Dean62

Congratulations Jeffrey and Primal on your first 30 days of sobriety!

It's amazing to me how much I love mornings right now compared to the dread doom and gloom that met me every morning when in the midst of yet another binge. Our mail box is a couple houses down on our block so when I went out to get the mail in my pajamas with my coffee that cool crisp morning air with the sun peaking over the mountains took my breath away.....it's nice to get glimpses of peace again. When drinking.....ugh....blah....I couldn't believe I had to get up and spend another x amount of hours at a job I hated while obsessing over my next drink and oblivion.....what an amazing difference. I am so grateful to be sober today it goes beyond words.

I'm getting to old to do the running stuff, dancing around my kitchen is my workout. On my last binge....or was it my next to last....not sure but at some point I bought a bowflex from a co-worker, never been used. I guess I oughta try putting it together today and see if I can regain some physical health.

Love the positive sharing and support going on in this thread. Have a nice one today everyone. :ghug3

endzoner

how it gets better .. ooh its a endless list of simple pleasures , its differant for us all , seeing things you thu a new pair of eyes , colors seem brighter , life is simpler , sure we have days thats only natural ,
Like Dean just said , something as simple as a crisp breeze an a sunrise just warms your heart , The smile on a childs face , playing with toys ( kids or adults ) I even color in coloring books simple silly stuff . and of corse theres big things .. patience , tolerence of others , ppl noticing changes in your self .. and on and on and on ... its amazing , well rides here gotta run ill finish later going shoppin .. huggles Endzy

Kablume

Congrats Jeffrey & Primal on your 30 days! Wtg!

ashleek

I just wanna say, I love ya'll! Thanks for helping with my sobriety! And thank God that today I am 17 days sober. One miracle at a time just keep falling in my lap. Thank you God.

serenitea

20 days sober today! I have been feeling pretty good - loving how each day I can hold my head high and not feel the shame from the drinking...but also a little worried about the 3 week mark. That is usually when I cave in...

tonight was my 4 yr wedding anniversary - and we celebrated with home made brownies and ice cream! then had a nice talk about how we could do things different raising our daughter. How awesome not to just get drunk - and just numb away the evening.

I am constantly being reminded of how bad I used to feel & seeing how I was arranging my life around the drinking. For example - I went to a park recently and remembered the last time I was there i was hung over(this seems to be happening a good deal lately). I also am seeing how I was just getting thru my days to get to the evening so I could have the wine. Not scheduling things for early mornings, etc.

I still find myself feeling a bit lonely and alone. I have friends and such but I have not told anyone, except my husband, about my drinking - no one really knows - except you all here.... I am wondering if I should try and go to a meeting? I feel like I am getting really upset when I realize how horrible I was treating myself all these years.

I still feel a bit off - my brain sort of racing around and lots of scattered emotions. I hope that calms down soon!

Anyways - just wanted to share. Coming here and reading has really helped make it so far.

endzoner

congrats on day 20 thats fantastic , getting yourself to a meeting and meeting ppl who as well as you suffer with addiction is such a great idea , It definatly cant hurt ! Like Ash, its took her a few diff meetings but if you read her posts you see how she feels bout it , dont it sound nice to feel that way , I know its not easy the first time attending , but they will make you feel right at home , remember they stood in your place once before as well . you dont have to share if your not ready to , BUT do introduce your self even if its just your name .
As for telling your friends , again another tuffie but , if there truly your friends . you will be amazed at how supportive of you they are , They cant help and support you if you dont speak up . And if they dont support you then nuttin lost , you learned exactly how they feel bout you and really aint worth having in your life .
its quality not quantity , its better to have a small handful of friends then a batch of wanna be friends that really dont care . but again congrats on 20

Its pretty early here , ye ole bones said get up ! So here i am , Went outside with my cup of coffee and talk bout crisp cold morning ooh yah its definatly cold out there !but still it was a really clear sky and the stars were twinkling brite . puts a warm spot in the soul

Well all gonna go mossie around the forums work today ( crazy full with hunters ) at the Inn so should be interesting ( there slobs ) . ~much huggles Endzy ~

JeffreySandman

Great job Serenitea on your 20th day not drinking! I know what you mean about the 3 week mark - that's always been my downfall too. I recognized it this time as a possible pitfall so I had to double up on my resolve. Being a free thinker religiously, I looked for some eastern spiritual guidance to help me through - I read somewhere that the Taoist approach would be simple - don't drink. I like that approach and advice so that is what I've done.

Ashleek - 17 days is grand too - nice to see you all doing so well.

Primal - would love to celebrate our 2nd month with a libation but a smoothie is a little too sissy-ish for me - how about something more potent, like a Gunpowder Tea? I am learning to enjoy exotic teas by the way - also herbal teas from sustainable rain forest producers, a great way to help the environment.

Enjoy the life everyone - we've got a Japanese typhoon coming our way so I'm going to hunker down with some Godzilla movies (and tea) !

Dean62

Congradulations on 20 days with a drink Serenitea. The racing mind and scattered emotions does go away. My emotions are still all over the map but they are general good.....certainly far better then when I was drinking. Just not drinking is not enough for me. I drank for a reason and now it's time to look at the reason. That is what recovery is about. True recovery is not about alcohol, it's about getting healthy on the inside....it's an inside job. Things such as SR and meetings help with true recovery and the pay off is not a life without alcohol, the payoff is a much better way of life then we have ever known. I have had tastes of it and I have seen it in others....Like our friend Endzoner here in our class of September. We are blessed to have her here as an example for us. I relate to your arranging your life around drinking and it only gets worse, never better.

Well said TD, quality not quantity in friendship. I have made it clear here I am socially challenged. One thing I am seeing right now is that I am not going to be close friends with everyone I meet and it is a relief that I don't feel the need for that anymore. I'm putting myself out there and I know I will find the right people for me. I already have a few in my life and rebuilding those relationships is a good starting point for me.

Jeffrey that typhoon sounds scary. I hope you are safe, please keep us informed....and njoy your movies.

I almost finished putting my bowlex together yesterday....that was my workout for the day....I'm so out of shape. I also got some other cleaning done around the house. Last night, my Friday night consisted of going to the 5:15 meeting for the third night in a row....I suppose I should stop calling it the 5:15 and start calling it my homegroup. After the meeting I went straight down to K2 for a dinner (free dinner) party they had for people who have volunteered to help make the Sunday services run smoothly. I have been wanting my time to be spent in that way and I'm grateful that for at least one evening that's exactly what it was. An evening with good Sober people, many of which have what I want. I was as usual feeling some anxiety before I went but I, as usual am so grateful I went.

I really don't know what to expect and have no concrete plan or expectations of what today or tomorrow will bring but I do know it is happening. I can't explain it right now I just know it is happening, I'm beginning to look at seeing what I can pack into the stream of life and life is pulling me in. Harmony through God's will is something I have previously only glimpsed. Now it's just happening.

I just agreed to meet a co-worker who is struggling with his addiction for lunch. Later I'm going to a guy's graduation party....not real clear on that but I'm just going to give my support and a hug....and Oh yeah....more free food...then off to a meeting that focuses on the 10th step. I have never been to that one so I have no idea what to expect but my home group doesn't meet on the weekends and I don't want to stop what is rapidly transforming in my life.

Another beautiful crisp cool morning with my coffee and prayer and now it's time to get some work done.

Enjoy this great day everyone.

Renee B

Hi All! Just thought I'd check in...I've looked several times for this thread and could never find the September group...but I'm glad to be back. Still sober, I'm happy to report! It will be 5 weeks on Monday (I count weeks, not days...it's so much easier for me). Anyway, it seems a bit easier every day, although some days I'm hanging by a thread.

I hope you are all well! I read a few days worth of posts- welcome to all the new people, keep hanging in there those of you who are struggling, and THANK YOU to the "senior" folks for encouraging our class of Sept along the way.

endzoner

old you callin me old .. well i never .... its ok im kidding congrats on the 5 weeks thats great !
Suscribe to the post and this way you can locate us easier , when you add it it will be under quick links in the blue bar up top .. glad your found us again and are doing great !

Huggles Endzy

thirtybubba

Hi, just checking in again. I got 6 days. And a smile on my face. And a costume on my avatar.

-TB

serenitea

Thanks everyone for all your posts. It is SO true - I know there are things I need to deal with in my life - some are obvious - others are not. As you all said - it is an inside job.
I looked on line and found some meetings in my area - now I just need to figure out which one to go to..

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Kablume

LOL! I am probably the oldest on here. Not the longest sober mind you.

Congrats Renee on almost 5 weeks and serenitea on 20 days and TB on 6 days! Great job!

Cold day here. First real frost. I was sitting here this morning with my coffee contemplating my son's situation. He is 29, just moved back here from CA. He is living rent free with a friend until Nov. Has no job. I just bought him winter clothes. I tried to talk to him yesterday on Facebook and apparently he didn't want to talk. Today I am starting to get an attitude and had to stop right there. A thought came to me. Give him to God. So that's what I have done. It was easier to let go when he lived in CA and I had no idea how he was living and what he was doing. It sucks when its your kids and you want the best for them and they are struggling. And he is always struggling. But a lot of it was his own making. His sister who is younger and married has a great job and lives a pretty good life.

Any wisdom out there on how you let go of things or people?

Anyway, that's my story today. Hope all of you have a good sober Sunday.
As they say, my worst day sober is better that my best day drunk.

Renee B

Endzy- thanks for the tip on subscribing to the thread! And no, dear, I'm not calling you old. "Senior" as in experienced, wise, full-of-knowledge....not as in AARP, discounted breakfasts or forgetful moments!

PrimalScream

Hi all, great to hear so much positivity in this thread...makes me smile . I just got back from a nice hour long walk in the sunshine here this morning. feeling pretty good. Now I'm gonna watch "drunks" anyone seen it? I have been downloading all the addiction/drinking/recovery etc movies I can find...I find it helps me realize I don't want that kind of life.
welcome to those I don't know and congrats to all the great sober time everyone is putting in!! Have a great sober sunday to everyone!!

PurpleCat

Hi all - glad to see so many people doing well.

I'm all good. Cleaning the house, though, which I hate doing. I need a house elf.

Dean62

Wisdom on letting go of our adult children? That's a hard one to tackle Kablume. I have for adult boy.....young men of my own. It's not so much letting go where our children are involved as it is accepting that they are going to have to learn many things the hard way no matter how hard we try and prevent it. As we alcoholics know enabling us only prevents us from going through the pain that wakes us up and gets us moving in a more healthy direction. There is a reason for physical pain, it's the bodies warning system that something is wrong and action is required, the same holds true for emotional pain. We often have to feel it before we act. Understand that it is his hardships that are the best opportunity for him to change for the better, when the pain is sufficient we find growth. The reality is for some of us the pain we put ourselves through is not as much a bad thing as it is a necessary thing. If he is like my young men, he wants to be treated like an adult, so treat him like one. You will always be his parent, that will never change or go away. A shifting of perception of what is best for him will bring growth for both of you. What people call "tough love" is actually much more tough on the parents but it is in fact real love.

I am speaking from first hand experience Kablume. A little story I haven't shared with anyone before: When my 17 year old son ran away from were the verge of complete unrelenting despair. It was as if a black cloud was over us 24/7. I assume it was his age, being so close to 18 that the police did nothing. None of his "friends" new where he was and no one helped us to find him. The shear desperation of putting up missing posters of our son around the city put me in a numb, surreal state of shock like waking up from a bad nightmare only to find your still in one. "This can't be happening to me". I was angry at the world for the lack of understanding and the caring, hurting, terrified desperation in my wife's eyes and tears combined with her will to find him was killing me inside. The way we found him.....I don't even really want to think about this anymore.

As you know being a parent has it's moments Kablume. Trust and faith in God as you have already said you are doing has given me peace where calamity and drama once where. My prayers are with you from one parent to another. Trust and know that everything will be alright. He will come out of his struggles just as we have. If we can do it so can our boys......Men.

PS my 17 year old son is now 21, still struggling but alive and well.

Kablume

Dean,
This is what I forget about time after time. Thanks for bring it to my attention. Also, thanks for sharing your story. And for your words of encouragement and prayers. What we must endure for our children, only God can give us the strength. I'm glad that your son is doing well now.

I had a good weekend. I went to my grandson's football game early Sat. morning and then he came over to spend the night. Well, he spent the weekend with the neighbor kids but checked in with me occasionally so I did get to see him. DH went to a poker game Sat. night so I was by myself. I watched Marley and Me. Was good the 2nd time around. Sunday I sat around and read a book. Didn't get squat done around the house but that is Ok. I didn't wake up with a hangover Sat., Sun., or today. Yay! So I am a grateful alcoholic today. Tonight I will make a meeting.

Well, it is a good start on the week. Hope you all have a good sober Monday. And like Primal said, love the positivity on the thread. It is really good support here. Thanks again Dean and everyone else for being here.
P.S. Haven't heard of the movie Drunks but there is Clean and Sober, When a Man Loves a Woman, and 28 Days that I know of that are recovery movies.
Here's a link in here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ry-movies.html

Dean62

Your welcome and thank you for the kind thoughts about my son.
I really liked 28 days but.....I have a really bad habit of enjoying most movies I watch....I would make a horrible movie critic.

It's a little quiet in this thread the last few days. I hope everyone had a good weekend.

endzoner

Good morning every1 ,
Ive noticed that too as well that its the handful of same ppl posting wheres everyone been ?
Well was outside doing my morning ritual , and its to say the least a very crispy cold morning a hard icey frost on the windshilds ( joy ) . and the sky is crystal clear , ( explains the coldness ) . and one of my fav things is when its that clear you can see all the stars how brite and shinning . But this morning I gotta extra bonus ............ I seen a shooting star ! It was quick and outt the corner of my eye but it was something I havnt seen in a long time , Id say its been 8 plus yrs since ive seen one . SO of corse I did the next thing which was make a wish . Hubbie asked what I wsihed for , told him I cant tell you its a secret , but I will tell you I didnt wish for something of my self , I wished something for others .
In recovery , we learn to be greaty in a good way, its takin time for ourself and getting the tools and help we need ,
Once achived the skills we learn to give what we got in order to get it ! Ive never been one to be greaty , Ive always been a giver . and more so since recovery . So when I seen that shooting star . I knew what I wanted to do with that wish ,
Wishes do come true if you beleive in them enuff ... Ive seen many of mine come true
well just wanted to say good morning to you all , and hope you have a rockin Sober Tuesday .. Much Huggles ~Endzy~