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No idea what to think. None at all. Guidance needed

Old 04-11-2013, 10:02 AM
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No idea what to think. None at all. Guidance needed

A student who is in my room one period a day (and is case managed by my supervisors apparant best friend) announced this morning that he need not listen to ANYTHING I say since I won't be around next year.

I went, a bit later, to let me supervisor know that had been announced to the class and that students knew and it wasn't through my doing (since obviously it is bad form to announce that to kids with so much of the year left) and I wanted to be clear that info had NOT come from me.

Her response was to cut me off and say "actually, you will be recommended for renewal tonight (eye roll)... it wont be for your current position but you are being renewed. Anything else?"

And that was the end. She is in her offce (across the hall from my room) with the door shut. Friends/colleagues of hers have been coming and going (no doubt hearing her vent that she's being forced to keep me by the Superintendent).

I honestly have NO interest in working for her. The hostility from her that has been non stop for 2 days bc of my talking to the Superintendent is making me anxious beyond belief.

Now if I choose to not stay it will be based on a resignation and there goes any ability to collect unemployment and focus on finding a job I actually want.

Feeling a little trapped. A lot actually.

I'm feeling like my head is spinning and I'm in the midst of the type of acrimonious chaos that I had hoped was gone from my life since xAH left my home...

OMG. I am hoping that some of you with less emotional investment in all of this can help me see this more clearly. I am totally, utterly lost with what to do/how to react/what to think... I feel like I am being blindsided left and right.
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:07 AM
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I would stop reacting. It won't change anything anyway.

Keep looking, but do so with a different perspective...one that is looking for a good fit, and listening to feedback beforehand.

We often get into this mindset that job interviews are for the interviewer to determine if they want us to work for them. But what about if you want to work for them? As the interviewee, you also have some power.

Who cares if you are renewed. Today, right now, it is what it is. Leave your supervisor to her own devices. Take care of your business. If that kid acts up, send him to the principal's office. Keep on keepin on. Be completely unflappable. It will get her the most - she wants you to be all riled up. That is the whole point with hostile people.
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:12 AM
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*I would stop reacting. It won't change anything anyway*

expectations are not good....i agree with this statement
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:17 AM
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I will continue to search for a job as my intention was but am just confused about the veritable rollercoaster I have been on for the past 2 days.

To be honest I was looking forward (once the initial panic ended) to having the ability to take my time to find something I really wanted. Now I don't have that unemployment safety net since I actually will be renewed.

Sigh... just a rollercoaster of a week.
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:25 AM
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I am confused about how I am reacting (you mean internally?). I certainly am giving her no indication of my confusion.

I got blindsided with the non renewal after meeting with the Superintendent Tues, got my head around it in a positive way, saw the silver lining and wham, today, blindsided again. I get that I need to see it as "it is what it is" but this flip flop chaos is all too familiar and I don't think is especially normal.

I guess I am feeling like confusion is sort of normal right now...

I've spent a lot of time focussing/breathing/accepting the non renewal part and letting it go as a "it is what it is" thing. So, for me (maybe I am alone) it is a little challenging to go from the ego blow of non renewal, to seeing it as a positive, to being told (with no info at all about what my role will be next year) that I will be renewed (and have to sign a contract or offer my resignation by May 1).

I guess I just needed a space to vent for a minute... There's only so much "rolling with it" in the course of 2 days I am able to handle calmly and internally I am all sorts of confused and upset...

Thanks for letting me vent...
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:36 AM
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I would continue to pursue the job opportunity you were, and if they seem very interested in you, let them know the deadline of May 1st as that could expedite an offer. Make sure you get the offer in writing!

As for your supervisor, what an unprofessional piece of work she is. I wouldn't take anything she says at face value. What's the saying, trust, but verify? I would maintain the contact you have with the superintendent and bring up this latest incident in your next conversation if there's an opportunity. He is aware of what is going on with your supervisor, and I hope he is investigating it for himself. You've gotten the ball rolling on that situation, now keep doing what you are so good at: acting with integrity and with the kids' best interests at heart.

I'm sorry for everything life has been throwing at you, I've followed your story for a while and hope that things will start falling into place for you. You handle everything with grace, and you deserve some good things coming your way. We're rooting for you!
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:39 AM
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Dear wanttobehealthy, having an alcoholic in our lives--or NOT having an alcoholic to contend with---is no gaurantee of anything.

Everybody in this world gets slobberknocked, more than once, by the world at large. I have never--NEVER--met anyone who didn't have some difficult situation in the workplace to deal with, at some time. Sure, it is difficult to deal with.

I think that we get so used to the idea that if the alcholic circus is out of our lives---then it is going to be a picnic. It is a picnic, sometimes--but, not all the time.

Who knew??

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Old 04-11-2013, 10:44 AM
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Tonight is the school board meeting for teacher renewals so either I will have a contract tomorrow or not.

I've never in my life (this is my 15th year teaching) heard of being renewed but not being informed of what the job will be.

I would like to simply say "please non renew me-- that will work out best for everyone" but that wouldn't be professional.

My hope is that my superintendent who clearly is behind my being renewed now vs not, will be involved in the position placement and hopefully it will be in regular ed (which I want to return to) so that I have a different supervisor. There's no way in hell I will work under this same woman next year if I stay. The hostility and target on my back will be unbearable.

I did not share this yesterday but she perjured herself in court yesterday in an attempt to make ME look bad. A student in my program has made great academic and behavior gains since his last court date in Jan. I wrote up a report as I do each time he has court, about his behavior and academics. It was fact based with data to prove what I said.

I got an email from my supervisor when she was at court stating that my "representation" of what the student had accomplished was "grossly exagerrated" and that while she agreed with some of what I wrote, I had "embellished" the facts. Then according to the student and his JPPO who both came to see me irate this morning, she stood in court and said he had not been working hard, slept in class most days, had completed none of his full course work yet and basically took EVERY fact I had written and said the opposite.

No surprise, today the kid is out of his mind angry and ranting and refusing to work. The JPPO came to see the work that is completed and I showed evidence of the fact the kids has completed an entire course since Jan and is 1/3 through another. This is a kid who has done NOTHING for years in school. He finally in the past few months gets engaged and invested and the Dir of Special Ed stands in court and blatantly LIES. Because clearly if it appears I am doing my job and helping kids find success then it makes her claims that I suck appear to be just what they are. Lies.

To lie in court about a kid and do it with no shame at all is disgusting in my book.
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:49 AM
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WTBH, here is a way to look at this.

1. You have a job. That is good. You don't know if it will continue but to be honest, that's life. I have been through so many rounds of layoffs over the past 20 years that I now look at all jobs as temp jobs. If I like it I'll stay as long as I can but I don't plan on it being there a year or two from now.

2. I always keep an eye on the job market simply because something amazing may be out there waiting for me. If it shows up I'll jump on it. So, keep your eyes open, put out feelers if something sounds good and take it one day at a time.

Your friend,
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:54 AM
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This lady sounds like a piece of work. Christ.

The way I see it, you just got a different safety net than you planned for. My thought is that you see what this job is and do what you have to do while ALSO looking for that dream job out there. Have you cake and eat it too.

I am confused about how I am reacting (you mean internally?). I certainly am giving her no indication of my confusion.
Yes, all the worry and "awfulizing" of unknown events just works me into a tizzy. Move forward knowing that everything you do with or around this supervisor will be about her bitterness and retaliation, and let that be your acceptance. Eventually you will be able to get away from her.
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Old 04-11-2013, 11:39 AM
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((WTBH))

I can truly understand the need to vent these frustrating situations and that is why we work so hard at having our recovery in place to be able to do so - keep processing your emotions and not allowing them to control you - great job!

Also something that helps me too is a reminder that I get from one of my sponsors

"Remember that none of this surprises your HP"
although this may not be all that HE intended for you, He is not unprepared to help you, guide you and protect you - reach out for wisdom & grace to do as your HP would direct you.

Sometimes realizing even tho people may have harmful intentions toward you, knowing that your HP can protect you and use those intentions to even better your situation can help you let go of the fear and anger

Just my e, s, & h and my beliefs in a HP - take what you like & leave the rest ~

Wishing you peace

pink hugs
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Old 04-11-2013, 01:03 PM
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Yup, just keep both feet on the ground. See what develops. You are planning for all kinds of contingencies that may never come to pass. It's fine to do a little planning and strategizing, but sometimes things happen/change quickly, so just try to keep your mindset flexible.

It's always better to job-hunt when you are still employed. You are simply more marketable then. Maybe the new position will be fine. If it isn't, you have other opportunities you can pursue.

Try to hang loose.
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Old 04-11-2013, 01:34 PM
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To lie in court about a kid and do it with no shame at all is disgusting in my book.
WTBH,

I so admire those of you who can work with these kids. I have two who have benefited tremendously from people just like you.
Thank you for giving so much of yourself to help kids in need.

I do not know this particular kid, but I do know him (if you know what I mean ).

For him to make this tremendous progress, only to be shot down by the lies of this, this ugh troll, makes me so angry I want to cry.

I know it is not very recovery like, but GOOD GOD, please let karma give this woman a mighty smack down soon. To hurt the kids, no excuse.

Keep doing the next right thing. You are doing great.

Beth
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post

I did not share this yesterday but she perjured herself in court yesterday in an attempt to make ME look bad. A student in my program has made great academic and behavior gains since his last court date in Jan. I wrote up a report as I do each time he has court, about his behavior and academics. It was fact based with data to prove what I said.

(snip)

To lie in court about a kid and do it with no shame at all is disgusting in my book.
So this was yesterday, when she was still trying to torpedo you and counting on your non renewal? (And telling people you had not been renewed?)

And she maybe found out this morning that you are being recommended for renewal?

The superintendent can't think that you can continue to work for her. It doesn't sound like he does (renewed and in a different position?). It sounds like he overrode her recommendation and she did not know about it until today? Is he able to do that?

This is CRAZYMAKING. You poor thing!

I agree with pursuing the other job. If you get it, you can quit this one, right? Or is there a point where you have to sign a contract and then you can't quit for a year?
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
I am confused about how I am reacting (you mean internally?). I certainly am giving her no indication of my confusion.

I got blindsided with the non renewal after meeting with the Superintendent Tues, got my head around it in a positive way, saw the silver lining and wham, today, blindsided again. I get that I need to see it as "it is what it is" but this flip flop chaos is all too familiar and I don't think is especially normal.

I guess I am feeling like confusion is sort of normal right now...

I've spent a lot of time focussing/breathing/accepting the non renewal part and letting it go as a "it is what it is" thing. So, for me (maybe I am alone) it is a little challenging to go from the ego blow of non renewal, to seeing it as a positive, to being told (with no info at all about what my role will be next year) that I will be renewed (and have to sign a contract or offer my resignation by May 1).

I guess I just needed a space to vent for a minute... There's only so much "rolling with it" in the course of 2 days I am able to handle calmly and internally I am all sorts of confused and upset...

Thanks for letting me vent...
I assume you can change jobs later, even if you sign on May 1? (I have not read all of your back story, but sounds like you are a teacher). If that is correct - then keep your options open, at least until you have more distance from this flood of emotion.

You will feel better in a few days. You will find time to execute a job search even if you are working. Keep breathing and think of all these people here sending you warm and supportive thoughts.
xoxox
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Bluegalangal View Post
So this was yesterday, when she was still trying to torpedo you and counting on your non renewal? (And telling people you had not been renewed?)

And she maybe found out this morning that you are being recommended for renewal?

The superintendent can't think that you can continue to work for her. It doesn't sound like he does (renewed and in a different position?). It sounds like he overrode her recommendation and she did not know about it until today? Is he able to do that?

This is CRAZYMAKING. You poor thing!

I agree with pursuing the other job. If you get it, you can quit this one, right? Or is there a point where you have to sign a contract and then you can't quit for a year?
Document this craziness from your boss and keep pushing it up the chain. This is horrible management. Which is not necessarily illegal - but can create litigation risk. Employers do not like risk. So be objective and keep passing this along. Heck, if I were to peer between the lines I can imagine the superindent pondering such legal risk and viola - your contract is renewed - reducing risk.

[Not intended as legal advice].
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:21 PM
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If she keeps it up, skirting her responsibilities and lying, she is the one who will be looking for a new job. Maybe your new position will be HER job!
Chin up!
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueSkies1 View Post
If she keeps it up, skirting her responsibilities and lying, she is the one who will be looking for a new job. Maybe your new position will be HER job!
Chin up!
LOL! I was thinking that too, that would be too funny.
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Old 04-14-2013, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Bluegalangal View Post
So this was yesterday, when she was still trying to torpedo you and counting on your non renewal? (And telling people you had not been renewed?)

And she maybe found out this morning that you are being recommended for renewal?

The superintendent can't think that you can continue to work for her. It doesn't sound like he does (renewed and in a different position?). It sounds like he overrode her recommendation and she did not know about it until today? Is he able to do that?

This is CRAZYMAKING. You poor thing!

I agree with pursuing the other job. If you get it, you can quit this one, right? Or is there a point where you have to sign a contract and then you can't quit for a year?
I can always break the contract-- there is a clause that I have to pay a penalty and surely wouldn't get a recommendation (but I won't at this point any way from my insane supervisor).

It is totally crazymaking and yes, I met with my superintendent on Fri morning and he is NOT happy with my supervisor at all. He has data to see how I've done this year- the progress my students have made- my IEP's etc... and he over rode my supervisor (who he all but admitted was clearly retaliating against me).

I have to meet with her with him in early May to lay out all our concerns (that should be fun) and move fwd. I smiled and said great but inside was like "oh crap". Having a safety net of a job is good. But I will be doing everything I can to find something else bc there is no way I can work under this woman next year. The enormous target I would have on my back would be insane.

Not looking forward to work tomorrow. Not one bit.
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Old 04-14-2013, 06:44 PM
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I wish I could wrap you up in a big giant hug. Workplace crazy on top of everything else? Just. Not. Fair.

****{Big giant HUGS}}}
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