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Old 10-19-2013, 10:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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For the parents...daily support thread


Hi everyone,

I wanted to start a thread today as sort of a daily support for the parents/stepparents/grandparents whose children or grandchildren are struggling with addiction.

I'll start as briefly as possible with my own story.

I married a man whose son is an alcoholic and crack addict, primarily, although he has been known to take whatever he can get his hands on. My stepson's story is a long one of evictions, homeless shelters, jails, prisons, violent encounters with dealers, and so on.

Last year around this time he finally asked to go to rehab after friends found him wandering the city streets where he lives in full blown DTs. He went to rehab, lived in a SLH for a while, got a job, and moved into his own apartment--not fancy, but his.

We just heard from him last night, and he has been fired from his job because of his own actions. We don't know if drinking spurred these actions. He did not volunteer that information, and we did not ask.

Time will reveal more.....and yes, it is painful and sad to just sit with this new information. But thankfully we are not in a tizzy about any of it because we have been through this before and know that panic never makes any situation better. For now, Mr. Seren and I wait, and watch, and think about what we may or may not be willing to do for him if he asks.

Hugs to all, and much love to the parents!
S
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Old 10-19-2013, 10:32 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thank you Seren. I think this thread is an excellent. Nobody knows the pain and torment that parents go through with this awful disease like another parent who has actually walked in the shoes.

Much appreciation,
dandylion
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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wow. THIS is wonderful. Thank you.

Was talking with my Nurse friend today at an Alanoon meeting about SR.

She said she may stop by.

She has a son in the Big House doing time for Drugs, Etc., Inc.

So kind of you to think to put a thread for this.

So if she sees this . . . HELLLOOOO, Nurse!

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Old 10-19-2013, 04:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I have a 22 year old son who is a recovering alcoholic. He'll be a year sober in November. He was off at college and hid his drinking from us, so we had no clue he had a problem. He was self medicating his anxiety disorder and depression with alcohol. I feel blessed that he's doing so well now and is back in college. He'll graduate in June. He was an absolute mess when we brought him home for a semester to get sober. I'm so thankful to AA, his counselor, his medical Dr., and most of all , to God. It was the worse thing we've ever gone through as a family. It pierced my soul and made me a totally different person.
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Old 10-19-2013, 04:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi wolfpackfan! I'm so happy to hear about your son's progress

I love to hear the success stories, because sometimes all we can do is cry.

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Old 10-19-2013, 05:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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seren, I would not jump to conclusions and guess the obvious that he was fired for hitting the bottle? Todays economy isnt easy and people are fired for a wide range of reasons.
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Old 10-19-2013, 05:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi upset...he was definitely not fired for drinking. He was fired because of an action on his part, that may or may not have been fueled by alcohol. He was involved in a physical altercation with another employee. Let's say it is something that seems out of character of the sober him.
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Old 10-19-2013, 05:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thanks

Seren: Thank you for starting this thread, being a parent of an addict, I believe, has very different aspects than any other type of relationship with an addict.
WolfpackFan: My situation is so similar to yours. Our 23 year old daughter was in graduate school and we had no clue was drinking and getting high. It was also to cover up anxiety, depression, and a non-existent self-esteem. We only discovered this a few weeks ago, so we are new to this experience. It has also been such a struggle for our family learning to cope and learning to deal with this situation. It gives me hope that your son will have a year clean in November. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 10-19-2013, 05:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Leana, Welcome to SR...although I hate what brings you here.

Please make yourself comfortable, read as much as you can. A thread that helped me when I first arrived here is this one:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

I'll keep your daughter and your whole family in my prayers
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Old 10-19-2013, 06:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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This should be made a sticky.
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Old 10-19-2013, 06:31 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Well, then we couldn't make a part 2, part 3, etc. once each thread reaches 500 posts

I hope we make it that far with this!!!
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Old 10-20-2013, 11:31 AM   #12 (permalink)
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We have yet to hear from my stepson again. And so we go about our Sunday afternoon

How is everyone doing today?
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Old 10-20-2013, 11:47 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Sorry you haven't heard from your stepson.

I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.

Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
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Old 10-20-2013, 11:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Aren't dogs so funny that way? They have 'their person', and sometimes no one else will do.

I'm glad you got to see your daughter even if only for a few hours
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Old 10-20-2013, 12:14 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
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We have yet to hear from my stepson again.
So he called just to say he got fired? SMH
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Old 10-20-2013, 12:16 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sorry you haven't heard from your stepson.

I'm doing ok today. Daughter visited for a few hours yesterday on a day pass. She spent most of her time playing with her dog, which was nice since the dog misses her terribly. Poor thing (the dog, not daughter) for the 1st week we had her (while daughter at inpatient), she just sat at the window crying. Every car that drove by her tail would start wagging and then when it passed the house she'd just start crying again.

Even the dogs suffer when an addict relapses.
Hey, I live across the river from you, in York! Haha
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Old 10-20-2013, 12:22 PM   #17 (permalink)
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So he called just to say he got fired? SMH
E-mailed actually...he doesn't have the money to put minutes on his phone right now *sigh*
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Old 10-20-2013, 12:32 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Seren, could it be though that he has some mood problems and that is why he was involved in a fight at work? It doesn't sound good though. Wishing you the best.
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Old 10-20-2013, 01:20 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey, I live across the river from you, in York! Haha
OMG, Small world!! Have you had any experience with local rehab's? My daughter is at the Retreat.
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Old 10-20-2013, 01:31 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Seren, could it be though that he has some mood problems and that is why he was involved in a fight at work? It doesn't sound good though. Wishing you the best.
Your guess is as good as any I could make, Upset. We have encouraged him to make appointments for private counseling, but he is never interested.

I suspect it was a combination of a certain amount of immaturity and a fellow employee who was constantly needling him. I think the combination led to this. As I say, we don't know if he is drinking again or not. I certainly hope not, but historically he is rather short tempered when drinking....he is threatening when on crack.

@Leanna, how has your daughter been feeling while in rehab? I hope she has been open to the program and willing to do the work needed!
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