Diary of a Mad Cow, Part V: "Rise of Sober Cow" –everybody run!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 306
I think many of us can relate to these feelings, Cow. Especially those of us who "checked out" early in life. I always felt defective......the one that should have been thrown back! I think early childhood trauma has such force.... I felt like a bomb site at 8 years old. Just wreckage, wreckage, wreckage.
Maybe now we just have to form ourselves......start over on the life that is ahead?
Maybe now we just have to form ourselves......start over on the life that is ahead?
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Boudicca, yes, is like now, as aging adult, after so much trauma, and with f*ck up brain, and, for me, with so much time spent just kind of being detach consciousness floating in space, with little connection to material world, we somehow has to voluntary give our very survival mechanisms and ethereal existences and start to form our selfs into real persons.
Well, I got nothing to go on. No role model, no parent figure, no family, no memory of ever be healthy or normal. So I guess I winging it. Who with me?! Maybe we help each other.
SJ, I know my creativity gonna suffer. Brain is suffering and angry cuz is very very old rug been pull out from under. It all
so this to be expected. It maybe not permanent, but I has to be prepare and accepting, otherwise, I vulnerable to turning back.
PS. You was 500th post so I think SR give you car or something. See D for detail.
Well, I got nothing to go on. No role model, no parent figure, no family, no memory of ever be healthy or normal. So I guess I winging it. Who with me?! Maybe we help each other.
SJ, I know my creativity gonna suffer. Brain is suffering and angry cuz is very very old rug been pull out from under. It all
so this to be expected. It maybe not permanent, but I has to be prepare and accepting, otherwise, I vulnerable to turning back.PS. You was 500th post so I think SR give you car or something. See D for detail.
:Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Sorry SJ, so close!
Boudicca, I very much hope you will tell us more about you wreckage, wreckage, wreckage. And I put all 3 wreckages in there cuz lot of us has live all 3. Maybe if we all bring out our little shatter pieces of wreckage together, it will make mosaic that help us all cope, and plus also make nice crafty table top or something.
Boudicca, I very much hope you will tell us more about you wreckage, wreckage, wreckage. And I put all 3 wreckages in there cuz lot of us has live all 3. Maybe if we all bring out our little shatter pieces of wreckage together, it will make mosaic that help us all cope, and plus also make nice crafty table top or something.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Cow, you say it is real possibility that your anhedonia get worse with sobriety??? Come now spotted cow. Alcohol is a depressant, and you are a cow more sensitive than most. I'd say a real possibility that you drop the booze and the anhedonia would go with it.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Sorry to say kitty, the anhedonia isn't going away with or without sobriety either way. In many ways sobriety unmasks the rawness of Cow's dilemma. Active addiction at least provided a relief of sorts albeit a useless and personally costly distraction.
I admire the toughness and yet at the same time the complete vulnerability of the surreal experiences sobriety does and yet doesn't bring to Cow's awesome journey.
I admire the toughness and yet at the same time the complete vulnerability of the surreal experiences sobriety does and yet doesn't bring to Cow's awesome journey.
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