Jewelz

I know he wont be functioning soon... I could feel it inside of me..

cinderellawkids

I agree thats what you should do, the rest will come

teke

jewelz, this is exactly what i'm saying, do what ever you have to do to make your own life better, happier and more peaceful. pamper yourself, and you'll soon notice a difference in the way you feel and so will he. try to like learn to live without him even though he's still there so when the time comes, if the time comes, you'll know and you'll already have a little practice. it helps


anvil, i just got the same message thing too, i wished i knew how to turn mine off, i had just written out this long response and it wouldn't let me summit it, and then it was lost. i didn't particularly like that,

Lovestoomuch

Well.........I have to catch up on what everyone is talking about, but I got some good news. Noah is taking off of work today and we are getting me a ride!! This puts me in a much better frame of mind. For anyone who has EVER been stuck and confined to the walls of any place, you understand why this is such a major relief. I could feel a deep depression setting in........no point in even getting out of bed depression. Now, I can go to Florida, have that grandbaby, spend some time and come back and get a job!!........another thing I look forward to. Its funny when I hear so many complain about going to work........and I'm sure I'll be amoungst those soon enough, but when you don't have one to go to.......and none of your own money.......it sucks.

teke

i agree with you loves about the jobs, i don't have one and i kind of wished i could go to work, just to have some place to go. glad to hear that you are getting a new car, that noah sure seem to know what to do. so now, you're going to have the baby and heading back, i'm so happy for you and noah. you two never cease to amaze me.

teke

oh palmtree, i agree with you, i hope you bring back lots of pics too loves, make sure you get some finger shots for me.

kj0975

I know what your talking about loves. I get very depressed not working and having none of MY own money. Its just different when its yours. I used to just lay in bed and be like what do I have to get up for? So I am glad your finally getting a car that will help u so much. Plus gives u some independance which your used to. I am so excited for u. I know how much this means to u.

Jewelz all I can say is u will know when u have had enough. Maybe u still think deep down there is hope and he will change and go back to the person u used to love and want to spend your life with. Its ok. We all have been there. Take all the focus off him and act like hes not there focus on u get your own life going. He will notice hes loosing u might take some time but he will notice. just remember not your job to make him better or make his life easier. He is a grown man. All said with love.

Anvil glad things are going good with renee home and that her and hank do get along. I have to chuckle at the puppy stories though its like u have another kid at home its cute the way u guys are with the puppy. I know he is your new baby.

Teke your such a beautiful woman and your so strong and u have come a long way baby.

Cinder good for u still sticking to your convictions and what is ok with u and what isnt thats a very big step. I'm very proud of u!!

Thanks for all the advice on my niece I think once again u all r right. DUH. Some of the things they talk about does make me uncomfortable but I am glad they talk to me. Some of the things I make a joke out of and we all laugh and somethings I have a serious talk to them about. Last night we had a serious talk about sex and drugs. I like my rock and roll though lol. I told them sex was over rated and really not that fun the first time. To which I got the reply yeah aunt kim we heard the second time is much better. Well after I picked my jaw off my shoe we continued talking. I also talked about my concerns with drinking and drugs and how are family is very prone to alcoholism and drug abuse. Which they named all the addicts in the family. Sad to say my name was mentioned too sigh..... I am very open with them. The troubled one lol said great so I am going to be and alcoholic thats good news thats for telling me. I told her the odds were not in her favor. So there is a base there and knowledge there and they will have to use their good judgement.

Then I lite a smoke. My niece said if I wasnt such a follower and would have been a leader I would not have started smoking. sigh....... I always tell them not to follow the crowd and be strong enough to say no and to follow the beat of their own drum. Guess that backfired. I keep the communications open and they trust me. So we are off to a good start. They are all great kids.

teke

try not to worry too much kj, it good that you guys can talk the way that you do, and seems like most of the time they either don't listen or don't pay what you say too much attention, but you'd be surprized how much they do take in. i find that to be true with my girls, they act like they are not really interested in what i might be saying but if you keep an eye on there actions, you can sometime see that they are taking heed to some of the things that you've already said.

at least she can't say that she didn't know or that she didn't have anyone to talk to her about those little girlie things. keep up the good work auntie

kj0975

Yes they understand I am not their friend and I am not there to be their friend. I am also the one who hands out the punishments. They both wince when they are told that we will have to wait and see what aunt kim wants to do about this. I can see it in their eyes when I walk in the door. My niece thinks she can outsmart me when she get written up in school. She gets the write ups out of the mailbox and erases the machine lol. I told her she not reinventing the wheel here I already did all that stuff. I also informed her that I get e-mails from all her teachers so I know b4 she knows about her write ups.

She knew she was in trouble lasnight when I got there. She was already crying but as bad as that felt it didnt stop my tyrad on her about respect! I am big on that. I know they swear that doesnt bother me its about when to use it and who not to use it on. No one in my opionion has gone to jail for swearing. Otherwise me and my trucker mouth would be in there for life. So that is an understanding we have. So they know I am the one to bring the hammer down. Like I'm that tough lol. (anvil I need your avitar lol)

Lovestoomuch

Alright..........I need input before I overload my brain with thoughts of "WTF does that mean"!! Noah came, got the title to the jeep we're buying........or I'm buying rather from his room mate. I give him the money to get it registered and that. When he leaves he says "I'll be back little princess." So.........wtf did that mean? He didn't seem mad, but I could detect a bit of something in his voice. I don't act like a princess and certainly have been most patient in the whole vehicle department. I mean.........I'm paying for the thing........but it's going to be in his name......until it's paid off. Now.........are they thinking I'm just going to take off with the vehicle unpaid and never return?? That kind of hurts my feelings a little because I'm not like that. I can understand somewhat, but I'm not a flight risk or anything. Why do I feel like I'm being put in the same category as his ex??

kj0975

I dont know without hearing the tone of voice. maybe he finally knows your a princess and u get everything u want!!! I think that if they didnt trust u they wouldnt put themselves out there to take u on judge judy! I think he still has some trust issues and some self esteem issues that still lingered and although caused by ex gf hes having a hard time letting go of the past and see your not her and your not doing any of those things. Its hard once u have been burned to put your heart out there for fear of if getting broken again. Then again it could be the exact same way for you. I wish I knew what to say I think its up to Noah to explain and let go of some of the old baggage hes carrying around with him from his ex. Hes a good guy but like him I'm sure we all have some issues. Well dont worry u will show him and make sure u show him good!!!!! I would give u my car if u were closer I trust u.

Lovestoomuch

We've talked on the subject.........but still.....little comments here and there just get me feeling a bit uncomfortable........like i wonder what he thinks sometimes. It seems he's still protecting himself and from the outside looking in I completely understand, but when you're the one he seems to be protecting himself from it still hurts.

Lovestoomuch

I won't over obsess it. I love him and if he does have any trust issues with me they aren't warranted IMO.......and he'll just have to see for himself. I have to remember that if I feel crappy about me, it's my issue and if he feels crappy about himself it's his issue.

kj0975

Thats right loves. U can do everything right and give him no reason but its still there its him. Its something that he will have to work on. Thats all. he will come around I hope for him and u both.

kj0975

Ahh that little sweet spot that usually how I can get the laundry and dishes done out of him!

Lovestoomuch

I don't think thats weird anvil. I still have a card holder from an office I used to work for. My grandfather had come in to pay me a visit and took a black sharpie marker and wrote his initials on it. I don't know why he did that, but he did.........and I still have that holder. I don't know if it subconsciencly....or however you spell it.....keeps them close to us still. I look at those initials and I smile. Just my take, but in no way weird IMO.

cinderellawkids

Loves,
I know Noah is a good guy but my legal background is screaming here, I cant resist. Your paying for the jeep but its in Noah's name until paid off? Registration and everything?
Please please tell me you have something in writing that it is yours, or your name is secondary on the registration and insurance, please.

kj0975

Nope not weird at all. I still have every card letter gift my grandfather gave to me from when I was a child. Fiance still has his mothers slippers in a paper bag. Just something that keeps them close to us I guess. Still has his mothers coat hanging in the closet with her used kleenex it the pockets just can throw the kleenex out. Just the way she left it. I think we all keep little things of people we used to love and are gone.

kj0975

Cinders I said the same thing. CYA!

Lovestoomuch

Nope........nothing but his word.......I plan on drawing up a bill of sale or something. I thought this transaction was going to be strictly between me and the room mate, but I was mistaken. I just don't understand why it's me who has to have blind faith here, but no one else can manage it.