Recovery without outside help....can it happen?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
Road to Recovery for lulamay
I hope I've got this right as I'm new to this site and don't consider myself particularly computer literate.
I went to AA on and off for 25 yrs, treating it like a revolving door, like loads of other people I did everything I could think of to beat my addiction. Nothing worked, cutting a long story short, when I eventually reached my,'rock bottom' sub consciously I did what it says in the,'Big Book',"Those who thoroughly follow our path. . .. " I don't know if, as would be usual with me,I'd been trying to hard, been to analytical, hung up on knowledge and theory all of which are typical of me or what, I just,'Let go and let God,'of my understanding that is. I was greatly assisted in my Christian beliefs, no problem with Step 2 and the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, all of which relate to suffering and its cessation. On the night I crawled to my bed, inebriated as usual, when I prayed I knew I was going deep dfown into my soul, like nothing I've ever done before and I felt almost a dull tug, as if something had been removed from me, the rest is what it is. I don't go to AA meetings anymore, you do not get sober sitting at meetings. I do try and make Spiritual progress without making a big song and dance about it, getting better is not easy, physically I'm okay mentally I progress but I have to take it easy otherwise I can go,'looping' off. Thank you for your interest, there's lots more , I'm glad I found this site,Michael.
I went to AA on and off for 25 yrs, treating it like a revolving door, like loads of other people I did everything I could think of to beat my addiction. Nothing worked, cutting a long story short, when I eventually reached my,'rock bottom' sub consciously I did what it says in the,'Big Book',"Those who thoroughly follow our path. . .. " I don't know if, as would be usual with me,I'd been trying to hard, been to analytical, hung up on knowledge and theory all of which are typical of me or what, I just,'Let go and let God,'of my understanding that is. I was greatly assisted in my Christian beliefs, no problem with Step 2 and the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, all of which relate to suffering and its cessation. On the night I crawled to my bed, inebriated as usual, when I prayed I knew I was going deep dfown into my soul, like nothing I've ever done before and I felt almost a dull tug, as if something had been removed from me, the rest is what it is. I don't go to AA meetings anymore, you do not get sober sitting at meetings. I do try and make Spiritual progress without making a big song and dance about it, getting better is not easy, physically I'm okay mentally I progress but I have to take it easy otherwise I can go,'looping' off. Thank you for your interest, there's lots more , I'm glad I found this site,Michael.
Thx2HP
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Alameda, CA
Posts: 16
Abstinence and Recovery are two very different things
"Quitting and staying quit" are also quite different. Yes, anyone can "quit" using (whatever your substance of choice is) without a program. But can they stay clean/sober forever without a program? Can their underlying personality traits change for the better without working the Steps? These are quite another thing.
In my opinion, if someone is truly an addict (or alcoholic, if you will), then sooner or later they will use again. And even if they are able to white knuckle it and stay abstinent, they most likely will not change their underlying beliefs, attitudes, traits simply by putting down the substance.
I see too many people sitting in meetings who don't have a sponsor, have never worked the steps, don't do service, etc. Yes, they may have years clean, but they are still self-centered, fear-based, etc., and that doesn't begin to change without help from a loving Higher Power, the guidance of others in recovery and working the Steps.
So my question to him would be why is he so resistent to the idea of going to AA or NA? How many more times are you going to go back to him without him being willing to try something different? Have you tried going to Alanon to look at your issues around him? I know that for me, I could probably stay clean for awhile---maybe even quite awhile---if I stopped going to meetings (I've been clean for 15 years), but my attitude would start to suck in just a few weeks. It wouldn't take long before I became the same person I was, just without the drugs. And that would be so painful, that I'd go back to using to numb the pain. I'd much rather stay in NA, keep working my Steps and continue to evolve into the person my Higher Power wants me to be!
In my opinion, if someone is truly an addict (or alcoholic, if you will), then sooner or later they will use again. And even if they are able to white knuckle it and stay abstinent, they most likely will not change their underlying beliefs, attitudes, traits simply by putting down the substance.
I see too many people sitting in meetings who don't have a sponsor, have never worked the steps, don't do service, etc. Yes, they may have years clean, but they are still self-centered, fear-based, etc., and that doesn't begin to change without help from a loving Higher Power, the guidance of others in recovery and working the Steps.
So my question to him would be why is he so resistent to the idea of going to AA or NA? How many more times are you going to go back to him without him being willing to try something different? Have you tried going to Alanon to look at your issues around him? I know that for me, I could probably stay clean for awhile---maybe even quite awhile---if I stopped going to meetings (I've been clean for 15 years), but my attitude would start to suck in just a few weeks. It wouldn't take long before I became the same person I was, just without the drugs. And that would be so painful, that I'd go back to using to numb the pain. I'd much rather stay in NA, keep working my Steps and continue to evolve into the person my Higher Power wants me to be!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern Colorado
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Thx2HP 
"Quitting and staying quit" are also quite different. Yes, anyone can "quit" using (whatever your substance of choice is) without a program. But can they stay clean/sober forever without a program? Can their underlying personality traits change for the better without working the Steps? These are quite another thing.
In my opinion, if someone is truly an addict (or alcoholic, if you will), then sooner or later they will use again. And even if they are able to white knuckle it and stay abstinent, they most likely will not change their underlying beliefs, attitudes, traits simply by putting down the substance.
I see too many people sitting in meetings who don't have a sponsor, have never worked the steps, don't do service, etc. Yes, they may have years clean, but they are still self-centered, fear-based, etc., and that doesn't begin to change without help from a loving Higher Power, the guidance of others in recovery and working the Steps.
So my question to him would be why is he so resistent to the idea of going to AA or NA? How many more times are you going to go back to him without him being willing to try something different? Have you tried going to Alanon to look at your issues around him? I know that for me, I could probably stay clean for awhile---maybe even quite awhile---if I stopped going to meetings (I've been clean for 15 years), but my attitude would start to suck in just a few weeks. It wouldn't take long before I became the same person I was, just without the drugs. And that would be so painful, that I'd go back to using to numb the pain. I'd much rather stay in NA, keep working my Steps and continue to evolve into the person my Higher Power wants me to be!
In my opinion, if someone is truly an addict (or alcoholic, if you will), then sooner or later they will use again. And even if they are able to white knuckle it and stay abstinent, they most likely will not change their underlying beliefs, attitudes, traits simply by putting down the substance.
I see too many people sitting in meetings who don't have a sponsor, have never worked the steps, don't do service, etc. Yes, they may have years clean, but they are still self-centered, fear-based, etc., and that doesn't begin to change without help from a loving Higher Power, the guidance of others in recovery and working the Steps.
So my question to him would be why is he so resistent to the idea of going to AA or NA? How many more times are you going to go back to him without him being willing to try something different? Have you tried going to Alanon to look at your issues around him? I know that for me, I could probably stay clean for awhile---maybe even quite awhile---if I stopped going to meetings (I've been clean for 15 years), but my attitude would start to suck in just a few weeks. It wouldn't take long before I became the same person I was, just without the drugs. And that would be so painful, that I'd go back to using to numb the pain. I'd much rather stay in NA, keep working my Steps and continue to evolve into the person my Higher Power wants me to be!
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