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My wife didn't come home tuesday:( and :)

Old 02-05-2011, 04:11 PM
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take it one day at a time....and now you, please start al anon..and well, over analysing is not going to help either...this is now her recovery and you need yours, as well as the kids...

best of luck to you all...
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Old 02-05-2011, 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted by fourmaggie View Post
take it one day at a time....and now you, please start al anon..and well, over analysing is not going to help either...this is now her recovery and you need yours, as well as the kids...

best of luck to you all...
Yup yup, I start next week. I should here back about the counselor for the boys on Monday. She has been in 11 days now. 17 more days to go. Then the real fun begins...they assigned her a workbook to do over the next week,she finished it today. She read some of the stuff to me tonight. Interesting stuff, a bit 3rd gradish, but I suppose the system has to be applicable for all types of people.
I hope I don't get a workbook to do, I am supposed to start calcII in March...lol.
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Old 02-05-2011, 04:56 PM
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Originally Posted by MarlinVX View Post
I wanted to mention how awesome the military support has been. I asked for help this tuesday, bt yesterday, I had 3 social workers and 2 doctors working to help us. These are good docs, military docs, not money grubbing civilian docs. All my appointments were walk in, they just cancelled and rescheduled their previous patients. They have been awesome, and are helping me with the paperwork to get stationed where I can support my family the best I can, be it near family, or military treatment facilities. A HUGE weight off of myshoulders. I can continue my career, perhaps on a new path, but I can finish my service, and take care of my family!!
I also managed to win the battle of having my wife's prior facility removed from the Tricare sponsored doctor list. It takes a bit of time, but with my recorded conversation and their answers to my questions, it is most likely to be a quick process. I know its a small win, but its a start. If I can do that in a week, what can I accomplish in a year?
That is one of the reasons I miss the Army so much. I had fantastic support form the medical and addiciton specialists. I became visible again.
How much longer till you are done with your service? Retiring?

If you got that hospital off the Tricare list in a week, I suspect you will be running the post in a year.

:ghug3

I am so glad you have a diagnosis for your wife. Now, you know.
And knowledge is power.

Beth
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Old 02-05-2011, 05:02 PM
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OK, here's an example. The tattoos. You "forbid" her to have any that show because it might "eliminate a future job position." Don't get me wrong, I agree with you a hundred percent. BUT, it is her choice to make. You can certainly express your opinion about it, but the notion of "forbidding" something like that is what I would expect a parent to say about a teenage child, not a person talking about his/her partner.

She's an adult. She has the right to make choices, even if they are ones you consider foolish. You can live with the results or not, but you don't have the right to give her orders.

I'm glad you are keeping an open mind about making some good, healthy changes in yourself. It will be a good growth experience.
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Old 02-05-2011, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by wicked View Post
That is one of the reasons I miss the Army so much. I had fantastic support form the medical and addiciton specialists. I became visible again.
How much longer till you are done with your service? Retiring?

If you got that hospital off the Tricare list in a week, I suspect you will be running the post in a year.

:ghug3

I am so glad you have a diagnosis for your wife. Now, you know.
And knowledge is power.

Beth
I have 6 years left to retirement. Not that I am counting the days or anything

Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
OK, here's an example. The tattoos. You "forbid" her to have any that show because it might "eliminate a future job position." Don't get me wrong, I agree with you a hundred percent. BUT, it is her choice to make. You can certainly express your opinion about it, but the notion of "forbidding" something like that is what I would expect a parent to say about a teenage child, not a person talking about his/her partner.

She's an adult. She has the right to make choices, even if they are ones you consider foolish. You can live with the results or not, but you don't have the right to give her orders.

I'm glad you are keeping an open mind about making some good, healthy changes in yourself. It will be a good growth experience.
I understand what you are saying, I don't care what piercings she gets, unless it comes to stretching, which she isn't into. The tattoos thing is a decision we both have to make since it effects both our futures. Decisions that can effect potential income earnings are something we both decide on. Just like when I reenlist, she has her say in it. When I elect TSP (401K) contributions, she has to sign the paperwork, the same as when she started her company's retirement plan, we both had to sign the paperwork. So, with regards to the tattoo, I feel justified in the "boundaries" I placed on their locations. I don't care what the tattoo is, except maybe a swastika or something extreme like that...not that she would, I am just saying. There are some things that I feel are alright to set rules for. She controls my hobby spending, "forbidding" me from buying certain things. Otherwise I would have a $50K rock crawler. I need that policing to keepme from doing that

But big picture, I understand what you are saying, and I am going to work on it...I promise
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Old 02-05-2011, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by MarlinVX View Post
I have 6 years left to retirement. Not that I am counting the days or anything
According to the little countdown gadget on my computer, I have 297 days, 20 hours, 10 minutes and 30 seconds until retirement.

I AM counting!!
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Old 02-05-2011, 05:34 PM
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I have 297 days, 20 hours, 10 minutes and 30 seconds until retirement.
hehehehehe


I have 6 years left to retirement. Not that I am counting the days or anything

I think you gotta wait til you are a year out to call yourself a shortimer.
Then you can start with "364 days and a wake up).
or later, (maybe this is just an enlisted thing )
i am so short i can blouse my underwear!

i love that one.
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Old 02-05-2011, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by wicked View Post
hehehehehe





I think you gotta wait til you are a year out to call yourself a shortimer.
Then you can start with "364 days and a wake up).
or later, (maybe this is just an enlisted thing )
i am so short i can blouse my underwear!

i love that one.
Well, for a temporary light hearted thread jack, I am enlisted. In the Navy, we call them never again days. I will never again have a March 1st in the Navy...and so on. We also have what we call the happiness factor. As your days in gets larger than your days left, you become happier. We even have a complex calculator that tells you your happiness level based on professions. For example, right now I am a clown. When you first come in, you are an accountant. You get the idea. In your last year, you become a Walmart greeter..."Hi, Welcome to Walmart", can't think of any happier job than that
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:00 PM
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Wow, that is amazing how different the language is.
i still like blousing my underwear, but I could be biased.
4th generation Army here.

Beth
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:14 PM
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a complex calculator that tells you your happiness level based on professions. For example, right now I am a clown. When you first come in, you are an accountant. You get the idea. In your last year, you become a Walmart greeter..."Hi, Welcome to Walmart", can't think of any happier job than that
Marlin, if u have any extra time, would you mind writing those out for me? I have a lot more years left and that calculator you speak of sounds like it would be helpful to me to keep a grip on sanity
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:15 PM
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PS You're allowed to hijack your own thread any time you like
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by wicked View Post
Wow, that is amazing how different the language is.
i still like blousing my underwear, but I could be biased.
4th generation Army here.

Beth
We didn't blouse anything until we got cammies in 2010. So it may be awhile before we adopt that phrase
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Learn2Live View Post
Marlin, if u have any extra time, would you mind writing those out for me? I have a lot more years left and that calculator you speak of sounds like it would be helpful to me to keep a grip on sanity
I have duty on Monday, so I will get them off the puter and PM you tuesday evening, or maybe I will post them here...good for a laugh at least (unless you are an accountant or IRS auditor)
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:55 PM
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Thank you Marlin
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Old 02-06-2011, 06:11 AM
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This is the best I could do from memory, I know kindergarten teacher was number ten, that is the love it or hate it halfway point.
I couldn't remember 18, so I put in Real Estate agent. Some of the others may be swapped around one or two positions but you get the idea.
The number represents how many years you have left.

1. Walmart Greeter
2. McDonalds Fry Cook
3. Paper Boy
4. Toll Booth Operator
5. Wedding Singer
6. Clown
7. Stop/Slow Sign Holder
8. Truck Driver
9. Mailman
10. Kindergarten Teacher
11. Verizon Wireless Technical Support
12. Airline Stewardess
13. Walmart Customer Service
14. Border Patrol
15. CNN Reporter
16. Claims Adjuster
17. Sweat Shop Supervisor
18. Real Estate Agent
19. IRS Auditor
20. Accountant
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Old 02-06-2011, 03:31 PM
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Back on topic, tonight's visit was good. She kept thanking me for taking her in, and for everything have done. I tried to emphasize that she didn't need to thank me, she chose to stay there, and that is all she needs to focus on right now.
I tried to point out that is what being husband and wife means, doing whatever it takes to help the other one.
She is back on board the ship again

We were supposed to go on a cruise in March. The doctor said that is a good idea that we still go, that it would be good for us...but cautioned to stay away from the booze...duh!!
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Old 02-06-2011, 04:38 PM
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1-20 are hilarious. Thank you very much Marlin. I'm going to share it at work

Sweet pic. Thanks for sharing. I truly hope she gets herself better. I would just like to suggest that when she gets out she may want to seek out a second opinion on the BPD diagnosis.
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Learn2Live View Post
1-20 are hilarious. Thank you very much Marlin. I'm going to share it at work

Sweet pic. Thanks for sharing. I truly hope she gets herself better. I would just like to suggest that when she gets out she may want to seek out a second opinion on the BPD diagnosis.
That is the hard part about BPD, it is kind of a long term history diagnosis. But from everything I have read, symptoms, history, behavior, it fits perfect. Plus, if its wrong, there are no meds involved, its all therapy based treatment.
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Old 02-06-2011, 05:57 PM
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Lovely pic, nice family.

One suggestion, Marlin, you may want to take it down. Your wife might not appreciate having her photo posted on this forum without her permission. Most of us feel embarrassed enough as it is.

If you can't edit at this point, you can pm one of the mods and ask him/her to take it down.

Think about it.
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Old 02-07-2011, 03:41 AM
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Lovely pic. Marlin. Adorable family.!!

And your wife looks gorgeous. She looks so "worth it" to fight for. She looks kind, loving and beautiful.

Good luck with your family. Stick together! :day6
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