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A question that has probably been asked a million times before....

Old 06-19-2017, 09:27 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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If I could moderate with one or two, I never would have given up drinking in the first place. How about you?
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:34 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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If I could have, I would have... a long time ago.

How many people do you know think they get their virginity back after a year of abstinence? For whatever reason, we alcoholics are prone to think that logic applies to our drinking.

The insane part of it is to see how quickly people revert back (and beyond) where they left off when they quit drinking. One to two weeks is pretty common from what I've seen in seven years of sobriety. You got sober for a reason, are you willing to bet your life on this "one or two beer" thing? Because that's exactly what it amounts to.
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:51 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I was trying moderation for the last few years of my drinking. Most of the time I got it right, a few times I got it very, very wrong. But the main thing, and the reason I ultimately decided to quit, was that moderation involved a huge amount of effort. I had to time when I went out so the pubs would shut before I had too many. I would obsess about alcohol all the time. Counting units, checking how strong different beers were to see how many I could manage and stay in my limit. And even with all that work, I'd still get it wrong. A pub would have an unexpected late license and no way I'd stop once I'd already had a few. And the rules went out the window on work trips with some disasters there.

And the real kicker? I drank because I wanted to be drunk. All that work to stop myself from getting the one thing I was drinking to get. What was the point?

So I quit. Two years ago. And I'm way, way happier now. My life is dramatically better in so many different and unexpected ways.

So can you moderate? Who knows. We've all heard rumours about the mythical former heavy drinker who now enjoys one or two every now and then. Never seen it myself, but that doesn't mean it's just a fairy tale. But I'd ask myself why I wanted to moderate. For me, it would just bring stress and tension into my life for no benefit whatsoever. And if you try to moderate and turns out you can't what do you stand to lose? Besides everything, that is.
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:07 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Soon as I tried to moderate it after any period of sobriety, my thoughts become consumed with drinking.

I read here once that pouring alcohol down an alcoholic's throat lights up all the pleasure receptors in the brain like a Christmas tree. That's what it's like for me. It doesn't matter if I take one sip, get smashed, or just decide to and go pick up. It's like this glorious bright lightshow that I can't stop looking at in my mind.

So for me, nope.
Most of us here wouldn't have ended up here if the answer to that was ever yes.

And none of us are required to go out and do research and test the waters. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by testing it out.

I agree, ask what your wife thinks? But maybe her perception has changed too, so be careful with that.
Think about it, write a list of pros and cons.
You really stand to gain nothing by ever picking up again.
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:23 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Sober Day # 135 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years.
************************************************** *******************

I was sober for 5 years, and then thought that I could have "just one glass of wine."
Immediately I was back to a bottle a night again. It took 5 1/2 years to quit again!
Don't do it-----it is the AV talking.
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Old 06-19-2017, 11:47 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I've not tested my sobriety - I've never been sober before. But I have tested my nicotine recovery - many times. I have now got it through my thick head that if I have just 1 cigarette I will be back chain-smoking within a month.

I am just as sure that if I have just 1 drink, I will be back pouring wine down my neck every evening within a month.

The thought of testing that, scares me.. a lot.
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Old 06-19-2017, 11:53 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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if you can more power to you but if you are an alcoholic like me don't take that drink.
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:11 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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who in the hell would want JUST two beers?????
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:22 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I would likely have avoided HUNDREDS of relapses if I had stuck with my original plan. I called dozens of friends and my parents at a party on
x-mas about my drinking, and no one said "don't do it", so I drank after 6 months sober and happy. 5 years later, I'm making a strong commitment, but it's ten-fold more difficult when you are constantly taking days, weeks, and months off, just to say "I think I'm normal, but not disciplined enough". It didn't work for me. Now I'm in the clutches of detox again.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:17 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I would be very careful with these thoughts! They kinda sound as if they could have relapse potential.
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:53 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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I couldn't do that, no.

Be careful not to confuse abstinence with control. Your life is immeasurably better because you've removed alcohol from your life - not because you somehow were gifted with control.

I truly believe alcoholism is a progressive condition.

If you drink again the adds are you'll not only go back to where you were but worse.

Don't lose your mind over this CH - stay true - maybe re-read some of your old threads?

D
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Old 06-19-2017, 05:23 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Moderation doesn't work for alcoholics and what I see from my years here at SR is that when people relapse after being in recovery for awhile, it is much harder than it was originally. If you tried moderating, I would expect that the obsessive thoughts would return immediately.
Yes indeed, that part I forgot about. I may have gotten away with drinking on the first night but there's something else that happened that was far worse.

The grinding wheel that I had successfully silenced for almost 18 months restarted immediately when I took that first sip. I may have only drank on weekends but I thought about it every day. That horrible waiting. Every time you restart it the task of getting it to stop again is that much harder.
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Old 06-19-2017, 05:42 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I once had 3 yrs. sober. I decided I could allow myself to have 'a few' now and then. After all, hadn't I learned my lesson? I'd never get carried away again. If I found myself drinking more than the amount I planned on, I'd stop immediately. Relying on willpower was insanity. All my resolve flew out the window once I allowed it in my system again. 7 years later I came crawling in to SR, completely broken. Please be careful with your precious sober life, CR.
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Old 06-19-2017, 06:13 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ruhroh View Post
I was 10 months sober when I went on vacation and decided a couple of drinks on vacay wouldn't hurt......that was 5 years ago and I've been wanting to quit ever since
Wow that sure hit home..... Thanks for this.

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Old 06-19-2017, 06:41 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Sure you can ,I assume you are an independent adult.

Why don't you want to quit?
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:25 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Thanks for all of the replies.

I will be lambasted for saying this but I guess after all these months of sobriety I wish I could just have the odd beer like a 'normal' person.

Now I read my own statement back I guess I hit the nail on the head... I myself know I am not 'normal' where alcohol is concerned.
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:33 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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I think nearly everyones had that thought, CR. (sorry for calling you CH before I had an old jazz guy, Coleman Hawkins, on the brain)

The change for me came was when the benefits of a sober life started really accruing...it made returning to old ways that much less attractive.

so...I guess the $64 question is what else have you changed besides not drinking...and what else do you think you could work on to keep you at peace and content with being in recovery?

D
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Old 06-20-2017, 02:13 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Yes, there were times when I only had the odd beer. And every time I felt really proud of myself that's all I had.

"Normal" people don't feel proud of themselves for only having one drink. They just don't think that way. I am not normal when it comes to alcohol. That's why I quit.
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Old 06-20-2017, 04:18 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I couldn't do that, no.

Be careful not to confuse abstinence with control. Your life is immeasurably better because you've removed alcohol from your life - not because you somehow were gifted with control.

I truly believe alcoholism is a progressive condition.


D
I think this is important. I know if I had 1 drink, the next thing would be "when is the next drink". It would be obsessive like was posted above.
I am not drinking because I am not drinking, not because I can control drinking.
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Old 06-20-2017, 05:17 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ColemanReese View Post
I am on Day 266 of my very first sobriety.

I have thought about just 'having one or two beers' occasionally.

I had a family holiday at the start of May.... All Inclusive. I have managed Christmas, New Year, Birthday and family get togethers and passed all the tests.

Can I moderate myself to the 'occasional beer or two'?
My short answer: NO.

My more eloquent answer is to share what someone I admire said in a meeting the other day when we were on this basic topic: "You might be the one in a million person who can do it- I don't know. But I know that being sober [AA] works for me, and I don't want to take the chance on giving it another go to see if I'm that one person. You have to decide for yourself."
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