stone

Yes, that is how it stands, thanks Gypsy
Earlybird, I understand where you are coming from and for me to say 'I am still bingeing' was wrong, I had been drinking a small amount every 3 days until last Friday and Saturday when I did go overboard.
I have been sober the last 2 days and I wont be drinking today.
I must admit, I have lost my optimistic feeling and feel like crap since I binged, my mums dad died over the weekend so I have to get it together and stay sober so as I can help her with the funeral etc.

Mongo

Stonerat, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so hard.

I must say that I think you have a good handle on your plans for quitting and are taking steps to deal with it. Coming to grips with your own feelings and self awareness is a great first stage.

I wish you the best

Ron

stone

Thanks Ron, it is hard to wait for detox but I am not giving up giving up, I will do it.
BTW, it is my mum's dad (my grandad) who died, so she needs me sober to help her over the next few days.

Tazman53

Stonerat my condolances on your lose.

Just a little tidbit of info you may be able to use as a means of walking through some doors into the healing rooms of AA.

The only requirment for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking! I went to my very first meeting drunk on my ass and was welcome, it took me about 4 or 5 years to go back, but I knew I was welcome sober or drunk!

I watched one guy come into the rooms for several weeks drunk on his can, then all of a sudden he showed up clean shaven, clear eyed, and neatly dressed..... YES HE WAS SOBER!!!!!! The guy who showed up so drunk I could hardly understand him when he spoke was there grinning from ear to ear and sober!

He was welcome in the rooms drunk because we are alcoholics, we have been there and done that, we know what it is like to want to quit so bad, but can't! We are there for the alcoholic, sober or drunk.

AA saved my life and it can save yours to.

gypsytears

Please accept my condolences stonerat . I know you'll be there for your mother... but do take care of yourself as well.

stone

Thanks Gypsy, I will be OK

Hi Taz, I am prevaricating over going to AA I know. I still plan on going though.

Tazman53

stonerat AA is not the only answer, there are other programs out there that work, but none of them will work if you do not work them.

I push AA because it saved my life, can be found world wide and it has a good track record, but only if you work it.

stone

Some news on the clinic front, they have sent me letter and I have to phone for an appointment, they warn there is a waiting list. I am phoning them today.

I am feeling better after the binge now, though still very tired.
The last 3 days I have been sober and I wont be drinking today either.
My mum is doing OK with respect to her dad etc and I have been able to support her and go with her to the funeral directors and stuff. The funeral is on tuesday.

gypsytears

Thinking of you today stonerat . What did you find out from the clinic... good news I hope.

Tazman53

stonerat i wish you all the best on all fronts right now.

CarolD

Mega Hugs stonerat

stone

Thanks Gypsy, Taz and Carol

I phoned yesterday and got no answer, I got through eventually toady to be told that they are shut this week and to phone monday. I said 'monday!?' shocked, so she took my details and said someone would phone today or tomorrow.

Oh well, I can wait as long as it takes... up to a point lol.
I need their help for the first few weeks as going cold turkey sends me into a depression I can't handle (which is exacerbated by insomnia) so I want some kind of medical help.

I am finding this thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ought-day.html
a real help lately.
I am ordering one of the books the quotes are taken from and also 'beyond the influence'.

gypsytears

Thanks for linking to that. I haven't ever read that particular thread before .

I hope the clinic gets back to soon. It's ironic...as I'm sitting here waiting for my counselor to call so I can discuss being discharged from my outpatient program and you can't get into yours.

paulmh

Hi SR, just wanted to let you know - still thinking of you! When I stopped drinking I was averaging thirty cans of Stella a day - sometimes more. Detoxing was unpleasant, but it wasn't as unpleasant as continuiing the way I was.

Well done on getting a few days under your belt!

stone

Hi Gypsy and Paul,
Paul! TY for your support man, Windsor Clinic... huh? If they can give me what I want then fine, if not then I will look around again.

stone

A new develpment, I have started cutting myself
Super duper duper

hope3

Hi Stonerat, thats to bad about your grandma, I'm glad you are able

to keep it together for your mum. I sure hope you get some answers

from the clinic real soon.....

My hope and prayers are wiyh you Stonerat....Hope3.

GlassPrisoner

Not good. But not uncommon.

I was a burner myself. So is a newcomer I've been bringing. Stupid stuff we do when we drink.....

God Bless, hoping for your recovery.

stone

Stupid stuff we do when we drink.....

The previous episode, I smashed a bottle over my head, last night I cut my arm with a scalpel repeatedly.

I had read of people doing this, but never thought I would.

************, now it's war!

GlassPrisoner

He He, I've fallem off of apatmeny roofs (hit my head), dove in shallow water (hit my head) and been bucked off of a snowmobile at 50+ (And, guess...jit my head !). I'm lucky I'm alive.

SR, I forget your stance on AA. Think you're willing to try yet ?