Day six I am here but I am not happy right now. I feel like drinking is the only way I feel beautiful and alive like I’m living my life. I know it’s a lie but this is what AV tells me. I could easily go out and drink right now but I don’t want to I know I keep getting so sick it’s unbearable. I will try aa tomorrow but aa isnt a cure all theres no quick fix for this. Sorry to sound so harsh and neg.