Class of August 2020 Part 1
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
I think I will join this month. I have been sober 19 days maybe 20. I never really thought it would stick im hoping it will. My daughter starts kindergarten this year. I don't want to be that drunk single guy that blames the world for my drinking. I am having problems feeling happy. Hoping it will pass not depressed just sad. Longest I think I have ever gone without a drink is probably 2 to 3 months. This time its different the sadness is a new feeling for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 344
Hey all! I've been dinking around on my own stringing together a week here or there and then falling off the wagon all summer, but I really need to get my act together again. I'm still so disappointed in myself that I put together a couple months last fall, was feeling really good and confident about it all, and then let one birthday party throw me off my game. And since then, while I'm not drinking all the time, I'm also not putting together more than a week or so here or there. It's always the same story. Binge drink one night, feel like crap the next day, have big motivations to pull it together this time, last a vague period of time, and then feel I deserve something to relax one night. Rinse and repeat. It's so insanely stupid. I even do the play it forward thing, and still manage to lie to myself that this time I'll "be good."
Anyhow, wrapping up day 1 here. Glad to see a few familiar names, RAL and Jewel. I really do want off this warped ride. I've got classes coming up in a few weeks, plus I picked up a part-time job this summer to help pay down my student loans, so I really want to go into this fall focused as I think it's going to be a challenge to maintain my GPA, do my increased class load, as well as juggle working part-time.
Anyhow, wrapping up day 1 here. Glad to see a few familiar names, RAL and Jewel. I really do want off this warped ride. I've got classes coming up in a few weeks, plus I picked up a part-time job this summer to help pay down my student loans, so I really want to go into this fall focused as I think it's going to be a challenge to maintain my GPA, do my increased class load, as well as juggle working part-time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Welcome Oldskate and congrats on 20 or so days. That’s great! I hope your sadness lifts with continued sobriety.
Hi Daria! Really good to see you back in class. I want off this warped ride too.
It was beginning to really ruin my body and spirit.
Wrapping up day 3. It was another challenging day, but I figured I better begin putting faith in this process and using the tools I’ve gained from this site. I am so thankful I chose not to drink today.
See you tomorrow.
Hi Daria! Really good to see you back in class. I want off this warped ride too.
It was beginning to really ruin my body and spirit. Wrapping up day 3. It was another challenging day, but I figured I better begin putting faith in this process and using the tools I’ve gained from this site. I am so thankful I chose not to drink today.
See you tomorrow.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Welcome back Daria and Oldskate.
Congrats on day 3 kittie & Jewel
4am here. Wide awake. Had some sleep but nothing substantial. I just woke up and my first thought was shock then relief that i didn't drink yesterday. I really can't believe it.Sounds silly but just getting day 1 in the bag has been so difficult. I don't mind not sleeping as know it will come in time. Just relieved I don't have the 4am pounding head, thirst, fear, racing thoughts what did I do last night, what did i say, who did I text, did I post on FB and on and on. Peace of mind and sleep are the 2 most profound things about sobriety for me. I do not know why I drink again
Congrats on day 3 kittie & Jewel
4am here. Wide awake. Had some sleep but nothing substantial. I just woke up and my first thought was shock then relief that i didn't drink yesterday. I really can't believe it.Sounds silly but just getting day 1 in the bag has been so difficult. I don't mind not sleeping as know it will come in time. Just relieved I don't have the 4am pounding head, thirst, fear, racing thoughts what did I do last night, what did i say, who did I text, did I post on FB and on and on. Peace of mind and sleep are the 2 most profound things about sobriety for me. I do not know why I drink again
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Welcome back Daria and Oldskate from me too. 
s ❤
I went through 'sadness' quite profoundly in my first month of sobriety in 2013....I clearly remember it to the point where I can still feel what it felt like.
Other people were talking about pink clouds and such and I thought where is mine? It's more like a rain cloud following me around. And then, maybe a month later, I suddenly noticed it had passed. It had been replaced by hope. Hope that has stayed in the past 7 years, through fear and illness and mistakes and all sorts of messy life bits....the heavy sadness is in my past now.
Huge hugs and love to all of you. s ❤❤
s ❤I went through 'sadness' quite profoundly in my first month of sobriety in 2013....I clearly remember it to the point where I can still feel what it felt like.
Other people were talking about pink clouds and such and I thought where is mine? It's more like a rain cloud following me around. And then, maybe a month later, I suddenly noticed it had passed. It had been replaced by hope. Hope that has stayed in the past 7 years, through fear and illness and mistakes and all sorts of messy life bits....the heavy sadness is in my past now.
Huge hugs and love to all of you.
s ❤❤
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Good morning!
RAL, There is such relief in waking up sober. I’ve been dreaming I have drunk the night before, so I’m extremely relieved to wake up sober.
Entering day 4. My pup woke me a little earlier than I would have liked, but that’s ok. My body is so tired. I’m going to give myself time to heal. I feel bad for what I put my organs through. Haven’t been able to run yet, but I’ll go walking this morning and maybe add back in a little jogging.
i must begin getting ready for the school year! There are books to order and supplies to be purchased, which I have put off the whole month of July due to drinking. Small too do lists though. I can’t risk getting overwhelmed. That’s what drives me to the wine.
I hope you all make this Monday a sober day. That’s what I’m going to work on. My support group meets tonight, so that will help me stay focused. I will not drink today.
RAL, There is such relief in waking up sober. I’ve been dreaming I have drunk the night before, so I’m extremely relieved to wake up sober.
Entering day 4. My pup woke me a little earlier than I would have liked, but that’s ok. My body is so tired. I’m going to give myself time to heal. I feel bad for what I put my organs through. Haven’t been able to run yet, but I’ll go walking this morning and maybe add back in a little jogging.
i must begin getting ready for the school year! There are books to order and supplies to be purchased, which I have put off the whole month of July due to drinking. Small too do lists though. I can’t risk getting overwhelmed. That’s what drives me to the wine.
I hope you all make this Monday a sober day. That’s what I’m going to work on. My support group meets tonight, so that will help me stay focused. I will not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 125
I’m going to try this too. It’s going to take some effort to stay on top of this. i went to my first online A.A. meeting online on Saturday morning. I though why not. I could mute my audio and video and just listen and watch and find out more.
walking into a room of strangers never would’ve happened. So now I’m looking for the right fit. The one on Saturday was a really awesome group though. I think they knew I was new because everyone else had checked out of the meeting and I realized I was the only one there with the veterans....
they kept talking and sharing and it made me feel pretty good.
I tried two others but didn’t feel as good a vibe.
I’m feeling pretty hopeful.
day 7 for me today.
have some reading in this group to catch up on.
B
walking into a room of strangers never would’ve happened. So now I’m looking for the right fit. The one on Saturday was a really awesome group though. I think they knew I was new because everyone else had checked out of the meeting and I realized I was the only one there with the veterans....
they kept talking and sharing and it made me feel pretty good.
I tried two others but didn’t feel as good a vibe.
I’m feeling pretty hopeful.
day 7 for me today.
have some reading in this group to catch up on.
B
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Originally Posted by BEELS 
I’m going to try this too. It’s going to take some effort to stay on top of this. i went to my first online A.A. meeting online on Saturday morning. I though why not. I could mute my audio and video and just listen and watch and find out more.
walking into a room of strangers never would’ve happened. So now I’m looking for the right fit. The one on Saturday was a really awesome group though. I think they knew I was new because everyone else had checked out of the meeting and I realized I was the only one there with the veterans....
they kept talking and sharing and it made me feel pretty good.
I tried two others but didn’t feel as good a vibe.
I’m feeling pretty hopeful.
day 7 for me today.
have some reading in this group to catch up on.
B
walking into a room of strangers never would’ve happened. So now I’m looking for the right fit. The one on Saturday was a really awesome group though. I think they knew I was new because everyone else had checked out of the meeting and I realized I was the only one there with the veterans....
they kept talking and sharing and it made me feel pretty good.
I tried two others but didn’t feel as good a vibe.
I’m feeling pretty hopeful.
day 7 for me today.
have some reading in this group to catch up on.
B
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 183
Hello everyone. I really need all the help I can get. I was doing well. I had over a month and was part of the feb 2020 group but after a month I told myself i had control and started drinking again. I got a dui in feb of 2020 and that was what kick started me into sobriety but like i said that only lasted one month. My life is good from the outside. But on the inside it is fraying for sure. My marriage is in trouble and we both drink, my son is having issues (he is 11) he hates when we drink. I hate myself when i do. I always tell myself IM DONE.This time its the truth but then a week later, month later i convince myself its okay. Everyone drinks right? I tell myself so many lies. I mean come on i went ti jail for my dui and i still went back to drinking. Its crazy just crazy. I feel stuck as well. No direction in life. I am not working right now as i got a inheritance from my father but i feel so stagnent and bored but i also feel like i cant work. I have such bad anxiety and cant seem to get my brain straight. Im a mess, gee i wonder why?!!! Anyway sorry im rambling. Much love to u all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Is that a new avatar letsdance? I love it. s
I guess for me I did so much damage that those thoughts telling me to drink again needed some serious challenging.....
I want to drink again.....I will be fine....it's OK.
Really? How is it OK?
Do I think I will be able to moderate?
When I know I can't and never have?
Isn't this the definition of insanity, repeating this over and over and expecting a different outcome?
I think it might be.
So what does my sane voice tell me?
Mine tells me that I can have a really good life that I love sober, and a really crappy one if I drink again.
sI guess for me I did so much damage that those thoughts telling me to drink again needed some serious challenging.....
I want to drink again.....I will be fine....it's OK.
Really? How is it OK?
Do I think I will be able to moderate?
When I know I can't and never have?
Isn't this the definition of insanity, repeating this over and over and expecting a different outcome?
I think it might be.
So what does my sane voice tell me?
Mine tells me that I can have a really good life that I love sober, and a really crappy one if I drink again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Hey everyone, on day 1 here after a terrible three day binge. Feeling a bit better as the day has gone on but need a good night sleep, only managed to eat a few biscuits so far. There's no question, I can't drink anymore, not that I needed further evidence.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 187
Hey everyone - relating to so much of what I'm reading from you all, as usual. And I'm just like you in my binge - feel awful - feel better - go back to it cycle, too. So here I am on another day 1, feeling an extra kind of crappy thanks to a new medication that seems to make my hangovers worse. I say new but I've already given myself several tries to see if I could drink on it without feeling the intense hangovers but it keeps happening so...yeah, insanity.
I know at this point I'm having a hard time with a spouse who just simply doesn't want to give up drinking. He is always rationalizing with me about how I can drink just one bottle or even a couple glasses of wine and I'm like yah right, when has that happened? Anyway, he's on board for this week with me so I figure that's a good start. I know he'll be ready to get back to drinking when it's done, so my hope is if I can make it through one week, I'll feel at least motivated enough to keep going.
Glad to see you all here.
I know at this point I'm having a hard time with a spouse who just simply doesn't want to give up drinking. He is always rationalizing with me about how I can drink just one bottle or even a couple glasses of wine and I'm like yah right, when has that happened? Anyway, he's on board for this week with me so I figure that's a good start. I know he'll be ready to get back to drinking when it's done, so my hope is if I can make it through one week, I'll feel at least motivated enough to keep going.
Glad to see you all here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
I have missed you darling dizzybee, and I was worried.....so very glad to see you today ❤️
It is really tough trying to do this when our partners are drinkers, especially daily drinkers.....but I am super-glad your husband is doing this week with you. And of course we are all here after that and always.....you know I always say "onwards together".....it is the only way I know how to do this.
So much love. xx ❤️
❤️It is really tough trying to do this when our partners are drinkers, especially daily drinkers.....but I am super-glad your husband is doing this week with you. And of course we are all here after that and always.....you know I always say "onwards together".....it is the only way I know how to do this.
So much love.
xx ❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,520
Originally Posted by letsdance
Hello everyone. I really need all the help I can get. I was doing well. I had over a month and was part of the feb 2020 group but after a month I told myself i had control and started drinking again. I got a dui in feb of 2020 and that was what kick started me into sobriety but like i said that only lasted one month. My life is good from the outside. But on the inside it is fraying for sure. My marriage is in trouble and we both drink, my son is having issues (he is 11) he hates when we drink. I hate myself when i do. I always tell myself IM DONE.This time its the truth but then a week later, month later i convince myself its okay. Everyone drinks right? I tell myself so many lies. I mean come on i went ti jail for my dui and i still went back to drinking. Its crazy just crazy. I feel stuck as well. No direction in life. I am not working right now as i got a inheritance from my father but i feel so stagnent and bored but i also feel like i cant work. I have such bad anxiety and cant seem to get my brain straight. Im a mess, gee i wonder why?!!! Anyway sorry im rambling. Much love to u all.
sI am so sorry that you have been through some very tough months.
Including the DUI and all of it.
I am also looking for where I go from here career-wise....and it is very strange right now....it is hard to make decisions around that with covid so terrifying in America. One thing at a time perhaps....
I drank again and again after very bad things happened.....very bad.....it is unfortunately the nature of this disease.
It isn't so easy to just say, ok, not doing that again.
But we can choose not to do it again and then we can build the tools to support that decision.
And it works....it did for me.
I would never have imagined that I would be on this site still 7 + years after first coming here.....that it would become a major part of my life and my no. 1 sobriety tool. But it is.
Lean in....we so get where you are right now and I am sure many SRs will be here with awesome advice and strategies.
❤️
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