A Penny For Your Thoughts, Part 5
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still trying to do as little as possible and call it good enough....that's my highly opinionated opinion
Forgot to share with you all, me being CInderella a fairy tale princess and all, talking to step grandmother last week and mentioned Sea Turtle Musuem. SHe said to my grandfather "so and so was moved from our museum to be director over there." (They are major contributors of the childrens exhibit at our local museum)I said, can you get me a special tour with the sea turtles up close? She's gonna talk to him at next museum benefit.
Also they are gonna take me and the boys on a behind the scenes private tour of the Museum they are involved in.
Finally Cinderella's being treated like a princess, first being bought a house and now this. Fairytales do come true, in parts and pieces
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Originally Posted by anvilhead 
why can't he bring it to you? (again sorry, i'm kinda on a addict rant today...tell me to shut up anytime...). why do you have to go to him, tote his butt around, etc? why can't HE go out of HIS way for the benefit of HIS family???????
ok, off my soap box now......
ok, off my soap box now......
I drive directly by his house when I get the baby, twice actually less than 100 yards from the house so its not out of my way, and I dont want him at my house (Not even to work on my honey do list
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
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Well I came here originally to talk about silly that I did but instead I want to bring up a conversation I just had with one of the kids in our agency.
You see first let me explain I work for a foster care agency all the kids that are in our program are teenagers. For a while we had an open policy where the kids could come in, go on the computers and basically hang out.
Well last week one of the teenagers who are BAD punch a girl in the face in the office. I was not here for the incident but I know it really raveled the workers nerves. The director and supervisors made a decision that no kids are allowed in the office no more if their caseworkers are not here. If the case worker is here the child has to be here for a reason... no more open door policy.
Mind you our office has been VERY QUIET but for me it seems empty without the kids here.
One of the teens just showed up... he's a good kid.. has a great head on his shoulders. When I walked in I saw him in the waiting area I informed him that everyone is in a meeting and he would have to wait a while. he waited maybe about 15 min. He looked at me and said you stop us from coming in just because of those two girls who are rarely here. he said it's not fair we come here to be safe... not to be in our neighborhood.. this office is like a safe haven and you took it away from us. he also said why didnt you guys take into consideration the kids that dont cause trouble.
To be honest I felt so bad for him.. and I totally agreed with him and has mentioned it this week to a coworker. I just didn't know what to say.. I did tell him I understood how he felt and will definately relay his message to the director.
These kids have no one and for the most part they saw us as their family and once again they feel like people are turning away from them.
Jewel
You see first let me explain I work for a foster care agency all the kids that are in our program are teenagers. For a while we had an open policy where the kids could come in, go on the computers and basically hang out.
Well last week one of the teenagers who are BAD punch a girl in the face in the office. I was not here for the incident but I know it really raveled the workers nerves. The director and supervisors made a decision that no kids are allowed in the office no more if their caseworkers are not here. If the case worker is here the child has to be here for a reason... no more open door policy.
Mind you our office has been VERY QUIET but for me it seems empty without the kids here.
One of the teens just showed up... he's a good kid.. has a great head on his shoulders. When I walked in I saw him in the waiting area I informed him that everyone is in a meeting and he would have to wait a while. he waited maybe about 15 min. He looked at me and said you stop us from coming in just because of those two girls who are rarely here. he said it's not fair we come here to be safe... not to be in our neighborhood.. this office is like a safe haven and you took it away from us. he also said why didnt you guys take into consideration the kids that dont cause trouble.
To be honest I felt so bad for him.. and I totally agreed with him and has mentioned it this week to a coworker. I just didn't know what to say.. I did tell him I understood how he felt and will definately relay his message to the director.
These kids have no one and for the most part they saw us as their family and once again they feel like people are turning away from them.
Jewel
grateful rca
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no,no,no, cinder and anvil, in my oinion cinder maybe better off if she goes to get the money from him, but maybe take someone with you. my husband used to use the money thing as an excuse to get to the house, yeah, he'd bring money, but then i'd have a hard time trying to get him to leave.
it took a long while before he learned to leave when i suggested it, without him having a police escort. what do you think cinder, do you think you'll have problem with him coming to you?
it took a long while before he learned to leave when i suggested it, without him having a police escort. what do you think cinder, do you think you'll have problem with him coming to you?
grateful rca
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jewelz, i'm so sorry for the kids at your work place, sad story, maybe once you relay the message to the director, you can make an alternate option so that all the kids don't have to be punishished so badly for how the other two reacted.
kj, i like both the hair styles, which one do you like more
kj, i like both the hair styles, which one do you like more
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KJ they are beautiful, the one in bottom picture resembles you.
Yep Teke, totally agree. Im okay going there because the kids will not go in the house or get out of the car, not babyproofed and Clif has been drinking again so sober Ah will not let the kids around him, or me for that matter.
I think right now he realizes not to push me if I say he's gotta go, he's trying to keep sore subjects from coming up and considering my feelings, but we all knows he's an addict and the me me me phase can come back at any point. Im more concerned about him trying to sweet talk me if he came over
what do you think cinder, do you think you'll have problem with him coming to you?
I think right now he realizes not to push me if I say he's gotta go, he's trying to keep sore subjects from coming up and considering my feelings, but we all knows he's an addict and the me me me phase can come back at any point. Im more concerned about him trying to sweet talk me if he came over
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
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teke, I will see what the director says but really it seems she is hell bent on them not having access to our office space as they used to. You see there is a click in my office and the director. The huddle with one another.. make decisions about the office without asking the other coworkers their opinion. Maybe now in the near future may say will have some say because I am the office manager starting today.
Jewel
Jewel
grateful rca
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kj, i didn't realize that those were the girls, they are so pretty, you are doing such a good job, they both seem so happy.
cinder, i know what you mean by not wanting to be sweet talked, even if you don't go for the talk, they seem to have a way of making you feel guilty for what? "hurting them so bad", i used to try to stay away too, just for that reason. now i just say that i don't believe it so i don't care to hear it. hopefully he'll figure it out soon.
cinder, i know what you mean by not wanting to be sweet talked, even if you don't go for the talk, they seem to have a way of making you feel guilty for what? "hurting them so bad", i used to try to stay away too, just for that reason. now i just say that i don't believe it so i don't care to hear it. hopefully he'll figure it out soon.
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say that would qualify as sweet talk.....i know, YOU love him, he's the one you picked and all that
He's not dangerous at this point, remember I took him to work several days, but I will not be alone either
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Originally Posted by teke
kj, i didn't realize that those were the girls, they are so pretty, you are doing such a good job, they both seem so happy.
cinder, i know what you mean by not wanting to be sweet talked, even if you don't go for the talk, they seem to have a way of making you feel guilty for what? "hurting them so bad", i used to try to stay away too, just for that reason. now i just say that i don't believe it so i don't care to hear it. hopefully he'll figure it out soon.
cinder, i know what you mean by not wanting to be sweet talked, even if you don't go for the talk, they seem to have a way of making you feel guilty for what? "hurting them so bad", i used to try to stay away too, just for that reason. now i just say that i don't believe it so i don't care to hear it. hopefully he'll figure it out soon.
Teke, the hardest part is I want so badly to believe. At least for the time being we are in agreement that we need to live apart
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
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Well I spoke to her and she said this is something that must be done and that hopefully it would gradually go back to the way it used to be. She said she wont take threats from the kids... referring back to when the teen said when we do let them back in they just might not come back.
Jewel
Jewel
grateful rca
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i just talked to my ah, and he says that he's on his way home, but just hearing his voice makes me feel like i just don't want to continue to do this marriage. i mean i'm not angry at all, this is something that i've been thinking all along, i keep thinking that maybe i could trust him again in time, but today i don't know if i want to trust him anymore, i still think that the relationship may very well be done. i don't know, maybe i want to save a few more dollars just in case, but the more i think about him and this marriage, the more i may rather live alone. i like my freedom even though i don't have any major changes planned regarding my freedom. maybe i just don't want to be in any relationship at all right now.
now i may just have that talk in the coming wks, but i don't know.
cinder, i hope and i pray that you stay strong and stick to your boundaries, cause it really is not fun to have him calling you and pursuing you when in your heart you feel that there maybe nothing to salvage. whatever you do in detaching while you hope that he finds sobriety, continue to do it now. try not to do what i think i have done all of these yrs, i've taken and taken all the crap for so long until i honestly think i just don't care anymore what he does and with who. i don't want to hurt him now that he may be actually trying to do better, but i think that its a little too late, and i feel saddened for him. i feel the same way now as i did when i left my first husband. i was done and there was nothing that he could do or say to change my mind. i was just not in love with him anymore. does this make any sense to anyone?
now i may just have that talk in the coming wks, but i don't know.
cinder, i hope and i pray that you stay strong and stick to your boundaries, cause it really is not fun to have him calling you and pursuing you when in your heart you feel that there maybe nothing to salvage. whatever you do in detaching while you hope that he finds sobriety, continue to do it now. try not to do what i think i have done all of these yrs, i've taken and taken all the crap for so long until i honestly think i just don't care anymore what he does and with who. i don't want to hurt him now that he may be actually trying to do better, but i think that its a little too late, and i feel saddened for him. i feel the same way now as i did when i left my first husband. i was done and there was nothing that he could do or say to change my mind. i was just not in love with him anymore. does this make any sense to anyone?
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That makes a lot of sense Teke. I do get how you feel.
Ah called said he may go to his sisters and she may take him to the store and they will hang out so I can come by for the money in the morning. I said honestly, I worry you'll make a bad decision by morning and suffer for it, but I guess this is where I have to let it happen, right?
The codependant controller in me wants to go by saying I need money for the baby to have milk and diapers.
Ok Ill be strong. Ill do my own merry thing and leave him to him
Ah called said he may go to his sisters and she may take him to the store and they will hang out so I can come by for the money in the morning. I said honestly, I worry you'll make a bad decision by morning and suffer for it, but I guess this is where I have to let it happen, right?
The codependant controller in me wants to go by saying I need money for the baby to have milk and diapers.
Ok Ill be strong. Ill do my own merry thing and leave him to him
grateful rca
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cinder, i'll be in and out, tonite, so hang on. i'm still trying to fix whats wrong with this program on this comp, but i'm still on line.
i'm sorry that its happening this way, what was his excuse for not allowing you to pick up the money? i'v been there so many times, i learned how to not expect anything from him and when he did show up with money, it became my extra money, still is. don't want to ever be that dependant on him again. you can make it, i pray that he follows through on what he said that he was gonna do, but if not, you'll be ok somehow.
could you have asked him to give the money to his sis? just a thought. sometimes cinder it does get worse before it gets better, do all you can to stick to your boundaries, honestly he's missing you and the kids but as long as you are having that occassional contact with the rides and all, he may think that he still has a little control at the home front. addicts just done think rationally sometimes, sometimes they just don't get it.
i'm sorry that its happening this way, what was his excuse for not allowing you to pick up the money? i'v been there so many times, i learned how to not expect anything from him and when he did show up with money, it became my extra money, still is. don't want to ever be that dependant on him again. you can make it, i pray that he follows through on what he said that he was gonna do, but if not, you'll be ok somehow.
could you have asked him to give the money to his sis? just a thought. sometimes cinder it does get worse before it gets better, do all you can to stick to your boundaries, honestly he's missing you and the kids but as long as you are having that occassional contact with the rides and all, he may think that he still has a little control at the home front. addicts just done think rationally sometimes, sometimes they just don't get it.
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