Thanks Stacy....hugs
So since this thread is turning into my journal I am going to post this here...its essentially a vent.
Tonight, on my way to a reception for my art I got towed. I called my sister to let her know since it might effect her as she is visiting me tomorrow ans I might not be able to drive her around because of this. The first thing she does is call our Dad....wtf....I'm too old for that. I would have mentioned it to him but the last thing I needed was to deal with him while dealing with the other stuff....but fine whatever.
The thing that really gets me is that she texts me to say "have fun at the party...now you can drink as much as you want since you aren't driving."
Of everyone she had the best idea of how bad my drinking got...she knew and her exboyfriend knew...he was a Dr. Who worked with addicted servicemen and women...I think he would have eventually stepped in but she broke up with him. Since he mentioned my drinking to me several times I'm sure they discussed it. I have no idea why she would say something like that...even though I don't talk about my sobriety with my family she has been around me many times this past almost year where I have not drank. I just can't fathom it.
I texted her back that since I don't drink that was hardly a factor.
I think the anger is obviously more than just about this...its about how angry I am that I put my life on hold to take care of her and my mother...this was because of my lack of self love and worth ...know that I am sober I have to deal with that anger I have that they let me sacrifice myself over and over again for them. I've made excuses for my sister too many times...she has had her miracle (long story) and is no longer sick....I have had My miracle and I can't be her servant anymore...nor her favorite target to manipulate.
I am so sick of the head games my family plays on me...I don't think they do it with intentional malice but they do it nonetheless.
Ok...that felt good to get that off my chest. I am tempted to delete this but if there is a small chance someone else might benefit (even me) its worth leaving up.