PalmerSage

I can completely empathize, and totally understand how stuck you must feel. The key is to commit, here and now, that you won't drink TODAY. Or if today seems too long, then for the next hours, minutes, whatever...and then come back and post again. I recall that you had some good sober time in the bank before something happened, right? You absolutely will be back there, but don't focus on anything beyond now and the immediate future. Build on the tiniest blocks possible. You can do this, and we are here for you.

ProfessorD

Almost done with day 1. Thanks for the kind words, all. I have felt rough all day. And guilty. It seems like I've had my fair share of second chances I don't deserve.

One day at a time.

KG77

Me too ProfessorD. Glad to have a friend to do this with. It's 507 pm my time, so in just a few more hours I will be through (yet another) day 1 . I want this one to be the last one.

PalmerSage

Good for you!!! Is it almost bedtime? Do you have any sweets in the house?

Dee74

Everyone deserves a second chance

D

JustTony

Prof - it’s going to be great having you in the April class. I’ve always enjoyed your insights and posts.

JT

Sophie11

I’m really struggling today too and appreciate being able to read others in the same boat. Not that I’m glad others are struggling, obviously. But it’s good to not feel so alone. I’m jet lagged after two weeks work trip in Asia and depressed. Want a drink and feel like a failure for it. Feeling anxious and overwhelmed and just... blurgh...

LadyBug66

You have to want sobriety more than alcohol (or whatever your addiction is). After a week of total misery in my sobriety I started looking at my triggers. Once I recognized them I started to plan ahead of them on things to do. My husband still drinks everyday and it was hard seeing him drink every night but I got myself busy doing other things. It is so hard to beat this but I know you can do this and you will feel so much better about everything! Come here often and read and post and chat. That is something that saved my ass more than once! Hang in there friend, you got this!

ProfessorD

Thanks, friends--new and old. I'm on day 2. I won't drink today, but I'm not feeling well. I need to get a run in somehow to get those endorphins running again. But I don't have the energy. Haven't felt this low in a long time.

J50

The good news is that this is the worst you will feel if you let yourself heal.

Be kind to yourself!

The slips can offer insight into what didn't work, so reassess and rework your plan.

Ladysadie

Don't be too hard on yourself. Day 2 right? You'll get through this. Small steps, rest, meditate. Get busy. No marathons for a while, Lordy. Read a good book if you have some down time. Watch some Netflix. Garden. Buy a bird feeder or hummingbird feeder. Bring some joy into your life. Be good to yourself.

PalmerSage

Day 2, woohoo! Way better than 1 and especially zero. It sounds like it would be great to get in some light exercise, but if you aren't feeling it, you will be soon enough. Show yourself some kindness.

ProfessorD

I've been in bed all day again. Not even hung over, just...feeling low. I ate junk food and haven't gone for a run like I planned. I know it's all good because I'm not drinking but...what a low bar for existence. I feel like such a loser and uncomfortable in my own skin. Plus I'm wallowing in self-pity, apparently. Really wish I could be an entirely different person. I don't want these problems, I don't want this struggle. I don't want to be a waste of a person.

Hevyn

You're trying to get back on your feet, ProfessorD - be patient with yourself as you regain your sobriety. It always feels miserable in the early days. The idea of you being a waste is ridiculous - I've read your posts - it's not possible.

Nonsensical

I find life much more fulfilling since I've embraced the struggle.
I was a much bigger waste as a struggle avoider.

Working on the problem is unproductive.
Working on the solution will get you much better results.

Bet of Luck on Your Journey.

Dee74

I hope you'll feel a little better tomorrow ProfD

D

ProfessorD

I finally dragged myself out on what must have been the slowest, lamest run ever to be run by any woman on earth in the course of human history. But I do feel a bit better already, even though there's no way that run can offset the junk food I ate

Ladysadie

So Professor D, you are can start your Day 1 from Junk Food! You almost qualified for a 2-fer!

Rar

As Palmer Sage points out, "Day 2 is better than Day 1". Glad you got your run in and glad you're feeling a bit better, if only marginally. Tomorrow will be better. Hang in there. .

columbus

"It seems like I've had my fair share of second chances I don't deserve."

Luckily for us it's not up to us how many chances we get!