Last Night
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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I'm so convinced I will never get over this and not meet anyone else and be happy that I just keep looking back to see what I could've done differently. Was it me? Was I the problem?
if you are convinced, that WILL be your reality. you will be a self fulfilling prophecy, and you will dwell and ruminate and be miserable.
you ask if it was you...well to a degree, maybe so! drinking was a priority for him. but something you would not tolerate and as you said, you berated him about it constantly. for the drinker, alcoholic, drug addict, someone constantly on our @ss about our consumption and behaviors becomes intolerable. he doesn't WANT to quit drinking, or isn't ready to and that is all there is to it.
just like no one can MAKE you get over this....no one can MAKE him do what he does not want to do.
he wasn't the one. you want a sober boyfriend? pick one who does NOT drink. we either accept people as they are....or we don't. there is always and exactly only ONE person we have the power to change....and that is ourselves.
if you are convinced, that WILL be your reality. you will be a self fulfilling prophecy, and you will dwell and ruminate and be miserable.
you ask if it was you...well to a degree, maybe so! drinking was a priority for him. but something you would not tolerate and as you said, you berated him about it constantly. for the drinker, alcoholic, drug addict, someone constantly on our @ss about our consumption and behaviors becomes intolerable. he doesn't WANT to quit drinking, or isn't ready to and that is all there is to it.
just like no one can MAKE you get over this....no one can MAKE him do what he does not want to do.
he wasn't the one. you want a sober boyfriend? pick one who does NOT drink. we either accept people as they are....or we don't. there is always and exactly only ONE person we have the power to change....and that is ourselves.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Boon44, I am beginning to wonder if the MAJOR pain that you are suffering is the fear of being alone--fears of abandonment---fear of lonliness......more so than specifically him?
I'm no trying to say that you don't miss him, and that your aren't hurt by the relationship--just that the fear of being alone is sooo overwhelming.
What do you think?
dandylion
I'm no trying to say that you don't miss him, and that your aren't hurt by the relationship--just that the fear of being alone is sooo overwhelming.
What do you think?
dandylion
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 73
Dandylion,
I think it's a mixed bag, I did/do love him and there were many good things about him and 7 years is a long time...many memories a lot of reasons to work on saving it I thought. But...he did not want to quit drinking I know. I'm doing the same thing I did while I was in the relationship which is to spend a lot of time wondering how I could've done things differently to either cope with the drinking or to get him to see some way to stop. I do have a fear of abandonment, of being alone. It's the thing I fear the most and I don't know how to get through it and I know I stayed in this relationship for a very long time, even came back to it, partly because he was not ALL bad and partly because I don't like being alone. I feel better, more secure, less afraid when I know I have a partner in my life. Now, at 45 I fear I've created by worst fear and that will be the case. He wasn't perfect and he told me many times to just accept him for who he was but the drinking and seeing him drunk and the things he would say and do were just too much for me and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I just never thought he would give me up. I think in the end by being so relentless it made him feel worse about who he was and instead of looking at me and saying maybe she is right and I have a problem he took a look around and found someone who wasn't treating him this way. She was saying and doing all of the right things to make him feel good about himself, wanted and loved where I was turning up the heat in our relationship at the same time to finally move forward past the drinking and into a future. He just didn't want to or couldn't do it and moved on with his life with her.
Anyway, not sure what to do to move forward and I know I sound desperate...I also know I would not want to live with all of the uncertainty and drinking being such a central issue in our relationship. So yes, I live in constant fear, lonliness, and feeling abandoned all of the time now and I'm not sure how to cope...it's awful and my life feels meaningless and horrible on a daily basis. I keep hearing I'm the only one who can change it but I honestly don't know what else to do. Al Anon, therapy, talking to people, etc....nothing seems to make it better. I've almost given up hope that it will ever get better. I honestly hate my life right now.
I think it's a mixed bag, I did/do love him and there were many good things about him and 7 years is a long time...many memories a lot of reasons to work on saving it I thought. But...he did not want to quit drinking I know. I'm doing the same thing I did while I was in the relationship which is to spend a lot of time wondering how I could've done things differently to either cope with the drinking or to get him to see some way to stop. I do have a fear of abandonment, of being alone. It's the thing I fear the most and I don't know how to get through it and I know I stayed in this relationship for a very long time, even came back to it, partly because he was not ALL bad and partly because I don't like being alone. I feel better, more secure, less afraid when I know I have a partner in my life. Now, at 45 I fear I've created by worst fear and that will be the case. He wasn't perfect and he told me many times to just accept him for who he was but the drinking and seeing him drunk and the things he would say and do were just too much for me and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I just never thought he would give me up. I think in the end by being so relentless it made him feel worse about who he was and instead of looking at me and saying maybe she is right and I have a problem he took a look around and found someone who wasn't treating him this way. She was saying and doing all of the right things to make him feel good about himself, wanted and loved where I was turning up the heat in our relationship at the same time to finally move forward past the drinking and into a future. He just didn't want to or couldn't do it and moved on with his life with her.
Anyway, not sure what to do to move forward and I know I sound desperate...I also know I would not want to live with all of the uncertainty and drinking being such a central issue in our relationship. So yes, I live in constant fear, lonliness, and feeling abandoned all of the time now and I'm not sure how to cope...it's awful and my life feels meaningless and horrible on a daily basis. I keep hearing I'm the only one who can change it but I honestly don't know what else to do. Al Anon, therapy, talking to people, etc....nothing seems to make it better. I've almost given up hope that it will ever get better. I honestly hate my life right now.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Boon44, I am beginning to wonder if the MAJOR pain that you are suffering is the fear of being alone--fears of abandonment---fear of lonliness......more so than specifically him?
I'm no trying to say that you don't miss him, and that your aren't hurt by the relationship--just that the fear of being alone is sooo overwhelming.
I'm no trying to say that you don't miss him, and that your aren't hurt by the relationship--just that the fear of being alone is sooo overwhelming.
That really hit home for me. Maybe something to think about for you also?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Boon--seriously, it has been only three weeks since the **** hit the fan (if I understand correctly). The pain will be fresh for several weeks and will fade considerable in a few m onths. It will tend to come and go --like in waves. Each wave lasting less long and getting farther apart as time goes o n. This is the typical pattern for a major heart-break.
It can't be gone overnight--but it won't last forever! It should be past history next year.
You are doing exactly what you should do--alanon, therapy***, talking it out with others.....and pushing yourself to go about your daily life chores.
You will have a excavating job to do concerning your past life experiences--especially childhood ones--that left you so vulnerable to a guy who would only throw crumbs your way. Really, as Honeypig said--you have been alone more time than you realized.
You are stronger than you think. You will get through this---with therapy and alanon and reading (educating) yourself--I absolutely know you can emerge from this time
happy and whole. Never again to live on the "crumb diet"
dandylion
It can't be gone overnight--but it won't last forever! It should be past history next year.
You are doing exactly what you should do--alanon, therapy***, talking it out with others.....and pushing yourself to go about your daily life chores.
You will have a excavating job to do concerning your past life experiences--especially childhood ones--that left you so vulnerable to a guy who would only throw crumbs your way. Really, as Honeypig said--you have been alone more time than you realized.
You are stronger than you think. You will get through this---with therapy and alanon and reading (educating) yourself--I absolutely know you can emerge from this time
happy and whole. Never again to live on the "crumb diet"
dandylion
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
You do not sound desperate. You sound hurt, which is the normal progression to the situation.
I too felt like I would never get over the pain....it's OK to feel and believe whatever you want right now because it's still so raw. You're not a machine that can turn it on or off.
Time....good old time heals all wounds. Keep sharing
I too felt like I would never get over the pain....it's OK to feel and believe whatever you want right now because it's still so raw. You're not a machine that can turn it on or off.
Time....good old time heals all wounds. Keep sharing
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Join Date: May 2013
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After driving 3 hrs from visiting family I made sure to get to an Al Anon meeting tonight. I went to dinner with a friend, but she can be a bit depressive so maybe that wasn't such a great call...know better for next time. Not sure how I'm feeling except tired at the moment. Healthy attracts healthy is what I keep reading so I will use this as my mantra to work very hard at getting healthy so I can attract a better partner for me in the future
as I don't want to give up on my hopes of being in a loving and happy relationship. Maybe I need to be alone for a while to get healthy but is it wrong they getting too comfortable with being alone is not my goal?
as I don't want to give up on my hopes of being in a loving and happy relationship. Maybe I need to be alone for a while to get healthy but is it wrong they getting too comfortable with being alone is not my goal?
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Just wanted to add a quick update. I've not been to a few more Al Anon meetings, still hard to go sometimes but I'm trying to find some that might work for me. I also went to MD and got some meds finally, something to help me sleep and something for the depression. Not anything so strong it will take away all the pain but something to just help me get up and function every day while I learn to deal with all of this.
I also wanted to put something out there that the MD (psychiatrist) said to me yesterday. In asking me my history and about my current situation he asked what kind of an A my ex was, a cold and distant A or a up close and invasive A. While he could be a little of both he was much more of a cold and distant A I told him. He asked if my ex had tried to have any contact with me since I left and I told him no, just a cold text he sent me after I'd moved out stating how much he was hurting, how he thinks daily about what I brought to his life, and how much he will always love me and be there for me if I need him and that he would never discard me...with a Please! at the end of the text. BTW I did not respond to this text and the next time I saw him was when I confronted him at the house when he was with the other person and I spent 2 hours then really saying all I needed to say to both of them. But, since that time nothing from him, no text, phone call, nothing. I've also not had any contact at all with him. He did tell me when I saw him that night how hurt he was that I never responded to his text and I told him what would I have said...he did kick me to the curb and he did discard me so how was I suppose to feel?
So, here is my question...the MD said that some A's can be just so cold and distant that they just cut people off and out of their lives....with no apparent problem. This is exactly what it feels like to me. It's like he has this new person and I never existed at all. 7 years and he has no need to check to make sure I'm okay? To not need to be in contact with me at all? I know in the long run many are going to say this is a good thing for me but to just be CUT out of someone's life like that after 7 years...is this typical of anyone else's experience? It just adds to my confusion and pain over everything. He knew how awful I was feeling and how devastated I was over everything and NOTHING from him? My sister even thinks its odd and says that if the guy had any real feelings or ability to have any empathy at all he would reach out to someone, even if not me, to see if I was okay? Just feels so cold...and creepy.
Oh, but I did get a phone call from his best friend/boss the other day who I'd become friends with over the years and he was very kind, supportive, and is clear about what is going on with my ex. He has known him a long time...since highschool. He said he knew I always wanted to see the best in my ex and how much I tried to make him happy, not feel so negative, etc...but that until he is ready, my ex is not going to change and that no matter who he is with now my ex can't ever have a real relationship until he deals with years of emotional issues. I think this healed a littel part of my heart and I told him so. He shared with me that he and his wife and our group of friends (with whom my ex works so I will likely see little of them now) all think the world of me and have so much respect for me and understand what I've been dealing with all this time and that they've often wondered how I've stayed this long. Again, validating but bitter sweet because it does not change the outcome that my relationship is over. He also told me that my ex has also isolated himself from this friend and one other guy at work that he is close to and is not really interacting or saying much to anyone. In fact he was asked to go to dinner one night by one of these guys he works with and he declined I guess, saying he was just going to bed and it was like around 8:00 which this friend found strange. We spoke briefly about what happened the week before I left and he knows about this other person and that I believe my ex cheated on me and why I think so. This friend new about how my ex was dating this new person b/c he was the one my ex asked a few weeks ago about what would happen if he were to date a co-worker and was told that due to company policy they would both get fired or one would have to quit... that was when the other woman quit her job. So, not such a big secret and I didn't reveal it to this friend b/c he obviously knew. Trying to stay on my side of the street here but we did talk about the likelhood that he and this other person are likely spending their time together and doing things like drinking, smoking weed, or whatever...but the friend says my ex is likely feeling ashamed about some things and does not want to be confronted or deal with talking to his friends about anything so he is keeping his distance. I don't know and I'm not going to seek out any further conversations with anyone about what is or is not going on with my ex, but it was nice to get this validating phone call from this friend.
Looking for any feedback on my thoughts, especially about what the MD said about how some A's can just cut people off and be so cold. In the past he has always called me and told me to come back, feeling guilty, lonely, etc...guess his no need now. I've been replaced...
I also wanted to put something out there that the MD (psychiatrist) said to me yesterday. In asking me my history and about my current situation he asked what kind of an A my ex was, a cold and distant A or a up close and invasive A. While he could be a little of both he was much more of a cold and distant A I told him. He asked if my ex had tried to have any contact with me since I left and I told him no, just a cold text he sent me after I'd moved out stating how much he was hurting, how he thinks daily about what I brought to his life, and how much he will always love me and be there for me if I need him and that he would never discard me...with a Please! at the end of the text. BTW I did not respond to this text and the next time I saw him was when I confronted him at the house when he was with the other person and I spent 2 hours then really saying all I needed to say to both of them. But, since that time nothing from him, no text, phone call, nothing. I've also not had any contact at all with him. He did tell me when I saw him that night how hurt he was that I never responded to his text and I told him what would I have said...he did kick me to the curb and he did discard me so how was I suppose to feel?
So, here is my question...the MD said that some A's can be just so cold and distant that they just cut people off and out of their lives....with no apparent problem. This is exactly what it feels like to me. It's like he has this new person and I never existed at all. 7 years and he has no need to check to make sure I'm okay? To not need to be in contact with me at all? I know in the long run many are going to say this is a good thing for me but to just be CUT out of someone's life like that after 7 years...is this typical of anyone else's experience? It just adds to my confusion and pain over everything. He knew how awful I was feeling and how devastated I was over everything and NOTHING from him? My sister even thinks its odd and says that if the guy had any real feelings or ability to have any empathy at all he would reach out to someone, even if not me, to see if I was okay? Just feels so cold...and creepy.
Oh, but I did get a phone call from his best friend/boss the other day who I'd become friends with over the years and he was very kind, supportive, and is clear about what is going on with my ex. He has known him a long time...since highschool. He said he knew I always wanted to see the best in my ex and how much I tried to make him happy, not feel so negative, etc...but that until he is ready, my ex is not going to change and that no matter who he is with now my ex can't ever have a real relationship until he deals with years of emotional issues. I think this healed a littel part of my heart and I told him so. He shared with me that he and his wife and our group of friends (with whom my ex works so I will likely see little of them now) all think the world of me and have so much respect for me and understand what I've been dealing with all this time and that they've often wondered how I've stayed this long. Again, validating but bitter sweet because it does not change the outcome that my relationship is over. He also told me that my ex has also isolated himself from this friend and one other guy at work that he is close to and is not really interacting or saying much to anyone. In fact he was asked to go to dinner one night by one of these guys he works with and he declined I guess, saying he was just going to bed and it was like around 8:00 which this friend found strange. We spoke briefly about what happened the week before I left and he knows about this other person and that I believe my ex cheated on me and why I think so. This friend new about how my ex was dating this new person b/c he was the one my ex asked a few weeks ago about what would happen if he were to date a co-worker and was told that due to company policy they would both get fired or one would have to quit... that was when the other woman quit her job. So, not such a big secret and I didn't reveal it to this friend b/c he obviously knew. Trying to stay on my side of the street here but we did talk about the likelhood that he and this other person are likely spending their time together and doing things like drinking, smoking weed, or whatever...but the friend says my ex is likely feeling ashamed about some things and does not want to be confronted or deal with talking to his friends about anything so he is keeping his distance. I don't know and I'm not going to seek out any further conversations with anyone about what is or is not going on with my ex, but it was nice to get this validating phone call from this friend.
Looking for any feedback on my thoughts, especially about what the MD said about how some A's can just cut people off and be so cold. In the past he has always called me and told me to come back, feeling guilty, lonely, etc...guess his no need now. I've been replaced...
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
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Yes, I have had experience (not just with As) with people who seem capable of completely cutting someone out of their life with no apparent afterthought or concern. Through these experiences I had to learn that the only person who can ever truly validate me and my feelings and my existence is me. I could no longer afford to depend on other people to make me feel good about myself.
Through the process of learning how to do that, I am admit that on a couple of occasions, I was the person who had to completely discontinue contact with someone whom I could not have a healthy relationship, where the toxicity between us was doing neither of us any good. The sooner we both accepted that we should not expect anything from each other, the better. I believe this is where you are with your ex. You are not involved any longer, so expecting him to check up on how you're doing is an expectation that he is no longer, in any way, obligated to fulfill. Since you cannot change him, you might consider changing your expectation.
I can't give you reasons why or how your ex has done this. And yes, I do believe he has given you a gift in doing so (though I know it hurts to hear that). The longer you stay enmeshed in his business (and getting that download of information about your ex from his best friend/boss counts, in my book, as staying enmeshed) the longer it will take for you to move on to better things. Accepting that you may never get answers to the many "Why's" you have is another way to begin the journey forward.
Good luck to you. Sending you strength, courage, and patience.
Through the process of learning how to do that, I am admit that on a couple of occasions, I was the person who had to completely discontinue contact with someone whom I could not have a healthy relationship, where the toxicity between us was doing neither of us any good. The sooner we both accepted that we should not expect anything from each other, the better. I believe this is where you are with your ex. You are not involved any longer, so expecting him to check up on how you're doing is an expectation that he is no longer, in any way, obligated to fulfill. Since you cannot change him, you might consider changing your expectation.
I can't give you reasons why or how your ex has done this. And yes, I do believe he has given you a gift in doing so (though I know it hurts to hear that). The longer you stay enmeshed in his business (and getting that download of information about your ex from his best friend/boss counts, in my book, as staying enmeshed) the longer it will take for you to move on to better things. Accepting that you may never get answers to the many "Why's" you have is another way to begin the journey forward.
Good luck to you. Sending you strength, courage, and patience.
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 133
Boon, my situation is similar to yours and we are roughly at the same point after breakup. I have had some contact with my ex but initially it did much more harm than good as once he realised that this time i wasn't going to accept his empty sorrys for further "bad behaviour" he turned nasty and has become someone i don't even recognise now. Since i have stopped contact he has sent the odd text seeing how i am but it means nothing now.
As most say, actions speak louder than words. His "hope u feel better soon" s mean nothing because it was his abusive outbursts that brought me to this place.
I know its hard and i feel your pain but what you must remember is that he has to live in his brain and its not a nice place to be.
We will be ok.
As most say, actions speak louder than words. His "hope u feel better soon" s mean nothing because it was his abusive outbursts that brought me to this place.
I know its hard and i feel your pain but what you must remember is that he has to live in his brain and its not a nice place to be.
We will be ok.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
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suggestion #1 - quit trying to analyze and rationalize and make sense of what he did and why. you can keep asking more and more people what they think but the bottom line is.....he ended things and it's OVER. people DO cut others off without another word all the time...in some cases it's healthy to do so, in ALL cases it's THEIR CHOICE to do so.
suggestion #2 - quit pumping well meaning "friend" for info about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. if you two are truly friends surely you can find OTHER things to talk about rather than dissecting your ex.
you keep going over the same plot of land, over and over and round and round and you are creating a deep rut for yourself. the more time we spend over in someone else's head the harder is to find the way back to our own. give yourself a break from all this. spend at least as much time exploring your own life as you do keeping track of his and i think you will be quite pleased.
suggestion #2 - quit pumping well meaning "friend" for info about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. if you two are truly friends surely you can find OTHER things to talk about rather than dissecting your ex.
you keep going over the same plot of land, over and over and round and round and you are creating a deep rut for yourself. the more time we spend over in someone else's head the harder is to find the way back to our own. give yourself a break from all this. spend at least as much time exploring your own life as you do keeping track of his and i think you will be quite pleased.
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Join Date: May 2013
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Thanks for your feedback....still feeling very hurt & vulnerable about many things as I'm sure is obvious and I'm doing the best I can everyday to find my way through this. I'm sure I will do many things that are both good & bad for me during this process but not sure I'm totally going to change who I am. Seems to me if I were able to just cut myself off & detach then I would be just like my ex. My heart is involved & I felt what I felt for him and our life...a lot I didnt like as well & I'm facing & dealing with that. I don't want to suffer longer than necessary & I'm not pumping anyone for info...he & I were also friends and it felt nice to be supported NY someone who was witness to our relationship. Not meaning to sound defensive but trying to learn how to speak of my feelings freely. I'm grieving....& it hurts a lot.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by Boon44
Thanks for your feedback....still feeling very hurt & vulnerable about many things as I'm sure is obvious and I'm doing the best I can everyday to find my way through this. I'm sure I will do many things that are both good & bad for me during this process but not sure I'm totally going to change who I am. Seems to me if I were able to just cut myself off & detach then I would be just like my ex. My heart is involved & I felt what I felt for him and our life...a lot I didnt like as well & I'm facing & dealing with that. I don't want to suffer longer than necessary & I'm not pumping anyone for info...he & I were also friends and it felt nice to be supported NY someone who was witness to our relationship. Not meaning to sound defensive but trying to learn how to speak of my feelings freely. I'm grieving....& it hurts a lot.
Yes you are grieving.
You will notice as you are around here a while, some members feel they need to judge others pain. They forget how messed they were and felt when going through the same sh&t.
Believe me, you are doing great and are exactly where you're suppose to be
hug
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
suggestion #1 - quit trying to analyze and rationalize and make sense of what he did and why. you can keep asking more and more people what they think but the bottom line is.....he ended things and it's OVER. people DO cut others off without another word all the time...in some cases it's healthy to do so, in ALL cases it's THEIR CHOICE to do so.
suggestion #2 - quit pumping well meaning "friend" for info about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. if you two are truly friends surely you can find OTHER things to talk about rather than dissecting your ex.
you keep going over the same plot of land, over and over and round and round and you are creating a deep rut for yourself. the more time we spend over in someone else's head the harder is to find the way back to our own. give yourself a break from all this. spend at least as much time exploring your own life as you do keeping track of his and i think you will be quite pleased.
suggestion #2 - quit pumping well meaning "friend" for info about what he's doing and who he's doing it with. if you two are truly friends surely you can find OTHER things to talk about rather than dissecting your ex.
you keep going over the same plot of land, over and over and round and round and you are creating a deep rut for yourself. the more time we spend over in someone else's head the harder is to find the way back to our own. give yourself a break from all this. spend at least as much time exploring your own life as you do keeping track of his and i think you will be quite pleased.
I do have to agree with Anvil. My stxah's best friend and I have become very close friends. Sure, initially we talked about how ****** up everything is, and he has listened and told me what was going on. I heard things that I probably didn't want to know. I saw texts from my Ah to him about me, I heard about what he said about me to him. Everything, all the dirt, I heard it. And it stung, it sucked and then, I heard he was going back to his abusive alkie affair partner that he left our marriage for initially. Felt like I was hit with a stun gun. My brain literally stopped firing, and I sat there open mouthed, not able to say a word. I didn't need to hear that, you know? But, he did me a favor by telling me. After all, he left me to go get sober right?
I only recently came to a point where, I just didn't want to TALK about him anymore, or even KNOW what was going on in his world. And I told his buddy that, I said, John, unless he's dead or in jail, I cannot talk about it anymore, thank you for being such a good friend to both of us, but, I have to stop going over and over again about what happened and as much fun as it is to make fun of affair chick, she's just as sick as he is, and I don't want this topic in my life anymore and I feel bad for both of them at this point. I'm doing my best to move on and re-hashing everything is holding me back right now. He agreed.
So, we hang out every week and talk about other stuff, like physics, the universe, 80's music, tv, sports...I appreciate him for letting me know what was going on, but I didn't want to sit here 6 months from now still going over the same crap. And he is such a good friend. Both to my ex and I. I really value him as a human.
My husband and I broke up, our relationship is over. Permanently. He has a right to see whoever he wants to, if he wants to revisit someone who destroyed his house and many of my possessions while at the same time breaking his nose, that is his right. It's ****** up, but it is his life, and his alone. Not mine. He left me, twice in the last 8 months, what am I holding on to at this point? I could sit here for the next year and have conversations about how ****** up it is, but, I promised myself, no, this time, DONE, OVER.
It feels really good to be in pain once you're used to it, because that's your set point, that's where you're comfortable. It is uncomfortable to let that pain go and maybe feel, anger, and then, acceptance. And after that, happiness and contentment. But here we are, in our pain set point, not realizing that while it feels like and old friend, that friend is also becoming your enemy.
It is OK to let him go and let him do his thing. Trust me, knowing that he is with a woman he got arrested for beating him killed me. It was also in a way freeing. I know now, I have to let it go, for good. I am not God, I am not all powerful, I have to let him choose his own path. And while he chose really really badly, it is his path to walk. And who knows, maybe they will both get help and be healthy. I doubt it for obvious reasons, but, the world works in mysterious ways.
Let it go and find yourself again. She's waiting inside, and she misses you.
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 73
Hi. So an update. I've been in bed for three days pretty much just sleeping, not really eating or doing much of anything. Not good i know. Started anti-depressant and going to therapy but nothing seems to be making this better. Honestly depression has set in & I can't see my way out of it. Have isolated my self & just keep thinking about exabf. I know he was mean & cruel, especially n the end... Just need some words of encouragement I guess
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