Diary of a Mad Cow, Part V: "Rise of Sober Cow" –everybody run!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Unfortunately our dear Cow does not tolerate sugar.
I hope you're having a pleasant Sunday. I'm back on the hamster wheel this evening as I leave for ten days of work. Shouldnt be too bad. I have a busy summer schedule tying up my year.
I don't always have decent Internet connection while traveling but I will try to check in when I can.
So, you all behave and play nice.
Love from lenina
I hope you're having a pleasant Sunday. I'm back on the hamster wheel this evening as I leave for ten days of work. Shouldnt be too bad. I have a busy summer schedule tying up my year.
I don't always have decent Internet connection while traveling but I will try to check in when I can.
So, you all behave and play nice.
Love from lenina
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Foul Cow in full effect last couple day. PTSD nightmares is terrible. Always they come back after time without drug and alcohols. And without caffeine mood get very sour. VERY. Thoughts in my head is sociopathic schadenfraude, disdain and resentment. Is best to stay lock away from other. I not post too much during this times cuz is not point to say vile things in my head. I know is all just angry brain and not "real" me, whoever me might be. I just gonna continue on and hope is something on other side.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 306
[QUOTE=Cow;4793167]Foul Cow in full effect last couple day. PTSD nightmares is terrible. Always they come back after time without drug and alcohols. And without caffeine mood get very sour. VERY. Thoughts in my head is sociopathic schadenfraude, disdain and resentment. Is best to stay lock away from other. I not post too much during this times cuz is not point to say vile things in my head. I know is all just angry brain and not "real" me, whoever me might be. I just gonna continue on and hope is something on other side.[/QUOTE
Hang in there, C.
Hang in there, C.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Rant Alert! -- "Why my friend is stupid idiot!"
After I tell good friend (who not alcoholic) that I dealing with severe mood difficulties right now related to getting sober, she write back how she total understand, cuz she going out of town to visit family this week and her brothers is gonna bring ton of very expensive wines and there no possible way she not gonna enjoys all these delicious expensive wines and she gonna come back 5 pound heavier, when really, she is wanting to lose 5 pound.
... ... ...
YES, YOU TOTAL INAPPROPRIATE AND ASININE STORY CLEARLY INDICATE YOU DEEP AND THOROUGH UNDERSTANDINGS OF MY PLIGHT.
After I tell good friend (who not alcoholic) that I dealing with severe mood difficulties right now related to getting sober, she write back how she total understand, cuz she going out of town to visit family this week and her brothers is gonna bring ton of very expensive wines and there no possible way she not gonna enjoys all these delicious expensive wines and she gonna come back 5 pound heavier, when really, she is wanting to lose 5 pound.
... ... ...
YES, YOU TOTAL INAPPROPRIATE AND ASININE STORY CLEARLY INDICATE YOU DEEP AND THOROUGH UNDERSTANDINGS OF MY PLIGHT.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Had the same thing happen at work 3 weeks ago. 3 of us in small biz. office. Boss going to India for 3 weeks this day. Other guy (his flunky, also Indian) brings in 2 bottles of Johnny Black for boss to take with him and shows 'em to me, thinking nothing of it (yeah, I love scotch, rocks - at least it wasn't Glen Livet, lol). Both know I'm recovering. Sat on bosses desk all day right behind me. DUMB ASSES!, LOL.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Cow 
I remembers Louise Hay: "If you left toe hurt it mean you holding resentment toward you 6th grade teacher in past life."
I gonna stick with "The Secret," where I just has to sit on my asses and use law of attraction to bring perfect recovery and health to me like supernatural UPS delivery.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Rant Alert! -- "Is like my neighbor want me to punch her out!"
Neighbor and ersatz mother figure forces me to go to show with her last night. Cuz is her 85 birthday. I not wanna go, cuz, 1) I not give crap about anybody birthday including my own, and 2) I not feel like shower let alone get made up for event. But, for her, I acquiesces.
As I expect, event thoroughly SUCK, but I sit there with fake smile plaster on my face and lies and say was great time and happy birthday to you. But today, she total pressing me, "So what you really think of show? Oh come on, you always has elaborate critique of everything? I know you has something to say?" So I says, "Well, I does think maybe performers was pandering to audience too much." And she like "...well that very cynical!" And I like, "Maggie, you know I a cynic." And she like, "Well I feels sorry for you. That a very sad way to live!"
... ... ...
SERIOUSLY? WHAT IS YOU GAME, OLD LADY?
Neighbor and ersatz mother figure forces me to go to show with her last night. Cuz is her 85 birthday. I not wanna go, cuz, 1) I not give crap about anybody birthday including my own, and 2) I not feel like shower let alone get made up for event. But, for her, I acquiesces.
As I expect, event thoroughly SUCK, but I sit there with fake smile plaster on my face and lies and say was great time and happy birthday to you. But today, she total pressing me, "So what you really think of show? Oh come on, you always has elaborate critique of everything? I know you has something to say?" So I says, "Well, I does think maybe performers was pandering to audience too much." And she like "...well that very cynical!" And I like, "Maggie, you know I a cynic." And she like, "Well I feels sorry for you. That a very sad way to live!"
... ... ...
SERIOUSLY? WHAT IS YOU GAME, OLD LADY?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
annoying, Cow.
more than!
your friend can't help being an idiot about not understanding your plight, but could possibly be kindly encouraged or fiercely ass-kicked to keep her non-understanding to herself. the people i know who do what she did actually think they're HELPful, empathising.
lots of people out there who respond by immediately going to themselves: "yeah, that's just like me and that time when...yeah, your broken neck is just like when i twisted my ankle there and..."
like i'm doing right now: trying to tell you they/we understand
more than!
your friend can't help being an idiot about not understanding your plight, but could possibly be kindly encouraged or fiercely ass-kicked to keep her non-understanding to herself. the people i know who do what she did actually think they're HELPful, empathising.
lots of people out there who respond by immediately going to themselves: "yeah, that's just like me and that time when...yeah, your broken neck is just like when i twisted my ankle there and..."
like i'm doing right now: trying to tell you they/we understand
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
I think it would be fun to get to know others here through the concrete details as well as the deep thoughts and humor everyone shares so freely -- deep thoughts come harder and harder for me, but I can always count lipsticks! How many do you have?
courage: YES to dog, car, tons of books and shelves to put them on. comfy couch to sit on while reading them. the books, not the shelves. food in the fridge. some chocolate in the cupboard. next to yummy teas. organic fair trade.
NO to toaster, hairdryer, tv, laptop, cellphone, kindle, new clothes, microwave.
don't need it, don't want it, don't think about it.
last time i had a lipstick was probably around 1980.
but could choose to list a whole bunch of other things and you'd get an entirely different picture.
courage: YES to dog, car, tons of books and shelves to put them on. comfy couch to sit on while reading them. the books, not the shelves. food in the fridge. some chocolate in the cupboard. next to yummy teas. organic fair trade.
NO to toaster, hairdryer, tv, laptop, cellphone, kindle, new clothes, microwave.
don't need it, don't want it, don't think about it.
last time i had a lipstick was probably around 1980.
but could choose to list a whole bunch of other things and you'd get an entirely different picture.
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
I forget to answer Snarkbunny too: Only 1 book, very old copy of "Alice in Wonderland." No memorabilia. Fridge empty. Not mean I eat out, never eat out. With all my sensitivities, I can only eat meat plus veg, which in freezer. Total hate Smartphone culture. Hate. HATE! My phone still old flip that only is phone, it not even text. All my friend and colleague hate me for this. But I planning to die without ever has text. Never buy new clothes. Sometime clothes is given to me. But always I go to thrift shop for cool old coats and otherwise live in sweats. Not blow dry hair, not do anything to hair. Why human spend so much time f*cking around with they hair and faces and textiles is total denatured freak show to me and I wish no part of this. This make me more undesirable professionally but unless is major shift, I not see how it reconcilable. I does have artworks of painting and sculpture, but also has many tree stumps and boulders and botanticals in loft,cuz all of these is equal art to me. Want dog, but not can not have dog now because fear I not stable enough to proper care for dog.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,049
Originally Posted by Cow
My phone still old flip that only is phone, it not even text. All my friend and colleague hate me for this. But I planning to die without ever has text.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by Cow
I forget to answer Snarkbunny too: Only 1 book, very old copy of "Alice in Wonderland." No memorabilia. Fridge empty. Not mean I eat out, never eat out. With all my sensitivities, I can only eat meat plus veg, which in freezer. Total hate Smartphone culture. Hate. HATE! My phone still old flip that only is phone, it not even text. All my friend and colleague hate me for this. But I planning to die without ever has text. Never buy new clothes. Sometime clothes is given to me. But always I go to thrift shop for cool old coats and otherwise live in sweats. Not blow dry hair, not do anything to hair. Why human spend so much time f*cking around with they hair and faces and textiles is total denatured freak show to me and I wish no part of this. This make me more undesirable professionally but unless is major shift, I not see how it reconcilable. I does have artworks of painting and sculpture, but also has many tree stumps and boulders and botanticals in loft,cuz all of these is equal art to me. Want dog, but not can not have dog now because fear I not stable enough to proper care for dog.
FWIW, when you feel ready...........you should get a dog if you want one. My animals have added so much to my life. To say they keep me going is an understatement. Many a day I forced myself to walk through my sh*t life just because they depend on me.
So much better than humans.......but as Cow, you already know that!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
My dogs kept me going Cow . At times they were the only ones who gave a **** when i was at my lowest ebb.No raising of the eyes when i entered the room . They welcomed me with their non judgemental waggily tails .
Always happy to see me even through my melancholy , cranky, angry , sad , belligerent rants.
Always on my side and still here today .
I would have left me years ago !
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,436
I've never texted either and don't want to.
Dog would be an excellent idea--even a game-changer, when you are ready.
Mine are the only beings I actually trust in the world.
First "people" I see in the morning, last ones I touch at night.
Husband is jealous, but I don't care. To be fair, he adores them too.
400 pounds of doggie-love and quiet, supportive company.
( I have three super-sized) to go to the woods with, or read books with,
or type on SR with, or roll in the grass with, or cuddle up for tummy rubs with,
or share my homemade pizza with, and so on.
2 are Labrador / German Shepard mixed breeds I found under an old log cabin on our farm as part of a litter of 10. Found homes for the rest.
Their brother Fergus just died about three months ago, and I was able to be sober and present for him as he went.
I didn't choose to drink before, during, or after which isn't my usual crisis response, so I got a life lesson for his last gift.
One of them was dumped by someone twelve years ago and came running towards the car and my husband did
a stunt driver 360 to avoid hitting him. Picked him up, got back in the car, and puppy
curled up on his lap with a big sigh and went to sleep.
That's Grindel the Brindle. 130 pounds of pure love and constant hunger.
He didn't get fed much before we found him so he's like a Hungry Ghost when it comes to food. Reminds me of me and emotions.
What sort / size of dog do you think you'd like Cow?
Dog would be an excellent idea--even a game-changer, when you are ready.
Mine are the only beings I actually trust in the world.
First "people" I see in the morning, last ones I touch at night.
Husband is jealous, but I don't care. To be fair, he adores them too.
400 pounds of doggie-love and quiet, supportive company.
( I have three super-sized) to go to the woods with, or read books with,
or type on SR with, or roll in the grass with, or cuddle up for tummy rubs with,
or share my homemade pizza with, and so on.
2 are Labrador / German Shepard mixed breeds I found under an old log cabin on our farm as part of a litter of 10. Found homes for the rest.
Their brother Fergus just died about three months ago, and I was able to be sober and present for him as he went.
I didn't choose to drink before, during, or after which isn't my usual crisis response, so I got a life lesson for his last gift.
One of them was dumped by someone twelve years ago and came running towards the car and my husband did
a stunt driver 360 to avoid hitting him. Picked him up, got back in the car, and puppy
curled up on his lap with a big sigh and went to sleep.
That's Grindel the Brindle. 130 pounds of pure love and constant hunger.
He didn't get fed much before we found him so he's like a Hungry Ghost when it comes to food. Reminds me of me and emotions.
What sort / size of dog do you think you'd like Cow?
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