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A Thought for myself

Old 04-04-2011, 03:01 AM
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Interesting information Pete...thanks!

Makes me wonder about the bible which was translated from greek....love is one of the most commonly used words in the bible...hmmmmm
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Old 04-04-2011, 03:53 AM
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What little I know about the translations and not having done a Bible study,
( and I don't want to) the New Testament was written in Greek and Hebrew, I think.
The way I see it, it was later translated in Latin,(Catholics) then they argued, or protested ( Protestants ), it seems they are still arguing over the translations. Then logic would assume to say, why not go back to the original and start again?

All around the places, "God is Love", "God Loves you" and blah blah blah.

Well, love life, does not mean have to like it.
Simplified, I Love the taste of wine, but don't like what it does to me.
Baffling.
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Old 04-04-2011, 10:56 AM
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So I looked it up and the love that is used in the Greek, at least in Corinthians 1 ( personal favorite) is Agape....very interesting.

My LC gave me an exercise for the week...everyday define "Love"...Today's thought is that "Love is forgiveness".

I don't love wine...I despise it...the smell makes me ill today, thankfully!
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Old 04-05-2011, 09:22 AM
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Today's thought...

Love is understanding without judgment....thanks to Sargent for reminding me of this
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:07 PM
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Fitting in And being normal.

I was at a broker cocktail party tonight. What few women there were polished and professional, a little on the conservative side. The men were invariably white.

I'm white and I can do polished if I Have to....but maybe not polished and conservative at least not anymore....you see I stand out..I'm tall 5'11" in my bare feet ...my hair is long and red and a little out of control...I have a prominent nose. I spent most of my life trying to minimize these things.

I first realized I was different in kindergarten...my Mom wasn't American and my Dad was from the Bronx ...this in a town that is famous for being populated by old new England wasps...I joke about the breeding program here...lol. and I was different.

I was awkward with my classmates...unsure of my place...when I got to college I found that drinking helped me feel comfortable and fit in.

This is fairly common here on SR ...what troubles me is the constant stream of people wanting to be "normal"...and I think this goes beyond just drinking normally. It is the lack of accepting our uniqueness and wanting to fit in.

Only in embracing our being different can we ever embrace our sobriety.

I stand in the raw unfinished space of the eighth floor at the brokers party....I look at the suits, the expensive coiffures, the polished expressions ...I know how to play this role...I used to do it well. I no longer wish to.

I am different. I am sober. I am me.
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:12 PM
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We could be twins T - except I'd be Danny DeVito...I'm about 5 ft 5 LOL.

I'm glad you're you and even gladder that you embrace that

D
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:15 PM
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Hugs D....we could remake the movie

I'm glad you are you
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Old 04-05-2011, 06:24 PM
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even when I pull posts? LOL

D
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:17 AM
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Thumbs up for a remake!

Talking of remakes have you seen the movie Be Kind Rewind with Jack Black and Mos Def where they start to remake all kinds of films like Ghostbusters, Robocop, Rush Hour 2 and Driving Miss Daisy and call the process Sweding. Maybe you could Swede Twins?

(don't know why I wrote this, but when you're sitting in a library trying to study, the mind tends to wander off )
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:38 PM
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Lol...have not seen that movie.

Dee you have not pulled a post of mine in a long time
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Old 04-07-2011, 01:07 PM
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For yesterday which I did not post because my phone died...

Love is sacred...we are all God's children and God is love therefore love is sacred.

For today...love is faithful. Without faith, in one another, in God and in ourselves love is not possible. After all what is love if not a massive leap of faith?

Apologies for the God references but this is ironically the only place I feel 100% comfortable posting these thoughts
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Old 04-08-2011, 06:59 PM
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Today...

Love kid physically manifested...and I'm not just talking about the hootchie kootchie (can't believe I wrote that). With self love it is how we care for our physical selves and with love of others it is through touch. I think there are studies which whooshes children whoop are not touched fail too thrive...a gentle touch is an expression of love.
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Old 04-09-2011, 08:12 PM
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Love is fun.

This one is hardest for me.
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Old 04-10-2011, 05:59 PM
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Fantastic session with the LC.

We are so much more than we realize. My life is a blank canvas
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:44 AM
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Thinking about cutting back on therapy...every other week as opposed to every week.

Anyone ever have this conversation with a therapist?
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Old 04-12-2011, 06:37 PM
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Someone pm'ed me to ask how I was doing the other day. They said I always offered others support so they were offering itt to me. I was incredibly touched and of course I said thank you I am doing fine...but I wonder sometimes if I wasn't fine would I admit it and ask for help or am I still caught in the overachiever perfect cycle that has ruled my life. "No emotional problems tolerated in this family" blah blah blah.

Would I even know to ask for help if I was drowning?
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Old 04-12-2011, 07:41 PM
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I get sucked into that one all the time:

"Hey recycle how are you doing?

"Fine thanks" is my reply. Usually this is true, but often it is code for: "My a$$ is falling off, but I don't really want to talk about it." It sounds cynical to say, but most people prefer it this way. A self fulfilling prophecy no doubt.
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:23 PM
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Well we LOVE you here LaFemme!

You are a smart and beautiful woman and you are a great inspiration to me and several other people here on SR.

What's not to love?
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Old 04-15-2011, 06:12 PM
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Thanks Stacy....hugs

So since this thread is turning into my journal I am going to post this here...its essentially a vent.

Tonight, on my way to a reception for my art I got towed. I called my sister to let her know since it might effect her as she is visiting me tomorrow ans I might not be able to drive her around because of this. The first thing she does is call our Dad....wtf....I'm too old for that. I would have mentioned it to him but the last thing I needed was to deal with him while dealing with the other stuff....but fine whatever.

The thing that really gets me is that she texts me to say "have fun at the party...now you can drink as much as you want since you aren't driving."

Of everyone she had the best idea of how bad my drinking got...she knew and her exboyfriend knew...he was a Dr. Who worked with addicted servicemen and women...I think he would have eventually stepped in but she broke up with him. Since he mentioned my drinking to me several times I'm sure they discussed it. I have no idea why she would say something like that...even though I don't talk about my sobriety with my family she has been around me many times this past almost year where I have not drank. I just can't fathom it.

I texted her back that since I don't drink that was hardly a factor.

I think the anger is obviously more than just about this...its about how angry I am that I put my life on hold to take care of her and my mother...this was because of my lack of self love and worth ...know that I am sober I have to deal with that anger I have that they let me sacrifice myself over and over again for them. I've made excuses for my sister too many times...she has had her miracle (long story) and is no longer sick....I have had My miracle and I can't be her servant anymore...nor her favorite target to manipulate.

I am so sick of the head games my family plays on me...I don't think they do it with intentional malice but they do it nonetheless.

Ok...that felt good to get that off my chest. I am tempted to delete this but if there is a small chance someone else might benefit (even me) its worth leaving up.
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Old 04-15-2011, 07:35 PM
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My sister called my dad at 6:30...I just got off the phone with him he has spent the past 4 hours trying to figure out What he can do to help me fix my problem. This is what bugs me...my sister had no problem burdening our 72 year old father with this when he already has enough on his plate and there is nothing he can do at the moment. She is so freaking self absorbed! Ugh!
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