Originally Posted by
Jeni26 
I'm doing well this time around. I'm 9+ months sober and after a total wobble over Christmas I think I'm pretty much back on track now. Christmas sent me into a spin because it reminded me of my relapse a year ago when I was in a bad place struggling with grief over losing my Dad and lots of other losses combined. Fear got a grip of me, and made me question everything, but I didn't pick up. Looking back now, I don't think I was even close.
But I'm for the first time in years without a sponsor and I feel quite lost. I've spent time over these holidays going over my very first posts here on SR, and they bear little resemblance to the person I am now. I'm much more knowledgeable and accepting of things. I've moved forward and my knowledge of the steps and how to live my life is clear. I sponsor and try to get a balance.
I've got a long way to go, but I've come a long way too.
I don't like meetings, never have and I doubt I ever will, so I'm unlikely to find anyone else to sponsor me, although I made some progress towards a lady I met in AlAnon to take me through their steps. That is certainly something I'm open to as I live with an alcoholic partner and grew up in less than easy circumstances. But, to get honest, I've made my peace with that too.
Im just not at that desperate state I once was when I'm prepared to travel far and wide to seek another sponsor. I've been through the steps and if I've got someone I can share my step 10 stuff with, won't that be enough?
I care very much for your opinions my friends. Is long term recovery possible without a sponsor?
Your post is evidence in itself that you need a sponsor Jen. You're telling us how well you are because of what you've been through, you don't like meetings and yet you sponsor people?? What do you tell someone who asks you why you don't have a sponsor? "Well, I know enough so I don't need any help except when working the 10th step?? C'mon Jen. The disease is telling you you're ok! The disease is playing on your pride and self confidence which is going to get you drunk....mark my words. I'm coming up on 39 years Jen and I have a sponsor; I've always had a sponsor. It's comforting knowing there's someone out there who'll drop everything and listen, or get together when I need it. Tell me what the difference is between the AA steps and the Al-anon steps. I'd strongly suggest you take a step back and honestly, I mean honestly take a look at the way you're thinking.
