Alysheba

NPD is narcisstic personality disorder. Probably a lot of BPD too. Your mom sounds sooo much like mine. Projection of what they do onto you and the twisted, constant abuse and manipulation. Esp when you're down. They don't want you to get up. I'm stuck living with her right now and I am counting the days when I can get away. I am and have been very sick and vulnerable and she makes it almost impossible to get better. Just a tiny bit at a time. I'm finally starting a new job tomorrow, nothing like I used to do because I've been off/sick for so long, but she tries to sabotage everything so she can keep me around and torture me. I am praying to stay strong, make enough money and get the heck away from her. None of my other sisters hardly talk to her and once I'm gone I won't. I'm the scapegoat too. She's done so much to me it's past the point of no return. I think I actually have a severe cast of PtSD from her. Maybe I can get it treated some day. I pray. Hang in there. It really is a nightmare for anyone living with these people.

Hopeworks

You can't pick your relatives but you can nurture a family of choice....

We are your SR family. Have a wonderful serene and heathy Thanksgiving!

Plenny

Oh Aly, stay strong. I'm so glad you have a plan to get out. Good luck to you

LoveMeNow

How do your girls feel about their grandmother?

overit263

Are we sisters?? Your mom sounds JUST LIKE MINE!!!

Plenny

I seriously didn't know there were other people that went through what I went through. I have been locked up (as a juvenile) before because my mother framed me and lied. As an adult, she physically confronted my husband and me and I had to push her off of us. She went to the hospital after we ran off and wailed and moaned, then "decided not to press charges against her daughter." But I don't believe her. I have been meaning to check to see if I have a warrant in that state, but I'm too scared. She will do anything to make my life hell.
If I had called the cops that night she would have blamed me and my husband and I would have been involved in a domestic, in the middle of our immigration trial. She knew we had been working hard on getting his green card. She knew.
Now I'm scared to check my record, knowing her.

Plenny

Can you report a narcissist? Can that be put on record? Like a sex offender or a sociopath??
If I could get my mother on record, I might stop having dreams of her chasing me.

Of course, in my early life I didn't know I could call for help, in my adolescence I wanted to stay out of the system, and in my adult life I couldn't get the police involved because I didn't want to attract attention.

I'd do anything to have a full police record just littered with my mother's name.

lillamy

I hadn't seen this post before now.
And I'm absolutely speechless.

I hope you have wonderful plans for you and the kids for Thanksgiving, that you will unplug the phone, block your family from e-mail and social media, and just enjoy those children and be grateful that while you have to deal with your family, you don't have to be your family. Your mother may be hell to have for a mother, but imagine what it must be like to wake up every morning and be her. Oy.

Refiner

Wantstobehealthy I am SO GLAD you have her figured out and you did not even respond! She is textbook NPD and NO response is the BEST response ever! My sister is NPD and used me as supply her entire life (as well as my Mom). After my Mom's passing in 2010, there is absolutely NO reason I need to have a relationship with NPD sister anymore. And there isn't one. Only an occasional text or email response to something stupid she tries to connect about. And it's only a friendly/professional SHORT response. It has been SO LIBERATING to not have to deal with her dynamics anymore! Oh... and she's a miserable alcoholic that hides it (or tries to) but people are on to her.

DoubleDragons

Wow, aren't these moms fun??? My latest fun episode with NPD/BPD mom and NPD dad was when I sent my father a veteran's day card (he was in the military for five years, not a lifer). My father texts me a thank you for the card but then sends an enormous three text rant about how I should have included my mother because she was left home all alone when he was away, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is what he does to keep in her good graces. Me, being the "good daughter" would normally have apologized and gone out of my way to thank her for everything that she has done, but this time being, happier, healthier daughter, I texted back, "Oh, you could be right." he he he

My parents are now really going strong into alcoholism and I have done therapy with my family of origin issues. I have quit drinking and my children, my husband and I have a much healthier family dynamic than I ever had growing up, so I feel more empowered than ever when it comes to their BS.

ladyscribbler

Wow. This thread makes me grateful that my mom "only" suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. At least that's so big and obvious that she can't pull some of this insidious crap these others moms are doing. She wears her crazy on her sleeve for the world to see.

healthyagain

My mom probably was a bit of a narcissist herself - all into career, ice cold. I have always feared her more than I loved her and my success was there to please her. And even today, so many years after she passed away, I have this unpleasant feeling when talking bad about her, like it is sacrilegious or something. We could never criticize her, we could never oppose her. Oh, God forbid. *shudders* She would crush you like a bug.

I do not hate her, just have this emptiness inside.

Alysheba

Oh Plenny, my prayers to you. It is just devastating to have a mother who is so evil. I'm afraid I understand all too well. Love and prayers to anyone who has to go through this.