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My wife didn't come home tuesday:( and :)

Old 02-02-2011, 03:34 PM
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My wife didn't come home tuesday:( and :)

Well, my wife ended up not coming home. She has decided on her own to stay longer. She talked to me on the phone, said she did not want me to come visit and that she needed to focus on her!!! That is good news right?
She left a message today for the kids and me saying that she loved and missed us and that she was doing something that she had to do to become a good mommy again. I hope this is a good sign. I know we have a LONG LONG LONG way to go, but I feel this is a good start.

I have an appointment with my wife's previous pseudo psych tomorrow afternoon. I am recording the meeting, with her permission of course.
I read through my closed thread again, went through some more xanax threads and other misc recovery threads.
I have a lot of questions for the docs. I am going to find out how much they know about xanax, the repercussions, what their long range plan for her was. The xanax site says that a 1-2 hour evaluation should be performed prior to prescribing xanax to a patient that does not have a past of anxiety problems. I know for a fact that this was never done. Since I can't help my wife right now, I can do this, and helps keep me thinking that I am doing something productive. My MIL arrives tomorrow prior to my meeting. I am so glad she will be here to help me.

Keeping my fingers crossed...now its time to help the boys make V-day boxes. Yippee!:day6
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:37 PM
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Sounds like good news to me.
For a while there I was really hoping you would get some breathing room. Sounds like you got it.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:37 PM
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That's good news. Hope she is serious because she'll get out of it only what she's willing to put in. I wish you all the best.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:42 PM
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:day6 very hopeful news!!!!
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:43 PM
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That's positive news. Wishing you all the best.

Tx
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:44 PM
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Well, my heart rose with the news. I'm wishing for the best for your family. I'm glad your MIL will be around, too. It's... well not eaiser... when you have family nearby to lend each other strength and support, whether it's to help out with the kiddos or just sitting and sharing a cup of coffee or tea.

Hang in there.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:45 PM
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Wow, that was a fast response! I am feeling much better, as of yesterday, even prior to her seemingly change in attitude. Maybe the 75 degrees and sunny weather helped a bit as well Talking to the counselor helped me as well. The boys and I have got into a mommyless routine, and I think that may be part of it too.

Thanks again, I will post up news as it comes. Maybe I will be that lucky success story, but I do realize that we have a long way to go, and it will be a slippery slope at best. Her sisters and close good friends have been talking to her more than me. It seems to be helping.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by theuncertainty View Post
Well, my heart rose with the news. I'm wishing for the best for your family. I'm glad your MIL will be around, too. It's... well not eaiser... when you have family nearby to lend each other strength and support, whether it's to help out with the kiddos or just sitting and sharing a cup of coffee or tea.

Hang in there.
On a side note, I really like your signature. Great quote.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by MarlinVX View Post
Maybe the 75 degrees and sunny weather helped a bit as well
Ah, well. Now you're just being mean. It's warm here in AK at 35.
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Old 02-02-2011, 03:59 PM
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pft
5 degrees and dropping!

Go mop up some more Vitamin D and sunshine and report back!
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:13 PM
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Well, if it makes you all feel better, I have been begging for snow. I grew up in missouri/ohio. I have two of the best snow vehicles money can buy and I can build, yet I will not get to use them. My in laws are in KC,MO, they got tons of snow!!! I am jealous. Take the sunshine and clear blue ocean, I want 5 foot snow drifts and ditches to pull city folk out of

Back on topic, I just had a huge light bulb come on. While compiling my data for tomorrow, I printed out the list of opiate withdrawal symptoms (and I realized I have been spelling withdrawal incorrectly all this time). Early symptoms (first 12-24 hours) include:
anxiety
increased heart rate
insomnia
fatigue
muscle aches
joint pain

All the symptoms my wife went to the doc for! That was when she was burning through her vicodin prescriptions too fast! It all makes more sense now. They were treating a non-existent condition. I wish I would have thought of this a long time ago. It may have prevented this whole xanax/ambien issue. The opiates were still a problem, but that was all prior to alcohol becoming the issue. Such is life. the quote applies even more now.
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:25 PM
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anxiety
increased heart rate
insomnia
fatigue
muscle aches
joint pain
you have just described side effect of 95% of medications. you left out "constipation".
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:35 PM
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I love snow. (Kind of helps that I haven't had to shovel it.) This winter completely s-cks, though. It rained last night. What is that about? Rain in January-February in Alaska? Come On! It's usually below zero this time of year. Still nothing like the Great Lakes area for cold though.

Eye opener about the withdrawal symptoms. (constipation.....)
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Old 02-02-2011, 04:37 PM
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Originally Posted by kiki5711 View Post
you have just described side effect of 95% of medications. you left out "constipation".
May be a bit personal, but she never had problems with her plumbing...;0

But this list are the symptoms she sought out the psych doctor to get help with. They were presented together, back and joint pain probably written off to her preexisting condition, but the anxiety, sleeplessness, increased heart rate, all those things together should have been a flashing light, instead, they were addressed with xanax and ambien.

Its getting cold now, had to close the windows, thermometer says 59.
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Old 02-02-2011, 06:33 PM
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Good news, Marlin,

Glad to hear she's giving it a chance.
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Old 02-03-2011, 05:39 AM
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Hi Marlin

Glad you updated us. It sounds as though your wife may actually be giving her recovery some serious thought. That can only be good news.

You are seriously bonkers to like the snow. We have had a bit this winter in the UK and it drives me mad. My youngest daughter loves it and spent every waking moment out with her friends.
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Old 02-03-2011, 05:52 AM
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Originally Posted by MarlinVX View Post
May be a bit personal, but she never had problems with her plumbing...;0

But this list are the symptoms she sought out the psych doctor to get help with. They were presented together, back and joint pain probably written off to her preexisting condition, but the anxiety, sleeplessness, increased heart rate, all those things together should have been a flashing light, instead, they were addressed with xanax and ambien.

Its getting cold now, had to close the windows, thermometer says 59.
My husband was misdiagnosed as ADD, bipolar, anxiety disorder, sleep disorder and given meds for all including benzos when in actuality the symptoms were all part of his alcoholism. He became addicted to the pills on top of the alcohol and fully believed he needed all of it to survive for over 10 years. He came close to death many, many times and his life spun completely out of control from his alcohol/prescription drug addiction.

Today he is drug and alcohol free and he is not anxious, bipolar and is sleeping great (sleeping now) ... however he is ADD but does not need meds for that!

Knowledge does not keep you sober but understanding how you got to where you are is helpful in recovery ... let her know that in time she will feel good again without medicating herself if she gets on a healthy recovery path.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Hopeworks View Post
My husband was misdiagnosed as ADD, bipolar, anxiety disorder, sleep disorder and given meds for all including benzos when in actuality the symptoms were all part of his alcoholism. He became addicted to the pills on top of the alcohol and fully believed he needed all of it to survive for over 10 years. He came close to death many, many times and his life spun completely out of control from his alcohol/prescription drug addiction.

Today he is drug and alcohol free and he is not anxious, bipolar and is sleeping great (sleeping now) ... however he is ADD but does not need meds for that!

Knowledge does not keep you sober but understanding how you got to where you are is helpful in recovery ... let her know that in time she will feel good again without medicating herself if she gets on a healthy recovery path.

Thanks for your post, I hope this works out as well like your AH. She has already called me this morning, she was wide awake and sober(not on meds). She is considering allwoing her mom to come visit this weekend. I hope she says yes, but I don't know if my MIL needs to see her like this.
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Old 02-03-2011, 06:50 AM
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Originally Posted by MarlinVX View Post
She is considering allwoing her mom to come visit this weekend. I hope she says yes, but I don't know if my MIL needs to see her like this.
Maybe she DOES need to see her like this. Part of the disease is the hiding, trying to make everything look hunky-dory on the outside while you are dying and desperate on the inside. It's a big relief not to have to pretend anymore.
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Old 02-03-2011, 07:00 AM
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I agree with Lexie.. maybe she does need to see this. 'Our lies keep us sick'.. maybe it's time to acknowledge the elephant in the room.. for everyone (?).

Tx
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