Steely

Sweet dreams Kzaug.

Soberwolf

Have a nice day Kzaug

kzaug2014

Ty guys!

It's gorgeous out today! The sun is shining brightly & it's warm! We opened up the windows for the 1st time this yr, I'm jamming to Kiss & I'm happy to be alive! This weather alone puts me in a great mood!

Drugs killed my love of great weather and great music for 10yrs. They also killed my love of nature, God, my family...just about everything except the drugs. I don't ever remember waking up grateful to be just alive back then.

How I let myself slide that far into disregard for everything is beyond me! Today, I am so grateful that I became an heroin addict. Otherwise, I'd probably still be stuck in my own little drug dulled world, unwisely thinking I needed those medications.

Have an awesome day everyone and huge (( hugs ))

Soberwolf

Enjoy the weather its cold windy & raining where I am

I'm going to pretend I have your weather x : )

Steely

The weather here is really changeable sunny humid drizzle rain hail electric summer is changing in Australia. Not as many little insects and stuff that are usually around this time of year. Am feeling a little unmotivated and depressed with some anxiety. Standard I suppose, given that I am reflecting now sober on how I let my entire life go down the gurgler. Eek! Not too morbid but it doesn't have me doing an Irish jig. Break on through to the other side. Have a good day/night everyone.

kzaug2014

Hi Wolfie! I like your way of thinking!

Steely, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. If I may make a suggestion...maybe today would make a good day to do some therapeutic reading? The "sticky" on the top of the Anxiety Forum page entitled Emotional Memory Management is awesome.
Learn to retrain your brain! I used to be a very pessimistic person....my catch phrase was "if it weren't for bad luck..." well, you know the rest. When I quit drugs, I thought "this is a new chapter in my life & I'm going to make the best of it." I can't tell you how much turning into an optimist has helped me to to remain clean!

Blacky and Winslow, how are you guys doing?

(( Hugs )) to everyone!

Blacky

Here is what I did today.

This is the exterior wall of a house that has a deck and balcony above that was not installed correctly. This allowed water to enter the wall above and over a few years rot out the framing all the way down.

A former 2 x 4 in the wall.



Inside the wall.



New framing.



This corner of the house goes up 2 stories.



Now that I have the wall a bit more solid I can rip out the damaged sheet rock
in the room without the window falling out.

mmmmm coffee ..

..did not notice this swallowing thing at work but now that I am home it is back or I am thinking on it .. grrrrr .. I thought of jamming a sock in my mouth trying to sleep last night ..

kzaug2014

Holy cow! Water did that? There's nothing left of that 2x4 yikes! It looks like you're doing a fabulous job Blacky! I'm no professional, but it all looks pretty nice and squared in to me!
I hope it helps to know you're not alone w/that swallowing fiasco. I was in rehab when it 1st happened to me and thank goodness my counselor knew that was a symptom of withdrawal.
That suggestion I made to Steely about changing the way ya think pertains to you and Winslow too, if you are interested.
It's helped me so much to be happy. When I 1st got clean, I, too, would have thought "I've wasted so many yrs.!" like Steely said. Now, I think "I've got the rest of my life to live the life God wants me to!"
You're all pretty early in your sobriety...It's taken me 1 1/2yrs to get to the point I'm at ( happy & content. )

Peace! And (( hugs! ))

Steely

I am adopting that stance Kzaug in that I can now plow what is left of my life into something constructive and happy making so thanks for that. I'm dying sober! That house looked like it was about to collapse Blacky and looked like a big job. You are doing great. I will try on that reading Kzaug.

kzaug2014

That's wonderful Steely! I'm dying clean too!
Just so ya guys know.....reading that sticky was just a suggestion, not required reading lol.

Steely

Sometimes (very occasionally) I imagine my funeral with the mourners (if I had any left) would all be muttering, "if not for the grog, we tried to tell her." "Real nice girl if it weren't for..........." It is too horrible to contemplate. Sober Rules.

kzaug2014

Lol...well now you will be leaving an entirely different legacy & people will say "real nice girl and so strong too, giving up the grog!"

Steely

Thanks Kzaug. It's such a relief to know that I do not have to drink. All of that anticipatory thinking, the aftermath, the resumption, removed. Sigh. Don't see too many people posting after a lapse saying that it was a really great experience.

Soberwolf

Backey that is some fine work I looked at that and thought workmanship

Excellent honestly

Steely you are amazing

Blacky

Thanks ..
I have done places all around this house a couple other corners were even worse, heck I will have rebuilt the house here soon ,, ha ha ..

.. Well time to get back to it .. Have a good day folks ..

Astro

Now that's an awesome post, loved reading those words! I often share that alcohol robbed me of any desire to attend college, be a musician, etc. Today my guitar sits unused, that time has passed. but it's a beautiful day and I have a love for so many other things that I don't have time for them all.

Blacky- You do some amazing work there!

patricia68

I'm still here. Still fighting anxiety.
I haven't had alcohol in a week. Alcohol AV is quiet.
I am tapering Ativan again. Trying to stay at 0.125 a day. Ativan AV is sending me these terrifying thoughts all day. What ifs and worse case scenarios that I can only deal with more Ativan. I know it's just the AV talking but I am struggling big time.
Life is very stressful right now, and dealing with it and tapering at the same time is confusing...what are real problems and what is AV trying to convince me that I need more benzos...

Winslow

Hey all,wonderful to hear from you Patricia😊 to me,I think there's a difference between being dependant on benzos than addicted to alcohol,we drink to get drunk and try and chase that euphoria, the benzos were prescribed for anxiety,not for getting high,my addiction counselor explained it better than I can,I have horrible anxiety today,hubs and I got in a fight last night cuz I swear he's having a midlife crisis or something, so I was shaky, headachy,nauseated, heart racing all night and this morning, thought of taking my whole dose but no,there's always gonna be anxious times to get through,grrrr,little grandson was doing deep breathing with me last night, putting his arms above his head like me,so cute! Everyone sounds good😊

Steely

Thanks Soberwolf you'll make me shy and I'll go all weird. haha
Hi Astro and Patricia. A beautiful day is lined up here in Sydney and am going to visit my brother. Maybe try not fighting the anxiety Patricia , let it be.

Steely

Hi Winslow.