It's all about me Part 3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
I think everyone took the day off. They left us all alone and shame on them, they know we get into trouble without supervision. Ha! I might draw on pictures again or share more articles on Ben Franklin. Ha!
My husband said he had problems thinking. He would say " he couldnt think right" and he was worried about his ability to make good decisions at work, focus, remember details. But its better now, I dont notice him having problems and hes stop saying his brain is broke. He has such a way with words, I miss the big goof. Sounds like his work is going good and I think he can use a positive experience in this area, so yay!
I have been meaning to ask how your daughter and H are doing now. Its positive she can see the changes in how you interact, and looks like she is seeing his behavior change with better listening, more patience. More like the H he was before.
I owe you a pm too. Been busy at work today and went out to lunch late, tried to do a couple errands.
If he does come home this weekend, I need two days notice because I did it. I let the pets in the bedroom. Kept the closet shut and moved a lot of things but Im going to be cleaning up any signs of pet hair. And I will need to transition them back out. Maybe he will see their sad faces and decide he missed them so much he wants them in the room. I think the novelty of the bedroom would wear off for them after a while too.
My husband said he had problems thinking. He would say " he couldnt think right" and he was worried about his ability to make good decisions at work, focus, remember details. But its better now, I dont notice him having problems and hes stop saying his brain is broke. He has such a way with words, I miss the big goof. Sounds like his work is going good and I think he can use a positive experience in this area, so yay!
I have been meaning to ask how your daughter and H are doing now. Its positive she can see the changes in how you interact, and looks like she is seeing his behavior change with better listening, more patience. More like the H he was before.
I owe you a pm too. Been busy at work today and went out to lunch late, tried to do a couple errands.
If he does come home this weekend, I need two days notice because I did it. I let the pets in the bedroom. Kept the closet shut and moved a lot of things but Im going to be cleaning up any signs of pet hair. And I will need to transition them back out. Maybe he will see their sad faces and decide he missed them so much he wants them in the room. I think the novelty of the bedroom would wear off for them after a while too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Allfor I forgot to tell you. I liked the article you posted on psychotherapy but when I tried to read it early in the day my mind went numb. Its a thinking piece and I had to wake up first. But I think the ideas of how psychotherapist professionals work where they modify their approach to the person, understanding their unique needs is soo true! The one I worked with was good, but Mr Blues doctor who Ive done sessions with too is incredibly and amazingly perceptive. I soo appreciative for all he's done to help us both.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
H is off the rails again. Agitated, repeating himself. Scowling. Being extra forceful and assuming everyone is thinking negatively. I can relate this directly to him not getting enough sleep. But short of physically putting him in bed at night, what do I do? Last night he worked late, got home and decided to eat a bag of chips (family size, yikes) and drink a litre of caffeinated pop. I was already in bed, and short of taking the food and pop right out of his hands, which he would NOT take kindly to, what are my choices here?
What ends up happening is we all suffer for his bad decisions. He is refusing to pick dd up from her youth group tonight because he "doesn't want to". Meanwhile I can't pick up Dd because Ds won't go to sleep without me and H does not have the patience to deal with Ds at bedtime. So dd needs to find another way home, while H is saying "I never do anything for myself! I want one night off!" sigh, when do I get a night off? Now somehow I need to arrange a ride for dd too.
I am trying to keep my distance at the moment, he's past yellow and there is no turning this mood around. If he would map with me he would see this as a trigger but until that happens....
Ugh.
What ends up happening is we all suffer for his bad decisions. He is refusing to pick dd up from her youth group tonight because he "doesn't want to". Meanwhile I can't pick up Dd because Ds won't go to sleep without me and H does not have the patience to deal with Ds at bedtime. So dd needs to find another way home, while H is saying "I never do anything for myself! I want one night off!" sigh, when do I get a night off? Now somehow I need to arrange a ride for dd too.
I am trying to keep my distance at the moment, he's past yellow and there is no turning this mood around. If he would map with me he would see this as a trigger but until that happens....
Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
You know, I feel like I just go from one crisis to another. And while this isn't a crisis in terms of lives on the line or split second decision making, it feels like one because H completely blows things out of proportion.
Is this PAWS? Is it H being a jerk? I don't know anymore. Sometimes he's so receptive and easy to be with, like yesterday when he was so helpful and cheerful. And today it's like a different person. And while I really hate to use the analogy, he's worse than Ds on his worst tantrum day. At least I can just say, Ds is 2 and that's that. H is a grown man who should not be like this.
I feel like I'm always on guard. Before he started drinking, this was never the case. And God help me if I say that, because I'm relating something to his drinking then and I can't bring that up.
I feel like a roller coaster.
Is this PAWS? Is it H being a jerk? I don't know anymore. Sometimes he's so receptive and easy to be with, like yesterday when he was so helpful and cheerful. And today it's like a different person. And while I really hate to use the analogy, he's worse than Ds on his worst tantrum day. At least I can just say, Ds is 2 and that's that. H is a grown man who should not be like this.
I feel like I'm always on guard. Before he started drinking, this was never the case. And God help me if I say that, because I'm relating something to his drinking then and I can't bring that up.
I feel like a roller coaster.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Hi gals!
I'm the walking/sitting half lidded person here!
First off and foremost! PCCharley! Did you by chance read any of the info on the link Cleanin posted? If not? Go read some of it! It's a real eye opener!
Blue! You need to behave yourself while your elder isn't around!
I haven't been here because: Monday morning around 8:00 am Jethro got up and saw my mom had called his cell phone. He called her back only to find out her Central Air unit wasn't running the fan. So he got ready and went over there. (There were three bolts that had vibrated loose and the fan was leaning sideways. He fixed it!) I stayed up to babysit Maria. He didn't get home until 1:00 PM. I went to bed at 2:30 PM! I woke up at 2:30 AM.
I sent my salon gal a text at 8:00 AM asking for time to get my hair done. She told me to come on! So I got ready and arrived at 9:30 AM. I left there at around 2:00 PM! I called mom about meeting us at our favorite Mexican food place. She said "Let me change my clothes and I'll be on my way". I picked Jethro up and we headed that way too.
We had a nice meal and then I said "Let's head on over to mom's for coffee"? And off we all went. We didn't leave mom's until 7:00 PM! We get home and I'm needing to get the dog fed, Marvin's cage cleaned and Maria's tomato cut up for her. I get the tomato out and start slicing it. I see Jethro come out of the bedroom and sit down with Maria. OH NO! That ain't going to happen. I say; can you come cut the tomato up for Maria? He gives me an attitude about wanting to spend time with his little girl that missed him! I turned from the counter and said "You can spend time with Maria for the rest of the night"! He grunts and groans getting off the couch! I head over to the dog food bag for Magnum's food. I cut up some leftover meat for a little extra flavor and take it all outside. Then I come back inside and open the porch door to put Marvin outside. I get his crate cleaned, canned corn in a bowl, fresh water, some more parakeet seeds poured in his seed bowl and open the door to let him back in.
SO? I'm getting very sleepy and needing a shower to get the itchy cut hair off of me. And all these curls she put in my hair is going to go bye bye!
An elderly lady came in as I was checking out wanting info on the salon. She saw me turn around and saw my hair down my back. She asked me: "Is all that your natural hair?" LOL I smiled and walked over to her. I ran my fingers thru my hair saying "yes it's all my own hair"! No extensions. She reached out to touch my hair and said "It's so soft and beautiful"! I thanked her and gave my salon gal all the credit for making it look so good!
TOD
I'm the walking/sitting half lidded person here!
First off and foremost! PCCharley! Did you by chance read any of the info on the link Cleanin posted? If not? Go read some of it! It's a real eye opener!
Blue! You need to behave yourself while your elder isn't around!
I haven't been here because: Monday morning around 8:00 am Jethro got up and saw my mom had called his cell phone. He called her back only to find out her Central Air unit wasn't running the fan. So he got ready and went over there. (There were three bolts that had vibrated loose and the fan was leaning sideways. He fixed it!) I stayed up to babysit Maria. He didn't get home until 1:00 PM. I went to bed at 2:30 PM! I woke up at 2:30 AM.
I sent my salon gal a text at 8:00 AM asking for time to get my hair done. She told me to come on! So I got ready and arrived at 9:30 AM. I left there at around 2:00 PM! I called mom about meeting us at our favorite Mexican food place. She said "Let me change my clothes and I'll be on my way". I picked Jethro up and we headed that way too.
We had a nice meal and then I said "Let's head on over to mom's for coffee"? And off we all went. We didn't leave mom's until 7:00 PM! We get home and I'm needing to get the dog fed, Marvin's cage cleaned and Maria's tomato cut up for her. I get the tomato out and start slicing it. I see Jethro come out of the bedroom and sit down with Maria. OH NO! That ain't going to happen. I say; can you come cut the tomato up for Maria? He gives me an attitude about wanting to spend time with his little girl that missed him! I turned from the counter and said "You can spend time with Maria for the rest of the night"! He grunts and groans getting off the couch! I head over to the dog food bag for Magnum's food. I cut up some leftover meat for a little extra flavor and take it all outside. Then I come back inside and open the porch door to put Marvin outside. I get his crate cleaned, canned corn in a bowl, fresh water, some more parakeet seeds poured in his seed bowl and open the door to let him back in.
SO? I'm getting very sleepy and needing a shower to get the itchy cut hair off of me. And all these curls she put in my hair is going to go bye bye!
An elderly lady came in as I was checking out wanting info on the salon. She saw me turn around and saw my hair down my back. She asked me: "Is all that your natural hair?" LOL I smiled and walked over to her. I ran my fingers thru my hair saying "yes it's all my own hair"! No extensions. She reached out to touch my hair and said "It's so soft and beautiful"! I thanked her and gave my salon gal all the credit for making it look so good!TOD
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Alrighty I'm back! **huge sigh** everyone's fast asleep now!
Charley so sorry to read that hubs is off again.
I hope you were able to find a ride for DD. I've noticed that DD needs picked and dropped quite a bit. Is there anything you can do to work it out so that you guys won't be running from place to place each night? Can you find some people to car pool with? Like if one parent can drop the other can pick up? Or get together with four or five other moms and each of you will have one night each week to drive? It is really hard on a family to have to be picking and dropping every evening. Both of you need some relaxation time. I remember you were telling me that your daughter would be driving soon. That will really help I think!
TOD glad you had a fun day! It's important to have days like that. I'll bet your Mom is happy with you guys. I know I love it when my daughter takes me out for lunch! Life is too short not to enjoy it with friends and family.
Butter I'm glad you checked in! Hope you have a memorable spring break!
Allfor I enjoyed your article too. Reminded me of my IOP and my intake appt. My counselor asked me lots and lots of questions in order to tailor an individualized treatment plan for me. Of course that was not cut in stone. It was very flexible and room was made to change it according to my needs and as things progressed.
Blue I'm glad husbunny isn't as foggy as he was before. I remember feeling extremely foggy! In fact I still have a hard time gathering my thoughts and figuring out what words to use sometimes. It's extremely frustrating that my thoughts don't just flow out easily. My moods were very changeable too. I would be laughing at something one second....crying the next. Feeling contented and optimistic one second then felt my world was falling apart the next. Very very crazy! I blame it on PAWS!!! I spent several years destroying my brain so of course it's going to take a while to repair the damage...unfortunately!
Charley so sorry to read that hubs is off again.
I hope you were able to find a ride for DD. I've noticed that DD needs picked and dropped quite a bit. Is there anything you can do to work it out so that you guys won't be running from place to place each night? Can you find some people to car pool with? Like if one parent can drop the other can pick up? Or get together with four or five other moms and each of you will have one night each week to drive? It is really hard on a family to have to be picking and dropping every evening. Both of you need some relaxation time. I remember you were telling me that your daughter would be driving soon. That will really help I think!
TOD glad you had a fun day! It's important to have days like that. I'll bet your Mom is happy with you guys. I know I love it when my daughter takes me out for lunch! Life is too short not to enjoy it with friends and family.
Butter I'm glad you checked in! Hope you have a memorable spring break!
Allfor I enjoyed your article too. Reminded me of my IOP and my intake appt. My counselor asked me lots and lots of questions in order to tailor an individualized treatment plan for me. Of course that was not cut in stone. It was very flexible and room was made to change it according to my needs and as things progressed.
Blue I'm glad husbunny isn't as foggy as he was before. I remember feeling extremely foggy! In fact I still have a hard time gathering my thoughts and figuring out what words to use sometimes. It's extremely frustrating that my thoughts don't just flow out easily. My moods were very changeable too. I would be laughing at something one second....crying the next. Feeling contented and optimistic one second then felt my world was falling apart the next. Very very crazy! I blame it on PAWS!!! I spent several years destroying my brain so of course it's going to take a while to repair the damage...unfortunately!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Ok I'll just go ahead and continue writing down here. Lol the past few days I've lost some of my posts do to my iPad shutting down out of the blue. Even when I write in the notebook section if it shuts down it doesn't save it even when I push the save button. Very strange and has me scared that something is seriously wrong with it. This is my link to you guys...I can't imagine losing my link! Ugh! Anyway, today ended up being the day that the car was ready to be picked up. They did an excellent job fixing that huge bump in the door. It looks like it never happened! Yay! So after that I told my husband I was tired of cooking and needed a night out of the kitchen. So we called home to tell our daughter to order pizza. We knew our youngest wouldn't eat the pizza so I went thru the McDonalds drive thru for her. So when I got home I gave my youngest her food and took some plastic plates out for the pizza. We all sat in the living room and ate pizza and drank root beer....and watched a movie. The second Hunger Games movie. (TOD didn't you say you watched them too?) It was so good and now I'm ready for the third which we will watch tomorrow.
Hope Mr. Charley is calm by now. Thinking of you my friend!
Hope Mr. Charley is calm by now. Thinking of you my friend!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by PinkCloudsCharley 
You know, I feel like I just go from one crisis to another. And while this isn't a crisis in terms of lives on the line or split second decision making, it feels like one because H completely blows things out of proportion.
Is this PAWS? Is it H being a jerk? I don't know anymore. Sometimes he's so receptive and easy to be with, like yesterday when he was so helpful and cheerful. And today it's like a different person. And while I really hate to use the analogy, he's worse than Ds on his worst tantrum day. At least I can just say, Ds is 2 and that's that. H is a grown man who should not be like this.
I feel like I'm always on guard. Before he started drinking, this was never the case. And God help me if I say that, because I'm relating something to his drinking then and I can't bring that up.
I feel like a roller coaster.
Is this PAWS? Is it H being a jerk? I don't know anymore. Sometimes he's so receptive and easy to be with, like yesterday when he was so helpful and cheerful. And today it's like a different person. And while I really hate to use the analogy, he's worse than Ds on his worst tantrum day. At least I can just say, Ds is 2 and that's that. H is a grown man who should not be like this.
I feel like I'm always on guard. Before he started drinking, this was never the case. And God help me if I say that, because I'm relating something to his drinking then and I can't bring that up.
I feel like a roller coaster.
Sorry to hear about DS and DD. I know how difficult it would be to bundle him up, head out at his bedtime and then get him home and calm again after picking her up. Nearly impossible if hes like mine. Hope it all worked out ok tonight.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
I love root beer Cleanin... haven't had any in a long time. I haven't watched the Hunger Games.. I bet this would be something my husband would enjoy too.. probably more than the xmas movies he patiently watched? I will check them out for a weekend.
Running late tonight but wanted to say hi to everyone.
Thanks for checking in buttercup. I bet your excited for your vacation. I hope its wonderful and full of happy memories.
Your doing great Blue. I knew you would handle his being away for work in a calm and collected manner.. Im sure he will be fine because he has done a lot of work and is determined to live a good life.
TOD, even your relaxing days are busy, but it sounded like a lot of fun. Its always nice to get your hair done up. Im glad someone noticed and gave you a compliment right away. Probably all the vitamins and cactus juice are good for the hair.
We went to walmart again, I know I was so frustrated with them. Just me and my son.. we were looking at this rack of toys that were on clearance, and he found a couple he wanted. Transformer type things, a couple looked strange so I guided him away from those. While he was looking I picked up this Barbie type doll in a box with what I have to say was a very pretty dress. My son was looking at it and I said how pretty she was, and then he wanted ME to buy her for MYSELF. He said she wanted to go home with us. I told him no I would get something else in the home section and he kept saying she was pretty and poking at her dress. So I came home with a Barbie. My husband was asking why did I buy him a Barbie, and I said its a long story. He likes to look at her dress because its shimmery but he wants me to keep her. And we got him a pillow with some characters from Frozen on it.. and he likes it a lot, but I doubt it will last long with the cats. Its a nylon type cover and as soon as they see how soft it is I know they will start scratching at it, they do this kneading movement with their paws.. it will be picked all over.. but what can you do I guess. I spot cleaned it as best I could because he wanted to sleep with it tonight.
Running late tonight but wanted to say hi to everyone.
Thanks for checking in buttercup. I bet your excited for your vacation. I hope its wonderful and full of happy memories.
Your doing great Blue. I knew you would handle his being away for work in a calm and collected manner.. Im sure he will be fine because he has done a lot of work and is determined to live a good life.
TOD, even your relaxing days are busy, but it sounded like a lot of fun. Its always nice to get your hair done up. Im glad someone noticed and gave you a compliment right away. Probably all the vitamins and cactus juice are good for the hair.
We went to walmart again, I know I was so frustrated with them. Just me and my son.. we were looking at this rack of toys that were on clearance, and he found a couple he wanted. Transformer type things, a couple looked strange so I guided him away from those. While he was looking I picked up this Barbie type doll in a box with what I have to say was a very pretty dress. My son was looking at it and I said how pretty she was, and then he wanted ME to buy her for MYSELF. He said she wanted to go home with us. I told him no I would get something else in the home section and he kept saying she was pretty and poking at her dress. So I came home with a Barbie. My husband was asking why did I buy him a Barbie, and I said its a long story. He likes to look at her dress because its shimmery but he wants me to keep her. And we got him a pillow with some characters from Frozen on it.. and he likes it a lot, but I doubt it will last long with the cats. Its a nylon type cover and as soon as they see how soft it is I know they will start scratching at it, they do this kneading movement with their paws.. it will be picked all over.. but what can you do I guess. I spot cleaned it as best I could because he wanted to sleep with it tonight.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
LOL So cute about your son, Allfor! My son loves anything sparkly too, but his favourite are shiny cars. So sweet that he wanted you to buy something for you!!
Clean, sounds like a wonderful relaxing evening with your family. I haven't watched The Hunger Games, but DD has watched them and read all the books. The books series is one of her favourites.
So glad this time is going well for you, Blue! So happy you will have those positive memories now to draw from for the rest of the month, and the next time husbunny will have to work away.
I read the PAWS link Clean posted and wow, that fits! Exactly! But the problem I'm facing is ... I'm the only one who knows this stuff about him. He doesn't. That frustrates me.
When we started out, we realized that I like to read and research and he doesn't, so I would do the research and let him know the breakdown of things and he would act accordingly. We do this for mostly everything, including big purchases like cars, or vacations, or whatever. I do the research, give him a breakdown of info, and we either decide together or he decides if it's related to him.
Well now, I've got all this information, like I usually do, only he doesn't really want to know. He feels so ashamed and guilty of his drinking that he wants to just put it all behind him. Except he can't! he can't, because it's affecting him now, this PAWS thing is totally him right now. Argh!
We have one last session next week before our counselor goes on a month vacation again. We won't see him again until the first week of May, and my individual appt this time is after H's individual session and our marriage session, so I won't get a chance to bring this up beforehand. But it's something I need to address.
Last night DD was able to find a way home. She does have a lot of activities, she was an only child for so long that she got so involved in dance, and she has classes Mon, Tues, Wed, and Thurs with competitions, etc and rehearsals on the weekends. When we sign her up every year, H promises "we will do whatever we need to do for you to get there" and every year we have, but this year, since he's quit, he's just having a really hard time. And it puts it in my lap. We've tried car pooling for dance but it doesn't work so well as everyone has different classes and schedules. Last night at her youth group, they were having a prayer vigil for a kid she went to elementary school with who committed suicide this past weekend. It was so important for her to go and I was so upset at H for flaking out on that.
I think I'm going to have to approach H at a time when he's feeling calm and open. He does have those times, lol, even though it doesn't sound like it. He wants to work as a team, but only when it suits him or only if it's positive and that just isn't realistic.
He finally told me last night he's under a lot of pressure at work - a huge report with the drop-dead date of Friday, a big presentation on Thursday, and over 20 calls to return. So ok, buddy, tell me these things BEFORE you take it out on me, and let me work with you to reduce the stress at home before it gets unmanageable! You'd think that would be an easy concept but nope. Somehow that means he's failing and then he feels guilty about everything all over again even though no one mentioned drinking or addiction in even the slightest sense. Hyper sensitive, anyone?
Ok, rant over.
Clean, sounds like a wonderful relaxing evening with your family. I haven't watched The Hunger Games, but DD has watched them and read all the books. The books series is one of her favourites.
So glad this time is going well for you, Blue! So happy you will have those positive memories now to draw from for the rest of the month, and the next time husbunny will have to work away.
I read the PAWS link Clean posted and wow, that fits! Exactly! But the problem I'm facing is ... I'm the only one who knows this stuff about him. He doesn't. That frustrates me.
When we started out, we realized that I like to read and research and he doesn't, so I would do the research and let him know the breakdown of things and he would act accordingly. We do this for mostly everything, including big purchases like cars, or vacations, or whatever. I do the research, give him a breakdown of info, and we either decide together or he decides if it's related to him.
Well now, I've got all this information, like I usually do, only he doesn't really want to know. He feels so ashamed and guilty of his drinking that he wants to just put it all behind him. Except he can't! he can't, because it's affecting him now, this PAWS thing is totally him right now. Argh!
We have one last session next week before our counselor goes on a month vacation again. We won't see him again until the first week of May, and my individual appt this time is after H's individual session and our marriage session, so I won't get a chance to bring this up beforehand. But it's something I need to address.
Last night DD was able to find a way home. She does have a lot of activities, she was an only child for so long that she got so involved in dance, and she has classes Mon, Tues, Wed, and Thurs with competitions, etc and rehearsals on the weekends. When we sign her up every year, H promises "we will do whatever we need to do for you to get there" and every year we have, but this year, since he's quit, he's just having a really hard time. And it puts it in my lap. We've tried car pooling for dance but it doesn't work so well as everyone has different classes and schedules. Last night at her youth group, they were having a prayer vigil for a kid she went to elementary school with who committed suicide this past weekend. It was so important for her to go and I was so upset at H for flaking out on that.
I think I'm going to have to approach H at a time when he's feeling calm and open. He does have those times, lol, even though it doesn't sound like it. He wants to work as a team, but only when it suits him or only if it's positive and that just isn't realistic.
He finally told me last night he's under a lot of pressure at work - a huge report with the drop-dead date of Friday, a big presentation on Thursday, and over 20 calls to return. So ok, buddy, tell me these things BEFORE you take it out on me, and let me work with you to reduce the stress at home before it gets unmanageable! You'd think that would be an easy concept but nope. Somehow that means he's failing and then he feels guilty about everything all over again even though no one mentioned drinking or addiction in even the slightest sense. Hyper sensitive, anyone?
Ok, rant over.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
Oh! Wanted to say something about Toronto! I've never been there, personally - well, I've been in the airport for flight connections but never stepped out into the city itself, but H has been there and loved it. In fact, everyone I know who has been has loved it. I personally like going to the West Coast - BC, Vancouver, Victoria. I love the mountains and the ocean. There's really no where in Canada you could go that you wouldn't enjoy, but maybe I'm biased 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by Tiredofdrugs
Hi gals!
I'm the walking/sitting half lidded person here!
First off and foremost! PCCharley! Did you by chance read any of the info on the link Cleanin posted? If not? Go read some of it! It's a real eye opener!
Blue! You need to behave yourself while your elder isn't around!
I haven't been here because: Monday morning around 8:00 am Jethro got up and saw my mom had called his cell phone. He called her back only to find out her Central Air unit wasn't running the fan. So he got ready and went over there. (There were three bolts that had vibrated loose and the fan was leaning sideways. He fixed it!) I stayed up to babysit Maria. He didn't get home until 1:00 PM. I went to bed at 2:30 PM! I woke up at 2:30 AM.
I sent my salon gal a text at 8:00 AM asking for time to get my hair done. She told me to come on! So I got ready and arrived at 9:30 AM. I left there at around 2:00 PM! I called mom about meeting us at our favorite Mexican food place. She said "Let me change my clothes and I'll be on my way". I picked Jethro up and we headed that way too.
We had a nice meal and then I said "Let's head on over to mom's for coffee"? And off we all went. We didn't leave mom's until 7:00 PM! We get home and I'm needing to get the dog fed, Marvin's cage cleaned and Maria's tomato cut up for her. I get the tomato out and start slicing it. I see Jethro come out of the bedroom and sit down with Maria. OH NO! That ain't going to happen. I say; can you come cut the tomato up for Maria? He gives me an attitude about wanting to spend time with his little girl that missed him! I turned from the counter and said "You can spend time with Maria for the rest of the night"! He grunts and groans getting off the couch! I head over to the dog food bag for Magnum's food. I cut up some leftover meat for a little extra flavor and take it all outside. Then I come back inside and open the porch door to put Marvin outside. I get his crate cleaned, canned corn in a bowl, fresh water, some more parakeet seeds poured in his seed bowl and open the door to let him back in.
SO? I'm getting very sleepy and needing a shower to get the itchy cut hair off of me. And all these curls she put in my hair is going to go bye bye! An elderly lady came in as I was checking out wanting info on the salon. She saw me turn around and saw my hair down my back. She asked me: "Is all that your natural hair?" LOL I smiled and walked over to her. I ran my fingers thru my hair saying "yes it's all my own hair"! No extensions. She reached out to touch my hair and said "It's so soft and beautiful"! I thanked her and gave my salon gal all the credit for making it look so good!
TOD
I'm the walking/sitting half lidded person here!
First off and foremost! PCCharley! Did you by chance read any of the info on the link Cleanin posted? If not? Go read some of it! It's a real eye opener!
Blue! You need to behave yourself while your elder isn't around!
I haven't been here because: Monday morning around 8:00 am Jethro got up and saw my mom had called his cell phone. He called her back only to find out her Central Air unit wasn't running the fan. So he got ready and went over there. (There were three bolts that had vibrated loose and the fan was leaning sideways. He fixed it!) I stayed up to babysit Maria. He didn't get home until 1:00 PM. I went to bed at 2:30 PM! I woke up at 2:30 AM.
I sent my salon gal a text at 8:00 AM asking for time to get my hair done. She told me to come on! So I got ready and arrived at 9:30 AM. I left there at around 2:00 PM! I called mom about meeting us at our favorite Mexican food place. She said "Let me change my clothes and I'll be on my way". I picked Jethro up and we headed that way too.
We had a nice meal and then I said "Let's head on over to mom's for coffee"? And off we all went. We didn't leave mom's until 7:00 PM! We get home and I'm needing to get the dog fed, Marvin's cage cleaned and Maria's tomato cut up for her. I get the tomato out and start slicing it. I see Jethro come out of the bedroom and sit down with Maria. OH NO! That ain't going to happen. I say; can you come cut the tomato up for Maria? He gives me an attitude about wanting to spend time with his little girl that missed him! I turned from the counter and said "You can spend time with Maria for the rest of the night"! He grunts and groans getting off the couch! I head over to the dog food bag for Magnum's food. I cut up some leftover meat for a little extra flavor and take it all outside. Then I come back inside and open the porch door to put Marvin outside. I get his crate cleaned, canned corn in a bowl, fresh water, some more parakeet seeds poured in his seed bowl and open the door to let him back in.
SO? I'm getting very sleepy and needing a shower to get the itchy cut hair off of me. And all these curls she put in my hair is going to go bye bye!
An elderly lady came in as I was checking out wanting info on the salon. She saw me turn around and saw my hair down my back. She asked me: "Is all that your natural hair?" LOL I smiled and walked over to her. I ran my fingers thru my hair saying "yes it's all my own hair"! No extensions. She reached out to touch my hair and said "It's so soft and beautiful"! I thanked her and gave my salon gal all the credit for making it look so good!TOD
I wont say the word girlie very loud, but if you spent 4.5 hours in the salon we must wear the shoe if it fits. I need a picture of a cinderella shoe.
Do you have an ihop near you? I bet your mom would like that too. Your a good daughter and very cool you and your mom are close and can hang out together. You may have said this, bit do you or jethro have brothers or sisters around where you live? My sister and I are close, and I will hate it one day if we have to live far apart. I think shes also my best gf.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by PinkCloudsCharley
Oh! Wanted to say something about Toronto! I've never been there, personally - well, I've been in the airport for flight connections but never stepped out into the city itself, but H has been there and loved it. In fact, everyone I know who has been has loved it. I personally like going to the West Coast - BC, Vancouver, Victoria. I love the mountains and the ocean. There's really no where in Canada you could go that you wouldn't enjoy, but maybe I'm biased
Id like to see the natural, wilder part of canada one day too.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
I dont know if everyone knows about Paws. Sometimes I see people post on the substance forums and they act surprised when they hear of it. We learned through his rehab AND when he started having symptoms. It helped to put a name and explanation as to what was going on. Id think your H would pick it up from one of his meetings where it would be discussed.
Id probably print some things off and share when hes in a better mood. If hes got so much work this week I bet its all he can handle to focus on it and the pressure. But if he does good then it may help him feel a sense of accomplishment.
I think its ok for one person to be the planner and researcher type in the relationship because we all have things we do best. But with this stuff, I think it would feel frustrating because hes not acting on the research or doing his homework from the sessions. The question is how do you draw a line and say now Ive done my part and all my bases are covered, its up to him take action.
How do you deal with your feelings while you wait? This is a tough part too
I feel so bad for your daughter to dealing with someone her own age who committed suicide. Emotionally it has to be so hard. Maybe its because its publicized more now but you hear it happening way too often. I know its one reason the campaigns on anti bullying have increased. Makes me sad.
I see you Butter. Your going to melt in the Cali sun soon.
Id probably print some things off and share when hes in a better mood. If hes got so much work this week I bet its all he can handle to focus on it and the pressure. But if he does good then it may help him feel a sense of accomplishment.
I think its ok for one person to be the planner and researcher type in the relationship because we all have things we do best. But with this stuff, I think it would feel frustrating because hes not acting on the research or doing his homework from the sessions. The question is how do you draw a line and say now Ive done my part and all my bases are covered, its up to him take action.
How do you deal with your feelings while you wait? This is a tough part too
I feel so bad for your daughter to dealing with someone her own age who committed suicide. Emotionally it has to be so hard. Maybe its because its publicized more now but you hear it happening way too often. I know its one reason the campaigns on anti bullying have increased. Makes me sad.
I see you Butter. Your going to melt in the Cali sun soon.
RIP Maria
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: AR
Posts: 7,654
Hi everyone!
Just a few minutes here! I'm taking a break from working outside with Jethro. I walked outside with Maria in my arms and he told me to hold my hand out he had something for me! I posted a picture to show y'all!
Here's our other helper! He's working hard! I threw the old tarp down on the muddy area to walk on! Magnum found better use of it! LOL
TOD
Just a few minutes here! I'm taking a break from working outside with Jethro. I walked outside with Maria in my arms and he told me to hold my hand out he had something for me! I posted a picture to show y'all!
Here's our other helper! He's working hard! I threw the old tarp down on the muddy area to walk on! Magnum found better use of it! LOL
TOD
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Hope everyone is having a nice day! I am! But kids are home! Teachers Inservice. I planned to go to the grocery store last night. But by the time I got there the store was closed! Hubs had taken a detour to Home Depot after work. They had this huge plant sale. He came home with this box filled with plants. Ha ha! Potting soil too. I am happy he enjoys doing things after work and around the house. Those are two things he didn't used to do at his old job. He would come straight home and either sit in front of the tv looking depressed and like a shell of a man or go to bed and pass out. Now he is stopping off at places he's interested in like Home Depot, harbor freight, or the art store. But what I don't like is when he begins a project he a) does it in an inappropriate room or area. B) does it half-way. C) leaves a huge mess behind. Last night he repotted plants in the bathroom. Leaving dirty potting soil all over the place! Plus, a few are not done and sitting in the bathtub. I realize he ran out of time...but when I mentioned the dirt all over he said he'd clean it as soon as he gets home tonight. Ugh! He knows I can't look at that all day and will clean it myself! Then the day before that he was painting and was using my dinner plates to mix paint on. I told him he has a specific plate type thing just for that. He said, he can't find it. Hmm...I wonder why? Because you never put things back after using them....and you never throw anything away. So you have gobs of junk mixed together with those few useful things that you would be able to find if you didn't have so much stuff!
Ok rant over. On a very good note though. I am seeing a totally different hubs each evening and weekend! He is busy doing things he enjoys. He is making plans again. Every word out of his mouth isn't about this or that pain and/or how he's not going to be around much longer...and all that depressing death talk! Which, quite frankly effects me and probably the kids too. We are laughing and enjoying a lot more! Even we are sleeping at the same times more frequently. That I believe has really brought us closer. Sleeping together in the same bed at night. There were many nights when we slept separate because of one thing or another. I'm not sure that is good for our marriage?
What's your opinion? Do any of you think it's healthier for your relationship to sleep together or separate? Or does it matter one way or the other?
Ok rant over. On a very good note though. I am seeing a totally different hubs each evening and weekend! He is busy doing things he enjoys. He is making plans again. Every word out of his mouth isn't about this or that pain and/or how he's not going to be around much longer...and all that depressing death talk! Which, quite frankly effects me and probably the kids too. We are laughing and enjoying a lot more! Even we are sleeping at the same times more frequently. That I believe has really brought us closer. Sleeping together in the same bed at night. There were many nights when we slept separate because of one thing or another. I'm not sure that is good for our marriage?
What's your opinion? Do any of you think it's healthier for your relationship to sleep together or separate? Or does it matter one way or the other?
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