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Can't climb out of this hole

Old 06-05-2018, 04:27 AM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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3 weeks today. Longest I've had since my 51 days back in Jan/Feb. It's very up and down, day to day. But I think overall, I'm stronger. Last time I had a bit of a "pink cloud" going on.

This time I'm banking on "slow and steady wins the race."


Edited to add: out of the 155 days this year so far, I have been sober for more than half of them when I add all my sober days up. VERY VERY happy about that, even if I only have 3 weeks right now
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Old 06-05-2018, 04:32 AM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the reminder. ODAAT is the best I can do these summer days. I will not drink today. I will take it slow and steady. I will make it and great sober day!
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Old 06-06-2018, 04:06 PM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 3 weeks Prof

D
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Old 06-06-2018, 05:18 PM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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Professor D, that's GREAT!!!

Keep it going.....slow but sure.....



Free
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Old 06-06-2018, 07:33 PM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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Great to find the positives!

Double down. Keep driving it. Build on small wins...

-B
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Old 06-09-2018, 04:21 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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25 days today. When I'm drinking, I wake up and the first thought in my head is "what the F is wrong with me?" Then there is a whole day of self-loathing and self-hating talk in my head. I do not miss it. Today I chose sobriety.
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Old 06-09-2018, 09:33 AM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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ProfD, you are an inspiration. I adopted your tactic of averaging. In the 15 months since I joined SR, a little over a half were sober, which pleasantly surprised me. The median came out to be 14-16 as well, another surprise.

I also embraced a strict no carb diet to get into ketosis and burn some of the "love handles" that I personally don't feel the love for. If I gain momentum on an "all in" (no alcohol, no carbs) approach I find it helps me stay the course. And the protein helps stabilize my mood. Given my pain, exercise is currently not an option.

Similarly, I also try to hold onto the idea that just because I feel one way now doesn't mean I will feel that way later. I wake with a lot of anxiety, dread, and jaw pain and I have to remind myself that if I take my meds, in awhile the pain will be less, and if I get up, my perspective will shift.

The pain does lessen after awhile, but with no current job, getting out of bed is like trying to escape the event horizon of a black hole. Every day. If my doggie dog didn't start being restless I'd probably never get up (or out as she gets me outside most days to walk her).

25 days is grand. 13 for me. Look back over your shoulder on the road we're traveling, I'm waving...
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Old 06-09-2018, 09:39 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Prof- yes! Keep it moving.

Ketosis and intermitten fasting here as well - whatever gets us through.
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Old 06-09-2018, 11:42 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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Thanks, argillaceous! I love that we are sober buddies! Sounds like you are doing wonderful things. I'm inspired by you too

And you, less!

Keto really helps, doesn't it?
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Old 06-09-2018, 12:35 PM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 3 weeks!!!
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Old 06-11-2018, 06:47 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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As I get more sober, I feel like I am flushing out a great amount of self-pity and self-centeredness. Feels good
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Old 06-13-2018, 05:14 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ProfessorD View Post
25 days today. When I'm drinking, I wake up and the first thought in my head is "what the F is wrong with me?" Then there is a whole day of self-loathing and self-hating talk in my head. I do not miss it. Today I chose sobriety.
Goodness this is so relatable. Stay strong.
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Old 06-13-2018, 05:26 AM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ProfessorD View Post
Thanks, argillaceous! I love that we are sober buddies! Sounds like you are doing wonderful things. I'm inspired by you too

And you, less!

Keto really helps, doesn't it?
I'm excited for you, and me - this is the better life.

Love keto but in fact I find myself digging intermittent fasting even more these days. Results and mental clarity have been awesome.
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Old 06-13-2018, 05:58 AM
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Hey LG - can you explain intermittent fasting that you’re doing? My mental clarity is pretty foggy right now. I don’t really have weight to lose, but would love to gain some mental clarity. Lol.
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Old 06-13-2018, 06:24 AM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Behappy1 View Post
Hey LG - can you explain intermittent fasting that youíre doing? My mental clarity is pretty foggy right now. I donít really have weight to lose, but would love to gain some mental clarity. Lol.
Sure, without giving any medical advice, it's a means of fasting within an eating window. So for example, you eat within an 8 hour window, and fast, just don't eat, within the remaining 16 hours. Over time you can reduce the eating window - right now I'm on a 20:4 fasting schedule, eating within an 4 hour window and fasting the remaining 20. Lots of good resources if you Google or check reddit.
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Old 06-13-2018, 06:36 AM
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Thank you!! I can go without eating. I don’t know how I programmed myself to do that. Maybe college, working a ton? I haven’t had 3 square meals in decades. Maybe one solid meal a day? What do you drink during the fasting window? Just h20??
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Old 06-18-2018, 03:33 PM
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My self-esteem is in the gutter the last couple of days, though I don't know why. I'm doing better than I have in months...and yet I just feel alone and unworthy. A few days ago, I felt really strong and determined but my confidence vanished suddenly. I wish there was a way to sustain positivity. Maybe I'll google some new techniques. Once again, I'm wallowing in the frustration of how hard and taxing staying sober is. It's a full time job.
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Old 06-18-2018, 03:48 PM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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I hear you ProfD, itís up and down alright. I had a tough day yesterday. Today is looking a bit brighter. For now. My moods are all over the place. Feeling great one minute and despondent the next. I just keep reminding myself, this too shall pass. Itís a tough road but I keep reminding myself of the damage Iíve been doing for the last 35 years 😳😳😳 my poor body has somehow carried me through it and I owe it to myself to stay sober. I just keep trying to find new healthy ways to ďrewardĒ myself....
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