I'm living Benzo free Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Steely 
Maybe try not fighting the anxiety Patricia , let it be.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Wow, our thread is really hopping today!
Thx Astro! It's beautiful here again too...makes me feel like spring is just around the corner.
Patricia, so glad to have you back with us hun. Well done on 1 wk! I think you have a lot on your plate...anxiety, relapse, marital problems & depression. Each of these by themselves is hard to deal with, but when combined, I can completely understand why you're overwhelmed. What do you think about seeing a therapist? I saw one on n off for yrs and she really helped me.
Wolfy, have a wonderful day!
Blacky, if I had a stick built house, I'd hired you to rebuild it any day!
Winslow, I'm sorry things aren't that great w/the hubs right now. My hubs went through a mid life crisis too....thought he wanted to be single like his best friend. It took us awhile, but we worked it out.
I can just picture your grandson doing deep breathing with you...so adorable!
Steely, have a great day at your brother's!
(( Hugs )) all!
Thx Astro! It's beautiful here again too...makes me feel like spring is just around the corner.
Patricia, so glad to have you back with us hun. Well done on 1 wk! I think you have a lot on your plate...anxiety, relapse, marital problems & depression. Each of these by themselves is hard to deal with, but when combined, I can completely understand why you're overwhelmed. What do you think about seeing a therapist? I saw one on n off for yrs and she really helped me.
Wolfy, have a wonderful day!
Blacky, if I had a stick built house, I'd hired you to rebuild it any day!
Winslow, I'm sorry things aren't that great w/the hubs right now. My hubs went through a mid life crisis too....thought he wanted to be single like his best friend. It took us awhile, but we worked it out.
I can just picture your grandson doing deep breathing with you...so adorable!
Steely, have a great day at your brother's!
(( Hugs )) all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by kzaug2014
What do you think about seeing a therapist? I saw one on n off for yrs and she really helped me.
That's why I think that these panic and ridiculous thoughts are because I'm withdrawing from benzos. What do you think?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
I think that most people would be feeling panic and unpleasant thoughts this soon after relapse and tapering from benzos hun. You're doing the best you can & you need to give yourself credit for the positive steps you've taken.
I recently said that my 2 favorite places to be when I.was withdrawing were in the tub and outside, soaking up the sun. My anxiety didn't seem as severe in these places...especially outside. You could give these ideas a try.
Huge (( Hugs ))
I recently said that my 2 favorite places to be when I.was withdrawing were in the tub and outside, soaking up the sun. My anxiety didn't seem as severe in these places...especially outside. You could give these ideas a try.
Huge (( Hugs ))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
I agree with Kzaug Patricia and reckon it's highly likely that intrusive thoughts and panic could be part of WD. Intuitively it makes sense. I know that I don't get near as much morbid thinking and anxiety since getting sober and meaning it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
I think you're right Steely. I spent an hour watching funny cat videos on Youtube just to try and feel better and the intrusive thoughts kept coming up, same with the waves of panic.
I try every relaxation technique I could possibly think of and it only gives me 10-15 minutes relief...the thoughts and the panic come back
And when these thoughts come back I immediately think I need a pill...and I'm running low and what if the Dr won't prescribe me anymore. I'm losing my mind...
I try every relaxation technique I could possibly think of and it only gives me 10-15 minutes relief...the thoughts and the panic come back
And when these thoughts come back I immediately think I need a pill...and I'm running low and what if the Dr won't prescribe me anymore. I'm losing my mind...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
Hi Patricia,
Do you see a psychologist to help you better manage your panic and intrusive thoughts? I am so sorry this is happening to you, panic is very frightening but can be managed and is treatable. Surely your doctor would not refuse to prescribe knowing your levels of anxiety and you could not just jump off cold.
Do you see a psychologist to help you better manage your panic and intrusive thoughts? I am so sorry this is happening to you, panic is very frightening but can be managed and is treatable. Surely your doctor would not refuse to prescribe knowing your levels of anxiety and you could not just jump off cold.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
So I installed the siding yesterday and everything is painted and sealed up outside on my job. I moved inside to remove the shee trock and cut into the wall at the ceiling with a razor knife and .. ANTS ! ,, started pouring out .. oh jeez now what ..
I have seen this before when removing rotten wood on the outside of a house where about a gazzillion ants were pouring out everywhere so I expected something like that .. and had the homeowner get some spray as I pulled the wall open .. was not that bad .. or the spray had them change their direction IDK ..
That was the end of the day and I left. I want the wall to dry out a few days before I close it up.
So this is my weekend .. and .. the kitchen sink is clogged and the disposal which I was using to force water down the pipes threw a bearing or something .. grrrrrrr .. guess I will switch to being a plumber now ..
Everyone have a good day ..
I have seen this before when removing rotten wood on the outside of a house where about a gazzillion ants were pouring out everywhere so I expected something like that .. and had the homeowner get some spray as I pulled the wall open .. was not that bad .. or the spray had them change their direction IDK ..
That was the end of the day and I left. I want the wall to dry out a few days before I close it up.
So this is my weekend .. and .. the kitchen sink is clogged and the disposal which I was using to force water down the pipes threw a bearing or something .. grrrrrrr .. guess I will switch to being a plumber now ..
Everyone have a good day ..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
Morning everyone,
Sorry Patricia I scrolled back over your posts and found that you are seeing a psychologist. It is really difficult to make suggestions because I don't know your history I can only speak from my own experience and what I have witnessed in the world. It makes perfect sense that you would be feeling anxiety and panic following a relapse and in midst of withdrawal. A relapse can be devastating in the best of circumstances. I get anxious following but mainly deep depression and disappointment in my already shaky self. It's cruel. These are my thoughts: Do you think it is the right time for you to withdraw given that you are also giving up alcohol? If you set your task solely on stopping drinking and getting a good handle on it maybe then look at reducing the benzo's? One thing at a time approach and not so overwhelming. Would your doctor and psychologist support you in taking this tack and has your doctor and psychologist spoken to each other to work out a concerted, holistic and team approach to your distress? And don't forget you are on the team. My understanding is that the most successful approach to panic, intrusive thoughts and anxiety is out of all that CBT stuff and definitely a halt to the grog which only serves to quadruple the problem. I would be doing one thing at a time, it's not a race to the finish. If you can relax in the thought that you don't have to do everything at once it might help to stop your head spinning. You will have focus. Are you withdrawing from the benzo's voluntarily or are you being heavied into withdrawal by your doctor who doesn't want to prescribe any longer? My thinking is that now you have stopped drinking your anxiety will decrease and will give you the space required to work on your anxiety. You will have a benchmark from which to work. You sound completely overwhelmed with the intensity of your anxiety and I can't help but say - one thing at a time. Remember the fable of the hare and the tortoise? Feel safe today Patricia.
Sorry Patricia I scrolled back over your posts and found that you are seeing a psychologist. It is really difficult to make suggestions because I don't know your history I can only speak from my own experience and what I have witnessed in the world. It makes perfect sense that you would be feeling anxiety and panic following a relapse and in midst of withdrawal. A relapse can be devastating in the best of circumstances. I get anxious following but mainly deep depression and disappointment in my already shaky self. It's cruel. These are my thoughts: Do you think it is the right time for you to withdraw given that you are also giving up alcohol? If you set your task solely on stopping drinking and getting a good handle on it maybe then look at reducing the benzo's? One thing at a time approach and not so overwhelming. Would your doctor and psychologist support you in taking this tack and has your doctor and psychologist spoken to each other to work out a concerted, holistic and team approach to your distress? And don't forget you are on the team. My understanding is that the most successful approach to panic, intrusive thoughts and anxiety is out of all that CBT stuff and definitely a halt to the grog which only serves to quadruple the problem. I would be doing one thing at a time, it's not a race to the finish. If you can relax in the thought that you don't have to do everything at once it might help to stop your head spinning. You will have focus. Are you withdrawing from the benzo's voluntarily or are you being heavied into withdrawal by your doctor who doesn't want to prescribe any longer? My thinking is that now you have stopped drinking your anxiety will decrease and will give you the space required to work on your anxiety. You will have a benchmark from which to work. You sound completely overwhelmed with the intensity of your anxiety and I can't help but say - one thing at a time. Remember the fable of the hare and the tortoise? Feel safe today Patricia.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all,loved your post Steely😊 I'm in much the same predicament as Patricia, I'm only 4 months sober and I'm trying to taper klonipin slowly just cuz I'm waiting for someof al anxiety to pass,iI know i'll get more of an equilibrium with sober time its just figuring out what I'm comfortable with, Kzaug,feel better,glad you got your blood work done,Blacky,how are you feeling? I feel exhausted, didn't sleep the greatest last night, grrr😊
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
Hi Kzaug and Winslow. Yeah, slow and steady wins the race I reckon, and is the way I am doing it. And was going to suggest Patricia that you send me some good vibes 'cause I made
2 months. Woo hoo! If you send good vibrations maybe you'll start feeling good vibrations. That was a backhanded way of getting a compliment, hey? haha
Glad you got the blood work done kzaug and hope all comes back well. Had a crap day yesterday with my mad brother and my old mother came home feeling really depressed. Lots of crap childhood memories particularly when looking in my old bedroom which I shared with my sister. I remembered lying in bed listening to my alcoholic father and tee total mother arguing and feeling really anxious. Had no words for it then and as a builder Blacky you would know that wall plaster that has sorta string through it? I used to pull the string out of the wall and used to imagine I was either cutting my way outa there or dismantling the house string by string. Hmmm, String Theory. Have a good day everyone and thanks for being there, it matters.
2 months. Woo hoo! If you send good vibrations maybe you'll start feeling good vibrations. That was a backhanded way of getting a compliment, hey? haha
Glad you got the blood work done kzaug and hope all comes back well. Had a crap day yesterday with my mad brother and my old mother came home feeling really depressed. Lots of crap childhood memories particularly when looking in my old bedroom which I shared with my sister. I remembered lying in bed listening to my alcoholic father and tee total mother arguing and feeling really anxious. Had no words for it then and as a builder Blacky you would know that wall plaster that has sorta string through it? I used to pull the string out of the wall and used to imagine I was either cutting my way outa there or dismantling the house string by string. Hmmm, String Theory. Have a good day everyone and thanks for being there, it matters.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
The string was horse hair.
Old houses used it to strength and bind the plaster over wooden lathe.
I learned the hard way about what it takes to rip that stuff out.
I have also repaired the cracks in a ceiling of an historic 1700's era house.
I used about 200 ft of joint mesh, that was an ordeal.
On this house:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poplar...k,_Virginia%29
Old houses used it to strength and bind the plaster over wooden lathe.
I learned the hard way about what it takes to rip that stuff out.
I have also repaired the cracks in a ceiling of an historic 1700's era house.
I used about 200 ft of joint mesh, that was an ordeal.
On this house:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poplar...k,_Virginia%29
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
So my plumbing endeavor ended with me using a shop vac to clear the water from the double bowl kitchen sink .. the thing is clogged bad .. I reversed the vac and tried to blow air in to see if that would help .. no .. time for the snake .. grrrrrr ..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,596
What a beautiful old house and the horse hair makes sense given my predicament. I did a reverse vac job in that the hose on my vacuum cleaner was clogged and couldn't poke it out with a stretched wire coat hanger so blasted it through with a jet of water. Thought I was Apprentice of the Year. Am going to make a concerted effort to clean up this dump of a flat today. It's a good flat but a big mess too. I know it will make me feel better and can now see the limits and burden of procrastination. Hope you are feeling better kzaug and your tests come back clear. It's a **** off to get sick after just getting sober, I know. Hope Patricia is OK and am now going to clean the kitchen. Housework, you can do it one day and 6 months later it's back. Saw that on a greeting card.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Ok, it is day 2 off of lexipro and I am feeling better than on it.
The weird on edge and other uneasy sort feelings that I would get after taking it have subsided. The increased swallowing is not apparent now either.
Well it was till I just thought about it .. grrrrr ..
I also think it was a mistake to start taking lexipro as I was starting to get off klonopin. It made it difficult to know what was causing what feelings.
The person that prescribed the lexipro and also set my taper schedule is what is called a Physicians Assistant who under a doctor is allowed to write scripts. I never saw an actual Dr. My trust was ok at first but eroded after I mentioned having withdrawals from klonopin after 11 days that she dismissed saying it should have been over. Having read a lot about the klonopin medication I know that was normal and can go on a lot longer.
I was only prescribed klonopin as I told my GP I had quit drinking and was on edge, this was another time about 2 years or so ago. I never had an anxiety problem before that I took any benzo's for.I have taken all manner of other anti-depressants over time that were also prescribed after seeing doctors after quitting alcohol after some sort incident. Having an addictive personalty I asked for medication or was receptive when it was mentioned.
I have been sober before for years and took no medication and was fine.
So I want to clear my head and body of these sorts of medication and then see
how I am feeling.
The weird on edge and other uneasy sort feelings that I would get after taking it have subsided. The increased swallowing is not apparent now either.
Well it was till I just thought about it .. grrrrr ..
I also think it was a mistake to start taking lexipro as I was starting to get off klonopin. It made it difficult to know what was causing what feelings.
The person that prescribed the lexipro and also set my taper schedule is what is called a Physicians Assistant who under a doctor is allowed to write scripts. I never saw an actual Dr. My trust was ok at first but eroded after I mentioned having withdrawals from klonopin after 11 days that she dismissed saying it should have been over. Having read a lot about the klonopin medication I know that was normal and can go on a lot longer.
I was only prescribed klonopin as I told my GP I had quit drinking and was on edge, this was another time about 2 years or so ago. I never had an anxiety problem before that I took any benzo's for.I have taken all manner of other anti-depressants over time that were also prescribed after seeing doctors after quitting alcohol after some sort incident. Having an addictive personalty I asked for medication or was receptive when it was mentioned.
I have been sober before for years and took no medication and was fine.
So I want to clear my head and body of these sorts of medication and then see
how I am feeling.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Mi
Posts: 1,318
Hi guys,
Steely, your housework greeting card made me laugh! That's exactly what I thought about housework when I was on all those meds...lazy, lazy, lazy lol. I've done more around the house in the past year than In the previous 10yrs combined yikes! And my hubs has literally scrubbed every nook and cranny including the walls, cupboards, drawers and closets. I think he's gotten OCD now...I don't mind 1 bit though because he leaves me to my "normal" cleaning ( picking up, vacuuming, dusting, ect. ) Plus every surface of our home is getting clean enough to eat off from lol.
Blacky, I'm really happy to hear you got off lexapro. Good for you!
Don't even get me started on PA's...oops too late lol! I have exactly zero respect for the many PA's that my hubs and I have dealt with. One that my hubs was seeing told him that w/his medical background & his Brittle Type 1 Diabetes, he had about 10 yrs to live! That was 12 yrs ago & he promptly switched doctors. We both to a large clinic for about 7yrs., where doctors commonly left all the time...meaning we would be transferred to the newest PA at the clinic ugh. One PA cut my klonopin dosage in 1/2...without even telling me. I just showed up at the pharmacy & was like "where's the other half of my script?" Lol! I went over her head to the MD in charge, who temporary took me as his patient. And it was my hubs PA who had me discharged from our doctors office ( & my doctor, who I had been seeing for 2yrs just signed off on me w/o it even talking to me 1st. )
I'm sure there must be some good PA's out there, I just haven't met any. Okay...rant over lol.
I'm feeling better today...yea!
I got a message saying my blood work results were in & I could go see them at some website. I'll check that out later, but I figure if they're available on a .com, then I'm not dying lol.
I haven't been able to give up sugar 100%, but I've cut back a lot. And I'm still exercising ( cept for yesterday. )
Winslow & Patricia, how are you two doing?
(( Hugs ))
Steely, your housework greeting card made me laugh! That's exactly what I thought about housework when I was on all those meds...lazy, lazy, lazy lol. I've done more around the house in the past year than In the previous 10yrs combined yikes! And my hubs has literally scrubbed every nook and cranny including the walls, cupboards, drawers and closets. I think he's gotten OCD now...I don't mind 1 bit though because he leaves me to my "normal" cleaning ( picking up, vacuuming, dusting, ect. ) Plus every surface of our home is getting clean enough to eat off from lol.
Blacky, I'm really happy to hear you got off lexapro. Good for you!
Don't even get me started on PA's...oops too late lol! I have exactly zero respect for the many PA's that my hubs and I have dealt with. One that my hubs was seeing told him that w/his medical background & his Brittle Type 1 Diabetes, he had about 10 yrs to live! That was 12 yrs ago & he promptly switched doctors. We both to a large clinic for about 7yrs., where doctors commonly left all the time...meaning we would be transferred to the newest PA at the clinic ugh. One PA cut my klonopin dosage in 1/2...without even telling me. I just showed up at the pharmacy & was like "where's the other half of my script?" Lol! I went over her head to the MD in charge, who temporary took me as his patient. And it was my hubs PA who had me discharged from our doctors office ( & my doctor, who I had been seeing for 2yrs just signed off on me w/o it even talking to me 1st. )
I'm sure there must be some good PA's out there, I just haven't met any. Okay...rant over lol.
I'm feeling better today...yea!
I got a message saying my blood work results were in & I could go see them at some website. I'll check that out later, but I figure if they're available on a .com, then I'm not dying lol.I haven't been able to give up sugar 100%, but I've cut back a lot. And I'm still exercising ( cept for yesterday. )
Winslow & Patricia, how are you two doing?
(( Hugs ))
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
