QUACKERs.... Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 62
We've been together for 13 years. He is currently unemployed, but being a stay at home dad. This is the conversation that we have pretty much every time he falls off the wagon:
AH: I mess up once and you act like it's such a big deal (I know full well that it's not going to be just once since I've been down this road before)
Me:.....
AH: I think people forget that I've taken care of you for 7 years.
(meanwhile, I've been working to pay the mortgage, his credit card- although thankfully, he has no other debts, my credit cards, school loans, food, clothing etc). For the 7 years that he "took care" of me, I paid my own credit card bills, my half of the mortgage/rent, utilities, loans, etc. He paid for groceries, his half of the mortgage, day care and his bills. It frustrates me to no end that he doesn't see the difference.
AH: I mess up once and you act like it's such a big deal (I know full well that it's not going to be just once since I've been down this road before)
Me:.....
AH: I think people forget that I've taken care of you for 7 years.
(meanwhile, I've been working to pay the mortgage, his credit card- although thankfully, he has no other debts, my credit cards, school loans, food, clothing etc). For the 7 years that he "took care" of me, I paid my own credit card bills, my half of the mortgage/rent, utilities, loans, etc. He paid for groceries, his half of the mortgage, day care and his bills. It frustrates me to no end that he doesn't see the difference.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 62
This is my new favorite thread. It's sad that it's funny, but I've had similar conversations so many times that it's humorous. I wonder if my alcoholic, "I pride myself in being unique and rebellious" husband realizes just how cliche he is.
Sometimes you have to laugh, right? It's either that or cry and I'd rather laugh.
Sometimes you have to laugh, right? It's either that or cry and I'd rather laugh.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 62
I just thought of another one - after his latest relaspe
me: It's sad to think that you went 6 weeks sober and now you are back to day 1.
AH: No, it doesn't.
me: um....yeah.... it kind of does, especially since you have a bottle hidden in your drawer which leads me to believe that you don't have the intention of stopping any time soon.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know how the days work. I just assumed that if you fell of the wagon, then then you go back to day 1. That seems to be the most logical, but maybe I'm wrong?
me: It's sad to think that you went 6 weeks sober and now you are back to day 1.
AH: No, it doesn't.
me: um....yeah.... it kind of does, especially since you have a bottle hidden in your drawer which leads me to believe that you don't have the intention of stopping any time soon.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know how the days work. I just assumed that if you fell of the wagon, then then you go back to day 1. That seems to be the most logical, but maybe I'm wrong?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Broken - I've heard the same thing.
Over and over.
"if I stopped drinking, you'd just find something else to get on me about"
My answer is "maybe - but you would have to stop drinking to see if you are correct in predicting my future on that."
Over and over.
"if I stopped drinking, you'd just find something else to get on me about"
My answer is "maybe - but you would have to stop drinking to see if you are correct in predicting my future on that."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 109
My xabf would get horrible, nearly debilitating stomach pains. He claims to have been to the ER in the past - on morphine - because of it. He'd have a bout of it every 6-8 months or so.
The last time it happened (while we were together) he went to the doctor, who gave him pills for indigestion.
He said before the appointment, "I'm willing to do anything they tell me to do just to get rid of this pain. I can't deal with this anymore". He thought maybe it was lactose intolerance or gluten intolerance (because, despite eating dairy and wheat products every day, that happens only every 6-8 months, right? lol)... anything BUT the alcohol. When I said "what if they told you it was the scotch?", he replied "it's not the scotch".
Ugh.
The last time it happened (while we were together) he went to the doctor, who gave him pills for indigestion.
He said before the appointment, "I'm willing to do anything they tell me to do just to get rid of this pain. I can't deal with this anymore". He thought maybe it was lactose intolerance or gluten intolerance (because, despite eating dairy and wheat products every day, that happens only every 6-8 months, right? lol)... anything BUT the alcohol. When I said "what if they told you it was the scotch?", he replied "it's not the scotch".
Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
AX-"I'm going to be driving out there pretty soon, is it OK if I stop and see DS5?"
Me-"When are you coming?"
AX-"Oh, I don't really know, soon."
Me"We'll see."
AX"We'll see? WTF does that mean?"
Me"It means that IF you show up, and IF we're not busy, and IF you're sober then I will meet you out someplace so you can see DS5. And if this is some half-baked plan you and gf/aunt have cooked up to try and take off with him, then don't bother."
AX"How would I be drinking? I'll be driving. I haven't had a drink in months!"
Me"Good for you." Click.
Me-"When are you coming?"
AX-"Oh, I don't really know, soon."
Me"We'll see."
AX"We'll see? WTF does that mean?"
Me"It means that IF you show up, and IF we're not busy, and IF you're sober then I will meet you out someplace so you can see DS5. And if this is some half-baked plan you and gf/aunt have cooked up to try and take off with him, then don't bother."
AX"How would I be drinking? I'll be driving. I haven't had a drink in months!"
Me"Good for you." Click.
*wink*
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 76
I have a talk with AH after finding another stash of bottles inside the drop ceiling and under a recliner - during this talk I tell him that when he has lied to me before when I asked him if he was drinking, it was really damaging as I decided back then I had to believe him and destroyed myself for his sake. (Took me long enough, but no longer believing anything he says these days)
Cut to 2 weeks later.
AH goes downstairs, comes back up a few minutes later, reeks of alcohol.
Me: Did you have a drink?
AH: No, I haven't been drinking! I just had some garlic bread, that must be what you're smelling.
'Cause garlic and wine, they smell exactly the same, right?
Cut to 2 weeks later.
AH goes downstairs, comes back up a few minutes later, reeks of alcohol.
Me: Did you have a drink?
AH: No, I haven't been drinking! I just had some garlic bread, that must be what you're smelling.
'Cause garlic and wine, they smell exactly the same, right?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Originally Posted by lucybb 
I have a talk with AH after finding another stash of bottles inside the drop ceiling and under a recliner - during this talk I tell him that when he has lied to me before when I asked him if he was drinking, it was really damaging as I decided back then I had to believe him and destroyed myself for his sake. (Took me long enough, but no longer believing anything he says these days)
Cut to 2 weeks later.
AH goes downstairs, comes back up a few minutes later, reeks of alcohol.
Me: Did you have a drink?
AH: No, I haven't been drinking! I just had some garlic bread, that must be what you're smelling.
'Cause garlic and wine, they smell exactly the same, right?
Cut to 2 weeks later.
AH goes downstairs, comes back up a few minutes later, reeks of alcohol.
Me: Did you have a drink?
AH: No, I haven't been drinking! I just had some garlic bread, that must be what you're smelling.
'Cause garlic and wine, they smell exactly the same, right?
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
For future reference, other things that smell "exactly the same" as alcohol include but are not limited to: cat sweat, gasoline/diesel fuel, strong tea, vitamins, anything given to someone by a neighbor and pond water.
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 278
Originally Posted by ladyscribbler
For future reference, other things that smell "exactly the same" as alcohol include but are not limited to: cat sweat, gasoline/diesel fuel, strong tea, vitamins, anything given to someone by a neighbor and pond water.
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
I'm sure I missed something, but those are the ones I remember hearing about from the exhole (thanks to NWGRITS for one of my favorite words of all time).
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Mississauga
Posts: 207
I only had two beers (after coming home from baseball game I wasn't allowed to attend BC no Sig others go, smell of alcohol coming out of his pores. Come to think of it he always only had two)
I sai d I go to AA when I was drinking alone. I'm not drinking alone. I was at a pub (by himself)
I never drink during the week ( he was drinking daily)
I don't need rehab alcohol hasn't interfered with my life (he blacked out from alcohol and didn't come see me in hospital, he had to call I'm sick to work, in Sig debt from drinking, has several DUI and no longer drives)
I sai d I go to AA when I was drinking alone. I'm not drinking alone. I was at a pub (by himself)
I never drink during the week ( he was drinking daily)
I don't need rehab alcohol hasn't interfered with my life (he blacked out from alcohol and didn't come see me in hospital, he had to call I'm sick to work, in Sig debt from drinking, has several DUI and no longer drives)
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