been the one doing all the work. Anvil told me they even asked if her puppy, Della, was a pit (she's an Americal bulldog) as that would affect their homeowner's insurance!

I've been around pits, and I love them. I totally believe that they can be loving and loyal animals...it's in the way they are raised. I just know Brit is too busy having "fun" to be responsible.

She got a beta fish a couple of weeks ago, and was cleaning out it's litle tank..wish you could all hear here talk "baby talk" to that darned fish!

So the temp is dropping quickly..supposed to be in the 20's tonight, after being 68 today. Crazy weather.

My purpose in life, apparently, is to be a cat couch. Just ask Patches, who is laying on me.....sigh.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Live

((((((((((((((HG)))))))))))))))))))))
I am sorry!
Maybe you can take a little retreat as Grateful suggested in a few days or weeks.

Amy, I got plumb silly over my bettas too! LOL

I valued my needs today and spoke up about them and my boundaries even tho' I risked hurting David which I so much do not want to do. It was uncomfortable but necessary and all is well, he is encouraging of me speaking about my feelings, asked me to say something earlier before I let my feelings get hurt. I figure this is the first time in 6 months that he has hurt my feelings and it was completely unintentionally and inadvertent.....and that is something to be grateful about.

I put a shut out lead on the talk contest.....and the next day they added prizes for 2nd and 3d place as the others had stopped talking. I am still more than comfortably in first place but will advance more tomorrow.

Saw my Dr today..am a bit frustrated with him, but only a bit and see my therapist Monday.

hugs to each of you...I am sorry that I will have to do catch up reading later.

Tena

Gypsy Feet

Another recovery reading today that spoke to me. Yesterday, as I sat in my meeting in tears, I realized I am still so angry at the guy who was involved the night of my last drunk. Intellectually, I know he comes from cheating stock, and I know he meant no malice. But I am angry and hurt, at everyone involved that night including myself, and need to let it all go


Thursday, December 10, 2009

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning

The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind.
—Catherine Ponder

Forgiveness fosters humility, which invites gratitude. And gratitude blesses us; it makes manifest greater happiness. The more grateful we feel for all aspects of our lives, the greater will be our rewards. We don't recognize the goodness of our lives until we practice gratitude. And gratitude comes easiest when we're in a forgiving state of mind.

Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love. First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've come full circle - and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness.

The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change when I develop a forgiving heart.

grateful2b

You are reading from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990 The Hazelden Foundation


Empowerment


December 10


You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you.

Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes.

We can make a new decision that takes new information into account.

We can change our mind from time to time. That is our right too.

We don't have to be intellectuals to make good decisions. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us.

The gift is called wisdom.

Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people's decisions.

That also means we are responsible for our choices.

We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions.

We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.


Truly, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that I am being guided by Divine Wisdom.

grateful2b

Thank you, techies for all your efforts today!

grateful2b

(((Lisa)))

thank you!....for the reading


((Tena)) I loved your share about you and David...good for you and good for him..

Impurrfect

((Grateful)) and ((Lisa)) - thank you for the readings!! I got a lot from both of them. Here's another one

THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Thursday, December 10, 2009

Why you desire
+++++++++++++++++++

What would you desire if everything you now desire were
already yours? If you possessed every object you could ever
imagine possessing, what would drive you forward?

If all your goals were reached and even exceeded, what would
get you going each morning? If every problem in your life
were solved, where would you direct your energy?

Certainly it is necessary to pay attention to all the outer
concerns. But if that's all you ever think about, you can
become hopelessly frustrated and disillusioned.

Every now and then, dig deeper. Remind yourself why you
desire what you desire.

Following your outer desires can help you to express your
purpose, yet those desires are not your purpose itself. And
so even if you fail to achieve a particular goal, the pure,
authentic purpose behind the goal is still intact.

Instead of being frustrated when you experience
disappointments in your outer world, you can choose to be
inspired and creative. For you still have your purpose, and
you have the opportunity for finding an exciting new way to
express it.

Ralph Marston

Impurrfect

((Tena)) - I love your share about David.

We had a short scare today. Stepmom called me in tears..dad was on the road (will be driving all night again, then will go to TN, sleep in the van and pick up another load in the morning. He'd gotten a letter from the state, stating that he was forbidden to drive a commercial vehicle for 120 days due to 3 tickets in 3 years!!! Needless to say, we all depend on him driving for our house, food, etc.

I called him and he said that was for his CDL license, which, THANK GOD, he doesn't need to drive his van. Whew! Crisis averted. I told him that he'd better NEVER think stepmom doesn't care because she was SOOOO upset about this - because of what it would do to HIM, NOT the money.

I got several stores done and it was a beautiful, but cool day. I realized that, these days, I just can't BE in a bad mood?!?! I'm sure the feelings won't last forever, but I'm holding onto them for dear life while they DO last!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

SerenityGirl

Thankyou Grateful, Lisa and Amy for your readings...they are all really good....

Gypsy Feet

Do they change the daily meditation books each year (specifically ours)? I would like my own copy of several of the ones hazelden has , men in recovery, women in recovery and language of letting go, but if the messages stay the same (even on the same dates) I will find used copies.

grateful2b

You are reading from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990 The Hazelden Foundation


Affirmations


December 11


One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think - using our mental energy positively.

Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don't like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we're honest about it. If something isn't working out, we accept reality. But we don't dwell on the negative parts of our experience.

Whatever we give energy to we empower.

There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself....I'm good enough...my life is good...I am glad I'm alive today....What I want and need is coming to me....I can....

Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We've been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.


Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I'm willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good.

grateful2b

Amy, thank you for Ralph! ......I am so glad it all turned out okay for your Dad...

Lisa, Language Of Letting Go has always been as it is; I have a very old copy...


:ghug2

Impurrfect

((Grateful)) - thanks for the reading!! The affirmation I use the most, lately, is "I have enough"..especially when I don't make that much in tips and I feel that tendency to panic, or someone else (especially the jerk, J) makes more than I do. My focus has been on money WAY too much for WAY too long....sigh.

I just had a codie attack - couldn't get on this thread!!! I DO greatly appreciate all the work that is being done on SR, but got a little nervous when I couldn't GET here

I looked up my "kids" from work - Sonny and Lisa. Sonny had come by work a couple of weeks ago...was doing good after really messing up, going back on crack and going to jail for a while. I found Lisa on Facebook and sent her a message to call me.

She just called, they are "sort of" back together, but she is still staying at her mom's....right down the road from me. Turns out, her mom bought a house and they are on the SAME ROAD as my mom-Kay!! OMG!! So, I am going to see mom-Kay and Dan at 1, then going to see Lisa and the kids at 2 I haven't even SEEN the new baby yet, and he's already crawling!

Lisa has some big codie tendencies, but she said that when Sonny was locked up, she told his mom "leave him there!!!" I talked to her, a LOT, about codie stuff when we were working together. To be just barely 20 years old, have a 4-, 3- and 6-month old, and an addict for a bf, she's got her hands full. The good thing is, I never got sucked in to their drama...could easily love them both from a distance when I needed to.

I've got to be at work at 5, but I get to start my day off with seeing 2 of my favorite people (mom-Kay and Dan) and then playing with kids....couldn't ASK for a better start!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

grateful2b

I received this, this morning in my inbox...


You are reading from The Path Of Love by Deeprak Chopra (Three River Press, 1997)


In practical terms surrender means letting go. Although you don't realize it, reality isn't a given. Each of us inhabits a separate reality. Your mind maintains your personal version of reality by buttressing it with beliefs, expectations, and interpretations.

Your mind blocks the free flow of the life force by saying, "This is how things must and should be." Letting go releases you from this insistent grip, and when you let go, new forms of reality can enter.

Letting go is a process. You have to know when to apply it, what to let go of, and how to let go. Your mind is not going to show you any of those things; worse still. your ego is going to try to prevent you from making progress, since it believes that you have to hold on in order to survive. Your only ally in letting go is spirit, which sees reality as a whole and therefore has no need to create partial realities based on limitation.

The whole path to love could be described as learning to let go, but letting go all at once isn't possible. This is a path of many small steps. At any given moment the steps are basically the same: awareness begins to substitute for reactions.

Awareness doesn't resist the imprint of memory. It goes into and questions whether you need it now. In the face of a big dog, awareness tells you that you aren't a small child anymore and that not all dogs bite. Being aware of this, you can ask if you need to hold on to fear. Whether you wind up petting the dog, ignoring it, or withdrawing is now a matter of choice.

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited, the future is open and free.

least

THis was the quotation in today's AWordADay. "We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." Kenji Miyazawa

I'm not good at dealing with pain. I tend to cover it up or mask it or hide it - anything but deal with it head on. So this quote makes a lot of sense to me.

grateful2b

((Least)), I *love this quote, well said....thanks!

Gypsy Feet

Wow, deep stuff=)

I am doing a lot of pausing today. Checking on myself quite a bit. I have a tad more chaos around me than I have had for awhile, and I am finding that I have to be extra cautious not to get caught up in any drama making, obsessive worrying or controlling.

When I do pause, I find that I am in a good place and things are going well. I started typing out my weekend, but suffice it to say that the holiday madness is upon me. Travel, friends and family will be the name of the game until January 2nd. Add to this a gung ho sponsor and a 4th step in full swing and I just have to remember to breath=)

You know, I have been dwelling on that awful night, and what I put my kids through, but I have such a fantastic life going right now, surely I must not be too horrid a person right? Anyway, progress. . .forward momentum. . .gratitude. . .conscious contact. . .work my program. . .let go and let God. . .one breath at a time

BigDreams1

Wow...so much going on. ((((HG))) I'm sorry about the stroke. How are things going now? I'm praying for you both.
(((Gypsy)))) I'm sorry you've had some weepy days lately. Is there anything we can do to help?
(((Least))) I'm like you. I don't like conflict. I usually try the busyness or distracted route to avoid pain. Facing it head on is anxiety filled for me.
(((Grateful)))) Thanks so much for always being there for all of us.
((((Everyone els)))))

Wow...I feel like a ping pong ball. So up last week...so down today. I know Im depressive...but I'm so tired of the valleys. I'd like to stay on the mountaintop a bit longer than a day or two.
Today was a weepy day...still ruminating on the son's downfall..God...can't let it go. I SO WANT to let it go and I have parts of days where I can...but why does it keeep coming back???? UGH.
Jealousy I think. Im jealous of the other families whose sons stayed straight all the way through. That sounds so shallow...but I thinnk I have to acknowledge how I feel.

Again...thanks for listening to an old woman rant.
Love,
Annie

grateful2b

[QUOTE=BigDreams1;2457673Still ruminating on son's downfall..God...can't let it go. I SO WANT to let it go and I have parts of days where I can...but why does it keeep coming back???? UGH.
Jealousy I think. Im jealous of the other families whose sons stayed straight all the way through. That sounds so shallow...but I thinnk I have to acknowledge how I feel.[/QUOTE]

(((Annie)))...That is it, you have to knowledge how you feel..about your loss

There are five stages of mourning:
1. Denial and isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Annie, you are doing fine..the mouring process and how long we move through it is very individual. Can you imagine going through all you have in the last couple of months in just a week? you are meant to move through this process according to your needs. You will be done when you will be done .

Impurrfect

((Grateful)) ((Least)) - good stuff, but like ((Lisa)) said - DEEP stuff!!

((Annie)) - Grateful is right about the stages. I learned this when my mom died. I had signed up to take my elective in nursing school...death and dying. I had NO idea my mom was going to die 2 weeks before the course started. I knew about the stages. What I DIDN'T know was that I would be flip-flopping between the stages like crazy...sometimes in one day. I also didn't realize that dad and I would be in completely different stages at the same time. It seemed that when he wanted to talk and talk about the night she died, I wanted to not think about it.

It was HARD!!! My instructor had us write "musings" which were actually more of a journal, about what we thought of that weeks class. Mine, of course, were very personal. She was a godsend. She would always write notes and talk to me about what was going on with me. We also had a teacher commit suicide during this time and I remember writing "I want to get UNDER my bed with a blanket and never come out". She wrote back "okay, now THIS you cannot do" and went on to discuss what I COULD do.

Sweetie, I've been on the emotional roller coaster for 3 years, with my family. I usually have more good than bad days, but that's because I was raised by a mama who was an extreme optimist. It's only lately, that I've had way more good days than bad, and I'm convinced it's because I've finally let things go that I can't control. It's like God has been beating me over the head with a hammer, and it just FINALLY got through my thick head!

Give yourself a break. What you're feeling is normal, IMO. Be grateful for the good days and soon enough, work through the bad ones. I couldn't get through my grief until I worked through it - not only for my mom's death, but for what I put my family through when I was using, all the damage I did to my career, etc.

When I was at mom-Kay and Dan's today, we were talking about my mom's last year. I cried, thinking of what her and dad went through, and I wasn't around like I should have been because I was all wrapped up in XABF #1. However, I no longer feel guilty. It took me a long, long time to get to that point. I can't change the past, my mom knew I loved her, and beating myself up does no good. The more I beat myself up about something, the more roadblocks I put up to having peace of mind. I used to crave drugs...now I crave peace. Either I worked through the "bad" feelings, or I just got tired of struggling to be happy. I think I just hit my codie bottom, for now.

I got to see my friend and her kids. Got to snuggle with the 3-year-old and the baby. The older boy did talk to me and smile for a picture, which is more than he usually does. L and I laughed about funny stuff that had happened at work and she promises to "bug the heck out of me" now that she knows I'm so close Turns out, she knows the house mom-Kay lives in, says the man who lives there (Dan) always waves at her when she drives by, and she LOVES their house...small world.

Work was slow and my big boss, D stayed late. He was a bit of a pain, but I know how to ignore him! I got a few things off my chest about the "problem children" and he is still being very supportive of me.

I think I've reached the "pause" in menopause...no period in almost 2 months. Hot flashes are gone, once I started taking the OTC Estroven, thank God!! That may also be what's helping my mood, though I had taken it before and it didn't do diddly. I certainly don't miss the pms mania, that's for sure!! I AM more emotional, lately, but I think it's just the time of year and missing mom.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy