Originally Posted by
Jeni26 
I'm doing well this time around. I'm 9+ months sober and after a total wobble over Christmas I think I'm pretty much back on track now. Christmas sent me into a spin because it reminded me of my relapse a year ago when I was in a bad place struggling with grief over losing my Dad and lots of other losses combined. Fear got a grip of me, and made me question everything, but I didn't pick up. Looking back now, I don't think I was even close.
But I'm for the first time in years without a sponsor and I feel quite lost. I've spent time over these holidays going over my very first posts here on SR, and they bear little resemblance to the person I am now. I'm much more knowledgeable and accepting of things. I've moved forward and my knowledge of the steps and how to live my life is clear. I sponsor and try to get a balance.
I've got a long way to go, but I've come a long way too.
I don't like meetings, never have and I doubt I ever will, so I'm unlikely to find anyone else to sponsor me, although I made some progress towards a lady I met in AlAnon to take me through their steps. That is certainly something I'm open to as I live with an alcoholic partner and grew up in less than easy circumstances. But, to get honest, I've made my peace with that too.
Im just not at that desperate state I once was when I'm prepared to travel far and wide to seek another sponsor. I've been through the steps and if I've got someone I can share my step 10 stuff with, won't that be enough?
I care very much for your opinions my friends. Is long term recovery possible without a sponsor?
Sharing and practicing is are 2 different things, the way we behave outside the meetings are as much if not more important. I myself gave up meeting after 8 year , F**K the sponsor and the goodie goodies and it wasn't long before i began to into"the poor me"S . I had slashed my wrists and they sent the armed response to my door, one with an Ozzie and the other other with a stun gun.
They said drop the weapon, I said no shoot me, so the guy with the stun gun withdrew his tazer Gun and man get a belt off them and you'll no all about it.
I'm still trying to get back, my advice get a meeting , listen, take the cotton wool out of your ears and into your mouth.
Get Plenty of phone number and GET A SPONSOR
