Finally going to ask for help - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-29-2017, 11:45 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 15

Finally going to ask for help


Okay, so first time posting on this site have been lurking around on here for 2-3 years now. Reading through stories that have helped me not feel so isolated in my addiction. I’m a 29year old woman who has been struggling with addiction to alcohol for the last 4-5 years and no longer want to live this way. My quit day is 12/1/17. I have had many quit days in the past and have never made it past probably 3 weeks sober …. However at any rate I’m now ready for a change, alcohol has caused many negative affects in my life and I’m ready to leave this beast behind. I use to have such thick curly beautiful hair…never put it together a few years back when my hair began to get so dry and brittle that it was from the alcohol. I’ve also recently put on 20 pounds in a few short months…though my increase in carbs is largely to blame for this alcohol is of absolutely no help. I’ve been debating on weather to do rehab…..or get just get a therapist and try to kick the habit on my own….. I haven’t yet decided. For sure I know that depression has recently been a big monkey on my back…. some days I find it extremely difficult to leave the house or even get out of bed. On top of this I have been drinking a lot more recently and even called of off work today because I was to hungover….and my brain felt too foggy to be able to accomplish and productive task…. plus I was experiencing anxiety like crazy.…. ☹ I may try to schedule a rehab assessment soon…. I just feel like Im cheating myself in life right now by coming home most nights and drinking myself to a somber…. I’m at the place in my life where I should be living my best life…but instead I’ve let alcohol ruin it. Hopefully I can change that soon. Any encouragement, support or words or wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.
sweetiepie32 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to sweetiepie32 For This Useful Post:
Anna (11-30-2017), Berrybean (11-30-2017), Dee74 (11-30-2017), Delilah1 (11-30-2017), JoeCree (11-30-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017), MythOfSisyphus (12-01-2017), Palmer (11-30-2017), StartingOverNW (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 01:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,819
Blog Entries: 2
Hi. Glad you're posting.

If rehab assessment is an option, why not just go do that and see if you get offered a place. You can then take it from there. Many people do their rehab, and then use counsellors and / or AA when they come home and need to learn how to apply what they've learned to life and relationships and 'stuff'.

Please don't spend too long procrastinating about it, as this will just drag things out, and addiction has a nasty habit of upping its anti when we begin to push back against it.

I wish you all the best whatever route you decide on.

BB
__________________
There is a saying: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. And this step is simple, this is the point when we decide to put down the shovel and assess how deep the hole really is.
Berrybean is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Berrybean For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017), StartingOverNW (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 07:30 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
red3215's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 293
Blog Entries: 1
Hi Sweetiepie32....Why not make your quit day today? I know it's scary. Maybe you feel that you can't make it through life without alcohol but it's clearly making your life worse not better, and that's why you want to stop.
Alcoholism is progressive and gradually just gets more and more destructive. My last year of drinking I managed to cut back quite a bit on the amount I was drinking, but my slip up behavior was worse than ever. I got arrested four times and had never been to jail before that year.
I think there needs to be some kind of plan in place that you can work at and devote yourself to each day while you sober up. Treat this like the life threatening illness that it is and go all out, making sobriety your most important goal of each day. It used to really help me to get on this forum first thing in the morning. Don't let fear hold you back. Alcoholism is so much scarier than living sober, without a doubt. You deserve much better than this
__________________
Sobriety date: December 4, 2015

No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worry can change the future.
red3215 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to red3215 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017), Palmer (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 07:40 AM   #4 (permalink)
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 15,964
Welcome Sweetiepie, good job on reaching out for help. I would agree with all the other advice given already - the best time to do this is now, and the best way to go about it is to try any options available. Waiting until a particular date to quit or ruling out options before you have even tried them is your addiction dragging it's feet.

SR is a fantastic place for support and can be a supplement to any sort of recovery program you might follow. Some even use the site as a primary form of support. The bottom line though is you have to make a plan and work on it every day- whether it's meeting based, rehab, outpatient, self help, therapy - or any combination. The physical act of quitting drinking is very important too, but it's only the very beginning of the process.
ScottFromWI is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ScottFromWI For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), Palmer (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 07:44 AM   #5 (permalink)
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: eastern USA
Posts: 80,650
Blog Entries: 32
Welcome to the family. I hope the awesome support here can help you get sober for good.
__________________
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

least is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to least For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 08:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
The opposite of addiction is connection.
 
PinnacleOR's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 343
Why wait? Saying you’re stopping later is your alcoholic voice buying more time, IMHO.

The biggest mistake I’ve made in my many attempts at sobriety is trying to do it myself and not asking for help early and often. I’m on Day 34 now and asking others for help has been the biggest difference. You can do it!
PinnacleOR is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to PinnacleOR For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 11:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,560
Getting help is crucial.

If rehab is a possibility for you, I strongly suggest you take advantage of it. It was life-changing for me, but like anything else, it works if you work it.

Make that your quit day, but don't delay. Get your assessment ASAP while you're feeling strong and motivated.
MindfulMan is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MindfulMan For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 12:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 15
Hello Everyone

Thank you so much for reading my post, replying, and sending me words of support it means so much to at this time . I decided that I am going to attempt to get into a rehab program possibly outpatient and take things from there. I have thought about it in the past but was not ready to completely give up drinking and have been to embarrassed about people finding out that I need rehab and how this might reflect on me..... Ive decided that at this point that is the least of my worries...I just want to be healthy. I will also use this posting board in my recovery it seems to be an excellent resource as well. I had a quick question about rehab for anyone that has any knowledge of how it works. I had placea a call to this treatment facility in my area I had found online, they seemed well put together plus a saw a few positive comments online from patients that had been to the facility, during my initial phone call before I could get done asking questions about the establishment the receptionist was eager to get my insurance information. This was a really big turnoff for me and I told her I would bring in my insurance card when I come in for the assessment. She agreed, five min later I received a phone call back from her letting me know that I would need to bring in $250 cash for the initial assessment she had looked up my insurance in the system and it will not be able to cover the entire program.... fair enough, but the vibe I was getting from her was very uncompassionate and money oriented when she called me back that was frustrating to me so I cancelled the intake and told her I would get back to her......at any another time. I guess I'm wondering if I was overreacting or is it typical for facilities to run insurance right away and let you know they will need payment up front?.... I guess I could always try to look for another facility. But the location of this one would work well for me.

Again thanks everyone for their replies, feedback and support.
sweetiepie32 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sweetiepie32 For This Useful Post:
Anna (11-30-2017), Dee74 (11-30-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 01:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,846
I've never been to rehab(my exw went),but it seems like most of the medical field is very money driven,especially if you have insurance. $250 is nothing to pay to get a good start on sobriety though. Also, I'm sure they run your insurance beforehand to let you know exactly what you're looking at before coming in.
__________________
'Dumb' it down as much as you can....makes it WAYYYY easier!!
DontRemember is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DontRemember For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 01:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,819
Blog Entries: 2
I'd have thought it would be fairly typical. I suppose you need to know what its going to cost if the insurance doesn't cover it all in case you don't have it and need to find it from somewhere. And as for getting payment up front - well, considering the field we're looking at that seems only sensible to me. I haven't met many alcoholics who come to recovery without outstanding bills after all.

When we're anxious we can take things awfully personally. It can be hard to remember that this is what that lady does day in and day out. If that's the way they do it then it is. It's not a personal slight. Just try to keep your eye on the prize. Sobriety. Recovery. Serenity. New life.

BB
__________________
There is a saying: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. And this step is simple, this is the point when we decide to put down the shovel and assess how deep the hole really is.
Berrybean is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Berrybean For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 02:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 52,059
Welcome!

I didn't go to rehab so I don't have advice on that. I do understand they are all different from each other, so asking question would be key.

Depression and anxiety can be caused by alcohol or made worse by alcohol. Stopping drinking should help things to improve, and if not, you might consider talking to your dr at some point.

I do hope you continue to read and post.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), Delilah1 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 02:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 179,238
Blog Entries: 1
Hi and welcome sweetpie

Never been to rehab but I'd probably deal with it the same way as I do with any other substantial expenditure - shop around and find the thing/place right for me

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 05:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
And as for getting payment up front - well, considering the field we're looking at that seems only sensible to me. I haven't met many alcoholics who come to recovery without outstanding bills after all.

When we're anxious we can take things awfully personally. It can be hard to remember that this is what that lady does day in and day out. If that's the way they do it then it is. It's not a personal slight. Just try to keep your eye on the prize. Sobriety. Recovery. Serenity. New life.

BB
This is very true and the first part of your reply made me chuckle thank you for the perspective.....
sweetiepie32 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to sweetiepie32 For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (12-01-2017), Delilah1 (11-30-2017), Kachal (12-01-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 06:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
JoeCree's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 513
Good luck on your day 1 starting tomorrow! The best advice i can give you is to stick to this website as much and as often as possible, especially if you do it alone. There are years of threads and advice that can help you through any situation your life will throw at you.
Welcome.
JoeCree is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JoeCree For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017), sweetiepie32 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 07:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
rascalwhiteoak's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 612
Blog Entries: 1
Hi sweetiepie. You're tackling this at a great age. I knew in my mid-twenties I had a problem, but never took action until earlier this year ... at 40. That being said, I'm in a better place now mentally and physically than I was through most of my twenties. Post here, see a therapist, do rehab, throw any and all of it at the wall and see what sticks. It's worth it
__________________
Forward.
rascalwhiteoak is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to rascalwhiteoak For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017), Kachal (12-01-2017), MindfulMan (12-01-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 08:55 PM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 588
I went the rehab route - it was scary at first but so worth it. Yes, they do want to get payment and insurance handled early.

I did Night Intensive Outpatient. 3 hours a night, 3 nights a week, for 12 weeks, plus 2 meetings per week. It seemed like a lot going into it, but I honestly looked forward to it after about the second week. It was great to still live a normal life during the day, but get a strong foundation for recovery at the same time.

My facility offers free weekly aftercare once you graduate, and I have been going with a fellow recent graduate every week. I love it.

If you go into it with willingness, open mindedness, and honesty, you can get everything you want out of it. Take the suggestions, do what they say, stay motivated, and life improves quickly in more ways than just abstainence.

Good luck!
axeman5971 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to axeman5971 For This Useful Post:
Delilah1 (11-30-2017)
Old 11-30-2017, 10:17 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 11,334
Welcome to SR! This is a wonderfully supportive community, and most of us found it feeling exactly like you are right now.

This site has been one of the biggest parts of my recovery I read and post here daily, and it really helps. The monthly classes are a great place to connect with others who have decided to commit or recommit to sobriety this month, and add just started one for December. Another one of my favorites is the 24 hour thread, it is a great place to check in each day and make the commitment to 24 hours.

I am copying links to both of these threads, as well as a link about recovery plans.

December Class 2017
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-1-a.html (Class of December 2017 Support Thread Pt. 1)

Link about Recovery Plans
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

24 Hour Thread
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-321-a.html (24 Hour Recovery Connection Part 321)

You can do this!!!
__________________
Delilah

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
― Ernest Hemingway

Sobriety Date: January 1, 2016
Delilah1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Delilah1 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-30-2017), DontRemember (11-30-2017)
Old 12-01-2017, 01:22 AM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 
grayghost1965's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 425
If your state/county (if you're in the USA) has a local health department, they will usually not charge for an assessment, and will bill you on a sliding scale according to income.

Another option, if you're afraid of physical withdrawal, is to be seen at your local emergency room.
grayghost1965 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2017, 07:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 15
Hello Everyone,

Just deciding to check in on my first official day of sobriety……I have the weekend off so it will be a bit of a challenge to stay sober seeing as weekends were one of the fuels for my drinking benders that would last 2-3 days and leave me feeling very s****y, but today I start the journey of reclaiming my life. I’m looking forward to a good nights rest and some energy to get things done for myself over the weekend. … the house cleaned, some grocery shopping done and possibly even a workout in…... instead of the all day wine drinking combined with 1-2 bad meals I had become accustom during my days off. Ill also be on here a lot posting and reading other post...so please feel free to stop by with words of wisdom and encouragement. Think ill keep away from doing any late night outings right now, my spirit still feels kinda low and In not ready to talk to my friends about my decision to stop drinking quite yet (partly being that Im sure their tired of hearing me make promises to cut back….only to go out and watch me drink myself into a stupor again).. I’m in bit better spirits today than I was earlier in the week though….going to take this sobriety thing one day at a time. I’m still working on putting together a recovery plan for myself….but until then my number one goal is to stay sober.

Happy Friday and Happy December 1st!

Thanks again for reading.
sweetiepie32 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to sweetiepie32 For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (12-02-2017), Dee74 (12-02-2017), mnjen (12-02-2017), rascalwhiteoak (12-01-2017)
Old 12-01-2017, 07:56 PM   #20 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,560
Keep up the not drinking part.

Since you're not taking the rehab route, nor gotten a therapist, and are more concerned about what your friends will think, what is your plan to get and stay sober? You said you've struggled to stop for 4-5 years now. What are you going to do differently this time?
MindfulMan is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MindfulMan For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (12-02-2017)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:21 PM.