stevieg46

S ober.
P erson
O ffering .
N ewcomer
S upport .
O n
R ecovery ..

Regards .
Stevie .

paddyjnr1

I'll keep it short and sweet "NO" if I don't go to my meetings and keep in close contact, I've tried and tested.
Also keep on here, their are some people on SR.
I firmly believe ye guys helped me that night I tried to kill myself
The twelve steps talk about we all the time.
Our own minds will have us out there drinking in no time especially in early recovery also those of us who are around along time and know it all , who have become complacent need to be told by a good sponsor.. Hope this helps

paddyjnr1

Dead right words of wisdom

paddyjnr1

Sharing and practicing is are 2 different things, the way we behave outside the meetings are as much if not more important. I myself gave up meeting after 8 year , F**K the sponsor and the goodie goodies and it wasn't long before i began to into"the poor me"S . I had slashed my wrists and they sent the armed response to my door, one with an Ozzie and the other other with a stun gun.
They said drop the weapon, I said no shoot me, so the guy with the stun gun withdrew his tazer Gun and man get a belt off them and you'll no all about it.
I'm still trying to get back, my advice get a meeting , listen, take the cotton wool out of your ears and into your mouth.
Get Plenty of phone number and GET A SPONSOR

tomsteve

some people are quite sick and need lots of meetings and speaking to their sponsor often.
some traded alcohol addiction and dependancy for meeting and sponsor addiction and dependancy.
but the bb tells us this:
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

ive been sober a wee bit. havent been to a meeting in a few months. havent spoken to my sponsor in over a month. have a very good friend i talk to regularly on the phone and two awesome friends on here.
i am still recoveredd from the hopeless state of mind and body.

because of what is said on pg 84-85.
not the amount of meetings i go to. not because i speak to my sponsor.

jeni,

thank you for the smile this morning.

Mountainmanbob

It is nice to have an accountability brother or sister.
Whether they be a sponsor or friend or ?

M-Bob

ALinNS

I have met many in meetings that have done it, I quite often ask if there was someone they were accountable to, some themselves others someone close to them. So I think some can, what is important to me is to do whatever it takes to get through this recovery so for now, yes I have a sponsor. Our meetings do not always center around working the steps as I am using other tools and resources that have nothing to do with AA and things come up that I believe or am seeing work.

skg

If I had been able to get and stay sober without some guidance I wouldn't be posting my experience, strength and hope on message boards for others to use-or not.
My insane thinking prior so coming in centered around fabulous ideas on doing the same thing expecting different results. It took another person's perspective to help me see the application of spiritual principles.
"We" is a daunting proposition for a person that thinks they are self-sufficient. There is more to sobriety than simply not drinking.
I do take exception to the comment about a woman drinking after her husband's death as a result. Reliance on a relationship with God is a critical component for a spiritual walk that works in all weathers... How one applies it is more important than whether or not they sponsor others...

fini

Jeni,

i've been thinking about this thread off and on all day.
your question was "do you think recovery is possible without a sponsor?"

and you got responses.
some of us responded to the question as asked (is it possible?), while other responses seemed to answer "is it okay" or "is it advisable" or "what should i do...should i find a new one???"

i've always liked the approqach of checking my motives, and being really honest with myself about that.
so i'd recommend that.
you're feeling lost.
you don't like meetings.
you're unlikely to meet another possible sponsor without going to more meetings.
you're possibly or probably also unlikely to meet others that you would be a sponsor to if you drop off your meeting attendance and aren't engaged actively.

i don't intend this as a scare-thing, and i'm not one who believes that not having a sponsor or not going to meetings or not "doing" AA leads to relapse.
however: i have, in my several years of forums, noticed that one common thing people remark on after coming back from a relapse is that they let go of the very things that got them to a point of feeling confident and functioning well and, well, healthy and fairly content.
it seems like most of us understand that , for example, going to the gym and eating in a healthy way we can get to a place of strength and well-being and we know that we need maintenance to keep being at that well-functioning level.
it's simplistic, of course, to compare that straight across with what we're talking about in this thread, but there are similarities.
so i just want to suggest that you check your motives and aren't letting go of/leaving a bunch of the stuff that got "so much better" in the first place without being clear on why you're doing it.

Ken33xx

What you experienced was without a doubt a huge loss. And I certainly wouldn`t compare my financial meltdown (2006-2009) with the death of a loved one. However, I didn`t drink and wasn`t sponsoring anyone either nor did I have a sponsor.

But what I did have was someone (outside of AA) to talk about what was going on in addition by attending meetings I was reminded my problems although real were of a quality nature. I was only in this position become I had gotten sober.

It was a difficult few years for me but that`s life. Stay sober long enough and unpleasant events happen. The question then becomes how will you handle them?

Imo, it all comes down to how much you appreciate your sobriety. If you need to get out of your head spend time with a newcomer. And why would that work? Because it often helps put what going on in your life in perspective.

Here`s a good example of what I mean: For a short period of time years ago one of my eyes became cloudy with blood. Please believe other worries quickly moved to second place. Helping a newcomer (listening/sponsorship) often puts whatever hardship you face in a better light.

Because without sobriety what do we really have?

Jeni26

Thank you all very much, you have helped me so much.

I have to say, I've been through the steps 3 times with 2 different sponsors, I sponsor someone, I live in the steps every day, I know what I should be doing and I'm not a newbie who will relapse without having someone to phone every day. I never had that relationship anyway with my sponsor, my sobriety wasn't and isn't dependent on her or anyone.

I have this year added AlAnon to my recovery tools. My H drinks and through attending meetings I've learned how to live with this much easier. There is a lady I met there, and she and I exchange texts every so often. She has that air of easy and quiet serenity about her I admire so much.

I'm going to make a point of going far more regularly than I have been, and I may ask this lady if she would be willing to take me through the 12 steps of AlAnon. I recognise I have issues with codependency, and through seeing my sponsor relapse and then losing her support altogether, it has really brought it home for me how easily my world is rocked when one of my 'inner circle' disappears. Even if I'm not dependent on them, it feels like one of my foundation stones has crumbled. Well, time for me to re-build.

Everything happens for a reason, and nothing in God's world happens by mistake. I may not always understand the 'whys' right now, but I don't need to understand His plan, just trust there is one.

I'm going to become a regular attendee at AlAnon and am also starting a weekly meditation class too. That combined with my new ways I've found to exercise and eat properly will ensure I'm mentally in the right place to see opportunities for change when they appear.

I feel really quite excited to see what change lies ahead for me.

Music

Your post is evidence in itself that you need a sponsor Jen. You're telling us how well you are because of what you've been through, you don't like meetings and yet you sponsor people?? What do you tell someone who asks you why you don't have a sponsor? "Well, I know enough so I don't need any help except when working the 10th step?? C'mon Jen. The disease is telling you you're ok! The disease is playing on your pride and self confidence which is going to get you drunk....mark my words. I'm coming up on 39 years Jen and I have a sponsor; I've always had a sponsor. It's comforting knowing there's someone out there who'll drop everything and listen, or get together when I need it. Tell me what the difference is between the AA steps and the Al-anon steps. I'd strongly suggest you take a step back and honestly, I mean honestly take a look at the way you're thinking.

sugarbear1

I agree with Music. My sponsor meets with their sponsor once a week, so does my grandsponsor and their sponsor, etc.

When I sponsor myself, I okay my own bs and I end up getting drunk again (I've done this in my past!)

I have to keep my spirituality ahead of my dis-ease, or things can get ugly.

I wish you well!
Love and hugs,
SB

Andante

I submit that if anyone requires the constant and eternal oversight of a sponsor in order to prevent their veering off the spiritual rails and descending into drunkenness again, then there's a fundamental, fatal flaw in their recovery program that no sponsor can "fix."

The gift of sobriety the AA way is bestowed ultimately not by one's sponsor but by one's conscious contact with a Higher Power.

Beyond the laying out of the tools of the 12 Steps for inspection, the sponsor's role in establishing and maintaining anyone else's conscious contact with their HP is necessarily minimal, as it is (or ought to be, at least) an intensely personal journey.

I also submit that posts which attempt to "take someone’s inventory" and smack of arrogant fear-mongering do a disservice to the causes of humility, tolerance, and selflessness that are the essence of the AA program as I understand it.

biminiblue

I wish I could thank Andante's last post eleventy times.

awuh1

I basically agree with Andante. This journey is a spiritual one. We need to make choices and they need to be our own. The guidance for these choices should come from a power greater than ourselves.

What do you believe your higher power would like you to do?

tomsteve

the only time the word "disease is used in the bb is describing the spiritual disease stemming from resentment.

the disease of alcoholism tells me absolutely nothing.
unless im drinking.

Andante

If I may add to my comments just a bit…

Maybe my problem is with the word "sponsor." In an AA context, it can connote a sort of Master-Pupil, I-Know-All-And-You-Know-Nothing dynamic that I’m not sure is appropriate beyond the early days of sobering up, getting acquainted with AA, and working the Steps initially.

It seems to me entirely sensible to maintain peer-to-peer friendships with AA members who are strong in their recovery and whose guidance and suggestions on both spiritual and worldly matters may be useful when difficulties arise, as they inevitably do in any life.

However, the idea of having a sort of lifetime personal Yoda, a Jedi Master of Recovery to warn us and guide us and keep us safe from the evils of relapse, would seem to me to be unrealistic in the real world, although I could be wrong.

tomsteve

We cannot be sure. God will determine that,so you must remember your real reliance is ALWAYS upon Him.

Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.
See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us

Fly N Buy

Ya know this whole thread responded to by passionate people reminds me why I hear it's a simple program but we can complicate it so much.

Step one - the problem
Step two - the solution
Steps 3-12 the detailed instructions

Think I'll go watch another football game with really complicated rules!!
Peace