DecBaby

What I find hardest is staying clean. In the past I used my DOC to get through my day. Im lacking the motivation to get things done and the best I can do is take things minute by minute and just get done what I need to in day. Im trying to do things other than the usual mundane everyday tasks like taking my 2 kids with me to get our nails done. My kids are 5 and 3 so I can't just up and do what I want when I feel like it.

Are there any things that you guys do to make getting through your day easier? Any suggestions for a stay at home mom with 2 young kids who doesn't work and is pregnant with the 3rd baby?

emmer

I have a suggestion, get you butt to a NA meeting.

If you really want to stay clean, get to NA, get yourself a sponser, work your program the best you can. Do this and your chances of getting clean and staying clean are quiet good, indeed.

Joe

windysan

I don't do dope no more.

tyler

I make a choice every day not to use, they I do it again the next day. I know that sounds overly simple, but that's worked for me for about 8 months now. It is just not what I do anymore. Some day's suck more than others, but, overall I know my life is getting better.

Just remember that you are now 100% there for your kids. My addiction took me away from my son for the last 5 years. Sad. I chose drugs over him. Really sad. I can never get that time back, but I can make sure I don't lose anymore time with him. That's how I do it. Take care.

jane_668

The same here. I have to remind myself everyday that nothing is too much for me to solve.I try to be gentle on myself. I set small goals for msyelf even like taking a shower or walking for 30 minutes. When I was 15 or 20 days clean, I couldnot make myself get off the couch.I suffered from deep depression. I didnot have any energy to dress up or finish any work. I took multi vitamins and excercised every day. I go to meetings daily and read NA literarture. I call people in recovery or my sponsor when I'm going through tough times. My day today is as I set it to be. I can choose to think OMG how will I ever get over addiction or I can choose to stay positive and say this will not last for ever. It's a small price to pay for freedom.
PS- you have to take care of you so that you can take care of your kids. You are no good for them high. Maybe you can tell someone to help you with the kids till you are healthy enough.

Threshold

I keep my literature REAL handy, in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the car. I pick up pamphlets at meetings, put them in the pocket of my coat, etc. Even a few sentences read while stirring a pot making dinner, or stopping to pee, can get me refocused on my program and out of my head.

I've heard you can get the Basic Text on CD...so you could listen while you drive, do housework etc if reading is impractical.

vicodaniel

One thing I use is my fear of going through withdrawal again. Also take pride in the fact that you are doing something not many can do, and that is get off opiates. Just make using not an option,like not stepping out into traffic or jumping off a building. Your children need you, its sometimes easier to consider their well being first obviously, cause us addicts aren't to great at doing what is good for ourselves

JasonS4NA

Thanks everyone for sharing. And thank you DecBaby for having the courage to speak about your concerns with staying clean

I think just the fact that you brought it to SR for discussion says that you are wanting to do the next right thing.

Here's my experience and why I stay clean.

First reason is my family. I want to keep the family that I have left. Last June, as a direct result of my addiction, one of my kids were removed from my house and now has a new family.
(I'll post the whole story in another thread)

The main thing is that someone found out about me using and decided to report it to the department of human resources (dhr). When they got the report they immediately came and took "Levi." He had been placed with us a year earlier and we were told that we would eventually get to adopt him. We had already accepted him and loved him as our own son. But since the state had legal custody of him at the time, all they needed to remove him from our house was suspision.

So, that day, thanks to addiction, my wife and I lost a son. They also placed me under a safety plan that said I wasnt allowed to be unsupervised with my other son until the investigation was completed.

It took 90 days, but I won my case. See, I was clean and in a recovery program when dhr got the report. So all my drug screens were negative and they didnt have enough proof to hold me liable. That doesnt matter though because the damage was already done.

So yeah, I am motivated to stay clean because I love my family and want us to be able to stay together forever.

I also stay clean because I take pride in my recovery and my clean time. I think we should all be proud of every day we wake up clean and sober. And even after only a couple of days and weeks clean, I refused to give it up. I don't want to go down that road again.


I carry a picture of my kids everywhere I go. Sometimes I look at the pictures to remind me of the wonderful little boy still in my family who still needs a clean daddy. And I also look at the picture of my other little boy, who I still love, and it reminds me that we all have to pay the consequenses of our actions. Using didnt just affect my life.

I believe in you. You can stay clean. You just have to have a little "want to" and keep on trying. Keep coming back, work the steps, call your sponsor. (not necessarily in that order)

Thanks for letting me share.

TakingControl

DecBaby -
Thank you for this post - the information & advice others have given here have been truly helpful for me as well - I hope today is a better day then the last & you have been in my thoughts - our situations are so similar that I really can empathize with your situation - I hope this finds you well & send me a message or a thread on how you are doing - I am here for support anytime -<3 TC

emmer

sorry I missread.......... how do I stay clean? Go to na meetings, doing step work ,I keep a phone list close at hand, pray, post here.. and sometimes if my mind is too jumbled, I do the Windy program.... I just tell myself , don't use ........ don't use.

Tonight I am having a really tough time...... but i know I'll go to sleep clean.

Dee74

I use a modified Windy method too

1. don't do booze or dope
2. do whatever it takes to follow rule one

Posting and reading here daily helps a lot, keeps me focused...gives me support when I need it.
Giving back is important too - helping others helps give me perspective too and I think that's important

as is just living my life really - dealing with stuff, solving problems...doing all that without getting stoned got me new coping skills and made the next crisis easier...and so it goes

it seems like a long road now...but keep moving forward...it does get better Dec
D

scottishmayne

Hey I'm new here.. i read from this site a few times, when I was going through withdrawals.

I had been trying to kick and would keep relapsing on cocaine.. i started when I was 33 and I'm gonna be 35 in Jan. I been clean since 11-12-09 and i still have issues where my mind tells me that I can use again, cause I'm not using everyday like before. only problem is that i have always been a pot smoker so I resorted back to that. the pot i can quit i do that from time to time... the cocaine is a MAJOR problem for me.. I don't ever wanna use cocaine again.


I plan on being on this site for some time..


getting clean is easy... then comes life.

DecBaby

My thoughts exactly. I find the struggle is STAYING clean.

I would like to get to some meetings but probably won't make it until after the holidays or my husband gets home. Maybe we can even go together.

I have been forcing myself to reach out to other people. I think it helps to be around others even if I don't feel like it. Having someone come over, dragging the kids with me to see a friend, feeling like Im a part of the outside world ends up feeling better than staying inside.

Thank you for all your suggestions!

tsmba

I have to do it ODAAT. I could never begin to count the number of times when I firmly believed I was through with using. Looking back, I recognize that my resolve was firm and I was committed at those times. My problem was that, no matter how dedicated I was one day, another day would come when all that commitment went out the window. Being on this merry-go-round for years really did a number on my self-confidence, and I was convinced I was beyond help.

tyler

Welcome to SR!! I had the exact opposite problem as you. I could do coke from time to time and never got hooked on it. Now the pot was a major problem that hung on for over 20 years. Caused an amazing ammount of damage in all areas of my life. I've got about 8 months clean from pot and other drugs now and I gotta say, it feels pretty good. There are the days I still crave it, had some using dreams last night in fact. But I just try to stay clean today, right now in the present. If you keep doing it long enough you'll find it to be pretty effective. Take care.

CrackQuack

A lot of us used our DOC to get through the day, eventually, or at one point or another. I was up so many nights a week, and ALL weekend, nearly every weekend, that I didn't know what to do when I wasn't up smoking crack. I was still UP. Mostly because I was used to it. So I'd get some pretzel sticks and pickles (odd combo I know, but I love the taste and the salt!), get out a book, and read. Maybe, instead of getting nails done, which can be time consuming and expensive, especially with small children, take them to the dollar store to get crayons, paper, pencils, safety sissors, whatever you need for an arts and crafts day. Just get down with them and play too. Kids can keep you extremely busy, when they are young, and I bet even some board games would be fun to play. Candy Land. Sorry. That thing with the pop-o-matic bubble.. I forget what that one is called.
Go to the library and pick out some baby books and teach the little ones about how their new brother or sister is growing.
Movies are great! Popcorn and DVD's. Can never go wrong with that.
When they are napping (and I hope they do, to give you a break), bake something. Even if you don't eat it (I WILL! Send it to me! LOL). It sounds so cliche' I know, but you can do that, or get online and look up stupid stuff like the best of craigslist or peopleofwalmart.com. I LOVE the last one. You will see some of the GOOFIEST photos of people ever!
I also like Ebaums world. Nothing beats looking at the naughty section of Ebay too. If they still have it. You go there and there is a link called "everything else" and there are some bizarre videos, trinkets, toys, etc. Some funny. Some just plain weird.
But all those things are good distractions and the family stuff will bring you closer to your children.
Keep taking it minute by minute. Pat yourself on the back for realizing that and coming here to find things to do. And keep coming back. SR is great for support, but also an excellent distraction!
It will be hard to get motivated, at first. What I did was load up on the bad stuff ( Mountain Dew, donuts, Coca-Cola, sweet tea, pie, cake, anything over the top sugary) to get me going. I don't know if you can do anything like that with a baby?? But maybe a cup of coffee or some sweet tea won't hurt the baby? IDK. Be sure to ask your doctor before loading up on sugar.
:ghug3
I am sure plenty of other people will have some great ideas too! Hope some of them will work for you!

DecBaby

CrackQuack

Great suggestions! I would recommend arts and crafts for EVERYONE LOL! Reminds me, I have some paints and wooden animals that we can paint and make into magnets....think I'll drag that out later.

And are you kidding? I think sugary junk foods are the one things I can indulge in. LOL

Insulated

If you have an addiction and are struggling to stay clean, please talk to someone. Try an NA meeting. You will be greeted and embraced without judgment.

meditation

I used a journal and still do. Whenever I feel depressed or have a craving or negative emotion I would write about what the feeling was that was making me feel so bad. It helps get out the emotion and it gets to the root of the problem. Some people go a step further and put those emotions on paper into a box that they send to their higher power as a form of letting go of that emotion and releasing it.

I also meditate and found some very nice mediatative tapes and cd's out there. Some of the more expensive ones will guide you thru an meditation. It's relaxing and usually only takes about 15 minutes of time to enjoy.

Lots of people go into yoga, some go to meetings, some phone a friend to talk with, some exercise. Some go to intense outpatient therapy that helps to prevent relapses. Otherwise called IOP sort of like going to rehab but you live at your own home just attend class. Some people get a therapist that specializes in drug addictions.
There are many ways and programs and therapies out there.

change4penny

Hi, I'm a recovering opiate/crack/cocaine addict, 15 months clean.
What keeps me clean? First and foremost, God and prayer.
Second, memories of my detox and memories of what I had become and the desire to not want to ever be that person again....that fiend, that liar, that thief. That person who was so self absorbed that I could not love anyone or anything, including myself...except those drugs.
I never want to revisit that nightmare ever again.....That's what keeps me clean.

Penny