DaveyT

Well hey it's 9pm now, shop closes at 10. I have no intention of going up there and buying alcohol. Maybe youo're right, sometimes it just springs out of nowehere and lingering on the why is a bad thing.

The important point is I'm sober and I didn't give in. You know I even managed to cook tonight, something I can't do often due to my illness. I made a fantastic chicken curry

Received

Yum!!! I made a huge pork loin in the crock pot Monday and will finish it off tonight.

You won. Pathetic loser beast, lost. Case over.

nycguy83

I envy those who are able to make a it back to sobriety after just one night of drinking or using. My relapses have tended to last until I wind up in an emergency room, and even then I get so depressed I'll leave the hospital and drink.

Sorry to hear about your illness, I was just responding to the initial post in the thread.

DaveyT

There is no need to apologise. With help from the people here I have learned that we really do deal with these things in our own way and if you look back in my posting history you will see there were times when I didn't havea single night of relapsing. Before I joined this forum I had some periods of sobriety which ended with me going full on drinking for months at a time.

The people here, or at least being responsible to them by being honest about my progress is what has allowed me to stay sober, or when I stumble from the path to keep it short and hop back on.

You sound a little down of defeated, but remember you shouldn't judge yourself by others. The fact you recognise the problem and are doing something about it is more than many addicts achieve!

You keep at it mate, you will get there. It takes, time, effort, support and yes some setbacks, but being sober is something you will achieve.

DaveyT

Hey guys.

I'm thinking about starting a new thread as this one was set up to deal with a relapse and the stages I was going through to deal with that. I'll think about it a little but maybe it would be nice to have a fresh thread with my ongoing progress. Of course if anything went wrong I would have to make something new again. But I feel myself filled with a confidence I never had before, I've even been out with friends now and no drinking happened!

I may leave it until after Christmas/New year due to the obvious dangers of that period. But yeah after that maybea fresh start would be good.

Received

You "sound" excellent, Davey! I really needed to hear some awesomeness today.

I'll keep an eye out for your new thread. Until then, I'll just keep looking for you here at this one.

DaveyT

Hey again, yeah I thought about it and with new year coming up and the dangers involved with all of that I will continue with this thread until after then. Not that I plan to lapse, only it's a bad time of year for lapsing, along with birthdays. Hopefully that doesn't sound defeatist!

Received

What's up Davey?

DaveyT

Not much mate, not feeling well, still have an unpleasant cold. The most minor infection is amplified with my illness so a pathetic little cold makes me feel like someone has given me ebola.

Despite feeling like hell I pushed myself to cook because insanely hot food helps free up the airways. So I threw every chilli I had into it. Burns like hell to eat but clears everything out, seriously it's better than any medication.

On my maximum dose of medication and swalloed the break through stuff so feeling a bit fluffy, it's the only way I can explain it. Not a nice feeling.

Received

Gosh, Davey. Sorry you're feeling so poorly.

Take good care of yourself. I'm sending healing energy your way.

DaveyT

Hey Received, don't worry mate I'm used to this generally unwell feeling. A tiny cold screws me up more than you can imagine but after many years it does't seem to bother me like it used to. I guess anyone with a chronic illness develops an emotional callous.

With the pain under control it's a lot easier to deal with it all. Still I don't enjoy using my strong pain killers. They make me feel like I'm floating, everything is kind of fluffy. It's just not a nice experience, but I guess it's better than laying awake all night in agony.

I've organised a massage tomorrow, they are painful to begin with but long term it helps relieve the pain. I found a great sports massage person who understands my illness and can help to release some of the stress that occurs in my muscles. Worth every penny.

DaveyT

Hey guys.

I've run out of breakthrough pain meds. So now I'm just using the standard stuff I'm given and it's pretty hard because of the cold I have. I mean this really is a cold not flu but as I said, a cold affects me far worse than most people due to my condition.

So yeah right now my legs are on fire, seriously my legs are always the worst affected, walking around is awful. Everything else hurts as well despite the medication. I'm sober but don't get me wrong, the temptation is there. I'm really hoping things die down in the next few days. Having trouble raising my arms above chest height atm

Received

Think of you.

Hang in there, Davey.

Received

Ugh. This was suppose to say "Thinking of you." Not "Think".

My dog kept grabbing stuffies, jumping on the couch and plunking them down on my laptop (his way of trying to get me to go to bed).

Sorry about that.

Received

Checking to see how you are doing Davey.

I feel like your AV was coming through fairly strongly in your last post and probably should have said something earlier.

I hope you are doing better.

DaveyT

Hey guys, I'm ok although the last few days have been rough, that's due to my illness not any alcohol related issues. I was feeling a bit better but then for some unknown reason things got a lot worse, so I've been hauled up in bed, hoping things will get better. Today luckily isn't too bad.

Don't worry still sober. Lol actually I've been so ill there was no way to go and get alcohol as I'm too unwell. Maybe that's a blessing in this circumstance.

Received

Thanks for checking in Davey.

DaveyT

Still not too well at the moment. Just absolutely exhausted and in pain, really glad I encouraged the pain clinic to limit my meds because right now I'd happily take a few more than required to take away the pain.

The temptation to drink is incredibly high but as I said before, I'm far too unwell to go and buy alcohol so that's a real blessing as right now I could easily see myself succumbing to that nasty little voice. Trying everything I can to relieve the pain, hot pads, over the counter meds, meditation, none of it is doing much.

Will report back when this dies down. I mean seriously all I have is a pathetic little cold which most people would not be concerned with, but my condition makes it a lot worse.

DaveyT

Fell like crap atm, guess it's more than a cold and maybe it's flu. I'm been spending a lot of time in bed, not much else I can do really

Still sober but I'm so unwell I have little choice because I can't exactly go and buy alcohol as I am.

Received

Davey this is an awful long time to have it be a cold or the flu and it worries me for you.

One of my kids (adult) was sick for several weeks and kept thinking it was a cold or allergies. After 3 weeks they started to spike a fever so went to the doctor. It ended up being a VERY bad strep infection. Poor kid ended up on two rounds of IV antibiotics and all kinds of test to make sure it didn't damage the heart.

Have you thought about going to the doctor to be checked?