Class of May 2019 Part One
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Day six I am here but I am not happy right now. I feel like drinking is the only way I feel beautiful and alive like I’m living my life. I know it’s a lie but this is what AV tells me. I could easily go out and drink right now but I don’t want to I know I keep getting so sick it’s unbearable. I will try aa tomorrow but aa isnt a cure all theres no quick fix for this. Sorry to sound so harsh and neg.
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Originally Posted by Dee74 
You need to build up some sober fun experiences LLG. Prove the AV wrong 
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Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 28
Hope everyone has a great weekend! Not much to report lately. Almost had a panic attack this afternoon. I was sitting there smoking after work and I started getting these sharp pains in my back and chest. I (ironically enough) suffer from horrible health anxiety. Ive been having these weird neurological and breathing issues since three years ago. Done blood work, ekg and even mris but nothing came up.
I still thinks something is wrong with me and my doctor just isnt catching it. Drinking helped quell most of the weird symptoms.
ANYWAYS, so Im sitting there thinking Im about to have a heart attack, that I was gonna die or pass out, like lying face first on my front porch, and they're gonna do a test or autopsy, finally find out what was causing my weird symptoms and be like, "Oh, you had -this- all along" Its crazy the direction my mind goes sometimes. Turns out it was just acid reflux or something I guess but I was kinda shook and so close to drinking again. Sorry for rambling, take care guys.
-Dean
I still thinks something is wrong with me and my doctor just isnt catching it. Drinking helped quell most of the weird symptoms.
ANYWAYS, so Im sitting there thinking Im about to have a heart attack, that I was gonna die or pass out, like lying face first on my front porch, and they're gonna do a test or autopsy, finally find out what was causing my weird symptoms and be like, "Oh, you had -this- all along" Its crazy the direction my mind goes sometimes. Turns out it was just acid reflux or something I guess but I was kinda shook and so close to drinking again. Sorry for rambling, take care guys.
-Dean
)Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 593
Good morning\evening all.
Welcome to sunbelle, h379, cloud1, and anyone I might have missed.
Travelbug you sound great. Good work, although "moving" the front lawn seems above the call of duty. Sorry, couldn't resist. My wife has had to mow our lawn while I'm away. She's a trooper and so are you.
LLG, I hope you can rekindle your interests. Last time I had good sobriety (2017) I got so much done! I want that again!
Day nine now. My eyes are no longer bloodshot, the bags under my eyes are easing up. I feel pretty calm again. i'm sleeping again. Relief is what it feels like. Why I might want to screw that up is a mystery. But I still feel it on a daily basis.
My mom's funeral is today. I hope to get back home by midweek. There's a lot left undone back home. My broken arm is getting better. Some know it resulted from a drunken fall, some don't. I just want to stay sober and move forward again.
Stay calm, stay sober, have a great weekend one and all.
Welcome to sunbelle, h379, cloud1, and anyone I might have missed.
Travelbug you sound great. Good work, although "moving" the front lawn seems above the call of duty. Sorry, couldn't resist. My wife has had to mow our lawn while I'm away. She's a trooper and so are you.
LLG, I hope you can rekindle your interests. Last time I had good sobriety (2017) I got so much done! I want that again!
Day nine now. My eyes are no longer bloodshot, the bags under my eyes are easing up. I feel pretty calm again. i'm sleeping again. Relief is what it feels like. Why I might want to screw that up is a mystery. But I still feel it on a daily basis.
My mom's funeral is today. I hope to get back home by midweek. There's a lot left undone back home. My broken arm is getting better. Some know it resulted from a drunken fall, some don't. I just want to stay sober and move forward again.
Stay calm, stay sober, have a great weekend one and all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 68
71 Days sober. I thought it was more than that. Feels like it should be more than that. My resolve is still strong but I have not been checking in here. I should be checking in here. I am home recuperating from a total hip replacement so no cravings at this time. Would be terribly foolish to drink now. I can see myself drinking and tripping and dislocating this new hip. Would be a disaster and painful. So there's that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Hi all! Day 8 here and it feels so, so good to wake up on a Saturday morning without a hangover. I have the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I want without the disabling anxiety and dread. I spent last Saturday indoors on a bright and beautiful day because of a hangover. I vowed to never let alcohol rob me of LIVING!!
How is everyone doing?
How is everyone doing?
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Thank you pelagic and bless you!
My goodness i need to stick around here, youre the folks that get it! The sleeplessness anxiety rage chest pains and gas 🙄 at least were not alone. Just finished a spanish lesson, loving those. Feeling a tad more optimistic. Early sobriety so i get it, moods change, wax and wane. I feel so ******* fragile, even eating the wrong food makes me feel like im dying now. I need to be super gentle with myself, like eat soup. I feel f*cked up from the inside out. My on again off again drug addict ex wanted to see me last night n i miss him too but i flaked on him hes mad i got mad we blocked eachother. That’s something that needs to stay stopped. It was a distraction and it wasnt real, it was destructive much like the alcohol. He thought i was with another guy but i was at home in pain from fried shrimp. Seen better days. Sigh.
My goodness i need to stick around here, youre the folks that get it! The sleeplessness anxiety rage chest pains and gas 🙄 at least were not alone. Just finished a spanish lesson, loving those. Feeling a tad more optimistic. Early sobriety so i get it, moods change, wax and wane. I feel so ******* fragile, even eating the wrong food makes me feel like im dying now. I need to be super gentle with myself, like eat soup. I feel f*cked up from the inside out. My on again off again drug addict ex wanted to see me last night n i miss him too but i flaked on him hes mad i got mad we blocked eachother. That’s something that needs to stay stopped. It was a distraction and it wasnt real, it was destructive much like the alcohol. He thought i was with another guy but i was at home in pain from fried shrimp. Seen better days. Sigh.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thinking of you Pelagic.
Hope tomorrow is better for you Livelikegold.
Congrats on 8 days kgirl and everyone else on your time.
spent 2 hours up a ladder today. Used muscles which have not been used in years. Getting going slowly with painting but I enjoy it and it keeps me focused. Having something to do works for me. Looking forward to getting up early in the morning, clear headed, ready to continue.
Good night all
RAL
Hope tomorrow is better for you Livelikegold.
Congrats on 8 days kgirl and everyone else on your time.
spent 2 hours up a ladder today. Used muscles which have not been used in years. Getting going slowly with painting but I enjoy it and it keeps me focused. Having something to do works for me. Looking forward to getting up early in the morning, clear headed, ready to continue.
Good night all
RAL
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
kremlin, any chance the chest pains are just stress? Basic stress, even without other anxiety symptoms, can certainly cause pressure in the chest. You mentioned acid reflux, which is a big cause of chest pains for me when I'm not sober.
Funny enough, my biggest cause for frequent chest pain is actually my spine. I've had neck and back issues for a long time due to car accidents. A lot of people think chiropractors are snake oil salesman (and a lot of them are), but a good one can be a life saver. If the upper spine, between the shoulder blades, is out of alignment, that pulls on the muscles and all that junk is connected. Now I can fix those pains myself each night with a foam roller. Lay the spine down the length of the foam roller and I hear the crack all the way up. Immediate relief. If your muscles are tight or knotted up, it's very difficult to do though. Maybe consider a deep tissue and give that a shot. Worst case you eliminate a structural issue, but get a massage in the process (not that deep tissue is particularly pleasant lol). Good luck.
Funny enough, my biggest cause for frequent chest pain is actually my spine. I've had neck and back issues for a long time due to car accidents. A lot of people think chiropractors are snake oil salesman (and a lot of them are), but a good one can be a life saver. If the upper spine, between the shoulder blades, is out of alignment, that pulls on the muscles and all that junk is connected. Now I can fix those pains myself each night with a foam roller. Lay the spine down the length of the foam roller and I hear the crack all the way up. Immediate relief. If your muscles are tight or knotted up, it's very difficult to do though. Maybe consider a deep tissue and give that a shot. Worst case you eliminate a structural issue, but get a massage in the process (not that deep tissue is particularly pleasant lol). Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
Hi everyone. My name is Elseware. This is not my first go around. SR helped me get off Vicodin about 6 years ago. I did ok. No more Vicodin. But I am now detoxing from Valium. This is hard. It’s not my body in pain so much as it is my mind. This is my 5th day with no Valium. This is my second time getting off Valium. I took 5 to 10mgs a day. I am also a not drinking alcoholic. I’ve been not drinking for about 13 years. Before that....too much. The anxiety and panic are coming over me in waves. I’m surfing thru them. Taking deep breaths and drinking water. This morning I took a walk. The insomnia and panic are hideous. I’m hoping to join you as a newcomer because the support and help I got on this forum helped me so much before and I’m willing to be here for you all. So hello to everyone especially you Dee. Just seeing your name soothes me.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Day One For Me
I am an alcoholic. This is the first time I've "said" those words. I have been drinking since for almost 20 years having survived well into adulthood without it. My Dad was an alcoholic and I never wanted to touch the stuff. Fast forward to a divorce from a non-drinker and remarriage to a "social drinker". Let the games begin. I am miserable. I am out of control. Day One. Let's change the game!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by Santi27
I'm in! This is my first time in this group, but my third serious attempt to give up. Today is day 3, and slightly more dangerous as it's a holiday here and tonight I'm going out to the theatre. So I'll commit to it now "Tonight I'm not going to have alcohol in the theatre bar."
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