Gabe's Thread
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
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Gabe's Thread
Hi Everyone....
I've been a member of SR since August 2017 and I've learned so much from this site and the people here. I am very grateful for that.
I'm having difficulty staying sober and have relapsed several times after 6-8 weeks. I becoming aware of why this is happening and I want to commit my all to getting and STAYING sober. My drinking is becoming more irratic and dangerous. I need to make recovery my number 1 priority. Not just now, on day 1 but everyday, or I will never make it past 8 weeks.
So here I am....broken and a bit frightened......on my last day 1. I commit to posting on this thread everyday and I appreciate all your support. Gabe xxx
I've been a member of SR since August 2017 and I've learned so much from this site and the people here. I am very grateful for that.
I'm having difficulty staying sober and have relapsed several times after 6-8 weeks. I becoming aware of why this is happening and I want to commit my all to getting and STAYING sober. My drinking is becoming more irratic and dangerous. I need to make recovery my number 1 priority. Not just now, on day 1 but everyday, or I will never make it past 8 weeks.
So here I am....broken and a bit frightened......on my last day 1. I commit to posting on this thread everyday and I appreciate all your support. Gabe xxx
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think this thread is a very good idea. How about joining in some of the other ongoing threads as well? Like the Class of July, the 24 Hour thread, the One Year and Under thread, Weekenders, or the many other special interest threads like gardening, sports, motorcycles, recipes, or whatever you fancy.
It has to be the first thing I think about and the last thing every day. My sobriety is the most important thing I have - but it's like a fragile flower at times in the beginning and has to be nurtured.
For me, this is a daily discipline. Don't pick up a first drink, keep my side of the road swept clean of resentments and other destructive emotions, and try to stay in this moment.
It has to be the first thing I think about and the last thing every day. My sobriety is the most important thing I have - but it's like a fragile flower at times in the beginning and has to be nurtured.
For me, this is a daily discipline. Don't pick up a first drink, keep my side of the road swept clean of resentments and other destructive emotions, and try to stay in this moment.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by biminiblue 
I think this thread is a very good idea. How about joining in some of the other ongoing threads as well? Like the Class of July, the 24 Hour thread, the One Year and Under thread, Weekenders, or the many other special interest threads like gardening, sports, motorcycles, recipes, or whatever you fancy.
It has to be the first thing I think about and the last thing every day. My sobriety is the most important thing I have - but it's like a fragile flower at times in the beginning and has to be nurtured.
For me, this is a daily discipline. Don't pick up a first drink, keep my side of the road swept clean of resentments and other destructive emotions, and try to stay in this moment.
It has to be the first thing I think about and the last thing every day. My sobriety is the most important thing I have - but it's like a fragile flower at times in the beginning and has to be nurtured.
For me, this is a daily discipline. Don't pick up a first drink, keep my side of the road swept clean of resentments and other destructive emotions, and try to stay in this moment.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi Gabe. I also think your thread is a good idea, along with BB's suggestion of participating in some of the other forums. Just recently I have started to branch out to other forums other than the 24hr and Newcomers. I am really enjoying it and find it further reinforces my sobriety.
Congratulations on declaring your last Day 1.
Congratulations on declaring your last Day 1.
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Thanks Rar. I have really looked into the rest of SR properly. I think I'm going to post on the weekend thread as my cravings have been really bad the last couple of weekends but it would also be good to join something fun!
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Day 2
Feeling horrible, genuinely awful. Scared and emotional. Second night of very little sleep but made it to work. I have good friends here who make me laugh so it's better than being alone.
I want the fear to last but I am aware that it doesn't. I need to be prepared for for when I start to feel ok again. I am going to write a letter to myself explaining how I have felt and am feeling now. I really never, ever want to go through this again.
I spend most of yesterday making my way through Rational Recovery and feel ready (finally) to make my Big Plan. AVRT makes so much sense to me but my AV is so subtle and insidious at times, that I don't always catch it. Practice needed. Fear fulled action. Lots of fear.
I'm so grateful to be able to come hear.
Have a good day everyone xx
Feeling horrible, genuinely awful. Scared and emotional. Second night of very little sleep but made it to work. I have good friends here who make me laugh so it's better than being alone.
I want the fear to last but I am aware that it doesn't. I need to be prepared for for when I start to feel ok again. I am going to write a letter to myself explaining how I have felt and am feeling now. I really never, ever want to go through this again.
I spend most of yesterday making my way through Rational Recovery and feel ready (finally) to make my Big Plan. AVRT makes so much sense to me but my AV is so subtle and insidious at times, that I don't always catch it. Practice needed. Fear fulled action. Lots of fear.
I'm so grateful to be able to come hear.
Have a good day everyone xx
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Welcome to Day 2! You can do this! I'd run to SR when I had my cravings. I'd post, or make a thread, just a place to vocalize (in words) my feelings and SR would carry me through it.
You got this!
You got this!
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 278
Gabe, hey, it sounds like you've got the beginnings of a great plan. I'd suggest you keep doing what you just did, which is to come here and post how you are feeling. Especially in times when the AV is talking.
If you're in doubt about your ability to shout down your AV, or if you're in doubt about whether it's the one doing the talking, come here and throw the question to the forum. How do you feel? What's going on?
You can get some good feedback, and that can help your head stay clear in times of doubt and stress.
Best of luck!
If you're in doubt about your ability to shout down your AV, or if you're in doubt about whether it's the one doing the talking, come here and throw the question to the forum. How do you feel? What's going on?
You can get some good feedback, and that can help your head stay clear in times of doubt and stress.
Best of luck!
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 7
Congrats on Day 2! I completely understand what you wrote about the fear not lasting. It's amazing how short-term our memories can be. I can't tell you how many times I've vowed to never touch alcohol again in the depths of a hangover only to pick up a drink just days later. If you recall, I wrote on my thread that it's around Day 4 that I start getting cravings. Let's both try to get through this week!
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Originally Posted by Radix
Gabe, hey, it sounds like you've got the beginnings of a great plan. I'd suggest you keep doing what you just did, which is to come here and post how you are feeling. Especially in times when the AV is talking.
If you're in doubt about your ability to shout down your AV, or if you're in doubt about whether it's the one doing the talking, come here and throw the question to the forum. How do you feel? What's going on?
You can get some good feedback, and that can help your head stay clear in times of doubt and stress.
Best of luck!
If you're in doubt about your ability to shout down your AV, or if you're in doubt about whether it's the one doing the talking, come here and throw the question to the forum. How do you feel? What's going on?
You can get some good feedback, and that can help your head stay clear in times of doubt and stress.
Best of luck!
I think I finally get how to use this forum properly. Duh!......it's about time. I'm making it my business to know my AV the way it knows me. Intimately and with an agenda to destroy.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Originally Posted by dunc88
Congrats on Day 2! I completely understand what you wrote about the fear not lasting. It's amazing how short-term our memories can be. I can't tell you how many times I've vowed to never touch alcohol again in the depths of a hangover only to pick up a drink just days later. If you recall, I wrote on my thread that it's around Day 4 that I start getting cravings. Let's both try to get through this week!
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
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Big Plan made 
I've been reading reading about it the last week and the words just fell out of me today. I had planned on doing this when I got home but I was walking along the road and it was just time to say it. Today is the first day I have felt a genuine rage at alcohol. I don't know why as lots of awful things have happened but I suppose it was like it was my fault, there was nothing wrong with the booze. There is EVERYTHING wrong with it.
I just need to make it my business to know my AV inside out, to catch it at it's first whisper and to beat it into submission.
Thank you everyone for your posts. It's a great relief to know I won't feel like this again. It truly has been a frightening few days. Love Gabe xxx
I've been reading reading about it the last week and the words just fell out of me today. I had planned on doing this when I got home but I was walking along the road and it was just time to say it. Today is the first day I have felt a genuine rage at alcohol. I don't know why as lots of awful things have happened but I suppose it was like it was my fault, there was nothing wrong with the booze. There is EVERYTHING wrong with it.
I just need to make it my business to know my AV inside out, to catch it at it's first whisper and to beat it into submission.
Thank you everyone for your posts. It's a great relief to know I won't feel like this again. It truly has been a frightening few days. Love Gabe xxx
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Join Date: Aug 2007
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Gabe - I love the idea of writing a letter describing the misery you've gone through. Time does dim the memory of how horrible it was. We can never forget. Congrats on Day 2 - very proud of you. 
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