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I'm living Benzo free Part 2

Old 02-28-2016, 03:38 PM
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I was unmotivated today as well. I did a few hours work anyway before I came home and took a nap. .. meh .. be back at it tomorrow.

Hope everyone is doing well and thanks for the positive comments.
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Old 02-28-2016, 03:53 PM
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Hahahaha! I wondered why you guys would be having a Skyzone party for grampa! Don't think the elderly would be into it much😊 Steely,I just posted about the Sunday blues on another thread,think we all get it sometimes
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Old 02-28-2016, 04:59 PM
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Thanks for the back-up my friends. Sometimes I just don't see the point. I see the point about not drinking/drugging but wonder sometimes what's it all about Alfie. I think I need to make friends or do some short course in something to give my life some meaning. The human dilemma I suppose. Early days. Very funny image of your grandpa on the tramp. kzaug. Thanks Winslow for the Sunday Blues but it's Monday here in Australia. Monday melancholia.
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Old 02-28-2016, 06:02 PM
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I had a bit of the blues today too. I don't think when you're clinically depressed, that it ever leaves you 100% of the time....no matter how much clean/sober time you have under your belt. But I do know that my bouts of depression are less severe now and are few and far between.
I think finding extracurricular activities are pretty important to one's happiness. I googled it and found 100's of suggestions online.
Ttyguys tomorrow! (( Hugs ))
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Old 02-28-2016, 09:33 PM
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Thanks kzaug I'm going to research stuff to do as just can't sit around being sober. I don't think I've got the black dog depression but certainly the blues as you say and when I think about it normal now that I've stopped drinking. It's a bit of a revelation, hey? Eek what have I done with my miserable life! No way 'round it but through it so will start to check stuff out now to find some little niche that interests me. Might grow a veggie garden. Hope your blues have shifted. Best wishes to everyone.
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:49 AM
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Hugs to all
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Winslow View Post
Astro,I hate starting a project all gung-ho then losing my mojo half way,I'm like that with cleaning and organizing cabinets/closets too
Uh yeah that happened yesterday. After 4 hours of sanding and only being maybe 1/4 of the way through, I'm ready to burn the thing and buy a new table But, I'm committed to finishing the project now.
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Old 02-29-2016, 05:15 AM
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.. Sanding .. that is on my agenda today, I will be using an orbital hand held power model hooked to a shop vac though. So it won't be bad.
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:20 AM
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Hey all,sounds like everyone had a decent weekend😊 my job is starting to make me really uneasy,I work in a hair salon that does $8 dollar haircuts so you can imagine the riff Raff we attract,not everyone is yucky but we get our share,plus its in a bad neighborhood about 4 blocks from the strip,lots of homeless,tweakers, hustlers,just junk,anyways it seems like there's some sort of drama everyday,mean customers or drunks at 9 am,its wearing me thin😡 I can't switch shops so don't suggest it,I make really good money despite the trash,I can't make it anywhere else, just venting cuz this past week was particularly rough,hope everyone has a rockin Monday😊
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:02 PM
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Oh Winslow a shave and a haircut. I watched a programme on Las Vegas last night and saw the people living in the flood tunnels under the strip. How awful. How sad.
I take my hat off for surviving it no wonder you are feeling uneasy. Do you have a support network available? Dont burn your table Astro keep with the project as you say. I've got to start sanding mine too but only have sand paper. Heavy gauge to start. It's only small so should be fun. It's what they (whoever 'they' are) call "depression" furniture ie furniture made during the Depression out of any old plank of wood or fruit box available at the time. I really like it and hope I do a good job. Blacky you've inadvertently started carpenters anonymous. Thanks.
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:46 PM
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Hi guys,
Steely, I lived w/that black, utterly empty depression for more than half my life. I tried to kill myself when I was 18 & nearly succeeded. I took 500 of my mom's prescription pills & woke up 3-4 days later, hallucinating like crazy...it was horrible. I was on life support for the 1st few days & the doctors told my family I wasn't going to make it, so they called our minister for last rites. But, they found a specialist who was aeromeded to me and he saved my life. Apparently, I had aspirated my own vomit into my lungs & was basically drowning. Dr. Thomas...couldn't tell ya what he looked like or anything, but I've always remembered his name. God has saved my life twice and this was the 1st time.

Onto a cheerier note...I woke up bluesy today too lol. I always try to look at the bright side of situations, so I told myself "at least, I haven't had that dark depression for 11yrs now, I have a roof over my head ( I've been homeless before, so this is a biggy in my book ) food to eat, my health, etc. It usually works to tell myself to stop feeling sorry for myself.

Winslow and Astro, I definitely struggle w/finishing projects I start, but I'm slowly beginning to improve in this area. I still hate sanding though lol.
It must really suck to work in a highly stressful atmosphere, Wislow. But, ya still havta pay those bills. I really think that you should consider a job change in the future hun. I took your advice & am having a rocking Monday, presently listening to Pantera!

Blacky, I'm waiting on your newest home improvement pics.

Wolfie, (( hugs )) to you too & to everyone else!
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:58 PM
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I love old furniture Steely. I have 6 different Victorian dining chairs w/burgandy floral needlepoint seats. I also love those chip carved tramp art frames & boxes. The hobos used to make them & trade them for food & shelter during the depression. They can be quite pricey, so now my hubs carves them for me.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:11 PM
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Thanks for reminding me to count my blessings kzaug. I have very little money but do have a roof, food to eat and a bed to throw my bones. I once 'accidently' swallowed a stack of methadone hydrochloride tablets and was crawling around my flat for 3 days in a heap of **** and until a friend turned up and took me to hospital as I live alone. I'd never taken methadone before and can remember two doctors at the end of my bed saying I shouldn't be breathing. Like you I was hallucinating like crazy. Thank goodness all that is behind me and I can breathe easy in sobriety. I love it so much. Where was my head back then? Disturbed child. How you going Soberwolf? Furniture restoration beats self destruction by a long shot. Thanks for being there you guys. We will remain on a happy note and thank goodness for Dr. Thomas.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:12 PM
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Don't know why I'm spilling all these beans is it too negative? It's in the past now.
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Old 02-29-2016, 04:37 PM
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The Federal Government killed my printer ..

.. yep .. made it to page 31 of my 42 page tax returns before the trouble ..

I e-filed so it was just to try and have a paper copy. I used turbo tax which was fairly easy. No way I could have figured all of it out myself, in fact looking over all the forms it is

incomprehensible ..

add lines 1, 4 and 5b, minus line 7 if box c is checked, or multiply by 4.023 if d and divide by -4. if you lived in another state in August and -3.02 if you have a slate roof on your house ..

No current pics as of yet on my job, I do have a good before and after for ya though .. this is a farm house I renovated ..

.. drinking ..


.. sober ..
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:34 PM
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Wow, that's beautiful Blacky. What a pretty house out of dereliction. That's my aim out of sobriety.
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Old 02-29-2016, 08:26 PM
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Blacky, that is beautiful!!!

Glad to have stumbled upon this thread. In addition to being alcohol-free, I feel like I should double-up my efforts and commit to staying benzo-free. I have a left-over bottle with several Xanax that look attractive but I know it's just oblivion in pill form and doesn't help in the long run.
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Old 02-29-2016, 08:30 PM
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Holy cow Blacky! That's freaking incredible!
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Old 02-29-2016, 08:41 PM
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Welcome aboard Melki! We're glad to have you!
Have you been taking xanax on a regular basis?
I fried my brain on klonopin for 10yrs. I say "fried" because I literally thought I was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. It took about a yr., but I eventually got my memory back.
Congrats on getting sober! How long has it been?
(( Hugs ))
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Old 02-29-2016, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Steely View Post
Don't know why I'm spilling all these beans is it too negative? It's in the past now.
Because spilling the beans is good for the soul & helps to come to terms w/all the crapola. Too negative? Naw! Not if you don't dwell on it hun. (( Hugs ))
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