firebolt

Haha - that was to que the "you should stay and fix my life" violins. OMG thank GOD for recovery. Not so many years back if I had heard that, my own quack interpreter would have taken it as "omg he so close to being ready to quit drinking!"

Wisconsin

Me too! I drove my girls past our new apartment complex last Friday. We are all so, so relieved to be moving on. And I am so, so relieved to be through that stage where all I ever did was examine every word and action for hidden meaning and signs of some upcoming revelation that would magically make everything OK.

whowho

"I guess I just never thought I was an A because I thought that was someone who wakes up with the shakes." (I mentioned A being a progressive disease)

"I sometimes go a day without drinking and I don't get withdrawl, so I must not be an A."

"I just really, really like the taste of wine."

"I'm drinking less than I used to."

"What about our friend xxx? You don't think he has a drinking problem do you?"

"Everyone else we know drinks a lot."

"I can stop anytime I want. I just don't want to."

"I do better work when I'm drinking. It calms me so I can focus on tedious tasks."

"I'm not a mean drunk."

"I've never missed work because of drinking."

"If you told me I couldn't drink anymore I wouldn't lie and hide it. My personality is that I would have to show you that you can't tell me what to do by drinking in front of you."

"I realize that everything I'm saying could be taken as an A trying to justify his drinking. It's really a no win position."

H: Two drinks a day just seems really low and arbitrary to me. There's gotta be room a little leeway.
Me: Maybe. But I'd hardly call the difference between 14 drinks a week and 35-40 a "little leeway."

Me: Well, we know for sure you have a history of alcohol abuse.
H: ehhh (with a sort of/not really gesture)
Me: It says right here. (showing him his medical history from the doctor)

Wisconsin

I hear "I've never missed work" a hundred bajillion times. Never mind the countless hours of time with his family he's missed.

And although we've never actually HAD the conversation about records that show a history of alcohol issues, my AH has them, too. For him it is the court records from his third DUI...he had to order them earlier this year, and handed me the transcript to read. In it he talks openly and passionately to the judge about how he needs help, he's an alcoholic, etc. And now, of course, he "just wants to have a few beers after work." Quack quack quack!

Lilro

Of course I have to add my two cents in:

Can't you just let it go, That was the past ( when in discussion about his weekend bender on a Sunday AM). I'm like " WHAT??? That was just yesterday!

Well you drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and you're overweight. My answer " is that why you drink?"

You abandoned me. This is after I told him its drinking or our relationship, choose. He did, I left.

I understand my drinking has affected us but I can't stop, as a matter of fact I'm even drinking more now because I lost you. That makes me want to run back NOT!
Last but not least: get your act together, I am done with you. Well, thanks for the warning.

Unbelievable.....

Liveitwell

Okay-I have about a billion of these but had to add from today. My ex hasn't seen his kids (visitation suspended indefinitely) due to judges order since before Easter. Today out if the blue I got a message telling me I better tell him if I'm going to be bringing the girls tomorrow bc if not he will have to tell his attorney to tell the court. Um, okay dude. I laughed so hard-really? Not laughing out if meanness at all-sadness, really. QUACK, QUACK! I half way thought about actually responding by saying "your attempts to bully and threaten me are noted"...but I did not. He sinks himself.

Refiner

BaaahaHA Forourgirls!!! He's so delusional it's sad but funny at the same time he is still trying to bully you! Pathetic!

InfoSponge

Oooo. OOOOOO. Okay, bedtime is delayed by 10 minutes while I type this up lol, I'm so glad this thread was pointed out to me!

First off.. "Assmosis". Lmao!! Tears are flowing from my eyes as I laugh myself in and out of this chair! I dropped my book!

Speaking of books...

(Me, reading Codependent No More a few days ago... He comes outside, studies me a moment...)

AH: Whatcha reading? (Note: He takes pride in the fact that he has not read a thing since Star Wars fiction in the late 80s.)

Me: A book.

(Silence....)

AH: Ah. Well you know I don't bother with that crap. (Silence... Such awkward silence...) It must be good. ('Cause, obviously, I could not possibly ignore his gloriously inebriated presents and let it work a clencher of a novel... probably assumes it's Twilight)

Me: Its magically transformative. (True.)

AH: Transformers?

(Silence. Page turn.)

Me: Sure.

AH: (Retreats to basement after excruciatingly long silence.)


Quotes from the Quackside-

"You spend too much time 'writing'. I don't think you really writing. You would have published by now if you were. Can't be any good if its taking this long to squeak it out." (Two months later...) "I never see you writing anymore. Are you depressed? I'm never going to get to retire if you don't finish this book."

SmallButMighty

STBXAH: " I know it was wrong. I shouldn't have called you a C*** and a B**** in front of our son but you pushed my buttons.. you KNOW you shouldn't do that!"

His idea of an apology.

Refiner

What a pathetic idiotic douchebag he is.

blurple

AH: I don't have a drinking problem. My problem is that I have to hide it from you.

Or, Ah: I'll just be a social drinker drinking on Fridays and Saturdays? (His calendar reads like this Friday Saturday Friday Saturday Friday Saturday Friday)

Missus

In other words, "I'm not sorry, after all it was your fault so you should be the one who's sorry"

smh

Liveitwell

^^ oh my have I been on the receiving ends of those lovelies. My ex was notorious for calling me awful curse words when drunk and then "apologizing" later.
Me-you called me a pu**y and a crazy psychotic bi**h when I confronted you last night and asked you to leave to not disturb your kids.
Him-I'm sorry you're so over sensitive; I sometimes say things that wouldn't bother me but obviously bother you. You know your type A personality and being stressed out with breastfeeding makes you stressed out and I just can't handle it.

No joke. I think that one was my favorite. Dispicable.
Funny thing is, the last night he was at our home was over a year ago-before I called the police on him he had been drunk and saying awful things to me, some that were not even real (seriously!), etc-and I had it-I told him he was just a short angry alcoholic. Not nice, but accurate! Still feel bad for saying that but it is what it is.

Missus

It's almost like you called yourself those things and just blamed him afterwards.

Still smh, it's going to fall off soon

Liveitwell

^^ huh?

healthyagain

That is actually emotional and verbal abuse, or denial of it. Not exactly a quack.

I am so happy this evening (Labor Day holiday), sitting in peace. What can possibly go wrong tonight? No land mines (that is how I called the argument traps stbxah used to set), no door slamming, no arguments out of nowhere. No pretending to sleep, no driving off to store just to avoid fights.

And NO QUACKS!

Although I admit I miss those just a tiny bit.

Liveitwell

Okay, okay-I'll give you a quack-from earlier this year-my ex tested positive on his breathalyzer once again....his message to me? "It was the Listerine! I haven't been drinking". Quack!!!

LSC1

After me being sober for 3 years and still be married to my AH of over 20 years. I STILL find this thread too .... confronting ...... to read in its entirety and to to post my own quacks .. I love reading all yours though. They remind me I am not INSANE!

Missus

Sorry, Forourgirls, I was trying to agree that it's ridiculous to hear someone blaming *you* for the things that *they* say ... sometimes I forget that what I'm typing doesn't come out the same as it sounds in my head :-/

Liveitwell

I gotcha, I gotcha! ^^